by Aimee Carter
“I’m always on babysitting duty.” She stepped beside me. “Who is that?”
“Greyson. My cousin.” It took me a moment to remember that until his older brother had been killed last year, Greyson had been the spare and had spent his life out of the public eye. I’d barely known anything about him before being Masked as Lila, and someone Elsewhere likely wouldn’t recognize him at all. “He’ll be Prime Minister next, after Daxton.”
“Right.” Hannah hesitated. “I’m sure we’ll meet him soon enough.”
“I hope not.” I set the picture frame down gently. The knowledge of what lay behind that photograph would have to be enough for now. Maybe later, when Hannah wasn’t trailing me, I would have the chance to sneak in and see Benjy’s face one last time.
Instead of leading me back out, Hannah remained standing in the room for a long moment, her gaze focused on me. “Whatever happened between you and Knox...I’m sure he had his reasons for it, and I hope you find it in yourself to forgive him. That kind of love is rare in this world, and if you’re lucky enough to find it...” Her lips pursed, and for a moment, she looked away. “You shouldn’t throw it away all because of a stupid mistake.”
I opened my mouth to tell her that it hadn’t been a mistake—that Knox had known exactly what he’d been doing when he’d pulled the trigger and murdered Benjy, but my protest died on my lips. Hannah was focused on something far beyond this room, and it was obvious we were no longer talking about me and Knox.
“I’ll talk to him once I’m settled,” I said, trying to sound like I was really considering the option. Inwardly I began to wonder if there wasn’t more to Hannah than I’d already assumed. Whoever she was thinking about, it was obvious it wasn’t her husband.
At last she led me to the grand staircase. The steps were cold and sharp, made of marble with no carpet to protect them, and as I followed Hannah down to the foyer, I fantasized about pushing Knox down the stairs. It would work just as well as a shard of glass to the throat, and this way, I could reasonably claim innocence. No doubt Hannah would suspect me, but without any proof...
Hannah knocked on the double doors that had remained shut throughout her tour. “Jonathan, Lila’s here.”
“Come in,” called a muffled voice. Hannah pushed the door open, revealing an office with a long desk in the middle and a pair of uncomfortable chairs facing it, clearly meant for guests. Mercer stood in front of a wall of wooden filing cabinets, and he hastily closed a middle drawer, locking it with something hanging from a cord. Before I could get a good look at it, he hung the cord around his neck and dropped the key underneath his shirt.
“Ah, Lila,” said Mercer, and he moved around his desk to join us. Kissing Hannah on the cheek, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders possessively before focusing on me. Up close, I could see the fine lines on his face and the bags under his eyes. He looked like he hadn’t slept in a week. “I’m so pleased you’ve decided to join us.”
“Thank you for inviting me,” I said, forcing a smile. Whether Mercer could tell or not, he didn’t seem to care.
“Lunch is about to be served,” said Hannah. She slumped underneath his weight, and though she snaked her arm around his waist, her hand was clenched in a fist. “Is Knox back from his hunt yet?”
The reminder of what had happened that morning made a block of ice form in my stomach, and I dug my nails into my palm. How could Hannah insist he loved me when he was in a forest nearby hunting three of the girls I’d shared a bunk with?
“He canceled,” said Mercer with a sigh. “Got an important note from D.C., something he had to take care of right away. I gave him use of your office for the morning.”
As Hannah’s displeasure settled clearly over her face, I struggled to hide my relief. There was still time to talk him out of it. I didn’t want to die, not until he was dead right alongside me, but if I could spare just one of those girls’ lives, it would be worth it.
“I take it he’ll be joining us for lunch, then,” said Hannah.
“I will,” said another voice from behind me—Knox. I stiffened and stayed still, refusing to turn around. “I see I’m not your only guest.”
“Lila decided to join us after all,” said Mercer. “It seems your allure was too much for her to resist.”
Knox chuckled, and I could feel his warmth directly behind me. His hands settled on my shoulders, and I struggled not to wince. “I’m sure it has less to do with me and more to do with the warmth and food.”
Mercer laughed as if this was some sort of hilarious joke—as if men and women in his section weren’t freezing to death at night and eating food most IIs wouldn’t serve to their pets. At least Hannah didn’t crack a smile as he led the way into the dining room, where a hot lunch of turkey, potatoes, crisp vegetables, and biscuits with gravy waited for us. Compared to the pale pancakes and questionable bacon I’d had for breakfast, it was a feast fit for a king.
Knox sat beside me at the table, and though I could feel his stare on me several times, I refused to look up from my plate. He and Mercer carried on a conversation about hunting—deer, I was relieved to figure out only a minute in—and later on, the various issues Mercer had been facing with Elsewhere lately.
“Everyone wants to be a guard,” he said. “We have to be careful who we pick—can’t put a weapon in the hands of anyone who might use it against us.”
“Is there some kind of test or screening you do?” said Knox as he dipped a bite of turkey and potato in gravy. “How do you determine the rebels from the obedient?”
“We watch them.” Mercer tapped his temple. “That’s what we do here—we watch. I know everything that goes on in this place. If anyone steps a toe out of line, I’m right there. Thinning the herd is important—without it, we’d be overcrowded, with too many mouths to feed and not enough beds.”
“Hence the nightly entertainment,” said Knox. Mercer nodded.
“It’s especially important during the cold months. Not many of the Ministers want to spent hours in subzero temperatures hunting, so we have to make do. We tend to receive an influx of citizens during that time period, too—Hannah suspects it has to do with people growing more desperate during the winter. So we have to get creative. Anyone with a rare or needed blood type is sent to processing, of course, but the rest—the more miserable they are, the more willing they are to play nice. Make an example of a few, and the rest fall into place.”
He said this all in a tone that implied he was talking about cattle, not human beings with lives and feelings. I gripped my fork, resisting the urge to leap over the table and stab him in the eye. Across from me, Hannah looked pale.
“Do you have security cameras set up so there’s hard evidence against them?” said Knox.
Mercer snorted. “We don’t need hard evidence. The moment they step foot here, their lives are a privilege, not their right. But, yes,” he added. “We have cameras set up around the administrative and manufacturing areas, and regular patrols in the residential quarters. We also have informants—most of our information comes directly from them.”
Informants like Scotia, who had been all too happy to rat out Chelsea, Maya, Poppy, and the others. “What do they get in return?” I blurted.
Mercer’s gaze fell on me, and the corners of his eyes crinkled. “My favor, of course. Privileges the others don’t. We ensure they’re never at risk for being selected for hunts. And we choose our guards from our pool of informants, so it’s quite a lucrative choice for them. Most days we have so many willing to inform on others that we have no need for security.”
“How do you know they’re telling the truth?” I said.
Mercer blinked. “The truth about what?”
“About what they saw. How do you know they’re not just making it up to get on your good side?”
He shrugged and stabbed at a carrot. “Doe
s it matter? Either way, it helps thin the herd. As I said, their lives are a privilege, to be taken away at our discretion. We don’t need a reason. Most of them have already committed crimes after all.”
So that was it, then. The prisoners weren’t people to the Mercers. They were something to be managed—a product that, in the end, they would send back to society in pieces, meant to save the lives of citizens who hadn’t been desperate enough to steal an orange or a loaf of bread.
“I need to go to my bunk,” I said, standing abruptly. “I have to pick up my things before the other girls take them.”
“If they do, we’ll find them. Don’t worry,” said Mercer, but I shook my head.
“I’ll be quick.”
“I’ll escort her,” said Knox, and he folded his napkin and stood, too. “I’d like to take a look around without the guards hovering anyway. See what it’s really like for the prisoners.”
“Of course,” said Mercer, though he sounded dubious. “If anyone gives you trouble, I’ll make sure they’re handled.”
Anyone would have to be suicidal to hassle Knox, a Minister’s son, but he nodded anyway. And though I would’ve rather chewed off my fingers than let him touch me again, he set his hand on my shoulder and guided me out of the room.
We dressed in coats and boots in silence, and it wasn’t until we were halfway down the Mercer’s drive that he spoke. “Are you all right? You look terrible.”
I gaped at him. “Am I all right? Today, after I watched you pick out your prey among my bunk mates, I handled eleven human hearts—still warm, by the way. Yesterday a pack of girls beat me up, and a guard shot a girl named Chelsea in the head because I tried to help her. The day before that, my supposed fiancé killed my boyfriend, and the Prime Minister tried to break my spine. Which part of that is supposed to make me feel like anything other than shit?”
Knox stared straight ahead as we reached the Mercers’ gate. The guards had dispersed, and no one else was stupid enough to linger nearby. “The girls are fine. I didn’t go hunting.”
“Yeah, because Daxton had something more important for you to do,” I spat. “Why didn’t you pick me?”
He raised an eyebrow and finally glanced at me. “Do you want me to kill you?”
“You promised you would. You swore you’d put a bullet in my brain before you ever let me wind up here.”
“Is that what you really want?”
“I want you to stop playing games and tell me the truth for once.” My eyes began to burn, and despite my best efforts at bottling my fury, my throat tightened. “Why did you do it? If you wanted to punish me, then you should’ve killed me instead. Benjy never did anything to you. He didn’t deserve to die.”
Knox pushed the gate open for me, and it was only through a supreme act of willpower that I resisted the urge to knock his head into one of the spikes. “I did what I did to save your life.”
Tears blurred my vision, and I wiped my eyes angrily. “You think I care about my life anymore?”
“You should,” he said. “It’s the only one you’ve got.”
Before I could stop myself, I drew my arm back and punched him directly over the heart. My wrist buckled under the force of it, bending awkwardly, and pain shot up my arm. “You’re sick,” I said, my voice breaking. “You’re no better than the rest of them. You don’t care about anyone but yourself, do you? You didn’t just kill Benjy—you betrayed the Blackcoats, too. How many people are dead because of you, Knox? A dozen? A hundred? A thousand? How many people are going to die before it’s all over because you care more about your own worthless life than the freedom of millions?”
His expression remained blank. “Believe what you want, but I did what I did because it was my only option. Sometimes pawns have to be sacrificed for the game.”
“I’m not a pawn, and my life isn’t yours to sacrifice.”
“No, it isn’t,” he agreed. “You did a fantastic job of securing that fate for yourself. And for Benjy.”
“Say his name again, and I’ll show you sacrifice.”
Knox sighed, and for the first time since I’d spotted him the evening before, he looked like the same Knox who had pretended to care about me in D.C. “I’m sorry, Kitty. I really am. If I could’ve done it any other way...”
“But you didn’t,” I said. “And now this is my life. Thank you for that, by the way. I’m sure I’ll find some way to repay you eventually.”
“I’m sure you will, too,” he said with a resignation I didn’t expect. I eyed him, and a few seconds passed. My fingers grew numb in the cold, and I shoved my hands in my pockets.
“Why are you even here, Knox? If you want to kill me, just get it over with already. Stop playing with your food.”
He tilted his head and peered at me curiously. “Is that how you really see me? As one of them?”
“What do you think?”
Knox raked his leather-gloved hand through his hair. “I needed an excuse to be here, Kitty. When I saw an opportunity to gain Daxton’s trust and get you out of D.C., I had to take it. I had no other choice, not if I wanted to keep you safe.”
“This is what you call keeping me safe?” I gestured wildly. “Do you have any idea how many people have threatened to kill me in the past day?”
“But they won’t, because you’re Lila Hart, and even if they hate you, they value their life more,” said Knox. “The Mercers took you in at my request. They’ll continue to keep you safe until everything’s over.”
“Until what’s over?” I said. “What’s going on, Knox? Why was Augusta keeping a file on me? What’s in it that makes me so important that you have to babysit me even after you’ve had me arrested?”
He shook his head. “I’m keeping you safe for the same reason you were chosen to replace Lila in the first place. But this is bigger than you, Kitty, and right now, all you need to know is that you’re my excuse to be here.”
“Why? Because it gives you the perfect opportunity to betray the Blackcoats a second time and make yourself look good in front of Daxton?”
He eyed me. “Who told you?”
I clenched my jaw. As angry as I was at Scotia, I couldn’t betray her and the Blackcoats here, not to Knox. “You answer me first. What’s going on? What plan is so huge that it’s worth Benjy’s life?”
Knox shook his head. “I want to show you something.”
I snorted and wiped my nose with my sleeve. “I’m not going anywhere with you.”
“Yes, you are.” He fished a tissue from his black wool coat and offered it to me. “Just because you’re here doesn’t give you the right to act like anything less than a Hart.”
“I’m not a Hart, or have you forgotten?” I shot, snatching the tissue from him. Instead of using it, I stuffed it in my pocket.
“You’re more of a Hart than the rest of them combined,” he said. “Now come on. This won’t wait forever.”
To my surprise, he took my hand, his grip like iron around my fingers, but not tight enough to hurt. Just tight enough to make it impossible for me to wriggle away. I briefly considered causing a fuss, but he was clearly a visitor, and I still wore the red jumpsuit that marked me a prisoner. There was no way I was going to win that war.
Instead of leading me toward the bunkhouses, Knox made a sharp right toward the edge of Elsewhere, where I’d met Elliott the night before. It was a short walk to the fence, and he led me down the length of it to the nearest guard tower. It was made of stone and metal, rising above the rest of Elsewhere to give the guards patrolling along the perimeter a clear view of everything that was happening.
“I’m sure it’s no prettier up here than it is down there,” I said as Knox led me up the winding staircase.
“You’d be surprised,” he said mildly. When we reached the door that opened onto the top of the tower,
he paused. “Everything I do is for the greater good, Kitty. I hope you understand that, because I need you to trust me.”
“Then I guess you’re shit out of luck, because if you think I’m ever going to trust you again, you’re delusional,” I said. He shrugged.
“Maybe so, but I’d like you to keep an open mind regardless.”
He pushed open the door before I could reply. Despite the heavy clouds, the light hurt my eyes, and I blinked.
And then I blinked again.
And a third time.
“What?” I said breathlessly, and this time there was no holding back the flood of tears.
Standing on the circular platform, wearing an orange jumpsuit, was Benjy.
XII
GUARDED
I didn’t remember crossing the platform. One second I was standing in the doorway beside Knox, and the next I was in Benjy’s arms, sobbing into his shoulder.
“Shh, you’re okay. It’s okay,” he murmured in my hair. “I’m right here. Everything’s going to be fine.”
Hearing his voice again was enough to make up for everything that had happened the past two days, and suddenly the part of me that had gone numb the moment Knox had put that bullet into Benjy came alive again, flooding me with a rush of uncontrollable emotions I couldn’t begin to sort. Relief—elation—terror he would be taken from me again—and the crushing reality that Benjy was here, in Elsewhere, and didn’t have the face of a Hart to protect him.
“What—what’s going on?” I managed to choke out half a minute later. I didn’t pull away from Benjy, but I did glance to the side where Knox stood. “How is this even possible? I saw you kill him. I saw it.”
“What you saw was a plan we concocted months ago, in case Daxton decided to get rid of you permanently,” said Knox. “I knew the only thing he would accept in place of your death was making you watch Benjy die and having to live with that memory.”