My cousin Christopher sat on their front porch. I stopped abruptly upon seeing him. Gran’s car was parked along the curb, and I realized, when she got out of the hospital, she’d have nowhere to go. It hadn’t even crossed my mind to tell Christopher about the house being gone. Come to think of it, no one even seemed to notice. There was a disturbing lack of community response lately. The janitor. Me leaving the police station. Community service. For crying out loud, a house had been sucked into the earth and I hadn’t seen one police vehicle, nor had it crossed my mind to call them. I guessed that was the result of years of being treated like public enemy number one. A little bubble of anger welled in my chest. I was sick to death of this town.
Erdirg was getting stronger, I had no doubt. And all of this—from the murders to watching the officer climb into his van and drive away yesterday—could be laid right at the demon’s feet. It was the only explanation. Oliver’s truck was parked in the driveway, so while his motorcycle was nowhere to be seen, the truck had to mean someone was here. I was anxious to get inside to see them for myself. And if they weren’t inside, well—there was a spectrum to wrongness and this would be on the extreme side.
“Lacey.” Christopher rose, and I held my ground. If anyone was inside, they’d come out when they saw us talking. I stared at him, studying him. Was he the demon?
“I just came to tell you that Gran is dead.”
Coldness moved over me, but not grief. “I… When did that happen?”
“Last night. I thought you’d want to know.” He scratched his head. “I know she wasn’t good to you.”
No, and he hadn’t helped, but I had no intention of getting into that with him now or ever. Shouldn’t I feel something—anything—about my gran’s death?
He looked over his shoulder. “Something destroyed the house. An earthquake or some shit. I don’t know. There’s a guy who wants to pay me eight hundred dollars to haul what’s left away and sell the stuff.” He held out a handful of cash. “Here. I got this from Maura. It’s your half. We’re leaving, and I’m not coming back to pay you.”
This had to be the most bizarre conversation I’d ever had. Okay. Yes. “Fine. Sounds good. Haul it away.” Salt the ground. I wanted nothing from it. I’d take the four hundred as payment for the years I’d endured inside the house’s hellish walls with the devil as my gran. They’d wanted to exorcise me. That was funny, in a strange, sick way.
“Good. You living here now? With the weird family?”
I stormed past him. “They’re not weird. Was there anything else?”
“No. Just wanted to tell you that. See you around.” He headed to Gran’s car, kicking a rock on the sidewalk that clinked off her passenger door. I didn’t ask him where he lived now. I didn’t care to know.
Turning away, I went to the Chee’s front door and tried the knob. To my surprise, and hope that this meant someone was inside, it was unlocked. As the door swung open, the scent of incense surrounded me. Shit. That was strong. Coughing, I looked around. My heart sank. Sure enough, no one was here. But the kitchen table was covered in stuff and a book lay open in the center. What had happened here?
Inside my pocket, the stones Aaron and Kelly left for me seemed like balls of ice. I’d forgotten about them for most of the day. Something about this was bringing them to my attention though, and like Oliver had told me, I needed to pay attention to my instincts.
I took my amethyst out of my pocket and held it in my hand as I went through the house. The edges of the stone were jagged and rough, but I rubbed them with my thumb.
There was an emptiness to the house that made goosebumps break out along my skin. All the signs were here that people hadn’t left long ago. Aaron’s bed was messy. Oliver’s closet door was open. Kelly’s hairbrushes were spread out over the bathroom vanity.
I walked back into the kitchen. Cups in the sink. The coffee maker was still on. I switched it off and turned around. Maybe they’d left me a note.
I went back to the kitchen table, studying the items on the surface for something that would tell me what was going on. All that was there was a spent stick of incense on an incense burner and that book.
Leaning forward, I read the open page.
Erdirg woke from his slumber only to find the world changed beyond recognition. Angry, he destroyed his place of rest. Never would he sleep again if what he awoke to was such disrespect. He came upon the people who’d taken up residence in his land, and he halted his destruction. There among the humans was a woman. With hair as dark as night and eyes as light as the sun on the sand, she was, he decided, his mate.
But the woman was strong, and she refused to live with Erdirg, who in his demon form—emaciated and horned—frightened her. So Erdirg took the form of the strongest warrior, but for all of his trickery, the woman wasn’t fooled.
Filled with rage, Erdirg killed those who surrounded and protected the woman until she was left alone. Crying tears of hopelessness, the woman stared at the people she loved, their blood greedily sucked up by the desert.
My heart pounded in my chest. So I wasn’t Erdirg’s first crush, and the way he dealt with rejection was to kill everyone. Where were the Chees and the guys? Why hadn’t they called or left a note?
I gripped the amethyst harder as I pulled out a chair and sat. I would wait here a little longer, hoping that the guys would turn up. But if they didn’t, I was going out to look for them. End of story.
Pulling the book closer, I read the next page and winced. Erdirg’s crush trapped him by calling the darkness to her. Super helpful. I guess I was supposed to stretch my arms out into the night and embrace the dark?
How’d she get him into the mask? I flipped through the pages of the book, but there was no recipe. No step-by-step instructions for How to Trap a Demon. Just “Called the darkness.”
After a while, I gave up. They weren’t coming, and I had to face facts, all logic pointed to them being taken by the demon. Maybe demons—plural. Anxiety rode me hard, but I couldn’t give in to it. They needed me.
Okay. I had to think and breathe. The Chees had gone to buy supplies. Were these all of them, or did I need to get something like salt? I walked over to Thorn’s laptop. It lay on its side on the couch. I could practically see him lying there with it on his stomach.
Aaron had taken Kelly. Usually, she came home after me, but she wasn’t here. What had happened that had dragged Kelly out of school first? I looked down at the computer. The supply list was pulled up. I let out a breath. Thank you, Thorn, for being so organized and on top of this.
I wasn’t Veronica Mars, and I couldn’t follow clues to the end of the trail. There was no guarantee I would magically save everyone from a fucking demon. Tears of anger dripped over my lips. Okay. Tears weren’t good. I wiped them away. I’d always been strong; I’d always been angry. I could do this. I wasn’t weak. I wasn’t that girl from the legend who lost everything.
I gathered up the supplies. I had to call the darkness? Fine. I’d call it by its first fucking name. I grabbed a bag from Oliver’s room. I’d used so much of his space and stuff this whole time. I hoped he didn’t mind me doing it once more. Had he gotten back from Albuquerque with the stuff, or had his parents returned? I had nothing but questions burning in my brain.
In my mind, I had a sudden flash, and I jolted. A white minivan. What was that? I shivered, tremors wracking my body as I tried to process the scene. It reminded me of when I’d convinced the idiot in my detention to paint the penises on the water tower in order to save the football team.
In two strides, I went over and put the television on. There it was. The white minivan that had been missing. They were showing it on the news again as tow trucks dragged it out of a crumbling trailer park out in the desert. They’d found the owners, dead, in my childhood neighborhood.
Erdirg. I knew it. Everything, everyone, dying here and out in the desert was because of him. And me. Guilt threatened to swallow me whole. He probably saw this as courting. I
’d have to find a way to live with this later, so for now, I steeled my spine.
Those poor people. I rubbed the back of my neck, scratching myself with the amethyst I’d forgotten I still held. I put it in my pocket.
Where was that car found? That was where I had to go.
A voice echoed in my mind. See. Remember. Like the image of the van. It made me freeze in place. The voice was oddly familiar, but I couldn’t place it, and I couldn’t stand around trying to work it out. There were people relying on me.
I loaded up all the stuff on the table in the bag, including the book and the laptop. I’d return all of it later when I found them. The good news, if there was good news, was that it took Erdirg time to kill. They’d only now found the bodies of the missing people. My people were okay. He’d kept them alive earlier because of me. I had to hope he was doing the same thing now, holding onto them to draw me to him.
I stepped outside. “Erdirg.” I spoke his name. Could he hear me? Probably. He always watched me. Through his own eyes. Through the ones of the people whose forms he took. Eyes in the darkness. Always there. Always wanting me.
“Don’t kill them. I’m coming. To you.”
Twenty-Three
There was nothing more embarrassing than deciding you were going to save the world and not having a ride. I went outside, bag slung over my shoulder, eyes narrowed like I was ready to fucking burn down the world, before the reality of my situation hit me.
I didn’t have a car.
It was a cloudy day, and the sun suddenly cut through the clouds, and like a sign from God, the light hit Oliver’s truck. Well. I was borrowing his bag. Hopefully he wouldn’t mind me borrowing his truck.
Thank goodness. Now. No one had ever taught me to drive, but before Christopher had been a fixture in our life, I’d been the one to drive Gran back from Bingo. At twelve, I’d kept a pillow in the backseat so I could see over the steering wheel. If I had driven her rust bucket, I could drive this truck.
The car started when I twisted the key in the ignition, and the engine rumbled, causing the whole truck to shudder. But when I put it in drive it moved—which is the most a person can hope from a vehicle.
My heart pounded and my stomach was in knots as I made my way through town and then toward the desert. I hadn’t been back to the home where I’d been born in years, but I remembered the way.
It was late afternoon, and I was headed west. The sun, when it shone through the clouds, was directly in my eyes, and I had to drive with one hand at my forehead, blocking the worst of the light. Soon, the only thing to see was scrub brush and roadkill. The emergency vehicles were gone, probably compelled away by Erdirg.
I was home.
The trailer park where we used to live was down a dusty, one lane dirt road. Potholes covered the length of the road, and the truck bounced as I slowed over each one. I didn’t remember much about this part of the world. I had flashes of memories, but I couldn’t be sure if they were dreams, or if they’d actually happened.
Our trailer had been set away from the rest of the park. We lived on the edge of a hill, and I thought I might have played in a dried-up riverbed down there.
The clouds grew darker, but every so often, they thinned enough that the sun could peer through. It was during one of these little breaks in the grayness that I finally drove up on the park.
Or what was left of it. I shut the car off, left the keys in the ignition because I’d seen enough horror movies to know a quick getaway would probably be called for, and got out.
Staring at my feet, I walked a distance from the park. This was where I’d cut myself; this was where he’d decided mine was the blood of his mate. I had no instructions, just the stuff I’d grabbed off the table. Incense. A bowl. A knife. Was it a special knife? A special bowl? Fuck if I knew.
I stopped and watched the horizon for a second. It would be too easy for Erdirg to show up and just bring me my people. I set down the bag and opened it up. Called the darkness, that was all that I knew.
Remember. See.
I still had the amethyst. I had no idea what I was to remember or see, but fine. I’d just have to trust myself. People drew circles in the movie. Circles were important symbolism. The idea of infinity. Totality. Wholeness. Sometimes even God. Those were all good things. I’d go with it.
I grabbed the bowl and the knife and set them down. The incense was a problem. I had nothing to burn them with. All right. Making do, I broke the sticks up into the bowl. Sweat broke out on the back of my neck. What was I even doing here? I was nothing, and I’d always be a nothing.
I couldn’t beat anyone.
I shook my head. I had to. There was no room for my classic Lacey self-doubt. This had started with blood.
Maybe it would end that way.
I cut my hand, letting it drip blood into the bowl.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
One second there was nothing and then there was Kelly. She stood on the edge of the circle, staring at me.
“We took care of you.” She watched me in a way that made my skin crawl. In a way Kelly had never looked at me before. “How could you do this to my family?”
My hand shook, and when she’d appeared, I’d shifted and my blood dripped into the sand.
“You know, Lacey, I could be your best friend.” Kelly walked closer, but now I knew, this wasn’t Kelly. This was the shapeshifter. The monster. The skinwalker. The wendigo. The demon.
Erdirg.
Kelly’s form skirted the circle, and I was glad I’d followed my instinct. Her gaze went to the little spots of wet in the dirt.
“You’ve never really had a friend,” she said in that young voice of hers. “Someone who would stay true to you, no matter what.” Her dark eyes met mine and suddenly the preteen form melted away to become someone with the same eyes.
Oliver.
“I would always stay true to you. There would be no one between us. Nothing on this Earth that would make me turn my back on you.” Oliver’s smile was equal parts gorgeous and terrifying. “We’d ride that motorcycle as far as we could go. Then, when we couldn’t go any farther, I’d bring down the cold for you. You’ve never seen snow in the desert, have you?”
My hand stung, bringing me back to reality. How did this creature know all of my dreams? When I’d shared my blood, had I shared a part of myself? A part that child-Lacey hadn’t even known existed yet?
Oliver’s broad shoulders lifted as he took a deep breath. “Or maybe you’d like to do something a little quieter?” His long hair, usually a little wild, smoothed into long, shiny strands. His posture changed, morphing from straight backed to a little less confident. He’d taken Aaron’s form, and now he spoke with Aaron’s voice. “We could lie on a blanket and look up at the stars. We’d read the same books and talk about them. I’d hold your hand, and you’d rest your head on my arm. It’d be so easy—like breathing. I have doubts, too, Lace. I know I want you, but don’t you think it hurts that you don’t want me back? That you run from me?”
Those words out of Oliver’s mouth would have been a joke. But spoken by Aaron? With Aaron’s voice and Aaron’s tone, and the way he had of staring into my eyes and seeing straight inside of me?
I felt it. I felt Erdirg’s hurt and confusion, and I had the strangest sensation to apologize for causing hurt.
“You’re not Aaron.” I had to speak the truth aloud to believe it. How could he so fully become another person?
Aaron-Erdirg stopped. “You don’t trust me.” He sighed. “How could you yet?”
In a blur, he took on a dozen forms, flashing from one person to another.
Principal Hancock.
Gran.
Reverend Quimby.
Maura.
Uncle Jay.
My cousin Matthew.
Robbie Dixon.
Mr. Chee.
Jacinda.
Colton’s mother.
Colton.
His toes touched the rim of the circle but didn’t cr
oss it. Seeing those people, the faces of some of the people who had hurt me so badly during a time when I was alone and vulnerable, changed something inside me. Erdirg-as-Aaron, or Oliver, or Kelly, didn’t hold the same power.
Anger made my face heat and hands clench. “You tried to make me weak.”
Erdirg-as-Colton shook his head. He frowned and rubbed his hands down his bearded cheeks in a move Colton had as well. “Never. I would never want a weak mate.”
Lies. “But you did. You wanted everyone to hate me. You isolated me. You wanted me alone so that I had no choice.”
He crouched, fingers splaying in the dirt on either side of his knees. “How could you ever forgive me?”
It was fucking low to use the exact same words Colton had when he’d fought the compulsion to stay away from me. My hand was sticky as I opened it to look down at the cut. The blood had slowed. Erdirg had distracted me, and now it was smeared in the bowl, on the ground, and over the incense. The piece of amethyst I’d brought sat in the dirt, and I stared at it. The purpose of the stone was to repel negativity, but I didn’t want to do that right now. I wanted to embrace it, remember it. My negativity, my distrust, it had kept me alive. It had kept me fighting.
And it had kept away Erdirg.
“I could never forgive you,” I said, staring straight into the blue eyes this creature had stolen from someone I loved. “I hate you.”
“But you don’t hate me.” Colton’s slick smile shifted, the one he used in school but never on me, and his face altered, re-shaped, until he was Thorn. “I can be whoever you want me to be. This? You’ve always loved this face. Even when it turned its back on you and left you alone to drift. I would never do that. It wouldn’t take someone else’s love of you to make me know what I want.”
It was so easy to tear apart each of them like this. Kelly, friend. Oliver, overconfident. Aaron, insecure. Colton, cocky. Thorn, uncertain. But that wasn’t what each of them were. Not really.
I could really be a total bitch.
Eyes in the Darkness (The Coveted) Page 23