by Natavia
Aunt Tierra rolled her eyes before she got up and went into the crib.
“You gonna get a blood test?”
“Hell yeah, but I’m not happy about it at all. I don’t want to be near anyone I went to high school with. Muthafuckas still call me a rapist even though I was cleared from that. Jonna took that bitch’s side and I hated her for that. Now she wants to be my girl again. She’s been sending me pussy pics all day. I’m tryin’ to get over all of it,” he replied.
“Is that the white girl you were messin’ with? Chrome would’ve took your head off if he was alive. I was the one who was supposed to have baby mamas and all that shit.”
“I hope that baby ain’t mine,” he said.
Tryst looked stressed out. He had the perfect life and was bitching about it. Anybody would’ve been happy to have Bentley supplying them a lot of weight. Tryst didn’t have to be stuck in the projects to get what most of the niggas in the projects wanted—the dope boy dream. He had the money but was afraid to spend it. When it all settled, we had different ways because we were raised differently.
“Aight, I’ll see you later. Tell Tierra I’ll stop by tomorrow and grab that bag from her,” he said. We dapped before he left.
Aunt Tierra came outside when she heard Tryst’s truck start up.
“What did you say?” she asked.
“Why do I always have to say somethin’?”
Aunt Tierra sat next to me, and I said, “I came over here to talk to you. Why did you tell June Bug about Tryst bein’ the connect? That’s my homie and all that but you can’t run your mouth like that. Does he know you keep Tryst’s shit here? If so, we gotta move it. I don’t trust that nigga Zee and if we fuck up, Bentley will have all of us dead!”
“Watch your tone with me, Trell! I told June Bug, so he could help. You really think you and Tryst will make it with only the two of you? If it comes down to it, do you think Tryst can kill someone? He’s a smart boy, I’ll give him that, but that Mr. Nice Guy shit gets old really quick. Chrome needed June Bug and now Tryst needs him,” she replied.
I helped Aunt Tierra clean up then headed home. Maybe I should’ve told June Bug I couldn’t look out for him since it was Tryst’s operation. When it all boils down to it, I’d be stealing from my brother. I didn’t agree with how Tryst did things and we always bumped heads but he’s family. I’d known June Bug longer than I’ve known him. I was going to have to pick between my brother and uncle, that’s what it came down to.
Dream
Two weeks later…
The past few weeks, I’ve been a nervous wreck. Adrian was no longer coming to the house, but he was sending me letters. I made sure to always check the mailbox, so Tryst wouldn’t see them. When I came home from jail all those years back, I came out a different person. I don’t know why I was so scared of being in a relationship, although I told Tryst I wanted to be with him. We were only official for a few weeks and had already became distant. I told him once before that we were better as friends with benefits.
“DREAM!” Naya yelled.
“What is it?”
“I got fired today and you’re not even listening to me. Someone called the director and told him I take painkillers. I bet it was that bitch Katrice or some other hoe that’s fuckin’ Trell! I’m gonna fuck him up when I see him!” Naya said, pacing back and forth.
“You didn’t need that job. I told you to focus on your education while I keep us straight. By the way, you told me that you stopped taking those!”
“I know but you’re not my mother. I’m grown enough to take care of myself,”
We were inside our mother’s apartment. Even with different furniture, freshly painted walls and hardwood floors, it didn’t make it any less gutter. Naya thought our mother was coming back but we hadn’t heard from her in the past two years. She used to call every once in a while, but then the calls stopped. I didn’t know where she lived or if she was still in the same state. The way my mother struggled for years to the point where she had to leave us broke my heart. Nobody understood how guilty I felt. I stalked the newspaper every day to make sure she wasn’t dead.
Naya’s sobs brought me back to reality. She was always crying over Trell when all he did was cheat. It was to the point where he wasn’t even lying about it anymore.
“You just don’t understand how much I love Trell. I hate myself for forgiving him all those times. It’s so hard, Dream. Why can’t we be perfect like you and Tryst? Tryst respects you and he doesn’t lie to you. You don’t hear about him fuckin’ different women every day,” Naya said.
“He’s spendin’ time with his daughter. I don’t knock him for it but there’s this distance between us now. We sleep next to each other every night, but our conversations are different. I know how much Jonna meant to Tryst back then so what if those old feelings come back? I’d be able to deal with it if she was just a random bitch he fucked but that was his girlfriend.”
“I doubt he goes back to her. Maybe he’s just stressed,” she said.
Naya didn’t know about me and a few of my clients. I was trying to look for a better way to put it instead of using the word, “prostitute.” Out of all my clients, I only slept with the ones I was attracted to. Did that make me a whore or just a woman with standards? I couldn’t bring myself to tell Tryst about it. His mother used to tell him that girls from the hood were whores and didn’t have any goals. Did I fall into the stereotypical views people had of girls like me? I had goals like everyone else.
Someone knocked on the door and Naya got up to get it. I told her about doing that, but she was hardheaded. She opened the door and Kabella walked into the apartment wearing booty shorts.
“Oh, hey Naya. You look cute or whateva,” Kabella said.
“And you look like a hoe as usual,” Naya fired back.
“Well, I came over here because my favorite cousin has been avoiding me,” Kabella said.
She plopped down on the swivel chair, popping her gum loudly. I’d been ducking her lately. Nothing good came out of hanging with Kabella. I had a man and couldn’t be out there doing hoe shit.
“I’m going in the room to take a nap,” Naya said, leaving the living room.
“That girl doesn’t like me,” Kabella said.
“Sometimes I don’t like you neither. You gotta know when you’re getting on someone’s nerves.”
“Bitch, whatever. I have been looking for you because I want you to go to this private poker party with me in Virginia. You know how we do when we go to those parties. Remember that time we got that old ass man for thirty g’s. We can do that again,” she said.
“Me and Tryst made it official.”
“For what? Why would you stop makin’ money for him? I thought you told me he be doing his thing?” she asked.
“We both were but now we’re official. But Adrian is stalking me and it’s getting out of hand.”
“What did you think was going to happen? That man got that loft for you, bought you two fur coats and is constantly dropping cash on you. If I was you, I’d still milk his ass. Tryst ain’t doing shit because he still has you living close to the hood. You think cause his house fixed up it’s still not a shit hole?” she asked.
“I’ll slap the taste out of your mouth if you diss my nigga like that again! Bitch, don’t play with me. You think I want to have this lifestyle forever? I’m going to go back to school and focus on my man. If you got issues with that then leave!”
“Go back to school? You make more money in a day than what someone can make in two weeks! You’re crazy if you think it’s going to get better than this,” she said.
Kabella went inside her purse and pulled out a dime bag of cocaine. She dipped her nail into the bag.
“You want some?” she asked.
“No, I don’t! Get the hell out, Kabella.”
“Now you think you’re better than me? It’s all good anyway. Once a hoe, always a hoe. You can’t erase the men that been up in that pussy. Call me when yo
u’re ready to make some real money with me. Umph,” she said, getting up. She snatched her purse off the table before strutting to the front door. I got up, beating her to the door so I could open it for her.
“You used me now you’re throwing me away,” she said.
“Get your high ass on. We can talk when you stop poppin’ off at the mouth. If you can’t do that, don’t stop over here anymore and don’t call me.”
She smacked her teeth and rolled her eyes on her way out the door. I was ready to close the door, but Tryst walked in. There was no way in hell Jonna could resist him. The black wife beater he wore almost had me creaming. Tryst knew better than to come to the hood like that. I had never wanted to protect a man so much in my life. He leaned down to kiss my forehead and I couldn’t stop smiling.
“Come sit on my lap. I gotta talk to you about something,” he said.
“What are you doing down here?”
“I was outside talkin’ to Trell and J-Breezy, but I been down here for an hour,” he said.
Tryst sat on the couch with his arms stretched out on the cushions. He was the only man I knew that shaved under his arms. I hated deodorant balls. I went to him and sat on his lap. He made me feel so small in his world. Whenever he talked, I hung on to every word regardless of what it was about.
“Every time you come over here, it takes me back to when you were seventeen years old. Now look at you, you’re too comfortable. I don’t want you to get comfortable here.”
“I’m comfortable anywhere when you’re sittin’ that phat ass on my lap,” he said.
“So, how was your visit to Jonna’s parents’ house?”
“Weird to be honest. They were watching me like I was gonna steal somethin’. Jasma still doesn’t like me. You could’ve gone with me. They’ll have to get used to seeing your face anyway,” he said.
“Me and Jonna don’t get along. I’ll be there when Jasma visits.”
“They don’t want her over this way,” he replied.
“Umph, I should’ve known that.”
“We gotta start packing,” Tryst said.
“I know.”
I found us a single-family home in Bowie which was close to the college Deerie went to. It was spacious, with five bedrooms and had a two-car garage with a furnished basement. The rent was four g’s a month, but Tryst said he could handle it. Since he wanted to pay the rent, I put down the deposit and ordered furniture. It was perfect timing; hopefully Jonna’s parents would let Jasma visit her father.
I got off Tryst’s lap to see what Naya was doing.
“We have to start packing,” I said when I went into her bedroom.
“I’m not moving because I know Trell is coming,” she said.
“Tryst said Trell found a condo. I can’t tell you what to do but you need to stop worrying about Trell. You have dedicated your life to him at a young age and now it’s like you are stuck.”
“Lock the door on your way out,” she replied.
“I’m going to call you.”
Naya waved me goodbye. Heartbreak was like the flu. You couldn’t eat, sleep, work, or even get out of bed.
“I’m ready.”
Tryst didn’t want me in my old hood, so whenever I was there he’d come over and sometimes rush me. I knew him all too well. Tryst was feeling on my ass while I locked the door.
“Stop, Tryst.”
He kissed the back of my neck and pressed his hard-on against my backside.
“Were you drinking?”
“Yeah, a little with Trell and his homeboy,” he replied.
Rizzo walked up the steps to the building, probably to buy drugs from the guy who lived on the bottom floor. He grilled Tryst the moment he saw him. I heard through gossip that Rizzo was getting high off PCP. I somewhat believed it because he let himself go.
“Didn’t I tell you to stay out of this neighborhood, fam? I tell you every time you come here. That bitch is gonna get you laid underneath a white sheet,” Rizzo said to Tryst.
“Don’t say anything, Tryst,” I whispered.
Tryst walked me down the stairs while holding my hand. I hated Rizzo for being a bully.
“I know pretty boy can’t fuck you like I used to,” Rizzo said. He smacked me on the ass in front of my man. Tryst let my hand go, and I panicked. He punched Rizzo in the face and made him fall down the stairs. Tryst jumped on Rizzo and stomped them. I tried to break it up in case Rizzo had a gun on him.
“Get off me!” Tryst said and moved me out the way.
He kicked Rizzo in the face and blood flew on my shirt. People heard the commotion going on and that’s when everyone came out to see what was happening. I stood on the side and screamed for Tryst to stop before he got into trouble.
“OH SHIT! That’s Chrome’s son beating up Rizzo!” someone said. Tryst stepped away from Rizzo, so he could get up for a fair fight. I hated how much Tryst was old school at times because nobody fights anymore, they shoot. Trell grabbed me to get me out of the way but I snatched away from him. Rizzo and Tryst squared up.
“You gonna die over a hoe? Dream is for everybody now, ask her cousin Kabella!” Rizzo said.
THAT BITCH!
Tryst swung on Rizzo and Rizzo swung back and missed. Rizzo wasn’t a fighter which is why he always carried a gun.
“TRYST!” I called out when Rizzo pulled out his gun. Everyone ran but me, J-Breezy and Trell. I was getting light-headed and my stomach felt queasy. It was already hot outside, but it seemed to have gotten hotter.
“You a bitch!” Tryst said to Rizzo.
“I’m not gonna let some pissy-ass school boy come around here and act tough. You’re a bitch nigga just like your father! I put in all the work for that nigga and you wanna disrespect me and come through here with my shorty? Naw, nigga, it ain’t gonna happen,” Rizzo said.
“Damn, Rizzo. Niggas out here respect you and you’re gonna shoot Chrome’s son? The whole hood ain’t gonna fuck wit’ you anymore after this. You already know what it is if you pull that trigger,” J-Breezy said.
“Yeah, muthafucka!” Trell said with a gun pointed at Rizzo’s head.
“It’s too many people out here, Trell. Put that away and let’s go,” Tryst said. Trell took the gun from Rizzo.
“This ain’t your hood anymore, fam,” Trell said to Rizzo.
Tryst grabbed my hand and led me down the stairs.
“Ain’t no bullets in here,” Trell said about Rizzo’s gun.
“All of those niggas fell off,” J-Breezy said about Chrome’s team.
“This ain’t over!” Rizzo yelled from the building.
Tryst got into my car once I unlocked the door. He took his shirt off to wipe his face off because he was sweating profusely.
“Somethin’ told me not to take those shots of Remy in the heat,” he said.
I sped out of the parking lot in case something else happened. Tryst and Rizzo had my nerves so out of whack that I caught a cramp in my stomach.
“You scared the shit out of me! What were you thinkin’, Tryst? This is why I hate when you come down here. Those niggas are jealous of you and have been since the moment you showed your face. This isn’t your fight so let me handle it.”
“Let you handle it? What type of man do you think I am? That nigga put his hands on you like I was fittin’ to let that shit slide. I’on give a fuck if I have to die in order to protect mine. You got me fucked up with the rest of these niggas around here,” he said.
Tryst got out of the car and waited for me to get out. My nerves were so bad I could barely move. I couldn’t live without Tryst. To be real, I’d die with him. Tryst helped me out of the car and I told him I was fine.
“Want me to carry you?” he asked.
“No, I’m fine.”
“You look sick,” he replied.
“I’m getting hot.”
Tryst helped me into the house and the AC was blasting. Nobody was in the house but us. It was summer time so Deerie wasn’t around much, she spent m
ost of her time with Sebastian. I had to admit how much I enjoyed having Tryst alone. He helped me onto the couch and took off my sandals.
“You want somethin’ to drink?” he asked.
“Yes, please. I will make us a seafood boil after I wake up.”
“Can I ask you somethin’?” Tryst asked after he gave me the water.
“Ask me anything.”
“Do you need to get somethin’ off your chest? I just need to know what’s really up with you. You’ve spent a lot of time away from home, but you worked at a night club. I should’ve been asked you, but I didn’t want you to think I was insecure. But now I need to know for real,” he said.
“My situation with Adrian was a little deeper than I led on.”
Is a half-truth considered a lie? I really want to put this behind me.
“Go ahead,” he said.
“I worked at night but spent my days at his loft. We were intimate, and he wanted to get serious and leave his wife for me. I knew at that moment I was playin’ a dangerous game.”
Tryst chuckled while shaking his head.
“You were somebody’s side chick? Yo, that’s low as fuck, Dream. I know you got this ruff edge but you’re a diamond. Why would you lower the value of your pussy for another bitch’s man when I damn near was throwing it out there that I wanted to move past this friendship we had? I’m a little hurt because I thought you was better than that. Now you can’t even be mad if another woman wants what you have. Is that why you were trippin’ over Tierra?” he asked.
“It’s different when they smile in your face, but this isn’t the case. We all do things we’re not proud of. I’m still learnin’ how to be perfect for you.”
“How long?” he asked.
“A little over a year.”
“So, you were in love with the nigga,” he said.
“Now wait a minute, Tryst. You know it doesn’t work like that with me. I liked him, but love is a very strong emotion that I’ve never felt for him. Can we move past this?”