by M. Robinson
She licked her lips, sucking in her bottom one like she always did when she was thinking about something really hard. “Why do you keep calling me that? My name is Mia.”
“Cuz once upon a time, a pigtail wearin’ spitfire reminded me of Pippy Longstockin’. Persistent as fuck, but cute as hell.”
She tried to hide back a smile, narrowing her eyes at me. “I did that?”
I nodded, wanting to tell her everything, but I didn’t want to overwhelm her or worse… scare her away.
“I met ya at the beach when you were just a baby girl. You were always up to no good, even back then. Followin’ me around when you knew better not to. Wantin’ to be my friend.”
“Oh… did we become friends then? Is that how I know you?”
“We became way more than that.”
“What do you me—”
“I warned you to stay away from my daughter!” her dad roared, interrupting us. Much to my disapproval.
“Lucas, enough! Please! Enough!” her mom ordered, standing out in front of him. Trying to keep him in place on the sidewalk a few feet away from us.
“What’s going on?” Mia asked, frantically shaking her head, looking from me to her parents. “This cannot be happening again! Do you not like any of my friends?”
“Lucas! Just let them be! Maybe it would help bring our daughter’s memory back! Please! I am begging you to back off.”
“Lucas, she’s right!” her Aunt Lily shouted, stepping out in front of them. “God, you can’t control this anymore! Mia has no idea who she is! Creed and Noah were a big part of her life before, whether you accept it or not! We all want Mia back, and at this point who cares?! He saved her life! He’s the reason—”
“You saved me?” Mia interjected, frowning her face, looking deep into my eyes. Desperately searching for an answer.
I refused to lie to her, so I merely stated, “Somethin’ like that.”
“Can you please tell me what’s going on? I want the truth! Who are you? What are we to each other?”
I was about to open my mouth to tell her everything I needed her to hear. Needed her to know, but I didn’t get the chance.
We were no longer alone.
“You want to know the truth, Mia? I’ll tell you the fuckin’ truth!” Noah called out, coming out of nowhere, bringing everyone’s attention over to him as he stepped in between Mia and me.
“Noah…” I warned, cocking my head to the side.
He callously smiled, grinning, “What, Creed? What are you gonna do? Huh? What can you possibly do that you haven’t already fucked up! You see, Mia, I used to love him, too. What’s not to love, right? My big, protective brother always there for me no matter what.”
“I still am.”
“Bullshit! The only thing people need protection from is you! All you do is fuck everythin’ up, takin’ lives that don’t even fuckin’ belong to you! Everythin' you touch is tainted, includin’ Mia!”
“Don’t do this… ain’t the time or the place,” I gritted out, shaking my head. Working my hands into fists.
He stepped back, throwing his arms out at his sides. “Come at me, bro! I don’t give a fuck about what you think! They need to know! She needs to know! What kind of man and brother… you really are.”
“Everythin’ I’ve ever done has been for you, you little shit. I’d fuckin’ sacrifice my life to save your sorry ass. Jealousy don’t suit ya, baby brother! She was never yours! Now walk the fuck away!”
“You think this is about Mia? Oh… Creed, you think you fuckin’ know me so well! This ain’t got shit to do with her! This is about you and me! Been waitin’ for this for a long fuckin’ time!”
Her uncles walked up, hearing all the commotion. Standing next to her parents’. Their eyes all glued to the scene unfolding in front of them. No one said a word, not even Mia. She stepped aside, away from us, watching with a fascinated regard. Waiting for all her questions to be answered, but I never wanted it to happen like this.
Never like fucking this.
“Noah, then you take it up with me! Alone! Not here! You handle your business with me, man to fuckin’ man! Yeah?”
“Why? You scared of the truth? It don’t matter, her family already fuckin’ hates you! And your girl… she don’t even know who you are! And thank Christ for that! You’re nothin’ but a selfish prick! Always have been!”
“Ain’t gonna tell you again, Noah...”
He laughed off my threat. “Was it for me when you went and played G.I. Fuckin’ Joe or for Autumn? The same girl that died cuz of you… pushed her away like you did with Mia. Except, it actually cost Autumn her life!”
Mia gasped beside me, placing her hand over her heart.
“Mia, it’s not—”
“Why don’t you go introduce them, Creed?! Her memorial is only about hundred fuckin’ feet from our daughter’s!”
I was over to him in one stride, getting right up into his face. “You don’t know shit about shit, motherfucker.”
He didn’t cower down, if anything he stood taller. “I know about the drunk ass mother you left me with and the piece of shit father who couldn’t keep his dick in his pants! For what?! So you could play the hero for once in your fuckin’ life! Give me a break… Autumn would have never been there had it not been for you… you didn’t join the military for her! You did it to clear your own fuckin’ conscience! How’d it work out for you? Huh? Feel better? Did pretendin’ like you weren’t the cause of everyone’s demise do it for you?!” he scoffed out, eyeing me up and down with a menacing glare.
“Wanna know what was really fun? All the times I had to help get Ma to bed after she passed out in her own fuckin’ puke! Pops didn’t give a flyin’ fuck about her! It only left me! How about all the times I thought she drank herself to death cuz she wouldn’t fuckin’ move! Havin’ to make her puke so she wouldn’t die of alcohol poison! What other times do you want me to tell you about, Creed? I got hundreds of them just like those. I’m sure these nice folks would love to hear about the scum their daughter’s been fuckin’. Let’s show them the real man behind the cut. The fuckin’ murderer!”
“That’s enough!” I ordered through a clenched jaw.
“What? Truth fuckin hurts, don’t it, brother? But I’m just gettin’ started. Hey, McGraw, you hearin’ all this?!” he hollered, nodding behind him.
I stepped back, away from him and took a deep breath. Remembering we weren’t alone.
“Where you goin’? Turnin’ your back on your brother again? On your fuckin’ family?” He shoved me, but I didn’t waver. “It’s too late for that, you son of a bitch! We ain’t brothers anymore!” He pushed me again, harder that time. “Our blood died the day you murdered my daughter, you piece of shit! But it should have died the day you murdered our brother!”
My fist collided with his face before he got the last word out. His head whooshed back, taking half of his body with him.
Mia gasped, backing further away from both of us. I didn’t know if it was because of everything he just confessed or she was just trying to get out of the line of fire. Knowing it wasn’t going to end here. Her dad ran over to her before I could give it more thought. Grabbing her arm, he pulled her away.
“Fuck,” I breathed out, seeing Noah stumbling around, shaking it off.
It was the first time I ever hit my brother. It was a kneejerk reaction from him provoking me. He wanted me to hit him, and I would learn soon enough why.
Spitting blood onto the pavement, he growled, “It’s on, motherfucker.” Charging me, ramming his shoulder into my torso. Taking me to the ground. My back skidded across the wet assault beneath me, but I was prepared for it and instantly fought back. Ignoring the sting and burn.
“Don’t wanna fight you, you fuck! Calm down!”
He straddled me, grabbing ahold of the front of my shirt, clocking me in the face. “I’ll calm down after I knock you the fuck out!”
We wrestled around for a few minutes, each of us try
ing to gain the upper hand on the other. Elbows, fists, and legs flew everywhere, intermingling together as we threw down. I heard the women screaming and yelling for their husbands to do something, but none of the boys would interfere. Not that I expected them to. They were probably hoping we’d just take each other out. Save them from getting their hands dirty, wanting to do it themselves.
Noah whaled me in the face, letting out all the years of pent-up anger and resentment toward me, but I knew he was really just hitting me for his daughter. Which was why I wasn’t fighting back as hard as I could have, mostly defending myself from his aggravated assault. I got on top of him, getting a few hits to his face.
He punched me in the gut right where I had been shot one too many fucking times, causing me to fall to the side. Using the momentum of his punch, he flipped me over, locking me in with his weight. I immediately guarded my face, but it didn’t matter. He nailed his fists into my ribs, my stomach, getting another few good hits to the side of my face, too.
“Fucking a!” I roared, blocking another blow.
He didn’t let up, tugging at my shirt, ripping it off. “Fuck you! Fight back, you bitch!”
I finally did, hitting him in the face, in the stomach, and then again in ribs. Over this bullshit. He peeled over while I staggered to my feet, thinking it was done. We were both panting heavily, sweating profusely with nothing but blood and rain dripping off our bodies and faces. Our eyes never wavered from one another, wild and brazen, taking each other in. He regained his composure, standing up straight. Loosening his tie and pulling his tucked shirt out from his pants, bringing it up to his face. Using it to wipe the blood running into his eye from the open gash above his brow. His chest heaved as he threw off his tie, ripping open his bloody collared shirt. Throwing it to the side, too.
It was then I realized it wasn’t over.
It was far from fucking over.
He pushed off the ground and came at me full force. Swinging, punching, kicking, hitting me all over. I fought back, throwing him onto the wet pavement with a thud, knocking the wind out of him. Hovering above him, beating his body and face in. Seeing nothing but fucking red as my bloody fists pounded in to him over and over again.
“This what you wanted, you little shit?!” I roared, hitting him again.
“Jesus! Please, Dad! Uncle Dylan! Uncle Jacob! Uncle Austin! Please! Somebody do something! They’re going to kill each other! Please!” I heard Mia beg in a terrified voice.
I immediately stopped mid-punch, pushed off Noah, barely being able to stagger back up to my feet. My body swayed, my head throbbed. Pain radiated everywhere. Noah wasn’t any better. Groaning into the ground, spitting up more blood, holding onto his side. I continued to forcefully pant, trying to get my heart from pounding out of my chest. Hastily wiping the blood from my face with the back of my hand. Blinking through the mist and haze before I threw my hand down to help him up. He looked at it, contemplating my offer. Deciding at the last second to grab ahold of it and pull me into his awaiting fist. Catching me off guard, he got a few more hits into my face and torso.
It was then her uncles and dad pulled us off each other. Needing two of them on each of us to separate our bodies and hold us back.
Noah’s face was void of any emotion. For the first time I didn’t recognize the man staring back at me.
He was no longer my brother.
Looking at me with nothing but disgust in his eyes, he sneered, “Might as well keep him like that,” Nodding toward McGraw who was still holding my arms behind my back. “He’s the one who took Mia! He’s not the fuckin’ hero! He’s the reason she was fuckin’ missin’! He had her the whole fuckin’ time!”
Before McGraw’s hold could tighten on me, I broke away. My hand instantly reached down into his holster, pulling out his gun and clicked off the safety. He instinctively grabbed ahold of my arm, trying to wrestle it out of my hands. When a single shot fired into the air.
“NO!” Mia screamed, her mom and aunt holding her back. Ducking to the ground.
McGraw let go, jumping back with his arms in the air, surrendering. Knowing I wasn’t fucking around. Aiming the gun directly at all them, only having seconds to haul ass before they would take me in. I would never hurt her family, but they didn’t have to know that.
“This ain’t over,” McGraw threatened, eyeing me and then his gun.
I nodded, knowing he couldn’t have been closer to the fucking truth. I quickly backed away, never taking my eyes or the gun off them as I jumped onto my bike. Throwing back the throttle, the engine roared to life.
“You won’t get away with this!” her dad yelled. “I will hunt you down and fucking kill you myself if I have to!”
I wanted to look back at Mia one last time, needing to see her face for just one second, knowing in my heart…
I may never see her again.
I didn’t.
I couldn’t.
Too terrified to see the look on her face, showing her the man I always tried to hide. I took off like a bat out of hell instead, chucking McGraw’s gun into the bushes furthest away from them.
The war didn’t end here. It was only the beginning. I would get to the bottom of the truth that cost me my entire life, even if it meant…
I could die in the process.
TWENTY
*Mia*
“How does that make you feel?”
“Have I told you how much I hate it when you ask that, Dr. Garcia.”
“And yet after three months of coming to see me, you still know I have to ask,” my therapist chuckled.
Two days a week I sat on a comfortable leather sofa and poured my heart out to a complete stranger. We talked about anything and everything. Sometimes she just listened, and other times she’d ask questions. Trying to stir the empty holes in my memory into submission. Erupt something, anything from the months I was held captive. Wanting to trigger an emotion to open the floodgates and drown me with the truths of who I was.
My parents’ sat in on the first few sessions, but Doctor Garcia quickly put an end to that. My dad’s outbursts earned him a seat in the waiting room more often than not. So eventually he was banned. The doctor felt that their presence wasn’t helping with my healing process. If anything it was possibly making it worse.
“It makes me feel confused,” I simply replied.
“Have you seen him?”
“No. Not since I found out the truth. You know how it went down, Doctor. We’ve spoken about it several times.”
“Let’s talk about it again.”
I sighed. “I knew you were going to say that.”
She nodded, waiting for me to continue.
“I don’t know who he is… I don’t remember him. All I know is what I’ve been told or what I’ve seen. His name is Creed, and his brother’s name is Noah. I still don’t know what Creed and I were to each other, but from what I’ve gathered, he was very important to me. I guess we were important to each other… One night I ended up at his MC clubhouse and got knocked up by Noah, which is what my parents’ have told me. Kick to a few months later… I ended up getting taken by Creed, but I still don’t know why or where I was. From what my parents’ have said, I guess there was a shootout where I was shot in the back and…” I bowed my head, fidgeting with the hem of my dress. “They had to perform an emergency C-Section. My baby was only seven months and didn’t make it. Creed took me to the hospital after… and now… we’re here,” I relayed, shaking my head. “Jesus, that just sounded like a soap opera.”
She chuckled, “A bit, but trust me. I’ve heard worse.”
“I bet.”
“Does recalling those events stir any memories or emotions?”
I shrugged. “Yes, but not in the sense that you want. It stirs feelings from the fight I witnessed between them. It was so raw and real. So much pent-up anger, I felt every word, every hit, hurting right along with them. I know Noah blames Creed for the loss of our baby girl. He’s told me how he feels.”
>
“Do you believe him?”
“Yes and no. I don’t think it was intentional or malicious on Creed’s part. I think it just happened and they did what could under the circumstances.”
“Now why do you think that? You don’t know this man. He’s a complete stranger to you.”
“Something in my heart tells me not to be afraid of him. Here’s the thing, Doctor, from the second I saw Noah, I felt a connection with him and that was before I knew he was the father of my baby. The same goes for Creed. When I saw him at the cemetery, I didn’t even realize I was walking toward him until I was standing in front of him. It was like being pulled by a string he was controlling. Luring me right to him. Then when we spoke, I could see it in his eyes, hear it in his voice… he loves me. And not in the ‘I love you, I love you, too,’ kind of way. It’s in the ‘You’re my person, my lobster, my everything,’ and that alone tells me that what we had was true,” I sincerely expressed for the first time. Feeling like an elephant had been lifted off my chest.
“Do you want to remember him?”
“I don’t know. I think about him a lot… more than I probably should,” I nervously laughed. “Sometimes I think it’s because I want him to tell me what happened. Give me some closure. Confront him to ask why he took me… and then other times I think it’s from missing him. That’s what confuses me the most, Doctor. How can I miss a man I don’t remember?”
“Our mind and hearts are two different organs, Mia. Just because you don’t remember your memories, doesn’t mean you can’t recall your emotions. The deep feelings may be coming from your core, reminding you of happier times.
“That’s deep, Doc.”
“Let’s walk through how you felt witnessing the burial.”
“We have been through this already. Out of everything you ask me to recall, for some reason that is the hardest.”
“It’s because I’m making you tap into those raw emotions. Pulling them forward in your mind so you can heal. You may not want to relive it, but it will eventually prove that you shared a bond as a mother to your baby girl, which can trigger so much, Mia. Do me a favor and close your eyes.”