by S. K Munt
Actually Arcadia doesn’t throw out third-born children either- they take them in like they took me in. So if there are any innocents on the other side of that fence, then it’s because they made a poor decision, or because whoever is responsible for them made several of them. They need help, certainly… but should they be allowed to re-join society because it’s cold out? Not necessarily. Kohl should be doing more thinking, and less demanding! And he shouldn’t be doing anything within an inch of this Amelia-Rose person! She who wants Companions herded up and put into the Corps like criminals!
‘It’s definitely suspicious, and it’s not like Atticus to tolerate a loose cannon swinging about. I swear, if I hadn’t noticed the chemistry between him and Jovi, I’d assume that mother was fucking him to buy Kohl a military career.’
I flinched before darting my eyes at Kohén and he snorted. ‘What? You didn’t know?’ I nodded and then pointed to him and he waved a hand at me. ‘I conduct electricity, remember? Which means that I pick up on charges between others- and Jovi and Atticus are downright uncomfortable to be around sometimes.’ I laughed gently and soundlessly and he perked up a little, resting his elbows on his knees before leaning over to gently turn my face to the side, eyeing my hair. Only then did I realise that I’d started fishtail-braiding it. ‘Nice. I’ve always wondered how that’s done. Anyway… for better or for worse, Amelia-Rose and Kohl have barricaded themselves away in the kitchen to cook huge batches of soup for like, three hours a day- but only when there are no official events on, of course.’ Kohén shifted, sitting so that his legs were open on either side of mine and then took my hair from my hands and to my surprise, began to twist the strands together while wearing a thoughtful, focused expression. ‘They’re eager to help the homeless, but not so eager that they’d pass up on a single wine tasting or miss the opportunity to have their portraits painted in the common during the markets, you know? It’s all so… choreographed.’ I nodded, making a face because that was exactly how it sounded to me too and trying to ignore how good he smelled. ‘But hey… whatever keeps her out of my hair and him out of father’s good graces…’ Kohén kissed my shoulder, tugged on my braid and whispered. ‘You’re not jealous, are you? Of the fact that Kohl is going out of his way to spend time with another girl?’
I swallowed hard. I was of course, but I shook my head no, and then backed it was an eye-roll to make it a bit more convincing.
‘Good,’ Kohén went back to braiding my hair, ‘because I have a feeling that that’s what he wants- for me to report back his antics to you until your skin is as green as his was when he saw us together, which is ridiculous because Amelia-Rose isn’t in your league- not even with all of her money and life experience.’
I had a feeling that there was a lot more to Kohl’s new friendship with Amelia-Rose than a strategic move to make me jealous or as a means to make a martyr of himself, because he was far too kind a person to use anyone for personal gain… but I didn’t know what he was trying to accomplish by forming an alliance with her and I didn’t want to know, so I merely shrugged, and Kohén chuckled. I twisted to raise an eyebrow at him, silently demanding to know what was so funny, and he reached up to cup my cheek while gazing adoringly into my eyes.
‘Your voice- or lack thereof… why do I get a feeling that it must be as convenient for you during this time in our lives, as it is inconvenient for me?’ He brushed my hair over my ear as I blushed furiously. ‘Oh, don’t think I’m not aware of how relieved you must be to have a genuine excuse to remain silent on several hundred subjects right now, my sweet little swan. I mean, I know it must be torture for you to have to keep all of the nasty things you’d like to say to me to yourself while you’re so angry with me as well… but we both know that Kohl’s chances of getting back to Pacifica without me beating him to a bloody pulp increase with every day that passes by, without you having the ability to point out how superior you think he is, compared to me, don’t we?’ I snorted twice gently out of my nose in a subtle laugh that I almost couldn’t curtail, but Kohén chuckled, grabbed me by the back of the hair and pulled my face up against his so that he could growl gently and bite on my lower lip. ‘Cheeky girl… if you weren’t so unwell I’d prove just how superior I am to him right now, by bending you over this bedhead, and fucking you so hard and fast that I’d pound every thought of him out of your head forever.’ I gasped as the mental imagery assailed me and made my sex cramp up in anticipation of such violent passion- the kind that would dull my thoughts much more quickly than the wine would- but Kohén sighed and disentangled himself, leaning over me to pull a sack off the floor, which he deposited on my lap. ‘But I promised Cherry that I would not so here… I offer a consolation prize. Though it may not prove me to be superior to Kohl in your eyes, it may prove me to be as thoughtful.’
Practically panting and overwhelmed with disappointment now that he’d heated me to my very core but was making no move to put the fire out, I poked open the sack automatically, raising my eyebrows when I saw a stack of books within. He’d brought me books? I looked up at him and was debating whether or not to speak at last just so that I could tell him that I’d much prefer the first thing he’d suggested, but Kohén smiled.
‘I told some of your friends that I was going to go to the library to try and find something that you hadn’t read already to help you pass time while you convalesce, and when I suggested it, your friends offered to supply you of a collection of the ones they’d brought with them,’ Kohén said, tapping on the bag. ‘There’s a Pacifican History book in there from Atticus, a few romances from Ora, one about meditation from Lette, and an adventure book from my uncle, Ewan.’ He smiled crookedly. ‘Karol and mother said they’d see if they had anything for you too, but I told them that I’d be checking them very carefully for private correspondence hidden within, and strangely enough, they opted not to trouble themselves by lending you books after all. Funny, isn’t it?’
I gave him a withering look, reached into my bedside table and produced a notepad and pencil. He watched with interest while I wrote down: ‘Do you honestly still suspect that I’d take up an offer to correspond with anyone behind your back, given how much is on the line?’ Kohén sighed before I’d finished writing and said:
‘No actually I don’t- but I wouldn’t put it past them. Mother’s getting angrier and angrier with every day that passes without me bringing you out of the harem, and Karol practically isn’t talking to me- which suits me just fine. As far as I’m concerned, both of my brothers can go fuck themselves for trying to come between us anyway. Mother too.’
I frowned, and then wrote: ‘Is there nothing that can be done to ease tensions between you all? It can’t look good for the entire royal family to be giving each other the cold shoulder at a time like this.’ Of course I was hoping that their family dramas were bringing heat upon them and the Given caste, but he didn’t have to know that!
Kohén snorted. ‘Short of turning back time? No. But our strife isn’t as obvious as you’d think. After all, mother’s devotion to her other two sons is as rock solid as it always has been, Kohl and I are being incredibly civil towards one another in public despite how we feel about each other in private, and now that I am getting back out there and joining in on the celebrations again, father is pleased with me for handling all of these crises in a circumspect manner. He’s even happy with Karol’s birthday wish now that he’s seen how it has won the public over without putting him out too much.’
I’ll bet he is! I thought snidely, knowing how freaked Elijah had been at the prospect of having to buy my allegiance to Arcadia after one of his sons had released me, because his other son had failed to seduce me. Kohén hadn’t just kept me duty-bound to Arcadia, but he’d done it without spending a cent, and had managed to make it look like I’d sacrificed my freedom for love of a Barachiel. How romantic!
‘And how does he feel about Kohl?’ I wrote. ‘Aside from the issue with the Banished, I mean?’
Kohén shrug
ged. ‘He’s pretty much forgiven him for developing a crush on you and for the scene he made when we burst his bubble on Tuesday night… but only because he believes that it was a passing fancy, and because he knows that Kohl has not been groomed to keep his composure in the face of drama, as I have. He, mother and Karol do not know that you cared for Kohl back, or that he encouraged you to betray me with him, and so long as they go on believing that, all of this will eventually blow over.’ He lifted my chin and looked into my eyes, and I hoped he couldn’t see my panic in them. No, Karol didn’t know that I’d had feelings for Kohl, and neither did Elijah- but Constance did, and that was precisely what was allowing her to maintain her anger. ‘But that is only if you and Kohl hold your tongues about all of the other stuff that went on, and agree to leave whatever feelings and hopes you had for one another in the past, understood? Kelia was the only person that had enough inside knowledge on these sordid matters to pose a serious threat to us from the outside, and we need to keep it that way. One confession from you, Kohl or myself to anyone that doesn’t have as much to lose as we do could get us all disinherited, banished or killed- depending on the intensity of the confession. Admitting that you wrote Kohl could get you in hot water, and I suppose that we could write off as a harmless crush… but admitting the truth to Kelia’s demise?’ He shuddered. ‘We’d all be done for- even you for having witnessed it, because not speaking the truth about what happened makes you as much of a criminal according to Arcadian laws as if you’d killed her yourself.’
I cringed. Perhaps there was a part of me that sort of hoped that all of our secrets would be revealed, because not having to keep them anymore would be a relief and could unlock a door that might see me thrown out of Eden and out of Kohén’s reach and Kohl’s accountability for it. But no, I wouldn’t go down for Kelia’s murder, and I didn’t even want Kohén to be held responsible for it. That knowledge made something inside me wither. When had been rendered a Companion gone from being to my worst-case scenario, to my best-case one?
Um… when you met Satan, maybe, and realised that Hell wasn’t just a hypothetical state of mind or being- but a physical location that she’d eager to suck you into?
‘Exactly,’ Kohén said. ‘Everything else I could deal with, but not that, which is why I’m not giving mother a hard time about parading Kohl around like a prized trophy, or teasing him too much for martyring himself at Amelia-Rose’s side. It’s a struggle to keep my temper and the sparks that can come with it in check, but that kid needs something else to look forward to or live for- something that has nothing to do with you, because so long as there’s a chance that he will be overcome enough by sadness to confess everything to someone else, there’s a chance that all of us could end up on the other side of that fence, you know?’
I nodded, because I did. ‘Yes,’ I wrote quickly, squinting and struggling to make my handwriting legible given how drunk I was. ‘I’d wipe the last five years from his mind, if I could, if only to bring him peace and end his suffering.’
‘I could,’ Kohén gave me a crooked smile. ‘Say the word, and I’ll put him into a coma or in the very least- hurt him enough to give him short-term memory loss.’ I gave Kohén a foul look and he chuckled. ‘Yeah okay, okay… I’ll behave. Besides- we only have to wait two more days until the party ends and he goes home now. I know it’ll take a lot to get over you, but the distance and time will help, I’m sure of it. Karol wouldn’t shut up about letting you out of there all of yesterday, but he’s been plastered to Ora a lot, so there’s only so much he can say on the matter without making his crush obvious too, you know? It would be so much easier if Kohl actually developed feeling for that Choir bitch, but who could?’
I snorted and wrote: ‘Too bad that Kohl doesn’t have a harem of his own, hmm? Certainly kept your mind off me for a while there.’
It was Kohén’s turn to scowl. ‘It did nothing of the sort and you damn well know it, Larkin! How many times do I have to remind you of that fact? I’ve had sex and experienced release with someone that wasn’t you ONCE, my love- ONCE! Which is exactly how many times you would have been unfaithful to me, had it truly been Kohl in that corridor on Tuesday, rather than I!’
My stomach flipped but I scribbled furiously: ‘Actually no, I’d still be a virgin because Kohl wouldn’t have taken advantage of me like that- and you know it.’
Kohén read the words and then looked at me, raising an eyebrow. ‘Do you actually believe that?’
I realised that no, I didn’t, the moment I saw Kohén’s eyes fill with scepticism. Not just because Kohén understood male insatiability better than I did- but because Kohl had already confessed to me that he probably wouldn’t have made it past my sixteenth birthday without taking me either, so I truly did know better.
But before I could write an apology, Kohén waved my hand away from the page. ‘Don’t bother, Larkin. I don’t want you to rush to his defence, even if I do get a bit of a kick out of knowing how wrong you have us both. I’ll let you go on believing that he is as pious as you both believe, and allow you to treat me like the only monster within Eden’s walls because-’ I yanked him back to me by the collar of his white shirt and smushed my mouth against his, silencing him while desperately trying to soothe him. He pulled back and attempted to wrestle my hands off his collar. ‘Don’t,’ he said gruffly, though his eyes were already darkening with lust. ‘I’ve told you that I need more from you than this, and until you believe me…’ he pushed me gently back down on the bed and adjusted himself. ‘Read, Larkin. Read, heal… and believe what you will. Time is all that will prove to you that you have overestimated him and underestimated me, but luckily for us both- we have a lot of that now.’ He straightened his collar and smoothed his hair. ‘Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’m going to sleep in my own room tonight. I trust myself to keep my hands off you while I am awake, but not in my slumber.’ he flickered his eyes over my notebook again and scowled. ‘Although right now, I kind of want to wring your neck more than I want to do anything else.’
He was leaving me? I froze with my hand at my mouth, and although Kohén shot a longing look my way, he turned his shoulder and opened my door. ‘Good night, little bird. Sleep peacefully in your cage unmolested, and I shall see you in the morning, hopefully in better spirits for not having been forced to tolerate your captor’s presence all night long.’
‘Please don’t go!’ I whispered hoarsely, but not quickly enough. The door clicked shut between us, and though I knew that Kohén had left me only to resist temptation and to make a point, the fact of the matter was that I’d never felt more like a whore than I had in that moment, to be left in my harem room alone with my thoughtlessness, ingratitude- and the stack full of books that I’d not thanked him for.
9.
I slept restlessly and with a heavy heart on Thursday night, regretting pretty much every minute of my life except for the ones I’d spent playing soccer with Kohén as a child, but the alcohol in my bloodstream was strong enough to render me unconscious somewhere around two a.m., and when I woke up in the morning, I was amazed to see that although Kohén had kept his word to stay out of my bed, he’d let himself back into my chamber, and was sleeping curled up on my bearskin rug in front of the fire like a faithful dog. That sight made me smile, not just as I reflected on the jokes that Kohl, Emmerly and I had made on the night of the formal banquet regarding Kohén’s faithfulness to me (in matters of the heart, at least), but because there was an innocent beauty to his peaceful features now that was so much more beguiling due to the fact that he was sound asleep and for once, not trying to intentionally win me over. The curve of his cheekbone, the strong line of his jaw, his full, flushed lips, his thick black lashes- all of it detailing his coppery skin… he truly was divine, half an Indian Brave and half a Roman God, and my lips ached to brush against the smooth, sweet skin behind his ear against his hairline where he always smelled so good.
I’d fallen asleep without touching the sack of books, and
now I crawled off the bed and over to Kohén, taking the notepad with me, knowing that I had to make him forget the fight we’d had the night before and convince him of my loyalty to him over Kohl before he reverted to being violently paranoid again. He stirred when I straddled his hips and rolled him gently onto his back, smiling in his sleep and whispering my name, but his eyes did not open until I kissed him gently behind his ear and then bent to inhale his freshly-washed and still neatly barbered black hair.
‘Lark?’ Kohén asked, blinking slowly as he awoke, and I felt something else stir- something that was pressed into my pelvic bone. ‘What’s going on? Why are we…?’ He looked around and then made a face. ‘Right, I forgot. I snuck in here when I couldn’t sleep, didn’t I?’ I shrugged. I didn’t know when he’d come in, but I was glad that he had because it made me feel less like a discarded sex worker, so I softened that shrug with a smile. Kohén wrinkled up his nose. ‘How embarrassing. Guess it’s pretty clear which is the girl in this relationship, hey?’
I smiled, but then thought it over and wrote on my notepad: ‘Is it?’
‘Yeah well, I’m the emotional one, and you’re the one that keeps trying to push me away because she has more important things to do than be in love.’
‘That shouldn’t be the defining line between being a woman or a man, should it? The fact that you’re a die-hard romantic is the one thing that you have left going for us, as far as I am concerned. Without that trait, I would have tied you to a tree and thrown a jar of wasps at you last year!’ I showed him the page and he rolled his eyes.
‘Gee, thanks. I feel so much better about sleeping on your floor like the bitch that I am now.’ He looked around, asking with a wry expression; ‘Where are your slippers? Shall I fetch them using my teeth?’