He took a long breath. “I wish I could say I took Thorn’s declaration well. I didn’t. I remember thinking, well, fuck that, she’s not going to want to date you at all. Like he’d had his chance, and he’d missed it. If I could have, I would have just taken you from school that day and spent hours upon hours with you, until you decided on me and he never had a chance.” He laughed, a low sound. “Those hours in the janitor’s closet—it was like they woke me up. Hard to explain it. Anyway, that didn’t happen. School. Tests. Thorn managed to steal a minute with you.”
Everyone must have stared. I almost never spoke to anyone at school if I didn’t have to. They were both chasing me around? I couldn’t picture it.
Colton kept speaking. “He had left his jacket in the desert the night before. Went out there with the football players to get drunk and be ridiculous. Senior year stuff. He’d managed to leave his jacket, and he wanted it back. It was his football jacket, with the letters on it. His varsity one. Asked you to go with him to get it.”
That sounded familiar.
I need my jacket, Lacey. My dad will have a fit if I don’t have it. I think he wants to get it framed or something.
The memory drifted in and out of the room, like a butterfly.
“You told me what you were going to do when we were leaving school. I panicked.” He sighed. “You have all this history with Thorn. I know he screwed up, didn’t act like a good friend. But he had years with you, and all I had was the janitor’s closet. So I…” He cleared his throat. “Took all the air out of all four of his tires while he was with the football team for their weekly meeting. He couldn’t drive you out there. So, I did instead.”
This time I managed to sit up. “You did?”
He scrunched up his face. “I’ve apologized a dozen times to him. But, yes, I did. Not proud. Except that it did get us all together. Thorn must have told you how he felt. I don’t know the details of that. But you knew by the end of the night we were both into you. If you had any question, the fact that we both managed to kiss you until neither one of us could think clued you in.” He ran his thumb over my bottom lip, and I sighed. His smile told me he noticed. “And I guess I started to get with the program. Then the demon interfered.”
Nineteen
The demon interfered. That was putting it mildly.
Demon. Devil. Shapeshifter. Monster. Erdirg.
The thing I’d let out from whatever prison it had been held in. Basically, this was all my fault. Ironic, really, when most of the things I got blamed for weren’t actually things I did. But this—from the innocent janitor down to poor Robbie Dixon’s kidnapping and murder—were.
I could never do enough community service to make up for all the trouble I’d caused.
“Where did your mind go right now?” Colton asked, frowning.
I stuck my thumb in his chin dimple. “When I was mad at you, I told people you had a chin butt.”
He held onto my hand, keeping my thumb in place as he chuckled quietly. “I know. I was called Chin-Butt for most of third grade.”
“I’m sorry,” I replied, leaning forward to kiss the divot. “I was rotten.”
“It’s okay,” he said quietly. “I called you Monkey Girl.”
I pulled back. That nickname had followed me from third grade through sixth, and I could never figure out its origin.
He answered my question. “On account of your long, skinny arms.”
“So we’re even.” That was nice. This was an easy thing to make right. Not like the janitor. Or Robbie. “I have to put that thing back where it came from.”
Colton turned me until my back was against his chest and then wrapped his arms around me. “Or kill it.”
“Whatever we have to do,” I said. “It’s hurting people.” I thought about it being obsessed with me. “If it spent five minutes with me, it’d know that I wasn’t worth this much trouble.”
Arms going to my shoulders, Colton shook me. “Don’t talk like that. Don’t put yourself down. I know what the world has told you, but I don’t want you to listen to them. Listen to me. Listen to Thorn. Hell, listen to Aaron Chee. The kid is halfway in love with you.”
“Aaron is our age.”
He snorted, and it wasn’t a nice sound. “Seems younger.”
I twisted until I could see him. He wasn’t looking at me though; he was glaring at the hallway like he expected Aaron to show up any second. Oh shit. What was I doing? Of course he wouldn’t want me involved with Aaron.
It was one thing for me to like him and Thorn. They were two peas in a pod. Best friends since babyhood.
But Aaron and Oliver? They didn’t know them beyond what little they’d learned because of me. Just because I felt a connection to the four of them, didn’t mean they’d be on board with this.
Whatever this was.
The truth was, I had two groups of boys I was interested in. Oliver and Aaron. Thorn and Colton. They had connections to me, but there was nothing linking those pairs together. Not beyond killing-slash-trapping this demon.
Erdirg.
Whatever.
And once we did that, there would be nothing else to keep us together. Oliver had laid it out plainly, and I’d—once again—refused to see the logic in what he was telling me. Once this was done, he and Aaron were gone.
Did I really want to hurt Colton and Thorn by exploring whatever this was between me and Aaron and me and Oliver when they couldn’t stick around?
For the first time since Oliver had spoken to me so honestly, I actually appreciated his candor.
But then Colton and Thorn had gone and made it even more confusing. They wanted to train to live this life, to go with Ray, Aaron, and Oliver. That really just made me the odd man out. They were all going to have this connection that I wouldn’t have.
Unless I trained, too. But, God, I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to fight things like this for a profession or a calling or a… whatever.
Colton and Thorn had already given up over a year of their life for me. I couldn’t ask them to sacrifice a future they wanted.
I sighed. “I’d better go back to bed.”
Thorn rolled over slightly on the couch, snoring even louder. I looked over at Colton. In the moments I’d been quiet, he’d conked out, his hand a light pressure on my stomach. So much for his not being able to sleep with Thorn around.
I pulled out of his grip, and he winced but didn’t wake.
I rose from the couch and had made it halfway across the room, when he spoke. “I was thinking frozen yogurt.”
I turned to look. “What?”
His eyes were closed, and I smiled. He’d said he talked in his sleep. I guessed he hadn’t been kidding. Frozen yogurt? I hadn’t had any in years, not since Thorn’s mom had bought us some. I walked quietly down the hallway, making my way to the bedroom where Kelly slept undisturbed.
I crawled into the bed and waited, knowing sleep wouldn’t come any more that night.
The strangest thought occurred to me. The janitor that had died? He must have been the one who let Colton and me out of the closet. And now he was dead.
I chewed on my lip. What if Colt was right, and I was psychic? I didn’t like that term. Too many questions and no answers.
But tomorrow, I had school where things would be as they always were—miserable. There was something that would be familiar about that agony. I knew how to navigate it. And then I’d do my community service. I had so much to atone for.
I stared at myself in Kelly’s mirror. She’d gotten up and bounded around like a ball of energy on her way to breakfast. I had barely been able to brush my teeth.
A knock sounded on the door, and I opened it to stare at Thorn. Silently, he passed me a cup of coffee. I took it with a nod. I’d never been a great morning person.
“You get any sleep?”
I took a sip. “Not much. Few hours. Was in the living room for a while, but you didn’t wake despite the fact that Colton and I had a long talk.”
I rolled my eyes. “Funny. Yes. He was conscious. Sometime you’ll have to tell me how you told me you liked me. I have his side of the conversation.”
Thorn pulled on the end of my hair. “It went like this, ‘Lacey, I’ve really fucked up with you a lot, but I’ve been in love with you since I could identify what that meant. Please forgive me.’ And you rapidly blinked. I was pretty sure you wanted to bolt from the empty classroom I’d brought you into. But then you said what I knew you’d say…”
What had he known I’d say? “Which was what?”
“Very convenient you say this now when Colton is suddenly interested. Are you two making some kind of joke?”
Yes, that sounded like me. “Well, I guess I’m going to school.”
He leaned over and kissed my mouth. “Next time, wake me, Lacey. I’m still looking for my chance to make it up to you, for the fact that I have yet to… get to…”
Yes, I knew what we still had yet to do. My cheeks heated up. “If I didn’t have community service, and I wasn’t sleeping on the floor of a preteen girl’s bedroom.”
“If we weren’t chasing a monster?” Thorn filled in.
“Yeah,” I answered. “All that.”
“If Colton wasn’t waiting to take you to school.”
I smiled at Thorn’s what-if game, but it made me a little sad at the same time. There were statements I couldn’t utter, like the ones that had kept me awake last night.
“I need to get going,” I said quietly and took another sip of my coffee. It was really good. Not like the stuff Gran bought that came in a tin can.
“Right. School, then community service.”
I winced. I wasn’t looking forward to either of those things.
“Do you know what you have to do for community service?” Thorn asked as I walked toward the dining room.
“Sort of,” I replied. “I have to go to the courthouse after school. From there, I guess a bunch of us get in a van and are brought to wherever the work needs to be done. They gave us some examples when I went to the class I had to complete as part of my sentencing. Landscaping. Raking. Trash pickup. Stuff like that.”
“It’s supposed to be really warm,” Oliver said from the kitchen table. “Do you have a water bottle?”
I only had three pairs of underwear. “No.”
Jacinda was at the sink, and she reached into a cabinet, withdrew a metal bottle, and filled it. “Here,” she said. “Take this.”
We exchanged my now-empty coffee mug for the water bottle. “Thanks.”
The more time I spent with the Chees, the more I got to see just how a family could be together. Kelly was packing her backpack. Oliver was scrolling through his phone. Ray wasn’t here, and I wasn’t sure about Aaron and Colton.
“Is Aaron still sleeping?” I asked.
“He stumbled into the bathroom before you and Kelly woke up, and then stumbled back into bed,” Oliver answered.
“Which is pretty good, considering. He’s tough, but to come around this fast is impressive for Trappers who have been doing this for years.” Jacinda crossed her arms, stared toward the hallway, and worried at her lip. She was proud of him, for sure, but despite her words, she couldn’t hide her concern. “So.” Turning her gaze toward me, she smiled. “What time can I expect you home?”
“Actually,” Thorn interjected. “I was thinking she could come back to my apartment after school.”
Oliver’s head popped up, and he placed his phone on the table. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
“Colton and I will both be there. It’ll be easy enough for Colton to bring her over after community service. And we can’t keep imposing on your family.”
“Lacey can stay here as long as she needs to,” Oliver said, shifting in his seat. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared down Thorn.
It wasn’t that I wanted to stay with Thorn and Colton exclusively, or that Oliver implied that I could stay as long as I wanted that made me ask, “Which place is safer for all of us? If I go to Thorn’s apartment, would it put them in danger?”
I’d stay wherever I could be certain that my presence wouldn’t put the only people who cared about me in danger. And I included in that group Oliver and Aaron, as well as their family.
“Yes,” Oliver said at the same time Jacinda did.
Well, I guessed that answered that question.
She looked between us. Thorn was drilling holes into Oliver’s head with his gaze, and Oliver was doing the same back to him.
“Tell you what.” Jacinda placed a comforting hand on my arm. “Go to the apartment. You seem to want her to see it. You’ve brought it up about a dozen times.”
He had? When? Thorn dropped his gaze, color staining his cheeks. I guessed I’d missed something.
“What have I missed?” Colton echoed my question as he strode into the kitchen. His hair was damp, but had already curled.
Jacinda patted him on the back. “Just don’t sleep there. Bring her back before ten. Midnight really is the witching hour. All of you come back here and be safe. It’s not an imposition. You’re just not trained yet.”
Thorn nodded. “You’re right. Okay. And I’m sorry if I’ve been preoccupied. I just… Lacey and I have known each other forever. I want her with me.”
He wanted me with him. My heart swelled. No one ever really did.
“Well.” Oliver got to his feet. “We want her here, too, bro.”
Bro? I snorted and Jacinda laughed, throwing her head back.
Thorn shook his head. “Lacey, here. I got you this phone. We’re all programmed into it. Call us if you have any trouble, and Colton will be right outside the school.”
I stared at the device. “I’ve never had one before.” It was hard for me to swallow. “Thank you.”
He leaned over and kissed my cheek. “This is my pleasure.”
Colton cleared his throat. “Time to go.”
“Good luck finding out how to knock him out.”
Thorn smiled. “I’m onto something. I passed out last night because I couldn’t stay up another minute, but yeah, it’s there. I know it.”
Oliver touched the back of my head. “Have a good day in that hell hole. Sorry, I meant school.”
I smiled. That was aptly put.
I sat in Colton’s car staring at the high school. How could it only have been two days since the janitor died and I was there last? I chewed on my lip for a second. I had to find a can today. Kicking it was the only way I got to this place without wanting to curl up in a ball.
Next to me, Colton was quiet. I appreciated that about him. He didn’t talk when there was nothing to say. Turning, I studied his strong profile. “Feeling really lucky that you decided to like me in that closet and not hate me even more instead.”
He stroked his thumb down my cheek. “I never hated you, Lacey.” He leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. “Go, before I decide to drive off into the sunset with you.”
I winced. “Except for that pesky compulsion that keeps me here.”
“Ah, yes. Except for that.”
I unlocked the door. “You’re just going to sit here?”
“I’ll be good. I’ve got my phone. Music. If you need me, I’m two seconds away. I don’t dare go in with Mr. Roberts tied up with the demon. Be careful.”
I nodded. “See you later, Colt.”
I walked into the school in a daze. Students walked through the hall, some of them shooting me death glares, some of them ignoring me altogether. With my back straight, I headed for homeroom. Maybe I could just drift through this day.
It was weird being there, knowing Colton was outside and I had a phone to reach him if I needed to. I could practically see things as they were a year ago, as though they were happening today. Before I knew about anything paranormal at all. Before Oliver and Aaron were a blip in my life.
There had been Colton and Thorn. I’d have tried to catc
h Thorn’s eyes and hated it when he didn’t meet my gaze, while at the same time I’d have avoided Colt’s like the plague. I could see them now as they’d been then. Crowds surrounding Colton, laughter shadowing him. When I’d dared to look, he’d been as untouchable as memory itself. There and yet absent from reality, like a far away dream.
“Anytime you’re ready, Lacey,” Mr. Roberts called from the doorway of his classroom.
And just like that, I was firmly in the here and now.
Twenty
For a person who had been dragged out of the school after a murder, I was getting surprisingly little attention today.
Once in class, Mr. Roberts began his lecture like I wasn’t there. I received much fewer death glares here, maybe because of the pace of our teacher’s lecture. He was on a roll today, and I struggled to keep my thoughts focused on the topic and not on everything else.
No wonder Aaron and Oliver were homeschooled. There was a vast world of strange things overlaying what I thought I’d known about life, and it made things like Dostoevsky seem unimportant. I peeked up from my notes to glance around the room. The other students had their heads bent over their notebooks or fixed on Mr. Roberts.
I used to be jealous of other kids because I imagined they didn’t have chaotic, shitty lives like mine. Now I was jealous because even if they did have shitty lives, at least there weren’t any monsters in them.
Mr. Roberts assigned us homework, and the bell rang. I drifted to the next class, and the one after that, and the one after that. Every so often, the ridiculousness of my situation would distract me from the lessons, but I shut it down fast. I couldn’t think about the gym where the janitor died. Or that Colton was waiting for me in the car, like the police on a stakeout.
When the final bell rang, my stomach knotted. I’d gotten through the day, but now it was time for my community service. Despite having a bad girl reputation, I was actually sort of a goody-two-shoes.
I kept people from bothering me by having an attitude. My clothing, the way I held myself, all of that was part of my persona, and it did exactly what I intended it to do. It made the people who might hurt me think twice about doing so. If I looked less like a victim, then maybe I wouldn’t become one.
Eyes in the Darkness (The Coveted) Page 19