“Momma provided that for me on her death bed. She saved you the trouble.”
Edward exhaled and tipped his head towards the rain clouds. Gears’ mom had taken the umbrella and the rain was plastering my hair to my head. When he looked back to me, his face had taken on a steely resolve, which was more like the Edward I was used to.
“I don’t have fucking long so play nice and hear me out. The biggest mistake I made was seeking out the Hermanos. They own my ass and there’s no way out for me. Everything I’ve done has been a fucking command and when I say everything, I mean it. Part of keeping them on side was showing them I could keep order under my own fucking roof.” I went to open my mouth to protest, but he continued. “I ain’t getting out. I’m fucking Hermanos by blood. Ginny, I have a kid, a daughter.”
Edward waited just a beat for the shock on my face to take shape. I had a niece; this evil monster who had tortured me for decades had fathered a child.
“When shit got serious, I left her mother. It was just too hot and if the Hermanos knew that Gabriella existed… it’s too dangerous for her. I made a choice, Ginny, and I’m living with the consequences.”
“Gabriella?” I whispered.
“Yeah, she’s five and—” his face looked pained “—she’s fucking perfect and I need her to stay that way. Tommy helps me get money to her mom, Faye, every month. Although, since the fucker ran off with some of the Hermanos’ product, that’s been a problem for me. If anything happens to me…” He inhaled again. “There’s a grab bag buried under the ground under dad’s tractor in the barn. In the bag is enough money for Faye and Gabby to get clear and start again.”
“Edward—”
My resolve against him was softening as he continued with his request. The voice he now used was nothing like the one I’d heard for years. It was the Edward I remembered from before he’d found out about his heritage, but before I could continue, he interrupted me and carried on.
“Their address is in the bag.”
“Edward, you take the money. Take your secret family and run.”
I watched as he clenched his fist, and it caused me to stumble over my words. Edward with a clenched fist usually meant bad things for me, but right now it was because he was trying to keep control of the conversation.
“Don’t you get it? There is nowhere I can run. The only thing that keeps them safe is me not being in their lives. I run with them, they find them, too. They’ll either use them or kill them. They don’t deserve to suffer or live in fear because of me.”
Hearing him say that was like a knife to my heart and he knew it. My brother had compassion; he’d had it all along, just not for our dead mother and me. We were expendable in his fight to keep his family safe. He’d made a choice and it wasn’t us. Our suffering and the show he put on for the Hermanos kept them safe.
“I don’t expect you to forgive me, Ginny. Fuck, you don’t even have to see me ever again.”
“You will never get my forgiveness.”
“I don’t have time for this. Promise me you’ll do as I ask. I’m not asking for me. I’m asking for my daughter.” His voice broke at the end.
I looked Edward in the eye, his eyelashes surrounded by drops of water that could have been rain or tears.
I nodded my agreement.
“Thank you,” he whispered. “You cannot tell the Sentinels about them, Ginny. You do that and you put your man in the middle of it. He’s a mouthy cunt, a biker, and they’re looking for an opportunity to slit his throat. All you have to do is give Faye the bag and walk away. I’ve managed to convince the Hermanos that you’re irrelevant. You’re not their blood anyway, but Ella is.”
Edward’s eyes looked over my shoulder. “Go to your man. You want anything from the house you need to take it quickly. It’s not safe for you to be there.”
I watched as my brother turned to leave.
“Edward, wait.” I wanted to say something more profound, something that showed him I was the bigger person and would honor his trust by carrying out his wishes should the need arise.
“Watch out for Tommy, Ginny. He’s in a world of trouble and still has a soft spot for you. That night, that time, it haunts me that I was capable of that. But it was you or me, them or you and Momma, and I made the choice that I could best live with. Sounds fucked up, but that’s the world I’m in. I needed Tommy on side. Now go, we’re done.”
This time he did turn and walk off, leaving me dumbstruck by all I’d just learned. The closer he got to the Hermanos waiting on the edge of the cemetery, the more I saw the Edward I’d come to despise return.
In that moment I still hated him. He’d made life choices that affected more than just himself. Momma and I had been given no say in our involvement, but we’d both paid the price in different ways. Edward might have loved his daughter and her mother, but they were better off out of the world he existed in.
“You okay, baby?” Gears said from behind me.
“Yeah, just a minute,” I called back.
“Momma,” I whispered, looking down at the rose mingled with the handfuls of dirt the priest had thrown as part of his interment. “Some things, once said, can only be forgiven and I forgive you. I can forgive Edward, but I’ll never forget. Bye, Momma.”
I turned to join the only person left I could rely on.
“Do I need to be worried about your brother?”
“No, all good. It’s over.”
It wasn’t the first time I’d lied to Gears, but it was the first time since he’d learned all about my past. It was also the first time I had no intention of ever telling him what I’d learned. Keeping him in the dark about Faye and Gabriella was vital to keeping everyone safe.
Chapter
Gears
I had no fucking idea what went down at her mom’s funeral, but for a week she’d been in a funk. I spent the first two days convincing myself that it was grief. Gigi’s life as she knew it was over. Simple as that. Who wouldn’t be a little off kilter with all that change and loss?
The thing was, though, she wasn’t grieving for the life she’d left before all of this so whatever had put her in this funk was something else.
The only thing it could be was that motherfucking life ruining asshole of a brother. I should never have let her speak with him alone. It went against my gut instinct, but if I hadn’t it would have made me the same as him—a controlling dick. As much as I wanted to wrap her up in cotton wool and never let the world harm her again, I couldn’t do that to her. With me, she was free. With me, she would always have the freedom of choice.
I’d managed to talk myself down off a ledge of worry and despair until I was helping Mom with some mundane shit in the kitchen. I knew she didn’t need help with whatever she was making up, but as soon as we were clear of Gigi, she pounced.
“Is Gigi okay?”
“Yes. Where’s this crappy kitchen thing you can’t reach?” I continued looking at the wall units for guidance.
“Oh hush, that was just a ruse. I needed to get you away from her?”
“So, you’ve noticed it, too?”
The worry had begun to feel like butterflies inside me and I’d been swatting away at them for days now. Thanks to Mom they were back with a flighty vengeance.
“She’s distracted. We need to help her get her life back on track.”
“I’m trying, but she has just lost her mother.”
“And her family home and her brother,” she corrected.
“Her brother was a fucking abusive asshole. She doesn’t miss him.”
Mom looked at me and whisper-shouted, “Oh, for heaven’s sake! She doesn’t miss him, miss him. She misses everything. Stop looking at me like I’ve just stepped off the silly step.”
In all honesty, there was no other way to look at her. There was no way she could be mourning a life that was so ugly and awful. “Get to the point, Ma.”
“She needs anchoring.”
“She needs to get back to school and finis
h her education.”
“Yes! But then what? That girl has never allowed herself to dream. She’s never had anything to look forward to aside from simply getting out.”
Mom could be a nut, but if there was one thing she understood, it was emotions.
“What do I do?”
“Give her the freedom to want anything from life. Give her your blessing to discover what she wants. Give her that safe and loving environment to dare to have a dream.”
I looked at the woman who had birthed me, raised me and let me do exactly that—have a dream and dare to live it in the form of becoming a mechanic with an MC—and knew she was right. “You’re right, thanks, Ma.”
“Of course I’m right. I’m your mother.” I took a step away from her. “Griffin?”
“Yeah?”
“Make sure you love her enough before you have this talk with her. If there’s a chance you don’t feature in that dream you’re forcing her to look for, then don’t do it.”
“Ma, when that girl bleeds, so do I. What I feel for her scares the fucking piss outta me. I’ll ask her the question and the only reason I won’t is if I think she won’t want to live that dream with me.”
Mom’s eyes welled up. “My boy is becoming a man, a responsible adult. Although, I could do without the cussing. Now go on, settle our girl.”
Our girl.
“Throw me together some snacks, will you? I have a plan.”
I took the bull by the horns and went straight to her.
“Let’s take the bike out?”
Gigi looked horrified.
“The bike? Don’t you have work today?”
“No, I don’t and yes, the motorcycle. Come on. Let me take you out for a little ride. You’ll love it.”
“Bikes kinda scare me, Gears.” I flopped down on the bed beside her where she’d been reading a dog-eared book.
“That’s nonsense.” I faked horrified outrage. “Come on. Let’s go.”
“Gears,” she whined as I dragged her ass off the bed. Fortunately, she was dressed in jeans and a sweater. I feared needing to get her up, dressed and then on the bike would have worked against me.
I could see she was a nervous wreck, so much so that when I handed her my spare helmet, her fingers were shaking so much she could barely do up the clasp.
“Hey, look at me,” I whispered as I got involved to help. “You’re are going to love it and I know this because I do. The minute you feel the freedom you’ll be kicking yourself for not begging me to do this sooner. All you have to do is climb on behind me, scoot close and wrap your arms around my middle.”
“Okay.” Her face went from apprehensive to determined.
I threw my leg over the seat and got my bike started, noticing that Gigi jumped a mile when the ignition lit and my motorcycle roared to life. She approached nervously as I reached back with a hand and indicated where she could put her foot. The bike bounced a little as she settled on the seat behind me.
“Come closer, baby.”
She shuffled a bit.
“A lot closer, baby.”
Her body shifted toward mine about an inch.
I reached behind with my free hand and scooped it around her back, dragging her forwards until her pussy was flush against my back. “That close, baby.” Her arms snaked around me and I patted her hands that were clasped so tightly together by my belly button that they were white. “Keep them there,” I shouted gently over the roar of the bike.
It was about twenty minutes into the ride that I felt her love and acceptance of bike freedom hit home. Her grip had loosened, she’d scooted as close as possible and her chin was resting on my shoulder. In my mirrors I could see the grin on her face.
It was magical.
This was another side to Gigi that I’d discovered.
Me.
Me and my love for her.
“We won’t be too much longer,” I told her, twisting my head a little so she could hear over the wind.
“I don’t care!”
I laughed and moved my hand to cover hers at my waist.
This was it.
Everything I had dreamed of and more about having a girl I loved on the back of my bike.
Another thirty minutes later and I pulled the bike to a stop far into the mountains by the side of a lake. The sun was shining and reflecting back at us, and like I’d hoped and prayed, there was no one here.
Gigi jumped off the bike enthusiastically. “Oh my God! That was freaking awesome. Like, I feel free.” She flung her arms in the air. “I swear to God I was flying.” Gone was the maudlin Gigi I’d had to watch suffer over the last week. She took her helmet off, fluffed her hair and placed it on the seat beside mine. “Whoa! Look at this place. It’s so pretty.”
“It is.”
I made quick work of opening up my paniers and grabbing the stuff mom had put together along with a blanket.
“Are we having a picnic?”
“I’m a cool ass biker. I don’t do picnics. I do road snacks.”
“Whatever.” She laughed, helping me straighten the blanket on the floor.
We ate the chips, popcorn and sandwiches, before supping down some drinks and then lying back.
Lying by her, I rolled onto my side to face her. She had her face pointed to the sky, wearing the happy smile that hadn’t yet ceased devouring her whole face. With all the beauty surrounding us, it was impossible to look anywhere else.
Gigi was the entire focus of my world.
“You come here often?” she asked out of the blue, still not looking at me.
“That is some cheesy pick up line, babe.”
Finally, her head titled my way. “I meant, have you brought other girls on your bike up here.”
I turned my whole body her way, shuffling closer to her so we were touching, before putting my hand on her cheek to ensure I kept her attention.
“I have never brought a girl up here and hear me when I say this, no girl has ever been on the back of my bike.”
“Alright then.” She brushed it off.
I hated that she didn’t hear what I was telling her.
I climbed on top of her.
“No, babe,” I whispered, looking into her eyes. “Hear me. No one has been important enough in my life to let them ride with me.”
Gigi looked at me, the seriousness of my words creeping into understanding. “Really?”
I kissed her gently on the corner of her lips. “You’re the only girl. I’ve never felt the urge to share this with anyone else.”
“That means a lot, doesn’t it?”
“It means a fuck of a lot, Gigi.”
Her head raised the few inches necessary to put her lips on mine this time. “Thank you,” she whispered.
“What do you want, Gigi? If you could have anything right now, what would it be?”
“I have everything I need,” she shot back immediately. “I’m safe and I feel loved.”
I started to play with the hem of her sweatshirt, rubbing my finger gently along the skin of her tummy. “You’ll always be safe and loved with me. But there’s more to living a life and I can’t give that to you unless I know what it is. What do you want?”
I watched as she went inside her own head for a moment.
“I want to work with kids. I want to show them that even if life isn’t good at home, there’s someone out there who can help them become the very best version of themselves.”
Fuck. She was so selfless. What she wanted was brave, because I knew that if she had her way and worked with kids, she’d feel each and every sadness they did. What she wanted was the toughest thing in the world and I needed her to understand that.
“Sounds like a tough job, baby.”
“It wouldn’t be a job. It would be a calling. If I can help even one kid feel a little less afraid or a little more loved, then I will have succeeded. I never want anyone to have no choice in life. I want to be able to show them other choices.”
Kissing her wasn�
��t an option; it was a need, a command my body ordered of its own desire. When I pulled away from her, she looked me square in the eye. “I know I can do this. I know it will be tough, but the greatest things are hard fought for.”
“It’s gonna be tough, but we’ll make it work.”
I felt the conviction in her plan.
“We?” she asked nervously.
“We. I put you on my bike, baby. I want you in my life. I want you to be my old lady. I want to know that I’m helping you build your future for us. Tell me, do you see me in this future?”
“I do. I mean, I pray for it,” she admitted.
“It’s gonna be our future. I look ahead and see us married with a couple of kids.”
“I want that.” A tear rolled down her cheek.
“I want to give you that.”
“Someday, when you least expect it, I will beg you to marry me, Gigi, and I will feel like the luckiest fucker on the planet when you say yes. We may not have a lot, but what we have will be ours. I’m gonna plant my babies in your belly and be amazed at seeing them grow.” Her eyes were fully wet now, but I wasn’t worried. The smile on her face told me she wanted it, too. “I want that life with you so much it scares me fucking silly.”
“We’re going to have that life, Gears. I want everything you just said so bad.”
“Then that’s what we’re gonna do. You finish school and work on giving all those needy kids out there a safe haven, and I’m gonna love seeing you do it.”
This time Gigi attacked me.
I let her kiss and devour me until we’d changed positions and she was straddling me.
I was so hard it physically hurt for her to grind on my dick.
“Fuck. Need you.”
“Need you right back, Gears.”
Gigi stood up and removed her jeans and panties as quickly as she could, while I lay back watching the view. Seeing her thighs pebble with goose bumps and her pussy all swollen did not help my own situation. Without any request, I undid my belt buckle, shoved my own clothes down and took my dick in hand. Gigi was still towering over me, watching as I stroked myself. “Climb on, baby.”
“I’m going to get wet every time you say that to me.”
Gigi: A Black Sentinels MC Novel Page 16