by Anna Durand
If I didn't open up to her soon, I'd lose her. She was already upset over my reticence. Here, tonight, I had to take a chance on whether she could understand the things I'd done.
"You're right," I said, slouching into my chair. "I'm sorry. You know I don't have past relationships to tell you about, but there are things I've done. Things I'm not proud of. You might not want to be with me once you know what I'm capable of."
"You're a good man. I don't believe you have ever done anything so bad I can't get past it."
I rubbed the bridge of my nose, making my glasses jump. "I hope that's true."
"Trust me."
Her words, spoken with conviction, made me raise my eyes to look at her. "Do you trust me?"
"Yes, I do."
An odd pain ached behind my ribs. I scrubbed at my chest with the heel of my hand, but the sensation wouldn't go away. "I trust you too, so I'd better tell you everything."
"Take your time. I'm not going anywhere."
I emptied my entire glass of champagne in one swallow. I laid my hands on my lap. Folded my arms over my chest. Rested my elbows on the table. Deep under my skin, an itch started. I couldn't scratch it away. The itch was in my mind, in my soul, and nothing could get rid of it.
Unless...Would telling Keely everything banish the itch?
I loosened my tie and unhooked the top button of my shirt. "I need to start at the beginning. At university, my focus was on electronics, but I dabbled in computer programming. I was approached by a security company that wanted me to test their systems for vulnerabilities. I'd shown an aptitude for finding the holes in software and security systems, and the job paid very well, so I took it. After that, word got around that I was the man to call if you were concerned about your system being compromised. I would ferret out the weaknesses and correct them. I made a good living at it, enough to pay for my education."
"That's amazing. I already knew you're a genius."
Her tender smile made my chest ache again. "That was the start. After university, I tried working for other companies in regular, salaried jobs. I hated it. I'd gone from deciding which projects to take on and doing the work on my own to answering to superiors who knew less than I did. They got their jobs because of connections, not based on merit. Finally, I'd had enough and decided to go out on my own."
"I've been wondering how you got so rich so fast."
"You're about to hear the answer." I reached for my champagne glass, realized it was empty, and grabbed the bottle to slosh more into my glass. When I lifted it to my lips, I noticed Keely watching me with that schoolteacher look. I set the glass down. "Getting drunk won't help, I know. I have never told anyone what I'm about to tell you."
She got up and walked around the table to me. "I get that you're anxious about telling me. It's okay. Nothing you say will change my mind about us."
"You haven't heard it yet."
"Don't need to." She perched her bottom on my lap with her legs draped across my thighs and looped her arms around my neck. "I trust you, so stop worrying and spill your guts."
I did feel a bit like I was slashing my stomach open with a machete. A moment ago, she'd described our one-sided conversation as ripping open old wounds so I could gawp at them. It was my turn to do the same for her. Not that I believed she would gawp. No, Keely would want to heal those wounds, the way I wanted to heal hers.
Sighing, I hooked my arms around her waist. "When I decided to start my own company, I told my cousins about it. Didn't ask for money. I was just talking. We weren't close back then, but they still wanted to help me. I didn't want them to do it because I was afraid I'd lose everything they'd invested, considering that most new businesses fail. Lachlan, Rory, and Iain insisted on giving me the money outright as a gift. They're wealthy and very generous to everyone, not only to me."
"But you're family. They wanted to help you more than they do strangers."
"I didn't understand why at the time. I've never had close family other than my mother."
"You said you played with your cousins when you were a kid."
"Aye, but we weren't close. Most of them were much older than I was." I felt my forehead tighten as I thought back on those days when I'd been the odd boy no one wanted for a friend. "Iain is twenty years older. Lachlan is fourteen years older, and Rory has eleven years on me. They were adults before I reached puberty. Aidan and Jamie were around the same age, so I did spend time with them. I wasn't good at sports, though, and my interest in math and technology didn't appeal to them. It wasn't until last year, when Iain and his new wife made me their project, that things changed. That's when I finally started to understand why my cousins gave me their money and expected nothing in return."
"And what did you realize?"
"Even back then, when I was more of a recluse, I was their family and family is very important to the MacTaggarts."
"They love you. That's why they gave you money."
"And they felt that way even before I made an effort to be a part of the family." I gazed into her green eyes, seeing reflections of the flickering torches in them. "The idea of unconditional love has always confused me. Being with my cousins, being with you, I've realized it makes sense. When you trust the ones you love, you'll do anything for them whether it benefits you or not and no matter what mistakes they might have made. That's why my cousins gifted me with their generosity."
Was that why Keely stayed with me? She'd said she trusted me. Could she be falling in love with me? I had a feeling deep in my chest, a strange kind of pressure that somehow felt good, that made me wonder if I was falling for her.
Her emerald eyes captured my focus, spiraling me down into their spellbinding depths.
No need to wonder. I was falling, and I loved the way it felt.
She laid a hand on my cheek. "Are you okay? Seems like you went somewhere else for a minute."
Maybe I had. I'd never known this kind of love before, and it did feel like I'd been transported to another planet where the usual laws of nature didn't apply and nothing made sense without her beside me. I didn't like going there alone.
At present, she was on top of me. I liked that a lot.
"Iain gave me two hundred thousand pounds," I said. "Rory and Lachlan gave one hundred thousand each. Technically, they each owned one share in the company since I could only accept investments from shareholders. I paid them back three years later, with interest, and bought back their shares. It's what they wanted. Their gifts were enough to give my company a solid start, but when I was almost finished designing and building my first surveillance system, I got an unexpected influx of cash from an angel investor."
"I've heard of those, but I'm not sure how it works."
"An angel investor buys an interest in a new company based on the business owner's proposal. They provide upfront cash, betting they'll earn that money back from the company's dividends. I suppose that makes my cousins angel investors too." I stifled a grunt when Keely wriggled her erse on my lap, and my cock roused again. "My official angel investor insisted on being anonymous, communicating through an investment broker. There was no negotiation of terms, no request for a proposal or to see prototypes of my devices. The money came out of the blue, an offer to provide three-quarters of a million pounds in exchange for a five-percent interest in the company."
"You accepted the offer."
"Seven hundred and fifty million pounds was an unusually large amount for an angel investment. I was going to reject it, but the broker convinced me. The money was more than enough to do anything I wanted with my new business."
"Sounds like there's a 'but' coming."
"There is." I focused on the table while I considered how to explain. Maybe I was delaying because I worried she wouldn't like the rest. "Once the business was up and running, and I had a small but loyal clientele, another broker brought me an offer from another anonymous angel investor. This time, I'd get four hundred thousand pounds."
&
nbsp; "But..."
"The investor wanted a controlling interest in my company."
"You said no."
"Why do you think that?"
"Because it's your company---your baby, your life's work, your reason for living."
I pulled my head back. My reason for living? Did she honestly believe that? I supposed I had acted like it was, but tonight I'd told her she was my priority. When she'd first come back into my life, maybe I'd said or at least implied that my business mattered more to me than anything else. At one time, it had been everything I needed or wanted. Work no longer came first, not since I'd realized how much she meant to me, since I'd forsaken business in order to win her heart. Getting Keely to love me had become my sole purpose in life.
Business had slipped to number two on my list of important things in my life. Maybe it had slipped to three, after my family and the newfound bond I'd forged with my cousins.
"It's not my reason for living anymore," I said, brushing a hair away from her face. "Other things matter more to me these days."
She fidgeted on my lap, her gaze aimed past my shoulder. "Go on with the story, please."
"Not yet." I grasped her chin with one hand and forced her to look at me. "Business isn't the most important part of my life anymore. I told you that earlier, but you still don't believe me."
"I don't want to hear this." She tried to turn her head away, but I wouldn't let go of her chin.
With both hands, I cradled her face and waited until her eyes swerved to mine again. "I abandoned my company and moved here, bought this house, so I could be with you. Because you, Keely O'Shea, matter more to me than anything else in the world."
I couldn't say I loved her yet. She would panic for certain if I did.
And now, all I could do was keep my focus squarely on her beautiful eyes and pray she wouldn't run away from me.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Keely
I couldn't look away from Evan. He wore that earnest expression again, the one that always made me want to cuddle up with him and forget all the reasons why I'd given up on dating and relationships. We were dating. This was a relationship. He vowed I meant more to him than the business he'd devoted all his energy to and spent years building up. A billion-dollar empire, and he'd walked away from it.
No man had ever given up so much to be with me. Nobody had given up much of anything for me, certainly not without making me feel like I'd stolen something from them. For how long would Evan renounce his business? Eventually, he'd go back to work---on another continent, far away from where I lived and worked. All of this brought up another question, one I didn't want to think about tonight.
What would I give up for him?
I tried to get off his lap, but he shackled his arms around my waist again. "Let me go."
"Never."
"Let me get off your lap, that's what I mean."
"Can't do that either." He tugged me closer, our faces inches apart. "I won't let you run away. Not this time."
I smacked my palms on his chest. "Let go of me, Evan."
"There you go with that schoolteacher voice." He slid a hand under my bottom and pulled my right leg over his lap so I straddled him. Both of his big hands coasted up my bare back, eliciting a tingle that swept down my spine and straight between my legs. He nuzzled my nose. "A wild mustang wants to run away, but sometimes she needs to be penned."
"Stop with the horse metaphor, please. I'm not a mustang."
"But you are skittish and used to having your way in a relationship."
A wave of cold gushed through me, lifting every hair on my arms and at my nape. "Are you implying it's my fault every relationship I've had ended in disaster?"
"No, leannan. That's not what I'm saying at all." He roved his hands down my back. "From what I've heard so far, your exes were weak men who resented a strong woman. You had your way because they let you, because they liked being told what to do but resented it at the same time. Even when you tried to change yourself to please them, they resented it. Weak men are often that way. Afraid to go after what they want, so they blame everyone else for their failures."
My mouth opened, but I couldn't summon any words. Evan had described my exes to a tee. How had he known? Oh, I knew the answer. He'd listened to everything I'd said. More than that, his brilliant mind had analyzed the facts, considered the possibilities, and deduced the truth. His ability to understand my life better than I did, to understand me better than anyone ever had, both excited and frightened me.
He tugged closer until my groin rested over his hard-on. "I love your bossiness, and I will never resent you for it. I love your strength and your vulnerability, I love it when you're all business and when you misbehave. You never need to change yourself for me. I want you, Keely, that's all. I want you. Do you believe me?"
"Yes." It was barely a whisper but all that I could manage to say.
"Taming you isn't about making you change who you are to please me. It's about helping you move past the pain other men have caused you."
He was helping me. For the first time in years, I felt like I could be myself with a man, like he wouldn't punish me for it later. Evan would always be honest with me. I knew that. He might've kept secrets, but I believed he had reasons for that and would tell me the truth. If he didn't tell me everything soon, I'd need to reevaluate our relationship.
Just thinking about ending things made me feel cold inside.
"I need your help too," he said. "I've done things I'm not proud of. I told you part of the story about my company, but there's more."
I sealed two fingers over his lips. "Tell me later. Right now, I want to misbehave with you."
A smirk tightened his lips under my fingers. "Misbehave how?"
"In the way where your cock is inside me, thick and hard and hot, and you're making me come like a bomb going off."
"Love to do that." He slipped his hands under the hem of my dress and up to my naked ass. One of his brows rose. "No underwear? I thought you only did that in Paris."
"Why would I need underwear? I'm alone with you tonight."
He moved one hand to my mound, teasing the damp hairs with his fingertips. "Yer already wet."
"I'm perpetually turned on ever since you walked into my life."
"You walked into my life, in point of fact, on the day you first walked into my office."
"Mm-hm. But you flew thousands of miles to barge into my world here in Utah."
He slipped one finger between my folds, petting me casually. "Let's agree we've both invaded each other's lives."
And I loved the way he'd invaded mine, just like I loved the way he invaded my mouth with his tongue and my body with his dick. I rocked my hips to move his fingers closer to my entrance, to make those long and strong fingers stroke me. "Oh Evan, yes."
I fumbled with his jacket and shoved my fingers into his shirt pocket.
"What are ye doing?" he asked, pressing his fingers more firmly against my flesh, whisking them back and forth along my cleft.
"Looking for a condom. You always have one."
"Try the inside pocket."
I thrust my fingers into the inside pocket of his jacket and pulled out a condom packet. "Thank goodness. I can't stand it much longer, not having you inside me."
"Neither can I." He plunged two fingers into my sheath.
A long, low moan escaped my lips. I tore open the button on his slacks and yanked the zipper down, shoving my hand inside to cup his erection and ease it out of his pants. My fingers trembled thanks to the buzz of adrenaline and the wonderful torment of his fingers gliding in and out of me the way I wanted his shaft to do. I ripped the condom packet open with my teeth and rolled it onto his length.
He winced, hissing in a breath.
"Did I hurt you?" I asked.
"No, but I'm fair near to my own bomb going off."
"What would you like me to do?"
He swirled hi
s fingers inside, the motion lazy and wickedly erotic. "Show me your breasts, Keely."
That commanding tone. God, it flooded heat through my entire body. Dizziness spun through me from the staggering need to take him inside me, and I couldn't move, could barely breathe.
"Do it," he said and thrust his fingers deeper.
I gasped.
He dived his fingers deeper to pet a spot that made me squirm and gasp again. "Show me, or I'll do it for you."
I made a hungry noise, somewhere between a grunt and a whimper, and reached behind my nape to untie the bow that held up my halter dress. The long, thin ties fell away. The night air cooled my skin, and my nipples stiffened.
His fingers caressed me deep inside in a way no one else had ever touched me. He lifted his other hand to close it around my breast and flicked his thumb across the nipple, back and forth, until I sucked in a breath and grasped his shoulders. He caught my taut peak between his teeth and tugged. I dug my fingers into his shoulders. He nipped and suckled, blew air over my nipple until I shuddered, and all the while kept moving his fingers inside me.
"More," I breathed. "More, please, more."
He shifted his hand until the heel pressed against my clit even as his long, dexterous fingers caressed me deep inside. The heel of his hand chafed my swollen nub with every stroke of his fingers. The need to climax built inside me like a rubber band stretched to its limits, about to snap any second. I rocked my hips, desperate to take his fingers deeper, to speed up his intimate massage, to reach the limit and blast through it. He kept me on the edge, his mouth tormenting my nipple, his hand kneading my breast. A cry burst out of me when he pushed a third finger inside me.
The rubber band snapped. An orgasm barreled through me, so hot and hard and inescapable that I lost my breath, unable to even moan at the unbridled pleasure of it. I threw my head back, my mouth open, tiny staccato gasps the only sound I could make.