Can You Hear Me

by Nick Morgan

  As this organization finds, it’s hard for participants to know when to speak. It can feel quite rude to interrupt, and yet if you don’t, you may in essence disappear because a two-

  dimensional picture is not the same to our brains as a real person. The other participants may forget that you’re there unless you assert yourself from time to time. And yet doing so can feel arbitrary, clumsy, or overly aggressive.

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  196 Specific Techniques for Specific Digital Channels This company reports that, in its meetings, its employees often feel compelled to add something on every point to coun-teract the feeling of invisibility. The result is meetings that seem to last forever.

  At the same time, where there are real disagreements, employees can feel more constrained in a virtual meeting and might hold their negative comments until they have a chance for a one-to-one conversation later. The result is yet more meetings and inefficiency.

  We don’t say what we mean on

  video, and we don’t feel heard

  Employees also feel intense pressure to keep up with the email and Slack conversations endlessly swirling around them. If they do keep up, it is at the peril of not getting anything else done. If they don’t keep up, then other employees can feel slighted.

  Then there are the meetings that are mixed with in- person people and virtual people. The virtual participants feel like second-class citizens and routinely fail to get heard—or to feel heard. These problems with modern virtual and digital ways of working are endemic, and the solutions to them involve learning new ways of working that can feel awkward and intrusive at first.

  There are three broad categories of response necessary, and each category has applications for the videoconference. First, you need to institute formal means for turn-taking. Second, you need to create a new role, that of an MC, to provide a referee and coach for the various forms of virtual meetings, to ensure that all participants feel heard. And third, you need a way to do what Medina calls perception checks to understand Chapter_09.indd 196

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  the emotional undercurrents hidden by the virtual nature of the conversation or meeting.

  These three broad categories cover the elements missing from virtual conversations and meetings. Let’s look at how they apply to the videoconference.

  Taking turns is less automatic online

  Turn-taking is surprisingly difficult to master once we humans are taken out of our normal settings, where it’s a natural part of conversing, such as sitting around a campfire, munching on the marrow bones of woolly mammoths, and talking over the hunt. As we grow up, we learn a whole retinue of winks, blinks, eye rolls, nods, head tilts, and so on that help regulate simple conversation. We gradually extend those to more-formal settings in classrooms and workplaces, and by the time we’re adults, most of us can take turns without having to think consciously about it very much.

  In a video setting, a whole set of other sensory perceptions beyond mere sight and sound is missing. I’ve alluded to the differences in air movement caused by the shifting in space of the people around us. In addition, we rely on a complete mental map of the room we’re in to keep track of the people near us; on video, that mental mapping is hampered, so we don’t know where exactly the potential friends and foes in the room are located. That’s stressful.

  Lacking many of these clues, our brains get busy trying to make up information, and we have a harder time getting accurate signals from the few sensory inputs that are left. And so we find it hard to get a grip on the normal activities of turn-taking.

  We need help.

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  198 Specific Techniques for Specific Digital Channels A simple technique is to first discuss and then implement the device of hand raising. It’s familiar to just about everyone from school, and it is minimally intrusive. Get verbal agreement from everyone (in turn) to wrap up what they’re saying when they see a hand go up, and the problem is solved, for the most part.

  An MC’s role can be as involved as you want When there are more than two participants, institute the role of an MC, or a chair. The chair’s responsibility is to keep track of the discussion at a level the group is comfortable with and to ensure that everyone’s voice is heard. If he or she is able, the MC can also help you summarize points, compare people’s points of view, note actions to be taken, ensure that the agenda is adhered to, and do any other task to help keep the meeting on target. The MC

  can also help with the third area, below.

  Conduct a perception check

  The third area, then, is Medina’s perception check. As I noted in chapter 7, the best method is the simplest. Have each participant rate his or her emotional temperature in three categories—green (everything’s OK); yellow (I’ve got some concerns, but nothing desperate); and red (I’m upset). If more-specific applications of the method are needed, the temperature check can be taken at ten-minute intervals or after significant stages are reached. You can also call for more-detailed descriptions of how the person is feeling.

  With these three modes of assistance in place, videocon-

  ferences can be made bearable. They are still stressful for the Chapter_09.indd 198

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  unconscious mind, however, and as such, they should be strictly timed, with appropriate breaks every ten minutes or so, so that participants have time to recover.

  Collaboration remains the most important and most difficult aspect of virtual communication Some business trends represent positive efforts to improve individual productivity and broader teamwork. Other trends have caused some unintended consequences of social and technological change. But all these trends have led us to our fractured, flattened, knowledge-based virtual world that leaves us overstressed, isolated, and not truly present. Supply-chain improvements led to just-in-time production and delivery—and around-the-clock work. Taking out layers of bureaucracy led to pushing authority down in the organization—and increased isolation. More-flexible working conditions led to a blurring of work and home lives. The iPhone and its relatives made all sorts of remote working possible—and meant we could always be reached. And so on down the line.

  The part that none of the modern world’s inventors saw coming was that this whole new host of tools would overstress the unconscious working of our brains because of what those tools provided and what they left out. The videoconference is a prime example. It enables you to be present—and yet not present. It enables you to leap over geographical distances—yet leaves you feeling more isolated than ever. It enables you to examine conditions, objects, and employees in distant places—

  and yet you often mistake what you see and misunderstand what you don’t see.

  The videoconference is an imperfect tool. You should never think of it as an adequate substitute for presence.

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  200 Specific Techniques for Specific Digital Channels To improve videoconferences, work

  on your own personal skills

  In addition to structural ways to make videoconferencing more effective, you can transform your own habits to combat the challenges of virtual interaction. Consider the following four ways to make a videoconference better.

  First, change how you think. Begin by imitating the movie business; after all, you’re on screen. The movie world is used to, and expert at, gathering a team for a limited time to get a job done. The people on the team may or may not know each other, but they have clearly defined roles and follow clear protocols and customs designed to control their interactions. They work together for the time it takes to make the movie, and then the team disbands.

  The future of the work world will come to more closely imi-tate this arrangement. Consequently, clearly defining the roles for everyone at the beginning o
f the project, or even the single videoconference, will increase efficiency and productivity and decrease stress.

  If the videoconference is part of an ongoing work stream, set up a separate database to handle all the aspects of meeting and handling the team, from calendars to to-do lists to the rules of the road and the mission, values, and goals of the project.

  But remember to check on your impressions verbally during the conference; don’t assume that silence implies agreement.

  For many occasional users of video, the experience is unsettling enough that it may inhibit their usual tendencies to voice disagreements, volunteer for further work, or otherwise participate.

  Regularly stop to check in, ascertain agreement or its opposite, and allow for commentary on the proceedings thus far.

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  You’ve probably got a team based all over the world; that’s why you’re using video. So, be sensitive to time differences, cultural differences, and levels of commitment. Human energy levels vary enormously depending on the time of day, and cultural commitments to calendars, times, and work levels vary as well.

  Don’t assume everyone is on your clock and thinks like you.

  Share documents well in advance of the meeting so that they can be downloaded and reviewed during the meeting. It’s simply rude to distribute a lengthy document to all participants a few minutes before the meeting starts. Yet it happens all the time.

  Resist the temptation to do things at the last minute.

  Speaking of advance work, have a side communications channel and a plan B. Technology will inevitably fail to work, so be ready. Have a secondary communications channel ready, for commenting on the main channel, and have a plan B ready in case of catastrophic failure. Circulate information about the team in advance—include both work qualifications and social tidbits. The former establishes credibility and the latter creates a more congenial atmosphere.

  Further, you should establish the desired outcomes of the meeting in advance. It’s important for everyone to know what they’re supposed to be helping to accomplish, and having this knowledge ahead of time lowers stress.

  Then, on the call, as in conference calls and webinars, practice active listening—summarizing and repeating what others say so that they feel heard. Verbally summarizing a participant’s comments should primarily be the MC’s or chair’s responsibility, but all the participants can partake as well. And give regular feedback. Regular, timely feedback will help with team esprit de corps, individual stress, and the productivity of the meeting.

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  202 Specific Techniques for Specific Digital Channels by rotating the hosting and MC-ing responsibilities, including summaries and emotional feedback. And find ways to strengthen social ties. Rotate who begins the meeting; different participants could begin different meetings by briefly talking about their home culture. Convene group activities for entertainment and fun.

  Remember, like TV, the camera craves emotion. Consistent with authentic behavior, work to exaggerate and make more obvious your emotional reactions to the discussion at hand. The videoconference is not a format that likes understatement and restraint very much. Feed it what it wants. In the same vein, keep ideas, conversations, debates, and discussions as simple as possible, but no simpler. People resent having things dumbed down for them, because it feels like an implicit judgment of their worth to you, but they do appreciate simplicity when it is possible.

  Second, change how you behave. Act like a TV news anchorperson. Look at the camera, smile, and project your personality. Don’t watch the little picture-in-a-picture that is you. You will appear to the other person as if you are not involved, are lacking courage, are acting submissive, or all three. Don’t do it!

  You might stand up, if the setup allows. You will project more authority and energy, and your voice will be stronger if you stand rather than sit.

  Always light your surroundings brighter than seems necessary. Cameras require more light than human eyes to make a scene look naturally lit. You need to invest in good lighting in your space, or you’ll look like you’re talking from the dark side of the moon.

  And rehearse everything. Videoconferencing is harder than it looks. Rehearse what you’re going to say, rehearse how you’re Chapter_09.indd 202

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  going to say it, and rehearse the technology. Try it out the day before you’re going to connect, and the hour before.

  To get all this done, you’ll need help. Get both procedural help (e.g., for taking notes) and technical help (for fixing things that break). Enlisting helpers may seem like the coward’s way out, but it isn’t. You will appreciate the help when the inevitable happens and something does go wrong.

  On the call, provide frequent callbacks and looks ahead. One of the ways you can help all the participants reduce the stress of a videoconference is by reminding people of what they’ve just said and foreshadowing what will come. It will help keep everyone engaged.

  And just as in audioconferences and webinars, always show up early. You need time to check all the technology and get yourself focused on the task ahead.

  Aim the camera down, not up. You should arrange the camera to be above your face, looking down. If you go the other way, the angle can be very unflattering to your face, and you will worry about that rather than paying attention to what’s being said. The same goes for lighting—as I indicated above, you need lots of it.

  For real sophistication—and kindness to your audience—

  arrange and layer your background like a movie set. What image do you wish to convey for yourself and your organization? The background “set” for your conference will go a long way toward showing the participants what your values, beliefs, and conditions are. Dress it up to look like the image you wish to convey.

  Also, create three layers of distance with simple props—near, mid-distance, and far—to create a sense of depth. This trick will lower tension with your fellow participants because it will make you look closer to the screen and reduce the need for them to shout.

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  204 Specific Techniques for Specific Digital Channels Know that you are going to be judged more negatively than you would in person. A meta-analysis of a dozen studies of video job interviews found that people are less favorably regarded over video (and therefore less likely to be hired).4 If there are important business consequences to the meeting, then think about having the meeting in person as a first option. If you are unable to do so, then think about how you can improve the outcome of the meeting in other ways.

  Third, change what you do. Fundamentally, this recommendation means don’t forget to move. You should close in on your own face (while looking at the camera) and use it as you would use your hands to gesture and emphasize key points, provide emotions, and help with clarity. If in doubt, practice by studying news anchors and then in front of a mirror. Like the recommendations for TV, don’t wear loud stripes, checks, or anything else that could be distorted on TV. Solid colors and more conser-vative garb work better than do more outlandish costumes. In sum, dress for success. The single most important thing you do on a videoconference is show up looking like a pro. Too many people just dress in the costume of their tribe—business casual, suit and tie, power suit, or whatever. What can you wear that isn’t freakish but that sets you apart?

  Do you have any nervous tics, verbal or otherwise? If so, it’s time to lose them. The first things to watch your video technique for are the obvious problems and visual idiosyncrasies that could cause the person or people on the other end of the camera to judge you negatively. And those tics will show up more prominently on video to the other person’s brain
because of the impoverishment of other information.

  Do you have an immobile face, thanks to adrenaline? Video yourself, and study the results to see if you lose affect under Chapter_09.indd 204

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  stress (most of us do). If so, compensate by smiling, nodding, and opening your eyes regularly, but not all at once. Are you squinting because of the bright lights so that you look like you’re confronting an unpleasant smell, not an audience of people to wow? It may be a little painful, but keep your eyes open. Otherwise, you will look suspicious or as if you hold your audience in contempt.

  Are you telling a coherent story? With all the stresses of a videoconference, don’t forget to practice what you’re going to say and check it for coherence, interest, and common sense. Then ask, are you emotionally consistent with your message? Or are you thinking several steps ahead, already having moved on in your mind to the next part of the talk? Such a disconnected approach feels emotionally incoherent for the people on the other end of the videoconference. It’s extremely difficult for an audience to understand a story that doesn’t have a clear emotional line that is consistent with the meaning of the story—and one that the speaker connects with, so that the audience can, too.

  In the end, the most important question is, Do you connect with the audience? One interesting thing that video tests is how strong your connection is with the other people on your videoconference. Are you truly having a conversation, or do you engage in monologues? Give your audience time to respond, show that you have listened, and regularly invite participation. And give your audience time to absorb it. Don’t race to get things done.

  Let the others catch up, especially if the language of the meeting is not their primary one.

  Be fully present with the people in the conference. That’s what it all boils down to. To connect with the other participants, you need to be both emotionally present and vulnerable. With people’s shorter attention spans and diminished tolerance for inauthentic behavior, you need to give others something real and Chapter_09.indd 205