My Two Husbands: A Laugh Out Loud Romantic Comedy

by Amanda Aksel

  “That’s what I was trying to tell you.” She moves past me and opens the door. Jake, in fresh, dry clothes, stands on the other side.

  “Jake?” I move toward him.

  The corners of his mouth turn up in a smile. “Quinn, what are you doing here?”

  “I came to get Lily.”

  “Sloan didn’t tell you I was coming?” he asks.

  My friend folds her arms and glances between the two of us. “I tried. But Natalie just had to spill the tea.”

  Jake shoots me a look.

  “Why don’t I take Lily for a walk and you two can talk.” Sloan pats her leg and grabs Lily’s leash. Our dog happily complies, and moments later, they’re gone.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask, folding my arms in.

  “I came to get Lily so I’d have a chance to see you again soon.”

  I think back to when we first met and the ingenious ways he invented to see me. “I thought you said you were going to leave me alone.”

  “You didn’t say you were done with me,” he says.

  “Isn’t me leaving the island with Kyle the same thing?”

  Jake steps closer. “I don’t know. Is it?”

  After the conversation I just had with my soon-to-be ex-husband, it clearly isn’t. “You’re very arrogant, you know that?”

  “I can be, but I’m not being arrogant now. I’m just . . . sure.” He looks deep into my eyes, and I can’t even blink. “I have something for you, actually.” Jake digs in his pocket, and my heart races. “Here.” He reveals a small, folded piece of paper. A check. “I’ve been wanting to give this to you for a while.”

  I unfold it and read the amount. One hundred and fifty thousand dollars? “What is this?”

  “It’s the money I took for Vegas, plus interest.”

  I can’t believe it. “That’s a high interest rate. How did you get this?”

  Jake shrugs, and I’m almost positive he’s going to say he won it on a good hand of blackjack. “I earned it. Living in your loft helped.”

  “I don’t know what to say. Thank you.”

  “I told you I would make it right.” It’s not the money. It’s that he never gave up on doing the right thing. Even if he had a few setbacks. “Quinn,” he says, putting his hand over his heart. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be the man I am today.”

  “And what man is that?”

  “Sober. And a hell of a lot smarter.”

  “Smarter, huh?” I let out a small laugh. “Is that why you’re dating Kyle’s ex?”

  He rubs the back of his neck. “Yeah, we broke up. Honestly, I think we were only with each other because we were each missing someone else.”

  I narrow my eyes, folding the check. “And you really didn’t know we were on that cruise?”

  He throws his hands up. “I swear. But c’mon, are you really surprised we ended up on the same boat?” With the way the universe continually throws us together, I suppose I shouldn’t be.

  “So was this your big plan? See me again after what happened, give me back the money, and I’d just drop everything and tell you that I love you, that I’m miserable without you, that you’re part of me in such a profound way that no matter what I do or who I’m with, you’ll always be the one for me?” He opens his mouth to speak, but I cut him off, tears welling up in my eyes. “Well, you know what, Jake? You are the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.”

  “Does that mean you’re done with me?”

  I glare at him, and the longer I look into his brown eyes the more I know he’s right. We belong together. My expression softens. “No. Because you’re also the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And no matter how hard I try to keep away from you, you’ll just keep showing up. I don’t want to fight it anymore.”

  “I don’t either,” Jake says as if I took his breath away. He lunges forward and takes my face into his hands, kissing me like he’s been saving up one hundred and fifty thousand dollars’ worth. I breathe him in as our mouths freely welcome each other back, reunited at last.

  “I don’t want to lose you again,” he says with his nose touching mine. “I love you, Quinn. You mean everything to me.”

  This is not how I expected the story to end, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I smile looking into Jake’s soulful brown eyes and find home. “I love you too, baby.”

  And finally it’s just me and my one true love.

  Hello Reader!

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  XXO- Amanda

  Also by Amanda Aksel

  The Marin Test Series

  The Man Test

  The Commitment Test

  The Pregnancy Test- Coming soon!

  The Londonaire Brothers Series

  Lingerie on the Floor

  Lose Your Shirt

  Beside Manor

  W hat do you say when the two men you love just threw themselves over the rail of a cruise ship and confessed their undying love?

  There are no words. It’s way too much to process.

  Water drips from Jake’s dark hair into his puppy dog eyes. I want to say something, give him something. But then I look at Kyle whose expression is beaten and bruised. I’ve hurt my husband enough for one day. Maybe even enough for a lifetime.

  “Lady, we don’t have all day for this love triangle drama. C’mon guys,” the officer motions for two other patrolman to escort my two husbands away.

  “Wait! Where are you taking them?” I follow behind as the guys hang their heads.

  “To jail,” the officer says plainly. Oh sure, it’s a normal day for him.

  “Hold on! Can’t you two just drop the charges?” I call to their backs.

  “No! He stole my wife and almost killed me!” Jake struggles to turn around, but the patrolman manhandles him into submission.

  “That’s what you get for not keeping your goddamn hands to yourself!” Kyle yells back at him.

  The head officer pulls me aside. “If I were you, I’d wait to see which one of these idiots survives the day in jail.” A sinking feeling weighs on my gut at the thought of the two of them jailed together in a foreign country. He hands me a business card with the precinct information. “You can pick up the winner here.”

  Oh my god. They’re not thinking clearly. None of us have been thinking clearly. And now the only thing that’s clear is that I need to rescue them both.

  I ask the guard who escorted me out here to take me back. I need to get our things and get off of this boat as soon as humanly possible. As we return up the ramp onto the ship, Emily waits near the entrance, tapping her foot with her arms crossed.

  “What the hell happened?” she demands in the harshest southern drawl I’ve ever heard.

  Nothing good. I glance back recalling the whole thing in my mind. “You don’t want to know.”

  “Oh, I already know they got into a fight and flew overboard.”

  My eyes widen. “You saw it?”

  “No, but I was woken up by some rude cruise staff with the news since Jake and I are sharing a room. So what’s happening now? They’ve been arrested?”

  “Yeah, they pressed charges against each other. Will you come with me to bail them out?”

  Emily’s arms fling in the air. “Are you out of your mind?” These days, it does seem like that. “What makes you think I’d go rescue a guy who nearly died fighting o
ver you? That’s right, Natalie. I know exactly what this is about. I’ll never understand why they think you’re so special.” She takes a menacing step toward me, red-faced. “Do you have any idea what it’s like to be in love with someone who’s in love with someone else? Do you know how badly that hurts?”

  Then I see something in her eyes. Something that’s difficult to confront. Whatever happened between her and Kyle caused real pain. Pain that feels as fresh as it did when it happened years ago. No doubt this is the pain that both my husbands share. And something I clearly know nothing about.

  “Yeah, I didn’t think so,” she says. “I guess you and Kyle deserve each other.” Then the angered, heartbroken woman stomps up the hall toward the elevator. And rightly so. Every time her sandal smacks against the concrete floor, I feel something shift. It’s like I can mentally and emotionally pull away, removing myself from the situation, and see the truth. The truth is that pain, when not dealt with, only causes more pain. No matter what I do now, this whole thing is a total shit-show.

  And so I go quiet.

  Once I’ve packed up all our things in our stateroom, I head to the main desk. The lady behind the counter already knows all about the drama and is not shy about telling me. “We haven’t had this much excitement on the ship for a while. So is it like a love triangle kinda thing, or a polygamy thing?”

  My cheeks turn hot pink. Is she seriously asking me this right now?

  “Hey, if two men threw themselves into the ocean over me, it’d make my day!” I think this woman watches too many soap operas.

  “Really? My cruise, and potentially my life, is ruined. And now I have to go save their asses from jail. That would make your day?”

  She sends me a dismissive wave. “Don’t worry. They’ll probably be in a holding cell with a bunch of other drunk tourists.”

  “That’s supposed to make me feel better?”

  “No. Two handsome-ass men are in love with you. That should make you feel better.” What kind of customer service is this? She hands me some documentation. “By the way, neither of them are allowed back on this cruise line again. You’re gonna have to get yourself a new man to bring you aboard.”

  I shoot her a caustic glare. “Thanks for your help.”

  “My pleasure.” She beams.

  I wheel both mine and Kyle’s bags out to the dock and begin heading toward the main square to catch a cab.

  “Hey, Natalie!” A familiar twang screeches from a distance. “Up here!”

  I turn around, scanning the crowd behind me. My gaze moves up the boat, past the little circular windows, and up to the rows of balconies stacked on top of each other until I spot a woman waving a white T-shirt in the air. Emily?

  “Tell Jake I said it’s over!” she shouts and tosses the shirt overboard. It floats in the air, dropping toward the water, quickly followed by another piece of clothing. Then another. And another. I watch as Jake’s entire weekend wardrobe follows his fate and hits the water below.

  “Hey!” one of the guards yells from the dock into a megaphone. “Crazy lady! Stop throwing items off the ship!”

  “I’m almost done!” she yells back, tossing a pair of black boxer briefs over the rail.

  This has gotten way out of hand. I can’t bear to watch this anymore.

  ***

  Maybe it was a mistake thinking that I’d never have to bail my two husbands out of jail. It’s not like they haven’t had a brawl before.

  After posting bail, I wait while the man behind the desk finishes the paperwork. “Look, I don’t want them to know I’ve bailed them out before I get a chance to talk to them.”

  “Trust me, they’ve been punished enough,” he says, and I swallow hard. So much for a cell of drunken tourists.

  When I get to the jail cell, they’re the only two in it. Then I take in the fact that it’s no bigger than an elevator cab. So that’s what the guy at the desk meant.

  “You two ready to drop the charges?” I ask, approaching the metal barred cell.

  Kyle rushes toward the closed, barred door. “I knew you’d come for me.”

  “She’s not here for you. She’s here for me.” Jake follows behind.

  “You’re both wrong. I’m not here for either of you.”

  “What do you mean?” Kyle knits his brow, white-knuckling his fists around the bars.

  “I know you two want me to choose between you, but I can’t. Either decision would be wrong.”

  “So, what are you saying?” Jake asks.

  “I care about you both, but I can’t keep doing this. And neither can you. I’m going to do what I should’ve done a long time ago. I need time and space to clear my head. So, I’m going home by myself.”

  Kyle’s eyes bulge. “You’re just gonna leave us here!”

  “That depends.” I fold my arms. “Will you both drop the charges against each other?”

  They each shift their eyes reluctantly toward the other and share some version of an agreeable nod.

  “Good. I already bailed you both out.” I wheel Kyle’s suitcase closer to the cell. “Here are your things.”

  “I suppose that other suitcase isn’t for me?” Jake asks, eyeing my carry-on.

  “No. Emily was pretty pissed. I wouldn’t count on getting any of your things back.” I look them both over. “I took the liberty of booking each of you a flight back.” My two husbands share a dreaded look. “On different airlines. I’ll email you the details.”

  I turn to leave.

  “Will you be home tonight?” Kyle asks, and I turn back, shaking my head.

  I lower my eyes. “I don’t think so.”

  ***

  Last night, I stayed at Sloan’s with Lily. I called my neighbor to make sure Kyle got home safely. I fed her some phony story about Kyle being sick from the cruise. Thankfully, she didn’t ask any other questions. I haven’t checked on Jake, but he’s a survivor. Wherever he is, I know he’ll be all right.

  Now I know I said I needed time to clear my head. The thing is, I don’t really know how to do that. I only know how to keep my head down and push through. So that’s why I’m at the office right now, distracting myself with work. And what better way to do that than setting up yet another showing with the Delures? Because it’s totally like me to make a bad situation worse.

  I grab my tote, and just as I’m about to head to the scheduled showing, Jake walks into my office.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask, my hands beginning to tremble.

  He shrugs. “I saw your car in the parking lot. I need to talk to you.”

  “I can’t right now. I have a client appointment.” I grip the strap on my bag and begin walking past him.

  He steps in my way. “This will just take a second.”

  I let out a sigh and will myself to look at his face.

  “I’m sorry that I kissed you, no matter how good it felt at first.”

  “At first?” I ask.

  “Yeah. When you pulled away from me, I could see this look in your eyes, and I knew that I’d done the wrong thing. Again. I’m sorry.”

  I drop my head. “I shouldn’t have kissed you back.”

  “Why did you?”

  “Because, Jake, I . . . I still love you. You know I do, otherwise you wouldn’t have kissed me in the first place.” I pause. “But I can’t be with you anymore. We need to let each other go. For real.”

  “It’s hard, Quinn,” he says with sad eyes.

  “I know. It’s hard for me too. But I don’t want us to keep hurting each other.”

  He nods. “I don’t either. I just want you to be happy. I thought you’d be happier with me.”

  “I was happier with you, remember? But things changed,” I say.

  “I know. You’re right. You should take time to figure out what you want.”

  “Thank you for saying that.”

  “I have something for you, actually.” Jake digs in his pocket, and my heart races. “Here.” He reveals a small folded piece o
f paper. A check. “I’ve been wanting to give this to you for a while.”

  I unfold it and read the amount. One hundred and fifty thousand dollars? “What is this?”

  “It’s the money I took for Vegas, plus interest.”

  Holy shit. I can’t believe it. “That’s a high interest rate. How did you get this?”

  Jake shrugs, and I’m almost positive he’s going to say he won it on a good hand of blackjack. “I earned it. Living in your loft helped.”

  “I don’t know what to say.”

  “You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted to make things right as best as I can.”

  I stare down at the check. “This means a lot, Jake. But it doesn’t change anything.”

  He nods quietly with his eyes lowered. “I know.”

  I glance at my watch. “I’m sorry, but I’m gonna be late for my showing with the French couple again.”

  “You still haven’t fired them?”

  “No, but this helps.” I hold up the check.

  “Well, I hope it all works out for you.”

  “Thanks.”

  He says nothing. What is there left to say anyway? I head out, leaving him standing in my office for a moment. But I turn back.

  “Hey, Jake,” I say, approaching him.

  He looks up. “Yeah?”

  I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him in. “I hope everything works out for you too.”

  He squeezes me tight, burring his face in the crook of my neck. “Thanks, Quinn.”

  I let him go and don’t look back.

  ***

  When I pull up to yet another breathtaking million-dollar property, the Delures are walking out of the front door.

  How’d they get in?

  I park next to the curb with a loud screech and hurry over to my clients. “What happened? Our appointment isn’t until two.” I glance at my watch again, and it’s only two-o-one.

  “We got here early to check out the neighborhood. The listing agent was already here, so we decided to do the tour without you.”