Be Brave With Me

by J. B. Havens

  “Drew . . .” I gasp his name, moans and sharp cries of pleasure pouring from my mouth. I lock my legs around his waist, using my thighs to ride him harder, faster. He’s panting along with me now, sweat beaded on our skin, running down and mingling together.

  He reclines and pushes my legs to either side of his hips, so I’m kneeling over him. He holds his hands up and I meet him halfway, interlacing our fingers as I push us faster and higher. My hair is falling out of its bun, cascading down my back in a dark wave. Looking down, I stare into his eyes, noticing he still has his glasses on. Smiling, I twist my hips a little, loving the power my body has over him as it wrings a gasp from his lips.

  I’m getting close again, I’m even wetter, the sounds of our bodies loud in the room.

  “That’s it, darlin’. Come for me. Come again.”

  I snap my hips back and forth, harder and faster. My clit is rubbing against his pelvis with each movement, jolts of pleasure shooting through my veins.

  “Come with me,” I plead. He shuts his eyes and throws back his head, the cords in his neck standing out. I’m almost there. I don’t want to go alone. “Now, baby.” I scream as I come again, the orgasm knocking the breath from my lungs. I gasp for air, my hips still moving, wringing out every ounce of pleasure I can. Drew groans deeply, stiffening under me, and grabs my hips with both hands. He thrusts up and into me, finding his own release. He sits up, wrapping both hands around my back, holding me tightly against his chest. He rests his head against my neck and shoulder, breathing raggedly. Our bodies are still joined, even though I can feel him soften slightly inside me. I don’t want to move, I want to stay joined with him. I kiss his cheek and he smiles at me softly.

  “You said I was magnificent.” I tuck his hair back, and it falls forward again immediately.

  “And so you are.” He kisses my shoulder lightly before shifting me to the side and off him. I watch as he stands and grabs a crutch I hadn’t noticed from the corner to go into the bathroom. He returns with a warm washcloth and proceeds to clean us both.

  “With compliments like that, I don’t think I’m ever going to let you out of this bed.”

  “Fine with me, darlin’.” He tosses the washcloth to the side and slides back up into the bed. He pats his side, silently asking me to join him. Laying my head on his chest, my leg resting carefully against his, I sigh in contentment.

  “What are you thinking?” he asks carefully.

  “That I feel content. Here. With you. Also, that you’re amazing in bed.”

  He laughs and pulls me closer, kissing the top of my head. He plays with my hair, sliding the long strands through his fingers, over and over. “I love your hair. It’s so beautiful. Like it’s your crown.”

  I stiffen slightly before I can stop myself.

  “What?” He asks cautiously. “What did I say?”

  “Drew, it’s okay. Really. You didn’t upset me. It’s just, he used to say that too. I don’t . . .” I sigh, feeling like an asshole. “I don’t want to think of him right now, not when I’m here with you.”

  “Darlin’, you’re going to think of him. It’s natural. You’ll probably compare us, too. Which is normal. I’m not going to try and erase him from your heart. The time you had with him made you into the woman you are today. I would never take that from you. So, while I’m not thrilled to have his ghost in our bed, I do understand that it’s going to take time.”

  Lifting myself up to look at him, I cup his cheek in my palm. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I’m glad I found you.”

  “Me too, darlin’, me too.” He kisses me softly and pulls me back down beside him, holding me close and playing with my hair until I fall asleep. For the first time in months, I sleep deeply and peacefully.

  Chapter 16

  Meg

  I wake slowly. I’m warm, too warm. Grunting, I try to roll over, but something has my hair trapped. “Wha?” I mutter, jerking the hair free with my hand. I flop over onto my side and my bare breasts touching my arm remind me I’m naked. I open my eyes slowly and Drew’s room appears before me. Turning my head, I see the reason I’m feeling hot.

  Drew.

  He’s asleep on his back, his arm flung out where I must have lain next to him. No wonder my hair was trapped under us. I roll over, propping my head on my hand to watch him. His chest rises and falls steadily, on each exhale a soft snore escapes his lips. It’s adorable, not that I would tell him that.

  I hadn’t gotten much of a chance to study him last night; it was dark and I had other things on my mind. His chest and arms are ripped with muscles. It’s obvious he takes good care of himself. He has a little chest hair dusted across his pecs and down his stomach in a line. I trace it with my finger, dragging my nail down and under the edge of the sheet covering his hips.

  “If this is how you’re gonna wake me up every mornin’, you’re movin’ in,” Drew mumbles, his eyes still closed.

  Laughing, I release my prize, giggling at the glare he shoots me out of one open eye.

  “Good morning.” I peck him on the cheek.

  “Tease,” he grumbles, rolling over and taking me with him so I’m trapped half way under his big body.

  I tap his shoulder. “Drew.”

  Nothing.

  “Baby, I need to get up.”

  “No,” he growls, tightening his arms around me.

  “While this is cute and all, I need to use the bathroom.”

  “Fine. If you must.” He releases me and I wiggle free. “I could get used to this view.”

  Looking back, I find him staring at me. I shake my ass at him and hightail it to the bathroom. After I take care of the necessities, I pull open the glass door to the large standing shower, tiled in blue sea glass. There’s a built-in bench at the back, which makes perfect sense for Drew. I sniff at my skin and grimace. I smell like sex and sweat. I don’t have clean clothes to change into, but a shower is definitely in order.

  Turning on the faucet, I adjust the temperature to my liking and step in, closing the shower door behind me.

  I run my hands along my hair as the water pours over me. I let my mind drift as I wash. The guilt is there, just as I knew it would be. The morning after is always tricky to navigate. Add in a dead girlfriend, husband, and baby, and it becomes a minefield of emotions. I run my fingers across my stomach, tracing the area where my child had once grown. I would always be empty there. Brandon’s face appears in my mind, the edges fuzzy. I can’t quite remember a clear picture anymore. He’s fading away. Tears well in my eyes and spill over, hot against my cheeks. What have I done? A sob escapes. I try to swallow the sound but fail miserably.

  “Meg?” Drew’s voice startles me. I’d been so lost in my misery I hadn’t heard him come in. He takes one look at my face through the glass and his expression breaks. He slides open the door, and using a bar on the wall, hops into the shower and sits on the bench. “Come here.”

  I sit sideways on his lap, letting the water wash away the tears that won’t stop falling.

  “Darlin’, it’s okay.” He rubs my back in slow circles.

  “No, it’s not,” I mumble against his chest.

  He tips my chin up and looks into my eyes. “Yes. It is. I know what you’re feelin’ because I’ve been there. Guilt, right? You’re thinkin’, how could I do this to him? How could I betray his memory by bein’ with someone else? Bein’ with someone else and lovin’ how good it feels?”

  I nod, unable to speak past the lump in my throat.

  “I once swore I’d love Abby, and only Abby, until the day I died. And I will. Just as you’ll always love Brandon. But, sweetheart, there’s no limit on the amount of love you can feel. There’s always room for more in your heart.”

  I hiccup, my tears finally slowing. “H-how do you know?”

  “Neither one of us is ready for that answer yet.” He kisses me gently and pats my hip. “Hop up; let’s finish showerin’ and get dressed. I’m starvin’.”

 
; Chapter 17

  Drew

  Meg had gone over to her room to get clean clothes, leaving him with a few minutes to himself. Leaning on his crutch, he dried off and went into his bedroom to put his leg on and dress. Looking at his stump before he slid the sock onto it, he remembered last night. Meg had seen him in a way no one ever had. She didn’t see his missing leg as anything other than a part of who he was. She wasn’t disgusted or turned off by it. She seemed to accept it and didn’t treat him like he was disabled. He might be missing a leg, but there was very little he couldn’t do just as well as before he lost it. If he hadn’t spiraled down into depression and self-loathing, he might have still played some type of sport.

  Dressing in jeans and his customary T-shirt, he ran a comb through his hair and put his other shoe on. The left shoe was usually kept on his prosthesis. No sense in taking it on and off every day.

  Last night had been the best sex he’d ever had—just thinking about it made him want her again. And again. If he had anything to say about it, they’d do it again this afternoon and maybe this evening too. He knew it was dangerous—too much, too soon; both of them were broken inside. He didn’t want to be cautious or careful, though. He wanted to hold her hand and leap with her into the unknown. He’d spent the last sixteen years surviving, now he wanted to live.

  After starting the coffee, he opened his fridge and winced at the empty shelves. At least he had eggs and bread. Grabbing the ingredients he needed, he began making them breakfast. He looked up and smiled when the door opened behind him. Meg came in with her hair still wet, wearing simple yoga pants and a baggy, lightweight sweater.

  “You’re making me breakfast?” she asked with something like awe in her voice.

  “You have to eat, right? Plus, I didn’t really feel like dealin’ with the stares at the diner this mornin’.” Grabbing her around the waist, he pulled her close and buried his face in her neck. “You smell wonderful. Maybe I’ll skip breakfast and just have you instead.” She giggled and squealed when he blew a raspberry on her neck. Patting her ass, he pushed her down into a chair at the small two-seater table tucked against the wall in his kitchen.

  “You’re bad.” She laughed, her smile so bright it lit up his world.

  “And you’re trouble.” He turned back to the stove, scrambling eggs and buttering toast.

  “You like it.” She winked and pinched his ass.

  He jumped and glared at her over his shoulder. “You’re askin’ for it, woman.” He poured her a cup of coffee and handed it over. “Milk’s in the fridge, sugar is in the bowl there on the table.”

  “Thanks. This is so domestic.” Taking a sip of her coffee, she hummed in pleasure.

  “It’s nice. I’ve never done this before, so it’s new territory for me.” Turning off the stove, he plated their food and brought it to the table.

  “What do you mean? Made a woman breakfast or had a woman overnight in your . . . I guess this is an apartment, not a room?” She gestured to the area around them with her fork.

  “Both. I’ve never brought a woman here. Or made anyone breakfast.”

  “I’m kind of surprised.” She took a big bite of eggs, her eyes widening. “Drew, this is amazing.”

  Chuckling, he took a bite and found he agreed with her. “Why are you surprised?”

  “That you can cook or that you never had a woman here?”

  “Both.” He picked up his coffee while he ate with the other hand. He didn’t want her to see how nervous he was. This was so strange. He wasn’t used to having someone in his space. Even Nana didn’t come in here often.

  “You’re a southern boy. I’m not at all surprised you can cook. As for the other, I figured a hunk of man like you has had a string of lovers.”

  He nodded, understanding what she was getting at. “Sure, I’ve had a few. I’m not proud to admit it, either. They were women I picked up at bars after fights for the most part. I never brought them here. This place has always been just mine. I never wanted to share this with anyone. Especially a woman whose name I wasn’t going to remember the next day.”

  “Well . . .” she began then stopped.

  He noticed she did that a lot. She took a moment to gather her thoughts before speaking. He was also discovering it meant he needed to listen.

  She looked him in the eyes, her own a little shiny. “Drew, thanks for having me here with you. Thanks for sharing your space with me. I don’t know exactly what’s happening with us, but I like it, even though it scares the crap out of me.”

  He laughed softly, reaching out and grasping her hand. Her fingers felt so small and delicate in his. “You don’t have to thank me, darlin’. Just keep doin’ you and I’ll just keep doin’ you. We’ll be just fine.” He winked, trying to break the tension that was suddenly thick in the air.

  She pointed her fork at him. “I see what you did there. Smooth.”

  He shrugged. “I try.” Taking their now empty plates to the sink, he leaned back against the counter and crossed his arms. “So, I don’t have to work today. Tomorrow, I’m gonna be pretty busy, between the shop and practice, but today I’d like to take you somewhere and have some fun. Ever been kayakin’?”

  “Practice? Kayaking? What?”

  “I help coach the high school football team. But never mind that right now. Kayakin’, have you ever been?”

  “Can’t say that I have.”

  He grinned, already anticipating the fun they were about to have. “Well, go grab an extra change of clothes, just in case, and I’ll get our stuff ready.”

  She looked at him with suspicion but went along with it. “All right, but if you dunk me in a lake or river or some crap, I’m gonna be pissed.”

  Taking her hand, he tugged her to her feet, stealing a kiss that tasted of coffee and her. “Mmm.” He groaned against her mouth. “I don’t plan on either of us gettin’ in the water. While I can swim, I don’t really want to spend the rest of the day cleanin’ my leg.”

  “Oh,” she said against his mouth. “I didn’t think of that.”

  Surprised, he pulled back slightly to get a better look at her. “You forgot?”

  “Well, yeah.” She tilted her head to the side, her hair falling around her shoulders. “Of course I’m aware you have a prosthesis, but it’s not something that seems to limit you in any way. I just forgot for a second.”

  He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat and rested his forehead against hers. She didn’t realize the gift she’d just given him. He felt more like a man in that moment than he had in a long time. “You’re amazin’.” He kissed her deeply, holding her tight against his chest.

  She pulled back, touching his face lightly. “If you say so.” She stepped out of his embrace. “I’ll go grab that change of clothes. Be right back.”

  He watched her leave, frozen where he stood. What the hell had he done to deserve her? Clenching his jaw, he decided then and there, he was going to do whatever it took to keep her.

  Chapter 18

  Drew

  Drew risked a glance over at Meg as he drove them to the lake. She stared out her window, watching the passing scenery. She’d helped him load the kayaks and paddles into his truck. Kayaking was something he’d always enjoyed, even before the accident, and it was one of the first things he’d done again once he was strong enough to keep his balance and had gotten his act together. Something about being out on the lake cleared his head and centered him. He pulled down the little-used dirt road that led to the lake, slowing over the bumps and ruts.

  “There isn’t a crazy asshole out here wearing a hockey mask, is there?” Meg joked.

  “No. That’s the next town over.”

  “Funny. What’s the name of this place?”

  He pulled around and backed his truck up closer to the water. The kayaks were heavy, and he didn’t want to lug them any further than necessary. “It doesn’t have one, actually. Most people don’t even know it’s here. Just a couple of us locals. This time of y
ear, we’ll have the place to ourselves.” They got out of the truck and worked together to unload the kayaks onto the small sandy area that served as a beach.

  “Sit in there and I’ll give you a quick lesson.” He pointed to the bright green kayak he’d brought along for her.

  “Seriously?” She raised an eyebrow but climbed in anyway. “I feel ridiculous.” She wobbled slightly as she shifted her weight around.

  “You use your thighs to help balance yourself and paddle back and forth like this.” He showed her the motions with his paddle and watched her copy his movements. “There isn’t much of a current, so it should be easy to paddle. We’ll get you doin’ good here and move you up to the river later.”

  “Hmm, we’ll see.” She looked unsure and nervous.

  “Don’t be afraid. The lake isn’t deep, and as long as you don’t lean over the side too far you won’t flip.”

  “I’m not afraid.” He watched her straighten her shoulders and nod. “I can do this.” He was in awe of her bravery.

  “Let’s get on the water, then.” He extended a hand and helped pull her out, deliberately overbalancing her so she fell against his chest. Stealing a kiss, he patted her tight, little ass and bent to haul her kayak into the water.

  “How do I get into this thing?”

  “I’ll steady it back here, you just step in and I’ll give you a shove.”

  She got in and lowered herself down in the seat, a little squeak of distress escaping her when she wobbled slightly. He handed over her paddle and pushed her out and onto the water.

  “Whoa, fuck!” She shouted as she tipped and jostled side-to-side.

  “Use your thighs—brace them on the sides of the kayak to keep your balance,” he shouted out to her while getting into his own kayak and shoving off with his paddle.

  He paddled hard for a moment, quickly catching up with Meg where she was drifting around in circles.