by J. Emery
"West, I don't want you to give up your family for me."
"God, you're still so full of yourself." He laughed. "I'm not choosing you over them. I'm choosing me. They do nothing but make me feel like I'm wrong. About everything. I'm not doing that anymore. And I know it's too late and I screwed everything up between us but—"
"Who said that? I didn't say that." Noah cleared his throat. "We can try again. I haven't stopped thinking of you since the day we met. I tried and I can't. You're in every one of my dreams whether I want you there or not. You're my ghost. So, if you want me, I'm yours, but," he began, tension thrumming in every inch of his body, "I can't take a repeat, West. If you don't want it you have to tell me. It's better than the alternative."
"I want you." West hesitated. But he'd already said it once. He could say it one more time. "I love you."
Noah stiffened, a flash of panic crossing his face before he shook it away. He made a hungry noise. "Say that again."
"I love you."
Noah smiled shakily. "Well shit. That's... well, honestly that's really fucking good because I've been in love with you for months. I didn't think I was ever going to get to tell you."
"How many months?" West grinned impishly, lighter than he'd felt in weeks.
"I don't think I should tell you. You'll only use it against me."
"That long, huh?"
A ghost of the old smile flitted over Noah's lips. "I can neither confirm nor deny. But yes. That long." He hugged West to him. "Is this real?"
Good question.
Noah's head bounced off the door at his back as West crashed into him, his startled laugh swallowed by West's hungry kiss. He had never wanted anything this bad. He could have kissed Noah forever. His hands moved up into Noah's hair, fists clenching as he held them together. "Feels pretty real."
"I swore I wasn't going to do that," he said in a low voice. He still held the back of West's neck with the gentlest touch.
"You can blame me if it makes you feel better."
"A little." He leaned in and stopped. "You might still need to remind me that you don't hate me. From time to time."
"I can do that."
"Not too often."
West kissed him, trying to put everything into it, everything he'd been holding back, everything he wanted Noah to feel.
"Shit, I missed you." Noah's hands explored him, running down his arms and back and cupping West's jaw. He lifted his face so he could kiss West again.
"I missed you too." His head rested on Noah's shoulder. "I should probably apologize for making a mess in the middle of your show while I'm at it. I know this was a big deal for you."
Noah scoffed. "You kidding? They were probably eating that shit up. Might even net me another sale if I'm lucky. Everybody loves drama." He sobered suddenly. "You might want to sneak out the back though. People," he said by way of explanation. "They stare."
West reached up to kiss him one more time. Bracing himself. He could do this. More importantly, he wanted to do it. "Actually, I thought you might show me around the gallery."
"What for? You've seen it already."
"But I didn't see it with you."
Noah fell back against the door. "Fuck, sweetheart. You can't just spring romantic shit like that on me. My heart might explode."
West pressed a hand to his chest. "Feels all right to me." He pulled Noah upright with him, twining their fingers together. "Now come give me the tour. I promised Charlotte some good gossip. If I don't provide, the penalty is a week's worth of pizza and gelato."
"I knew I liked your sister," Noah said as West led him out the door and towards the gallery floor.
Epilogue
Everything was wedding bells. For Eli anyway.
Noah had never seen his brother emoting so happily. At his side, Meryl was fireworks made flesh, all sparkles and smiles as she spun through the day wrapped in a white lace gown like a princess who sang duets with birds. The two of them sitting at the head of the room looking like a real-life fairytale. It was almost enough to make Noah forget the noise and friction of so many unfamiliar people crammed into a banquet hall around him. He couldn't tell any of Meryl's family apart. There were too many.
He had a tension headache after the first hour of the wedding reception but melting into the crowd with his camera helped temper it. People only came in two varieties when he had a camera in his hands: those who were happy to see him and those that ran. He liked things that clear-cut.
Noah stood near the bustling bar for cover, sneaking blackmail shots of Liam on the dance floor. He wasn't a bad dancer. Noah was actually rather impressed with his brother's sense of rhythm. But that didn't mean he couldn't find some nefarious uses for the pictures later on. Blackmail never went out of style. As he raised the camera for another bit of evidence, the view went dark.
West's hand covered the lens. "What are you doing?"
Weddings might be high on the list of things that gave him hives, receptions a cornucopia of attention span destroying stimulation, but West was still easy to focus on. Noah would go to a dozen more weddings if it meant he got to see West poured into a suit. He'd left his hair down, the silky brown strands brushing the broad shoulders of his navy suit, and his vicious mouth was set in that half smile that made him look like a capricious god. Noah had never seen anything more perfect.
"Well, I was working until you ruined my shot. There'll be a penalty for that."
West folded his arms over his chest and cocked his head, a suspicious look in his eye. "Which is?" Noah opened his mouth and he held up a hand. "Wait. Don't answer that. I already know what you're going to say."
"You're no fun."
"You didn't say that last night."
"I wasn't wearing a suit and tie last night. It makes me cranky." Eli had let them choose their own ties at least so Noah had gotten the most obnoxiously pink floral tie he could find in protest. If he had to wear a tie it wasn't going to be any of that austere stripes or subdued tone on tone paisley bullshit. It had to scream. Plus pink was his color.
"I don't know. I'll be a little sorry to see the suit go. You look good today." West grinned and traced a teasing finger down his tie. The touch set off flashbacks to the unexpectedly erotic experience that was half Windsor knots. Standing chest to chest while West manhandled him never got old.
Noah shook the memories off with regret. "Excuse you. I look good every day."
"You're so vain." West could only fight his smile for a second before it broke through the mock frown. "I love you."
A fist squeezed tight around Noah's heart and he groaned. Hearing that never got old either.
He snuck a peek around before he took West by the lapels and pulled him in for a kiss. There was still only so much public displaying West could handle before he started to get cagey about it. The trick was to ration it out. Noah had been good for the last few hours, biding his time until now, but this was an occasion that demanded kissing. It needed firm hands and just a little tongue. When he drew back, West's face glowed faintly pink. But he didn't move away. He stayed in the embrace, staring into Noah's eyes like the moment could last forever.
If only.
His boyfriend. His love. Noah really liked the sound of that.
He brushed West's hair back from his cheek.
Before he could do more there was the sound of conspicuous throat clearing nearby. To his credit, West stiffened but didn't flee. Noah let him go with regret. Then he glared at Liam. "What? We were having a moment."
"I could see that. But I thought you should know Aunt Ev is looking for you."
"What? Nooooo," he groaned. He sank halfway to his knees before he remembered that his suit was a rental and straightened up again. "Are you fucking kidding me?"
"Sadly no."
West looked between the two of them and frowned. "I don't want to know, do I?"
"Probably not," Liam agreed. Then he looked off to one side. "Better hurry."
Noah grabbed West's hand and
towed him along as he fled. "Don't look back, sweetheart. She can sense fear."
They spent the next hour dodging family from both sides and not nearly enough time groping in the coat room. Or any time actually. Each time Noah suggested it, West shot him down with a cryptic "wait until later."
There was cake and dancing and only a manageable amount of anxiety buzzing in his veins, just enough to feel a little exciting. Like bubbles. And there was West. Holding his hand. Whispering in his ear. Laughing. And occasionally scolding him. The way his nose wrinkled up when he was annoyed really was Noah's favorite.
So yeah. Maybe weddings weren't so bad after all.
He said as much in the car on the way home. West drove because he'd offered and because Noah hadn't been sure if he would be sober enough to do so.
"My family likes you. My mom even said to bring you to dinner sometime," Noah said, head lolling back against the seat. He'd only had one glass of champagne but now that the adrenaline was ebbing, he felt dizzy and as unbound as if he'd had more. Delayed drunkenness might have its benefits.
"That's nice of her." The words came out with a robotic edge.
"Still haven't spoken to yours?" Noah guessed.
"Nope. And I don't intend to in the foreseeable future."
West had eventually explained the rest of the family history that had knocked him into a tailspin and the current state of said family affairs. Getting information out of him was still like pulling teeth with a slippery weasel, but he was slowly getting better about it. Noah was reasonably certain he'd gotten the important highlights. Complicated family relationships were one thing he understood all too well.
"I'm sorry, sweetheart."
"Don't be. It's not your fault. It was them. And me." He sighed. "And it was a long time coming."
"Still." He took West's hand and brushed a kiss over his knuckles.
The look West shot him was soft and warm as a blueberry muffin fresh from the oven. "I think I got the better end of the deal."
"Keep looking at me like that and you're going to get very fucked too." Noah slid a casual hand up his thigh before it was slapped away.
"Behave."
"I am behaving."
West didn't answer except to scoff before turning his attention back to the road.
Noah contented himself with watching West's face slip in and out of the glow of passing streetlights, going green and orange and deep blue in turn. Focused on driving, his mouth had drifted back into its resting frown. His hair fluttered in the breeze from the open window. "God, you're beautiful." Noah hadn't meant to say it out loud.
"Are you drunk? Because I had plans."
"I'm devastatingly sober, thank you very much. I'm just admiring you. And what plans? I thought we were going home. Your home," he amended. West's apartment was also a relatively new commodity. He'd only been once and they'd left almost as quickly as they'd arrived, but Noah was fine with taking it slow in that regard. He knew where everything was at his apartment and he'd never slept well in other people's spaces. "What plans?"
His smile was sinister when the next streetlight caught it, but he didn't say another word.
West parked and led the way up to his dark apartment, barely waiting for Noah to follow him inside before he slammed the door. The lock turned over with a snap. Noah laughed. "Worried I'll run away?"
"Safety first."
West pounced while he was still coming up with a response to that. He was a continual surprise. He kissed like he was starving, steering Noah backwards with hands on his hips until they connected with something solid. Noah's head bumped against it but he didn't mind when West was draped over him, nibbling at his lips in between kisses, tongue delving into his mouth.
Something clicked. West smiled against his lips. "I told you I had plans," he whispered.
Noah nodded, too busy chasing after West's retreating mouth with his own to understand the words and what they meant until something dug into his wrist. Both wrists. They were captured behind him, the thing at his back some kind of column or pole. Noah angled his head but he couldn't see much back there. He knew the feel though. "So that's where my handcuffs went. I thought I lost them under the bed."
"You probably did," West said, still standing just out of reach. His voice dropped lower. "Because these ones? Are mine."
"You sneaky little bitch." His laughter bubbled over. The need to touch West was so sharp it hurt. "I love you so damn much."
West put a hand on his chest and shoved him back into the pole, holding him there. Fingers brushed Noah's stomach as West undid his belt. He was already breathing fast, lips parted, slick where he'd licked them. In the moonlight, his eyes looked endless. "Then let me know when it feels good," he said as he got on his knees.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
J. Emery is slowly writing their way through every fantasy trope imaginable. And if they can make it weirder and queerer while they do, that’s even better as far as they’re concerned.
They spend their free time watching anime, gaming, and drinking large quantities of tea, occasionally all at the same time. They have also been known to document their ridiculous levels of terror while watching horror movies on twitter as @mixeduppainter. Sometimes they even discuss upcoming projects.
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Also by J. Emery
7 Caged Tigers
Frostbite
Ashveil Academy
Help Wanted
Standalone
An Offering of Plums
Forgotten Monster
Freedom in Falling (Coming Soon)
Chosen. Again. (Coming Soon)