by Liz Isaacson
Chapter 8
Trina was sure most of the staring landed on her and Cal’s joined hands. He walked between her and Sabrina, and Trina felt like she was on display.
She’d lived her whole life like that, but she still didn’t like the squiggly feeling in her stomach or the way her jaw muscles ached from holding her face so still for so long.
He led her to a pew on the left side in the back. “We sit back here,” he said, ushering Sabrina into the row first. “Because Bri likes to leave as soon as the choir sings the last song.”
“Do people normally stay later?” Trina asked, admiring Cal as he helped his daughter get all the way over so there was room for all of them.
“Some like to mingle, chat with each other, that kind of thing.”
Trina would like to leave as soon as the last note sounded in the hall also.
“And the pastor comes out and speaks to everyone,” Cal said. “We almost always beat him out.”
“Sounds great,” Trina said, not knowing she’d need to “mingle” and “speak with the pastor.”
They’d arrived early, and Trina gazed around the chapel, awed by the rich wood, the high ceilings, and the beauty of the morning light spilling through the huge windows in front of her and behind her.
An overwhelming sense of gratitude filled her, reminding her of the many things in her life she had. Maybe it was the Thanksgiving season, or maybe she was finally figuring out who she was, but she closed her eyes and sent the simplest prayer toward the rafters.
Thank you.
Her phone buzzed against her palm and she flipped it over and opened her eyes to Mom on the screen.
She smiled, probably for the first time, at the text.
Missing you today.
Another one came right after it.
How are you?
Really great, Trina texted back, the smallest of smiles forming on her face. She felt the weight of Cal’s eyes on her phone, and she tilted it toward him. “My mother.”
He lifted his arm and draped it around Trina’s shoulders, making her feel warm and wanted. She’d never felt small next to a man, but he made her feel that way—in a very good way. A way like he’d take care of her, protect her, love her no matter what happened.
Why so great? her mom asked.
Trina hunched her shoulders as her thumbs flew across the screen. Just that the job is going great, and I’ve made some friends.
So are you going to stay wherever you are?
Trina glanced up as a man announced, “Brothers and Sisters, welcome to our Sabbath Day worship.” He wore a bright smile and had a trustworthy face. Trina liked him instantly, even from this distance.
“That’s Miss Kelly’s cousin’s husband.” Cal’s lips practically tasted her ear he leaned so close.
Shivers cascaded across her shoulders. She hadn’t felt so giddy about a man in all of her thirty-three years. “I don’t even know how to follow that,” Trina whispered back.
Her phone forgotten, Trina focused on the way the choir filled the entire chapel with music as rousing as it was spiritual. And Trina felt something zing along her neck, down her spine, all the way into her toes.
She didn’t know what it was, but she liked the way it made her feel more powerful than she currently did. She liked the way she felt like she could fail and be okay. She liked the way she felt like she could change her life if she wanted to.
And she wanted to.
Trina picked up her phone and typed Yes, Mom. I’m going to stay where I am.
Right where she was, right next to Cal.
She snuggled deeper into his chest and he squeezed her shoulder and placed a kiss on her head. She’d experienced lazy days like this before—right after a big win, when she was home alone, drinking hot chocolate and ordering her favorite kind of pizza.
Today felt like that—like she could wear sweats and forget about makeup and no one would care. That whoever she ran into would accept her for who she was.
The feeling lasted all the way out to the ranch, where Cal made grilled cheese sandwiches and opened a couple of cans of tomato soup. He filled them with milk while Sabrina told Trina about their upcoming trip to Austin.
“Daddy says I can sleep with the other kids in the bunk beds.”
“Where do you normally sleep?” Trina asked, settling on the couch and keeping one eye on Cal in the kitchen. A man who could cook…definitely sexy.
“With Daddy. But he says I’m getting too old, and Uncle Kyle said there’s room with the cousins.” Sabrina pushed her shoes off her feet and sat right next to Trina.
“When’s the last time you saw your Uncle Kyle?”
Sabrina wore a blank look and shrugged. So not in a while. Trina didn’t know what that said about Cal—probably that he had a very busy job and didn’t visit his brother very often. She didn’t need to read too much into it.
“Lunch,” Cal called, and Trina followed Sabrina into the kitchen, slightly less skip in her step. He’d told her about his two sisters and one brother. She’d mentioned her family to him briefly. He’d given the details of his marriage and divorce, including that his ex-wife had some mental disabilities and more shoes than anyone should ever own. Still, her heart had gone out to him when he’d detailed the day the divorce papers had come.
Valentine’s Day. Though he’d been expecting the divorce papers, no one wanted a county representative with a large envelope with all the wrong papers inside for Valentine’s Day.
Even though the story was sad, Trina had enjoyed the sound of his voice mingling with the breeze, the openness of the land here as they’d walked. Cal didn’t seem to like being caged by walls either, so they at least had that in common.
When they finished eating, Cal cleared the dishes but just left them in the sink. “Who wants to go for a walk?”
Trina rose and brushed her hands together. “I do.”
“Can we take the barn dogs?” Sabrina asked.
“Go see if they’re there.”
Sabrina skipped toward the front door. Cal watched her, a smile lighting his whole face. “They’ll be there. They just lay around on Sundays.”
“Barn dogs?”
“Oh, Squire’s got a couple of dogs he uses to help round up the cattle. Well, more than a couple, but these two were born in the barn, and they like it there.”
“What kind of dogs?”
“Blue heelers, like mine.”
Trina glanced around. “You have dogs?”
Cal blinked at her. “I have two dogs.”
“Where?” She seriously had never seen a dog here before. “How did I not know this?”
“They hang out around the ranch,” he said. “You never saw the dog food bowls on the front porch?”
She glanced at the boot, still stuck in place like a horrible painting that someone had glued up and Cal couldn’t remove no matter how hard he tried. “No, I’ve never seen the dog food bowls on the porch.”
“Blitz and Bits,” he said. “They’re mine, but they roam around. They help with the round-up too.”
“Do you help with the round-up?”
He swept one arm around her and brought her close. “This may surprise you, but I’m not just a veterinary technician. I rode the rodeo circuit for a year and worked ranches while I finished school.”
“That isn’t a definitive answer.”
He chuckled and ducked his head to place a kiss on her cheek. “Yes, I help with the round-up too. I’m Squire’s Number Two, remember? And he has fifty thousand head of cattle that need looking after.”
Trina’s head spun with the vastness of what they did at the ranch. She had no idea what it took to keep that many animals alive and healthy. What kind of chores the cowhands had to face everyday. The finances for an operation as large as this.
“Found ‘em.” Sabrina stuck her head into the house. “Let’s go.”
“Let’s go,” Cal echoed, nudging Trina toward the door. Once on the porch, he leaned into the
railing and whistled through his teeth. The shrill sound seemed to go on forever, and it pitched up for the last second.
Two gray streaks came around the corner, becoming more dog-shaped the closer they got. They bounded up the steps to Cal, their tails wagging and their tongues lagging out of their mouths.
“See? Blitz and Bits.” He leaned over and scrubbed them down, the adoration for his dogs evident in his treatment of them as he told them what good dogs they were and that they needed baths.
“Can I bathe ‘em, Daddy?”
“No, baby,” he told Sabrina. “Ranch dogs don’t actually get baths. We can spray ‘em with the hose after we walk, if you want.”
Sabrina didn’t seem upset by his denial, and she skipped between the cabins, all four dogs trotting after her. Trina wasn’t sure how she felt about the blue heelers, but when Cal captured her hand in his, they disappeared from her mind.
There was only Cal and the delicious heat from his touch.
“What are you doing for Thanksgiving?” he asked.
“Libby invited me to her parents’ in Oklahoma City.”
Several paces passed before he said, “She just learned how to skip,” and nodded toward his daughter.
Trina watched Sabrina as she literally skipped from one flower to a clump of brown grasses, then over to one of the dogs. “She’s great.”
“I think so, but I’m pretty biased.” He squeezed her hand. “What did you think of church?”
“I liked it,” she said, genuine happiness bubbling up inside her. “I really liked it.”
“That’s great.”
Trina felt like the pieces of her new self were out there, swimming just beyond her reach. She just needed to grab them all and make them fit together. Maybe one of the pieces was the care of her spirit, something she’d never really done.
“So you said you needed to tell me something,” Cal said, his voice a bit on the guarded side. “The other day at lunch. Something about when we met.”
Trina’s mind went from calm and relaxed to frenzied in a single breath. She searched her mind for what she’d said, but nothing came. She didn’t want to ruin this perfect day with her confession about who she was. At the same time, she was tired of living with the weight of keeping her identity a secret.
“Trina?”
“What do you remember about when we met?”
Cal gazed at the horizon. “I remember you were beautiful. Took my breath away.”
A kernel of warmth pushed against the truth she was withholding from him. She, more than anyone, knew that secrets had a cost, that they were never free.
“I remember thinking I needed to ask you for help,” she said.
“Help?”
“With the horses.”
“I don’t follow.”
“I….” Trina cleared her throat, searching for the words. “I’m a California city girl, Cal. I have no experience with horses.”
He slitted his eyes and looked at her out of the corner of them. “You do now.”
“I suppose that’s true.”
“Brynn has never said anything negative about you.”
“That’s because she’s really kind.” Trina giggled but it came out more strangled than anything else. “I watched videos on the Internet to learn how to saddle a horse. I wasn’t even sure what a stable was.”
Cal said nothing, and the space between them turned charged. “Bri,” he called after his daughter. “Don’t go that way.” He released Trina’s hand and stalked away. He scooped up his daughter and their laughter filled the sky.
Still, Trina felt sure he was upset with her. She slowed and fell further behind, enjoying the time to herself the way she always had. At the same time, she didn’t want to live with Libby forever, and she didn’t want to live alone either. She hadn’t lived alone as an adult ever. She always had security, or an assistant, or her parents.
She drew in a deep breath and watched as Cal turned back to her. Something had definitely changed in his demeanor. In the past, Trina wouldn’t have cared. She’d have restrung her racquet, toughened up her mental game, and gone out there to crush the competition.
But this wasn’t tennis, and Cal wasn’t her opponent.
And she didn’t like the person she used to be.
So it was time to do something different, be someone different.
Chapter 9
Cal wasn’t great at bottling his emotions to deal with later. He wasn’t sure why his annoyance switch had been flipped when Trina had mentioned that she’d taken a job she had no right to even apply for.
He’d hurried away from her before she could discover his frustration, but it hung like a scent on the air, and she wasn’t stupid. Quite the opposite, in fact.
You like her too much, he told himself for the tenth time since picking her up that morning. Since he’d kissed her, he’d thought about little else. He wanted to see her in the morning, before he brushed his teeth. See her puttering around the kitchen at lunchtime, heating up a container of last night’s leftovers. See her in the last moments before he closed his eyes and fell asleep.
Sure, the relationship had progressed fast, but Cal was old enough to know what he liked and what he wanted.
And he liked Trina and wanted to be with her.
“Hey,” she said, approaching him with long, sure strides. “What’s wrong?”
“Wrong?” He set Sabrina down on the ground and patted her back, hoping she’d run after Blitz and Bits. She did, leaving him to speak with Trina in private.
“I can tell you’re upset.” She folded her arms and looked him straight in the eye.
And boy, if that didn’t make his blood run hotter. “I appreciate hearing things straight up,” he said, finally realizing what had bothered him so much about what she’d said. “I don’t like liars.”
Her eyes flashed. “You think I’m lying?”
“I have a feeling,” he said. “I have for a while. You’re…evasive about certain things.”
She clenched her arms across her chest and looked away.
“Like that,” he said. “I’ve seen you do that several times. When I asked you about your family. About college.” Another light bulb went on in his brain. “Pretty much anything in your life that happened before you arrived here.”
“I don’t want the life I had before I got here. Did you ever think of that?”
Cal’s heart cinched. “What happened?” he asked, his voice low in both pitch and volume so he wouldn’t scare her away. “Why don’t you want that life?”
“Wasn’t the one I wanted.”
“Is that what you’re doing here? Starting over?”
“Yes.” She swept the horizon before focusing on him again. “And I’ve learned a lot on the job. Brynn’s taught me a lot. I’ve been able to do everything she’s asked. I work hard, and I’m smart, and I—”
“I know, Trina.” Regret filled him and he flitted his fingers toward hers, brushing the tips against her wrist.
“I didn’t lie,” she said. “About the job. She called me and asked me if I could start on Monday. I said yes, and she said the job was mine.”
Cal’s eyes widened. “She didn’t ask you anything about horses?”
“Not a thing.”
He put his arms around her and pulled her the one step into his arms. She remained stiff, unyielding, exactly what he expected from someone as headstrong and beautiful as Trina. He’d enjoyed their walks through the countryside so much, loved telling her about his brother and sisters, his ex-wife, his daughter.
So he’d revealed more than she had. Didn’t mean she’d lied, and he felt bad for accusing her of such things.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “My—Petra taught me not to trust anything anyone says. I’m cautious, that’s all.”
She finally relaxed against his chest, her arms coming up around his back. Nothing felt as good as holding Trina, and he slipped a little further down the slope toward love.
Fear overtook
his thoughts. Everything was moving so fast. Too fast. He’d only met this woman a few weeks ago, and yet he’d been entertaining thoughts of her living with him in the cabin on the ranch and tying ribbons into his daughter’s hair before church.
He told himself that he didn’t have to get married next week just because he liked Trina. At the same time, Cal wasn’t one to wait around when he knew what he wanted.
“My parents don’t know where I am,” she said, her breath warming through the fabric of his shirt and infecting his skin.
He pulled back, acknowledging the very vulnerable thing she’d just said. He put his fingers under her chin and lifted her face toward his so he could see her eyes. Agony lived there, and Cal wanted nothing more than to take it away. Fix everything in her life, the way she seemed to have fixed him.
She stretched up and touched the tip of her nose against his, her mouth half an inch from his. “Why haven’t you told them?” he asked, their breath mingling together. Every cell in his body tingled in anticipation, and still she didn’t kiss him.
“I—I—”
He ran his thumb along her bottom lip, a growl starting low in his stomach. She finally grazed his mouth with hers, leaving him hungry and wanting more. So much more.
“Cal,” she started, and hearing his name in her heated, husky voice sent a pulse straight through him. “I’m not who you think I am.”
He didn’t care who she was. He knew who he’d gotten to know over the past month, and he liked that woman a whole lot.
“Who are you?” he asked anyway.
She claimed his mouth fully then, and he kissed her back eagerly and brought her flush against him. He thrilled at the touch of her cool fingers along his warmer neck, along his hairline, down the sides of his face.
He kissed her and kissed her, deepening their connection until he thought sure she’d push him away. But she didn’t, and Cal finally got ahold of his hormones and broke the kiss. Just because it was Trina’s first time at church didn’t mean Cal didn’t know better. He did.
He tried to calm his ragged breathing with a deep inhale, but his heart still raced like he’d just finished running a marathon.