“Fantastic,” I mumbled.
“Anyway, good news. I’m back in town. You’re relieved from your babysitting duties.”
I felt like I was choking to death. “Great.”
“I tried calling Madison but she didn’t answer her phone either. Where is she?”
“Probably still in bed,” I said. It was not a lie. She was still in bed. Mine.
“Can you let her know that I’ll be over later today to pick her up?”
My heart lurched. “Sure thing,”
“Thanks man,” Kevin said, and hung up. I stared at the dead phone in my hand.
“Was that my dad?” Madison asked, her voice uncharacteristically timid.
“Yeah.” I nodded and looked up at her. “He’s back early. He’s coming around to pick you up later today.”
“What?” she exclaimed, her face draining of all color. “Are you kidding me?”
I wished I was. “No.” I shook my head. I felt as if I had lost all the breath in my lungs. I couldn’t give her back to Kevin. The whole thing was such a clusterfuck. I had no clue what to do next, but I wasn’t giving her up for anything.
“I should call him.” She dumped her bagel on the bedside table and stood.
My jaw was clenched tight, but I let her leave my room. I needed to think. To figure out what the fuck had just happened to my life. Not just with the phone call, but the last twelve hours. I had gone from convincing myself I was doing nothing more than a favor to Madison’s father, to taking her on a date, to fucking her, and now to not wanting to give her up.
The feelings I had done so well to ignore slammed into me. There was no sense of decency left in me. I couldn’t believe I’d let this happen, and at the same time, I couldn’t believe it had taken me so damn long to give in to the feelings that seemed so obvious to me now.
I heard Madison on the phone in the next room, and a few moments later she returned with her cell hanging limply from her hand.
“He has to meet someone later and can’t come around, so he’s sending a car over to pick me up now,” she said, her voice hollow.
I stared at her. I swear, I felt as if I had lost my damn mind.
“I can’t believe this. Just when the two of us-”
“I don’t want you to go,” the words tore out of my mouth.
“I don’t want to go either,” she cried desperately. “But we can’t tell him, Quinn. Not yet. I know how he’ll react. He’d freak out and put me on the next plane back to England.”
I stood, knocking all our breakfast to the ground. “No one’s fucking sending you anywhere,” I snarled.
She stared at me in astonishment.
I ran my hand through my hair. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you. I just need a moment.”
She wrapped her arms around her waist. “But the car will be here any minute, and I need to be in it.”
I scowled. “All right, go pack. I’ll sort it out.”
“No,” she blurted out. “Let me sort my father out. No matter how angry he gets with me, he won’t dream of cutting me off, or hurting me. At least he never has.”
I stared at her in shock. If he dared lay a fucking finger on her…
“Let me talk to him first, okay? Please? I swear this is the best way.”
I nodded slowly. Maybe she was right. Maybe it should come from her. She didn’t come to me or try to touch. She just took a deep shuddering breath and turned around back to her bedroom. Fuck I was even thinking of it as her bedroom now.
For a few seconds, I just stood there like an idiot, then I followed her. Standing helplessly in the doorway, I watched her silently put away her things. Her movements were robotic and sometimes her lower lip trembled. My mind whirled. All I wanted to do was grab her and take her one last time, and remind her why she wanted me in the first place. She had to go, and there was nothing I could do to keep her with me. Well, there were things I could do, but kidnap was still illegal in California. I had to respect her wishes She wanted to tell her father herself. And I wasn’t going to be the one to break the news to him without her permission.
The car arrived and I walked her out. It felt odd, being out in the real world with her. Everything felt different. Could what I was feeling be wrong. Was I just a dirty old man perving over a pretty young thing old enough to be my daughter. The idea irked me. I gave her bags to the driver who stuffed them into the trunk.
Madison turned and looked at me, her eyes wide and glossy as if she was about to cry. “Bye, Quinn.”
The blood roared in my ears. I wanted to grab her, kiss her, and tell her everything was going to be all right, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to let her go if I put my arms around her. I clenched my fists. “Bye.” My voice sounded harsh and angry.
She paused for a moment, as though waiting for me to touch her, then she shook her head, and stepped away. I closed the door shut after she entered the vehicle. I had forced myself to stand still and not call out to the moving car, but in a few seconds, she was gone.
I was left standing alone on my driveway.
17
Madison
I had to bite back tears when I saw Quinn’s tall figure disappear out of sight as the car took a left. It wasn’t fair. None of it was. I had waited my whole life for him and we were only just getting started. For the first time, I got him to notice me. Okay, I did throw myself at him in a spectacular fashion, but he wouldn’t have slept with me if he wasn’t interested. I felt wracked with longing. How I wished for just another day together to confirm what he felt for me was real and true.
Maybe I should have let Quinn come with me, let him confront Dad the way he wanted to. The idea played in my mind. It was highly tempting, but I knew Dad wouldn’t forgive Quinn for this. As far as he was concerned I was still a kid. Even the idea of me as a sexual being would scare the living daylights out of him. He would automatically paint Quinn as the aggressor and assume he’d seduced me. No, I’d have to bring him around to the idea slowly. Step by step.
The car pulled up outside Dad’s house, and the driver helped get my bags from the boot, and pull them up to the house. He glanced at me with a sympathetic expression on his face, and I realized I must have looked pretty damn miserable if even he felt pity for me. While I fumbled in my purse for my keys Dad yanked the door open with a big happy grin on his face. He held his arms out and I walked into them.
For a while I just stayed inside the warm circle of my father’s arms, soothed by the familiar smell of his aftershave. When I was young, I used to sit on my father’s shoulders and think he could solve all my problems.
“It’s so good to see you,” he said.
“Same here,” I mumbled into his shoulder. Yes, I was sad at leaving Quinn behind, but I truly loved my father, and I never got to spend enough time with him so every moment with him was precious to me. This wasn’t the first time he had blown me off for work. I wasn’t sure why it still surprised me by this time. I pushed that nasty little observation to the back of my head as he pulled away from me. I could see he looked tired. There were shadows under his eyes. He took my bags and led me into the house.
“Did you have a good time at Quinn’s?” he asked.
I nodded, trying to push the memory of the night before from my mind. The way Quinn had looked when he came, the feeling of him inside of me, the way he slept with his nose nuzzled in my hair. The delicious smell of him. The way he had roared, “No one’s fucking sending you anywhere.”
“Yeah, it was good.” I shrugged, and tried to sound nonchalant. “Thanks for the birthday meal. We had a nice time. The food was great.”
“Better than your usual student fare, eh?” He raised his eyebrows at me and looked pleased with himself. “I’m glad you had a good time. I bought a birthday present for you.
“Really?”
“Yeah, it’s upstairs, actually. I got it on the way back.”
He smiled proudly, and I instantly felt a pang of sadness. Dad had never really been aroun
d much at my birthdays, and he usually just put money into my account. His phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out, holding his finger up to me. He looked at the screen and pulled a face at me.
“Sorry, honey, this is work. I have to take it,” he said as he took the call.
I turned my back on him and headed for the stairs. Anger pulsed through my veins. I couldn’t believe I’d fallen for his crap again. What was the point of coming back early? All this time I had spent waiting around for him, hoping he would find a minute to talk to me. Instead he takes another call from one of his work buddies.
For the love of God, I flew halfway around the world to spend some time with him. Surely it wasn’t asking a lot for him to put his work on the back burner for a day or two, but, of course, he couldn’t manage that. Not for me, anyway. I could easily have stayed at Quinn’s another hour or two, and I doubted he would even have noticed.
When I reached the top of the stairs, I saw it at once: my present. It was pretty impossible to miss, considering it took up most of the landing.
A teddy bear, at least five feet tall sat propped up against the wall. If I had stood it up, it would have towered over me. I didn’t even know they made bears that big. It reached out toward me with a frozen grin and outstretched paws as big as my head. I stared at it for a moment, not sure how to react.
A) How the hell had he gotten this giant on a plane?
B) And what did he expect me to do with it? It certainly wasn’t going to fit into my luggage. I’d have to buy a separate ticket, and even if I did manage to get it back, there’d be no space left in my room to fit me after I put this thing into it.
Then I became furious. It felt as though my blood would boil over. I glared at the bear angrily. It was the perfect example of the way my father thought of and treated me. No doubt, he imagined he was doing a nice thing, but the truth was he didn’t give buying me a present any proper thought. No wonder he always sent cash. He didn’t have to take the time to wonder if it was age appropriate, would fit into my life, or if I actually wanted it at all. Giving me presents made him feel less guilty and that was all that mattered.
As I stood there staring at the awful thing I could vaguely hear him finishing up his call downstairs, laughing loudly at something the man on the other end of the line had said, and make no mistake, it was always a man.
I heard his footsteps coming up the stairs, and turned. He grinned and nodded at the bear. “You won’t believe how much trouble I had getting it here.”
“Dad, I…” I trailed off.
His smile faltered. “Just say you like it.”
My anger died down. I hated to hurt him. I turned back to look at the bear and tried desperately to find something polite to say to him.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“I don’t even know how I’m going to get this thing home.”
His face darkened, and I could tell I’d picked the wrong time to have this conversation.
“Can’t you just thank me for it?” he snapped.
I furrowed my brow. “I wasn’t trying to be ungrateful-”
“Well, that’s how it came across.”
“I’m twenty, Dad,” I replied gently.
He frowned and I had opened my mouth to continue when his phone rang again. He pulled it out of his pocket, looked at it, and sighed. “Give me a minute. I have to take this call.”
I stared at his back sadly as he made his way down the stairs. Story of my life. When he closed his study door, I turned away and started for my room. As I passed the window by the landing I saw a figure making its way up the path toward the house.
My heart flipped. Quinn!
He was a godsend.
18
Madison
I turned around and ran down the stairs. I flew across the hallway, and before he could ring the doorbell, I flung open the front door and threw myself at him. His eyes widened with surprise as I wrapped my arms around his neck.
“I’m sorry, I just couldn’t stay awa-”
Before he had a chance to finish, I kissed him. Right on the mouth. Cutting him off mid-word. His hands snaked around my back and he drew me close, until his body pressed tight against mine. His mouth devoured me. His tongue slipped past my lips and I abandoned myself to the sensations that only Quinn could make me feel.
Oh, Quinn, Quinn, Quinn.
I needed him more than I’ve ever needed anyone in my life.
I’m head over heels in love with this man.
We had only been apart less than an hour, and yet it felt as though we were making up for a lifetime of separation. It felt like someone had set off fireworks inside my head. I was so lost to him I didn’t hear the study door open behind us. There was no chance to jump apart when my father’s enraged, horrified voice thundered between the two of us.
“Quinn?”
Quinn pulled away from my lips at once, but his hand still remained curled possessively around my waist. My father’s incredulous eyes noted that.
“Kevin,” Quinn replied slowly, his tone soothing, as if he was taming a wild animal. “I need to talk to you…”
“Talk to me? Are you mad? What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Dad roared, storming toward us. He pushed us apart so forcefully I stumbled and nearly fell.
“Hey, don’t take this out on her!” Quinn protested angrily, as his hand shot out to steady me before my head could hit the door frame.
“I can’t believe you’d do this, you little piece of shit,” Dad stormed. “You took advantage of my daughter.” Dad lifted his phone and hit a button. “There is an intruder in my house,” he said into it. I understood instantly that he was talking to the security guards at the gatehouse. He turned on Quinn, his voice low and harsh. “I trusted you and sent her to stay with you, and you took advantage of her.”
“Kevin, it wasn’t like that-”
“Don’t you tell me how it was!” Dad exclaimed angrily. “She’s a kid, Quinn. My kid.”
I couldn’t just stand back and let my father make him out to be some sort of predator. “I’m twenty, Dad. I’m not a kid. No matter how many teddy bears you buy for me,” I said.
“You’re not a part of this conversation,” Dad screamed. “Go to your room now. I’ll deal with you later.” He was so angry, he almost frothed.
I reeled and stepped back. He had never spoken to me like that in my life, not even when I found a tin of blue paint, poured it in his bed and carefully placed his duvet over it. Not only was he covered in blue paint, but he had to order a new mattress the next day.
“Kevin, this isn’t how I wanted to break the news to you, but it’s not what you think. I’m not taking advantage of Madison.” Quinn held his hand out toward my father in an imploring gesture. “I have feelings for her. I want to make something of this.”
My father’s eyes bulged out of his head. “You have feelings for her. What the fuck is the matter with you? You’re old enough to be her father, you pervert,” he bellowed. His face was red with anger, and he looked like he could bust a gut.
But none of that mattered to me. Because: Oh. My. God! Quinn felt the same way I did.
My heart felt as if it would explode into a million dancing pieces of happiness as soon as I heard those words fall from his mouth. I knew then everything would to be all right. “Dad,” I called.
My father didn’t even turn toward me. “Go to your fucking room now. Don’t make me tell you again.”
Quinn turned to me. “Stay out of this, Madison.”
At his words my father’s face deepened to a hue of red I’d never seen before. His jaw clenched, his posture stiffened, and quick as a cat, he swung his fist and slammed it hard into Quinn’s jaw.
“Fuck!” Quinn swore, as he stumbled, his head snapping to the side. The pain made him grimace, but he straightened instantly and met Dad’s gaze. He spread his hands out. “I know you’re-”
Pow! Another blow. A right hook this time.
I slapped my
hand over my mouth to keep from crying out.
Outside, I could see the security detail pounding up the driveway. They would be upon us in minutes, but I didn’t know how to stop the inevitable. I felt completely and totally helpless. Quinn would get the shit kicked out of him, and it was all because of me. Tears poured down my face.
“Dad!” I shouted desperately. “It’s not his fault. I seduced him, I wanted him, I pushed for this, Quinn didn’t want it, but I forced myself on him,” I screamed desperately, but no one took any notice.
Using the wall to steady himself Quinn pulled himself upright. He ran his tongue along his bleeding lower lip as he tried to focus on Dad. I could tell he was hurt. Dad’s a big guy too, and packs quite a punch.
“Kevin, if we could just talk about-”
Before Quinn could even get another word out, the security detail was on him, landing blow after blow on him, so fast their flying fists were a blur of violence. The dull thud of testosterone fueled male skin connecting with outnumbered skin made me feel almost temporarily insane with fear and dread. Every cell in my body screamed at the wrongness of what was happening. I felt sick to see Quinn crumpling to the ground, not saying a word, determined to take any punishment he had to in order to atone for what the two of us had done together. What I had made him do.
It couldn’t have gone on for more than ten seconds before I found myself screaming and lunging forward. My mind felt like it was on fire. My only thought was I had to stop them from killing Quinn.
I was silenced suddenly, as one of the fists flying toward Quinn flailed out in my direction. The blow that caught me wasn’t nearly as hard as the ones that had been powering down on Quinn, but I saw stars and it was enough to send me flying backward.
“Madison!” Quinn howled.
I landed on the floor with a jolt of pain. Suddenly, Quinn pulled himself back to his feet shoving off the men hurting him as though they were nothing more than irritating insects, he strode over to me. Shaken and voiceless, I lay on my back and stared up at him. I could already see red bruises starting to appear on his head and neck. Dizzily, I rose up on my elbow and tried to focus on his face.
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