by Danni Roan
***
Ruth stood at the counter talking with Mrs. Scripts. The petite, dark-haired woman barely cleared the long counter but smiled at her brightly. Ruth had found several items she liked, including a set of simple tin mugs, plates, and utensils. Perhaps Olive or Rosa, the chief cook at the Hampton House, would teach her to prepare some simple meals, and she could enjoy a quiet romantic evening with her husband on occasion.
“Do you think this yellow fabric will do?” she asked studying what she had collected.
“I agree,” Mrs. Scripts said brushing a lock of dark hair behind her ear. “This yellow and white gingham will make lovely, serviceable curtains. I’m sure Dar will be pleased with whatever you do.”
“Thank you,” Ruth grinned. “It’s so nice to be able to step out on my own and do things. I never knew it would feel so liberating to walk down the street on my own.”
“Well you do be careful and keep your wits about you,” Mrs. Script said. “Folks are good enough here in Needful, but sometimes them young men get a little wound up or drunk and lose their better judgment.”
“I’ll watch,” Ruth agreed, “but I don’t suppose I’m in any danger in the middle of the day. Besides I met Sheriff Gaines on my walk over and the town seemed quiet.”
“You mean Spencer,” Mrs. Script smiled as she packaged Ruth’s items into a small box. “He’s a good man and watchful. I’m sure he’s keeping an eye out for you even now, though you won’t know it. Between him and his brother Dan, our mayor, Needful is set to be a fine town one day.”
“I like it already,” Ruth laughed. “It feels so open and friendly. I hope in time I’ll make many friends here.”
“I’m sure you will,” the shopkeeper said. “I feel like I belong here in Needful more than any other place I ever lived,” she added. “It’s like we’re a part of something important, and Lord willing, the town will be a home and haven to many souls.”
Ruth nodded understanding what Mrs. Script meant. She had needed a new home, a place where she could be more than anyone ever expected she could be. Her parents had been overprotective at best, downright restrictive at worst. Now she was free and would live the way she wanted to.
The door banged open and Darwin stepped inside sending thrills all the way to Ruth’s toes, until the scowl on his face dashed them away, like icy water on flames.
“What’s the meaning of traipsing all over town on your own,” the man barked, his gray eyes flashing. “It’s not safe for a woman to be out here on her own. You should have asked,” he finished storming across the store.
“What?” Ruth blinked at the man. “I only came to get a little fabric,” she spluttered. “I didn’t do anything wrong.”
“You’re my wife now,” Darwin growled marching forward and taking her arm as she snatched her packages from the counter. “I don’t want you running all over kingdom come without me. Do you understand?”
Ruth skipped a step trying to keep up as her new husband dragged her around a table full of dry goods and out the door into the afternoon sun.
“Darwin,” she pleaded, “slow down. I can’t keep up,” but the man continued on pulling her in his wake as prying eyes turned their way.
As they made the turn toward the Livery, Ruth leaned back digging her heels in the dirt and snatching her arm from the hostlers grasp. “I am no man’s chattel,” she snapped her temper rising. “I didn’t come all the way to Texas to be treated like some wayward child who can’t find her toys in the nursery. I’m a grown woman, and I’ll be treated like one.”
Darwin turned reaching for Ruth’s arm again his heart rate jumping again. Didn’t she understand that he was only looking out for her? That he wanted to keep her safe?
“It isn’t safe for decent women to be out in town on their own,” he said.
“Oh it’s not isn’t it!” Ruth shouted hugging her belongings tight. “Then you’d better go collect all the other ones as well,” she ground squinting at him as all the repressed rebellion of years boiled over. “Mrs. Scripts goes about her business and Mrs. Gaines as well. I even saw the preacher’s pretty wife out for a walk.”
“They aren’t my wife,” Darwin spat. “You’re my responsibility and I’m lookin’ out for you.”
“And who asked you too,” Ruth shot back clutching her package to her smoke blue smock. “I didn’t escape one prison only to be locked away again.”
Silence descended on the couple like a lead weight and Darwin gaped staring at Ruth who turned on her heel marching toward their home without a single word of explanation. He could think what he would about her, but she was done with this conversation.
Darwin stood, still and stunned as his once cheerful wife stomped away toward his little house. How had she changed so much from the sweet woman in his arms last night to this sharp tongued harpy? Had he married a shrew? Had she deceived him? And most importantly what did she mean by leaving one prison behind? A cold shiver raced down his spine, and Darwin knew he wasn’t brave enough to follow her the rest of the way home.
Chapter 10
Ruth stepped into the empty house as tears began to fill her eyes. She wasn’t going to be cloistered like some helpless woman in her new home. Perhaps she should have told Darwin where she was going, but he shouldn’t have berated her that way. Nothing had happened. She had made the trip to the general store unmolested and in no danger at all.
Placing her packages on the trunk by the fire place she pulled off her bonnet and turned waiting for her husband to enter. She would explain herself to him. Make him understand that she needed the freedom she had longed for, for so long. Surely he would understand.
Brushing a tear from beneath her spectacles, she waited, but Darwin didn’t appear. Perhaps instead of falling into his arms like a lovesick schoolgirl the night before, they should have waited, talking and getting to know each other.
Plopping on the bench and watching the door, Ruth twisted her hands together. She hadn’t wanted to wait. It felt like her whole life had been spent waiting and now was her chance to embrace life.
“I shouldn’t have shouted at him,” she said, smoothing her skirt with a sad sigh, lifting her eyes to the still empty doorway as tears began once more. She had been married all of one day and had already upset her husband. Perhaps her parents were right, and she wasn’t suited for anything but a quiet life with them. She was too rash, too impulsive, too hopeful.
“Dear God,” she said dropping her head and letting the tears splatter onto her dark skirts. “Please don’t let me have ruined everything already,” she pleaded. “I know I’m a silly woman, but I want a chance at love. I want to be a good wife and a friend to Darwin.”
Dashing at her tears Ruth lifted her chin, her hazel eyes filling with determination as she forced the doubts away. She had been strong enough to set out for Needful on her own, and she was strong enough to be a good wife to Darwin. Rising from the bench she gathered her packages picking through them until she had what she needed. She had decided to make curtains for the windows that flanked each side of the wide-open door, and she would do it.
For far too long she had been told she ‘couldn’t’ but now, here in Needful, she would show everyone she ‘could’. Even if it cost her everything, Ruth Warthan-Rivers would be her own woman, and what she wanted right now was to see a set of cheerful curtains add color and privacy to her little home. If Darwin Rivers wanted to be mad at her, he could be mad. She would not give up the independence she risked everything to find.
Threading her needle Ruth settled on the bench once more and began to hem each of the sections of cloth she had purchased. Once Darwin saw that she could be a good wife and homemaker, he would trust her to go to town on her own. She would show him that she had his best interest at heart with her little excursion and that a man who was already busy with his own responsibilities shouldn’t need to follow his wife about town.
Setting aside her anger and hurt Ruth began to hum, her usual cheery nature asserting
itself as she kept a close watch on each stitch. There was so much she didn’t know about being a wife. So much she needed to learn, but one lesson life had taught her all too well was that if you didn’t stand up for yourself, others would bend you to their will. This was her marriage, her new home, and a place to become the woman she had always dreamed of being. Today was the first step in the rest of her life with Darwin, and even if he never loved her, she was determined he would recognize that she was a woman with her own mind, her own desires and her own dreams.
Pausing in her steady stitch, a skill learned through long hours of charity work with her mother, Ruth glanced at the door again admitting she wanted nothing more than to see the handsome hostler step inside and smile at her the way he had the day before.
***
Darwin finished mucking out the stalls, his once happy mood turned to dust. Hanging the pitchfork on a hook in the wall, he stepped outside stretching to ease tired muscles.
His wife’s final words had disturbed him more than he wanted to admit. What had she meant about a prison? Was the woman he had wedded and bedded the day before a criminal? The questions swirled in his mind filling his heart with dark shadows and darker doubts.
Walking to the water trough and pump Darwin worked the handle until cold water poured forth and he drank deeply splashing the water on his face and washing his neck.
He should go home. He should speak to the woman and find out why she had been so angry with him. She was his wife, and he only wanted her to be safe. The more he thought about it the more he fretted and something nagged at him.
Looking around the stable yard he saw no one else. He needed someone to talk to someone who would listen and not judge.
Turning toward the street Darwin let his feet trod the familiar path he had taken so many times before, as his mind turned over the dark thoughts once more.
The boardwalk clattered under his booted feet and in the street a horse trotted by kicking up little puffs of dusts with each step. A hot sun beat down on his head and the hostler licked his lips wishing for something.
“Dar!” a familiar voice called as Darwin pushed through the batwing doors and headed for the bar. He hadn’t been in the building since the stormy night he’d made a fool of himself over a girl. “Haven’t seen you here in a while,” the bartender drawled pulling a beer from a tapped barrel. “I heard you got hitched.”
Darwin nodded taking the offered glass and gulping down a third of the frothy drink. The bitter taste tingled on his tongue, and he suddenly remembered the way his lips had tingled at Ruth’s kisses the night before.
“I did,” Darwin said setting the mug back on the bar. “She’s a smart little thing. We just got married yesterday.”
“She can’t be that nice if you’re over here then,” a rowdy cowhand called making others in the establishment laugh.
Darwin scowled looking down at the drink before him, then up at the bartender’s passive face. Shifting uncomfortably Darwin turned his back to the men behind him and half faced the door. The tiny player piano missed a note and he flinched knowing the battered piano could sound far better.
His eyes drifted across the street and along a bit to where the corner of the church was just visible, and the beer soured in his stomach.
“Thanks,” he drawled tossing a coin on the bar and walking back out the doors. He had chosen the wrong place to seek help, but now his eye was fixed on the prize.
“Preacher,” Darwin’s voice echoed through the silent chapel as he stepped into the church a moment later, but no one replied. The room was still, cool, and empty, but Darwin traveled half way down the aisle and took a seat, looking up to where preacher Brandon spoke each week.
A simple wooden cross graced a small stand where the preacher placed his bible and notes, and Darwin’s eyes fixed on it. It had been such a short time; he wasn’t sure exactly what to do. The cross was so simple so straight forward, and Darwin again accepted the fact that when he’d prayed with the preacher that soggy night his heart had changed, but that didn’t tell him what to do.
“Lord,” Darwin’s voice seemed loud in his own ears and he quieted speaking in a soft whisper. “I don’t know what to do about my wife.”
The hostler sat there for several moments not sure what he expected as silence surrounded him, yet he waited hoping something would guide him, but as the sun moved onward in its track, he was no closer to knowing what to do. Instead he kept seeing Ruth’s face, her quick grin, her bright eyes, and her warm kisses. None of them matched what he would expect of a convict of any kind.
It was obvious from there joining the night before that she had never been with a man before so she wasn’t a loose woman. What had she meant? What prison had she escaped?
Dropping his head into his hands, Darwin closed his eyes wishing for answers. Longing to know what to do to mend the rift between him and the wife he had waited for so long. An orphan, Darwin had set out on his own as no more than a boy. At twelve he had signed on to any job he could find and had started by cleaning barns in a big city.
Over the years he had drifted, wandering from job to job and town to town until he’d ended up in a rebel command battling for life and limb in a war he didn’t understand.
Captured, he had endured imprisonment with the Northern Army only to be released, as lost and alone as ever, when the war ended.
Weary, worried, and uncertain Darwin sprawled out on the bench and drifted off to sleep hoping that closing his eyes and putting his thoughts to rest would give him some answers. He didn’t want to be alone anymore. He wanted. He wanted love.
Chapter 11
“You have to take him,” a rumbling female voice echoed from behind the closed door. “I already have five of my own to feed, clothe, and get through this mess.”
“I can’t take him.” This time a man’s voice countered the raspy female from a moment ago. “My wife is convinced there’s something wrong with the boy. He’s quiet, moody, and uncooperative.”
“You mean he’s got a mind of his own and doesn’t speak until he’s thought things through is what he has.” The female voice echoed again.
Darwin went to his closet, his feet silent on the familiar floor of his mother’s small cabin. The house had been quiet until his mother’s brother and his late father’s sister had arrived.
His mother had succumbed to the consumption or tuberculoses as the doctors all called it, less than a week ago, but already his aunt and uncle were divvying up what few possessions were left and arguing over what was to become of him. It was obvious that neither of them wanted him that neither of them cared for him the way his mother had.
A rogue tear trickled down his face and he swiped it away roughly. He’d been the only man around the house for the past three years, and with mother’s health growing steadily worse, he had learned to do everything to keep the small farm providing food, shelter, and warmth for them.
Perhaps the kitchen garden wasn’t completely free of weeds the way his mother had always kept it, and maybe the hay wasn’t stacked as well in the barn as it should have been, but they had managed.
Pulling an old canvas bag from the back of his closet Darwin rummaged through his cloths, packing them carefully into the heavy bag. Hefting the rickety chair by the washstand he placed it under the shelf by the window and carefully took down his father’s rifle and six-gun, stowing them under the bed until it was time to move.
He didn’t need his aunt or uncle. He was able to care for himself, and he would take the first job he could find. There was nothing holding him in Rockport, North Carolina anymore. He’d see to it that nothing ever did.
***
Darwin Jerked upward as a gentle hand fell on his shoulder.
“Dar, are you alright?” Pastor Brandon Tippert leaned down looking into Darwin’s tear-stained face.
“I’m alright preacher,” the hostler pulled himself into a sitting position and brushed the last glistening tear from his face. “I guess I drift
ed off,” he chuckled with a false sense of cheer. “It’s mighty peaceful in here.”
Brandon Tippert leaned closer to the man studying him carefully. “You’ve been drinking,” he accused.
“Sorta,” Darwin bulked. “I only had a sip then changed my mind. I’d better go preacher, the sun will be setting soon.”
Brandon watched as the other man rose and hurried away down the aisle and out the church door.
“Who was that,” A pretty blonde woman asked walking into the church from a side door, her green eyes full of worry.
“Darwin, he just got married yesterday, and now he’s been to the saloon and then here. I wonder if I should go after him?”
“Give him a bit of time,” Beth Tippert said stepping up to her husband and slipping her hand into his as he ran the other one through his unruly brown curls. “I’m sure he’ll come back if he needs you.”
“I hope you’re right,” Brandon said. “I can’t imagine why he would be here instead with his new bride,” the preacher mused releasing Beth’s hand and slipping his arm around her. “I know I never want to be out of your sight,” he leaned over kissing her on top of the head.
***
Darwin hurried toward the house stopping to toss feed into the mangers for the horses on his way past the barn. The sun was slipping toward the horizon, and he realized that he had been gone for hours. His stomach rumbled, but he didn’t know if it was from missing lunch or nerves. He had to figure out what to do about Ruth. He wasn’t going back to living on his own. He couldn’t. The thought of being alone and unwanted in the world again wouldn’t let him.
Finishing his evening chores as the last golden rays of sun arched over the trees, Darwin stepped up to his front door, placed his hand on the latch and whispered a prayer before pushing it open.
“Ruth?” his voice sounded choked and he looked around the room at the pretty yellow and white curtains hanging over the windows. “Ruth?” he called again more forcefully. “Where are you?” But nobody answered when he called her name, and his heart fell. What should he do? Where could she have gone? Had she decided to leave him? He knew that he wasn’t much of a man, but he had always been a hard worker, and there was value in that.