It’s hard to explain to people who don’t understand, so I don’t even try anymore. “You’re right.” I mean, maybe she’s right. Dagger told Marissa that Luke isn’t dating, and I couldn’t figure out why. Months have passed and I’ve excluded him from my life completely. Maybe if I brought him back the ring, there would be closure. “I want to do it in person though. Which will complicate me not thinking about him, but maybe it will help him move on.” I set it on the mat next to me.
Marissa throws a hand on her hip. I pretend to be really into my stretching, sitting with my legs straight in front of me, I lean over to grab my toes, hiding my face. “I can give it to Dagger.” Of course, she has a perfectly acceptable alternative. I’ve only been into work once since I got home. Dad drove me there for the Medal of Honor ceremony. I didn’t see Luke there, but it was because he was doing his best to hide. Dagger told Marissa he was there. I haven’t even seen his face since they airlifted me off our boat to go to the closest military hospital.
“Like you said, I’m mobile now. I need to do this on my own.” I eye the ring next to my thigh and exhale deeply. “I was planning on going out today to look for a new condo. I’ll bring it to him.”
Marissa sighs. “Do you want me to come with you? I can drive.”
I shake my head. “You’ve done enough. If you want to do something for me today, my laundry is full.” I peek up at her and she’s grinning and scowling.
“You’re lucky I love you.”
“I know.” Swallowing hard, I pop up and grab the ring and slide it into the back pocket of my running shorts. There’s a full-length mirror hanging on the wall and I catch my reflection. No need to change, I surmise. This is me. The physical therapy has been brutal, but I’ve kept all of my upper body strength with a pull-up bar Marissa let me hang in the hallway. Dad helped me put together a workout I could do at home with equipment he procured for me.
“What time will you be back?” Worry creases her forehead.
Standing in front of her, I set my hands on her shoulders. “No need to worry about me. I’m fine. Look at me. A little funky in the headspace, but I’ve been cleared to go back to work. Stop worrying. Worry about the date with your monster boyfriend tonight. I still can’t believe he’s taking you on a proper date. Like one where you wear clothes and act proper.”
She shrugs. “Can’t have sex the full twenty-four hours in a day.”
“Brag about it, why don’t you,” I counter.
“Why don’t you go on a date with someone, Aarabelle. Like a normal guy. Or not even a date, maybe you just play catch the kitty with a guy?”
“Ew, Marissa.” I release her shoulders. “That was the grossest thing you’ve ever said.” Grabbing my purse, I dig out my keys and she walks me to the door. There’s a little kink in my bad ankle, so I roll it before laying a hand on the front door. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me in any capacity. Hear me?”
She nods. “I might mix your whites and your colors.”
“You’re so feisty today. I like it,” I say.
She hugs me and shuts the door on my face. Always a goodbye before things get too emotional. We’re not those type of women, and for that I’m grateful. There’s never anything heavy unless it’s unavoidable. I think about what I’m going to say to Luke when I get to his house. It’s Sunday. His holy day. It’s late enough in the day that his family should be gone. If they’re not, that’s okay, too. This won’t take long. My fingers tap along to the beat of some mindless song on the radio as I pull up to the tall iron gates. Once my refuge, they’re now my enemy—representing sand that slipped through my hands.
Jonas is at the security box window as I pull up. His bushy brows furrow as he looks at my license plate and then sees me.
I lift up a hand in a little wave. “Hey Jonas.” My voice cracks as I say his name and roll to a stop. I think about all of the things he witnessed, but has to pretend he didn’t. A dutiful guard. Just like Hart always said. “Does he have company? I need to drop something off if he’s home.”
“Hold on a second,” he says, tone robotic. He slides the window closed and pops back out a second later. “There were big changes recently, so I wanted to make sure we’re clear. Your name is on the always list, so let me open the gate for you, Ms. Dempsey.”
A knot forms in my throat. The always list. All of a sudden, I’m not sure I’m prepared to be on his always list. “Thank you.”
The heavy gate creaks as it opens. Jonas wishes me well, and I roll into the expanse of Luke’s property. I go slowly, because now I need more time. What if he uses his dimples? What if he tells me he loves me? Asks me to marry him again? Says all the right things like he’s so excellent at? I can’t resist. I correct myself. Old Aara couldn’t resist. Now I have to. The fledgling relationship made so many waves at the Teams that Lt. Williams basically forbade it from happening again. Not that it was surprising, because there was a loophole. If two SEALs are married, the relationship is acceptable. That doesn’t cancel the fact that he has a pregnant ex. The truth was, I couldn’t reconcile my Luke with the one he was before me. I can’t compete with his child’s mother, nor would I want to.
My thoughts turn to dust, as I see the yellow Lambo idling in front of the side garages. He must have just gotten home. I cut my lights. It’s a good thing the driveway is long. From my position in the circular driveway, there’s no way he can see me unless he decides to enter through the front door. He exits the car and walks around to the passenger side to open the door. If minutes ago I was thinking of the best of Luke Hart, what I’m seeing now is the absolute worst. Aurora Ball steps out of his car and teeters around, her arm linked with his as they walk into the garage bay. I lose my breath and fail to catch it before the tears sneak out of the corner of my eyes and roll down my face.
How could he do this? Anyone but her. Anyone. I was wrong to come here. Hart never needed closure. That was some pretend scenario I made up in my mind to placate myself. To keep my subconscious from replicating what’s happening in front of me right now. I lean my head against the steering wheel and let out a sob. I should leave the ring by his front door, but I can’t chance coming face to face with them. I’ll never recover from it. Instead, I pull around and leave. I try my best to smile at Jonas as he opens the gate, but it’s a half-assed attempt at best. His face looks more weary and worried than usual as I pull away and into traffic.
As if to taunt me from the depths of heartbreak, Henry Durnin’s voice cuts my sobbing. His newest single that’s completely overplayed, but also insanely catchy, echoes the cab of my car. He’s talking about losing the only woman he’s ever loved. When I hear him sing, I can see his jaw, I can envision his eyes meeting mine. I relive the moment he picked me over and over. Because I expected the worst from Henry, I think I fault him for Aurora less. Luke? I didn’t see that coming. Never in a million years would I believe he’d be with a woman like her.
I remind myself it’s not about me anymore. Aurora might be how he’s moving on. Marissa’s suggestion of dating looks better and better. Just to forget for at least a little while that my entire heart is trapped within walls I can no longer enter. I blow out a breath and hum along to this dumb ass song sung by a dumb ass man. I pull into a beautiful condo complex not far from the one I lived at before. I put the car in park, leaving my hand on the shifter.
I do the unthinkable. Not because of Aurora Ball, either. I call Henry Durnin because I can’t be broken by the same person twice. Not in the same way.
“Henry, it’s me.” I mumble the words when he picks up in his cheery English accent.
There’s a long pause. “Aara, love. Is that you? I got a new phone.”
“I know. Mom gave me your number the other day. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Of course not. How are you feeling? Is the foot all better? Are you in town?” I already know he’s in town. When Mom visits, she’ll tell me stupid things I typically wouldn’t remember. Funny what being trapped in the hou
se recuperating does to you. His biggest California concert is tomorrow in the largest arena in San Diego.
“It’s better. Back to work soon. Thanks for asking. I wanted to talk to you if you were open to it.” I suck up my pride. “I know you’re playing tomorrow night.”
He groans. “Oh, I’m sorry, love. I do play tomorrow night. I’m in rehearsal now until the show tomorrow. I’ll be so knackered, I’ll take a quick nap in between.” He pauses as redness floods my face. How could I be so stupid? “Come. Why don’t you come to the show? I can get you tickets or you can stand off to the side of the stage, I’ll leave a badge for you at the box office. Wait for me in my dressing room after the show. It may take a while for me to get there, but I’d be chuffed if I saw you there at the end of the night.” I stay silent, and he adds, “No one will know except my guys. I won’t tell a soul. I promise, love.”
The last love did it. “Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
“Hey, that’s awesome. ‘Night, Aarabelle.”
I hang up the phone. Instead of making me feel like I’m making progress, I feel like I just took seven steps backward into the pits of self-conscious, basic bitch territory.
I twist the lanyard wrapped around my neck as I watch Henry finish his set from stage right. The security guard gave me a metal folding chair, but I chose to stand because I can. My stomach is in knots. Not because I’m nervous about what’s going to happen backstage. I’ve had sex with Henry. I know what it will feel like. The things he’ll say and his favorite places to touch. I’m scared that I won’t be able to stop pretending he’s Luke. There’s only one person I want even though I shouldn’t.
Henry sings, both hands owning the microphone. Sweat is dripping down his face, and the man possesses the fucking audience. That’s something, I think. Not something I particularly care about, mind you, but it’s something. I came here straight after work. I saw Luke from afar on base. He was getting a coffee, and I was leaving my morning meeting with Lt. Williams. He didn’t see me. Luckily our uniforms help me blend in. Tears pricked my eyes as my mind played back Aurora on his arm. The same woman who infiltrated my former life, gets to own the life I almost had. It’s not fair. Not when my heart literally bleeds for the man. She’ll make a better stepmom than I will, I muse. She’ll be able to stay home when Luke is deployed.
Henry looks stage right and his gaze sears into mine. He smiles. No dimples. He swings his guitar to the front of his body and the thousands of fans screaming his lyrics sing louder as he plays the song. I don’t hear the words anymore. I only study him to figure out how he caught me. Why I fell for the trap and gave him any of my heart at all. Swallowing hard, I offer a smile and he finishes the show. His security told me he has VIP meet and greet for thirty minutes, but after that he will return to his dressing room. I pad to the back, and while the whole thing is impressive. He is headlining his own world tour. He has fans, there is VIP, and people guarding his life, I know he’s not mine. That’s why I came here. Because I knew I’d leave the same woman who entered. He can’t change me. Not like my true love has. My stomach roils as I push into his dressing room.
“What are you doing here?” a male voice growls into the dimly lit room filled with smoke. It’s a mix of weed and cigarette smoke. It’s Chase.
“I could ask you the same.”
He laughs. “This is my lane, military girl. What are you doing here? Does Durnin know you’re here?”
“He invited me,” I bite back. A beautiful woman exits the bathroom in the corner of the room, she has a baby swaddled in her arms. Somehow, and I don’t know the reason behind it, I know who this woman is.
She sees me. “Oh. What are you doing here?”
She soothes the fussy baby with a green pacifier in one finger. “Henry invited me. Told me to wait for him back here after the show.” I finger the lanyard holding the laminated card with my name. To prove I have permission to be in this shady ass space I’d never want to be in any other circumstance. “We were going to talk while he was in town.”
“Does your boy know you’re here to talk to him?” Chase barks out, that twisted side grin, wide.
“I don’t have a boy. Or a man,” I say, fisting my hands by my sides. “What gave you that idea? Not talking to your boy very often, I take it?” I hope Luke cut him loose. I’ve never liked Chase, but seeing him here just confirms all my fears.
“Chantal, go grab me a drink,” he says, holding his hands up. “I’ll hold her.”
I swallow hard. “Chantal?” I eye the baby being passed. It’s swaddled tight, but I see little pink lips and a button nose. She’s adorable, but I can’t tell if she looks like Hart. Chase waves the smoke away before taking her into his arms, cradling her gently. He’s practiced. “Is that your baby then?” My voice shakes.
Chantal levels me with a gaze. “The baby always belonged to Chase,” she says. “Just wanted to get a little revenge is all. It worked, didn’t it? Luke is such an asshole. He deserved to be taught a lesson. Humans aren’t toys.”
My stomach sinks as I press my lips together. She’s obviously given birth recently. If she hadn’t, I’d probably take her out Street Fighter style on this dressing room floor. “You destroyed his life to teach him a lesson?”
She laughs. “Oh, honey. Destroyed his life? You sure are giving me a lot of credit, aren’t you? Do you know how many girls he fucked around with before you?”
“It was different with me,” I say, voice confident even if I’m bullshitting. “You were mad he didn’t feel the same way about you as you did about him so you told him it was his baby.” I pause, trying to compose my thoughts. “You know what? It doesn’t even matter. He’s with Aurora Ball now.”
Chantal crosses the room to pour a glass of champagne for Chase then hands it to him.
Chase chokes on the first sip. “You think he’s with Aurora?”
I lean back and forth from one foot to the other. “I saw her at his house.”
“Aurora was at his house last night because she’s got the clout to fix the fire at your condo complex. I asked her to step in, which she did gladly, because, well, she has a thing for Hart. She also owed me a favor. Her dad bought the whole company to make the charges go away. He paid double the worth, too—some sick amount of money. It cleared Chantal’s name in the process. I think he wanted to put in a golf course with time shares or something. Whatever. It all worked out. Like it always does when you know people and have money.”
I knew she was involved, but I guess the authorities came around to linking her to it somehow.
Chantal adds, “Aurora and her associates were having a meeting at Luke’s last night to settle everything and sign paperwork. Hart was pissed that Chase was the father. I think he wanted the baby to be his. He wanted something to hold on to after you left him high and dry.”
That’s a lie, I think. Luke wouldn’t want a baby until he’s good and ready.
“You burned my condo down, to prove what?”
She sighs and downs a glass of champagne. “That I could? I don’t have to answer to you. Chase owns Vichy in London,” Chantal says, smizing around her glass. The place Henry took Aurora. “He’s the one who got Henry the world tour. Worked his magic.”
“Before you give yourself any more undue credit, I didn’t know you were Henry’s ex, I just knew he played at my club and I made the connections. Aurora’s been an acquaintance for a long time. When I knocked Chantal up, I realized how obsessed with you Luke was and that’s when we had some fun. Hart’s been a real stick in the mud since you. We wanted to bring him back to life.”
I stagger backward toward the door. “Why was he friends with you? I don’t get it.”
“Our lifestyle is fast and rich. Everything and everyone is connected when you obtain a certain amount of wealth. Games look a little different from up here.”
“You fucked with his life,” I growl, angry tears pricking my eyes. “The air is the same everywhere, and Hart is nothing like you. Wh
at was the deal with Aurora? What did he do to fix your mess? To clear this bitch’s name? Tell me.” I’m yelling now, and the couple looks frightened—eyes wide. I’d never do anything because they have a baby, but I want them to feel fear. “Say it now.”
“Like I said, Aurora wants him,” Chase drawls, draining his glass, tapping the stem on the side of the sofa he’s sitting on. “He probably fucked her brains out. I would have.” He licks his lips and hands the baby back to Chantal. “No offense, babe,” he adds to Chantal who sits down, face contorted into a scowl. Chase stands. “But I wouldn’t know. He’s not talking to me and we aren’t friends anymore.”
I walk forward until I’m face to face with him. “Karma is a bitch.” I look down at Chantal. “I hope it eats you alive.”
Henry Durnin bursts in the door and closes it, locking it quickly. When he sees me, his whole face brightens. Then he sees Chase and Chantal. “Hi Aara. How are you?” To the other two, “Why are you two here? Get out of here. I thought I told you I didn’t want to hang out anymore.”
“That’s not how it works. You’re friends with us now,” Chase says. “Chantal wanted to show you our baby.”
The grimace falls from Henry’s face as he looks at the baby. “Cute,” he says, gaze flitting back to Chase. “Now get out. I promised Aara here that we’d talk.”
“Do you know what being friends with those people means? How much it’s going to cost you?” I ask Henry, hiking a thumb over my shoulder. “It’s pretty costly. And I loved the concert, Henry. It really was amazing and I’m proud of all you’ve accomplished, but I have to go. I’m late for something. Really late for something.”
Chase snarls, grabbing the bottle of Dom and bringing it up to his lips. After a long swallow, he says, “She has to go back to Luke Hart. Couldn’t figure out the truth even though it was right under her nose.”
I spin, aiming a finger at his mousy face. “You do not want to fuck with me. Do you understand?”
Legacy: A Salvation Society Novel Page 23