by Natavia
Sebastian went into the bathroom while I tried to put the pieces together. What did Adrian have to do with Connery and Rizzo? Adrian was just a real estate agent who seemed to be obsessed with women. Connery and Rizzo were both street men which made it odd. Whatever the issue was, I didn’t trust the man who was supposed to be my father in the same city as Tryst.
“Let’s go, Sebastian! I gotta go!” I called out. He was taking too long in the bathroom. I was ready to knock on the door, but I heard him whispering. I put my ear to the door.
“I really do love you, Miranda, but I can’t break it off with Deerie right now. She just lost her friend,” Sebastian whispered. The only reason I forgave him so easily is because I needed him to get me those files. I’d had my heart broken by him during a time when I needed him most. I cried my heart out for months. I loved him, but I couldn’t allow myself to cry over his bitch ass anymore. I heard something fall on the floor when I knocked on the door. He must’ve dropped his cellphone or something.
Sebastian opened the door and I clocked him in the face with the butt of my gun. He fell onto the floor holding his nose, blood dripping on the bathroom floor. I’ve never seen Sebastian look so scared in my life but fuck it.
“Don’t shoot me, Deerie! Please, don’t shoot me!” he cried.
“Open your mouth!” I said when I shoved the gun to his lips.
“Wh-what are you doing?” he asked.
I kneeled in front of him. “Open your mouth!” I said. Sebastian’s scared ass opened his mouth, and I slipped the gun between his lips. He was trembling, while his eyes focused on my trigger finger. I wanted to blow out the back of his throat.
“Do not contact me ever again and I mean it. I’m done with you this time. You aren’t any good for me and never will be! Oh and if you even think about telling our secret, just remember you’ll go down with me!” I gritted. Sebastian gagged and choked when I slid the gun further down his throat. He coughed after I took the gun out of his mouth.
“Get your ass up and get out!” I yelled.
Sebastian got up from the floor, jolting out of the bathroom as he knocked a few pictures off the wall. I heard the screen door slam after Sebastian hauled ass out of the house. Before I left, I set the alarm.
I headed to Newtowne to Dream’s neighborhood. Tryst would’ve raised hell if he’d known I was in that neighborhood. A few girls gave me a nasty look when I got out of my car. I wasn’t sure if Dream was home, but I had to talk to her. A girl came downstairs from the third floor with a baby on her hip. Her hair was all over her head and she was wearing a summer dress with a pair of busted flip-flops.
“Aren’t you Trell’s sister?” she asked with an attitude.
“If you are asking that it means you know something,” I replied, and she smacked her teeth.
“Whatever, I just wanted to know if he killed Naya?” she said.
“And I just want YOU to know that I’ll slap the fuck out of you.”
“Anyways, tell Trell that Katrice asked for him,” she replied with an attitude. I waited until she went her punk ass back upstairs before I knocked on Dream’s door.
“DREAM!” I called out while knocking.
I knocked for almost twenty minutes, but nobody answered the door. Finally, I gave up knocking. J-Breezy was walking up the sidewalk as I made my way to the car. I was actually happy to see him.
“Yo, you can’t be down here,” J-Breezy said.
“I’m lookin’ for Dream.”
“She might have to make funeral arrangements or somethin’. Give shorty her space because that isn’t a hard pill to swallow. Did you eat? You need some company?” he asked.
“Come on. Hurry up before I change my mind,” I said.
J-Breezy opened the passenger door. Soon as he got in and he reclined his seat all the way back, he pulled his gun out of his shorts to place it underneath the seat.
“I bet one of those bitches sitting on the steps messed with you,” I said. There were four girls standing on the sidewalk looking into my car. One of them was grilling J-Breezy.
“I only fucked one of them,” he said.
“You and Trell are close so I already know you get around.”
“Yeah aight,” J-Breezy chuckled.
We made small talk on our way out of the hood. Despite all of what was going on, he was able to make me laugh. J-Breezy was rough around the edges a little bit, but he was a good person. His mother and father were MIA, so his grandmother raised him and his little sister.
“You ate here before?” I asked him when I arrived at Mike’s Crab House.
“Come on, bruh. Of course, I have,” he said.
We got out the car and went into the restaurant. The Crab House was crowded. J-Breezy stood in line behind me as we waited to be seated, and his dick brushed past my ass a few times; there was barely any room to move. We waited for almost thirty minutes before we were seated on the dock. One thing about Annapolis, it had a lot of nice restaurants on the water where you could enjoy the breeze and watch the boats and jet skis pass by. Unlike Sebastian, J-Breezy didn’t leave his phone on the table, he placed it inside his pocket. I was comparing too early, but it was a relief to see that I had someone’s full attention.
“Are you single now?” J-Breezy asked.
“I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t.”
“I respect that,” he said.
A waitress came over to get our drink and appetizer orders. We ordered two dozen jumbo male crabs and three pounds of steamed shrimp. I was a big seafood eater and J-Breezy was down with it.
“Is this wrong? Us sitting here ready to enjoy ourselves only a day after Naya’s death? I don’t know how to grieve knowing that she caused that accident herself.”
“I’m glad my homeboy is still here. I know you don’t want to see it that way, but shorty wanted to kill him. He broke her heart but it ain’t worth tryin’ to kill a nigga. Maybe you’ll grieve later, everybody doesn’t deal with death the same,” he replied.
Our food came twenty minutes later, but it didn’t stop us from talking. We talked about the future and where we saw ourselves in ten years. J-Breezy took me by surprise when he mentioned he wanted to be married with a family. It had been a while since I was on a date where I didn’t have to hear a cellphone ringing every minute. J-Breezy reached across the table to wipe off the butter that dripped down my chin with a napkin.
“You have some pretty-ass lips,” he said.
“Your lips not too bad neither.”
“Appreciate the compliment,” he said with a smirk on his face.
“We gotta do this again. I like talking to you.”
“Aw shit, shorty. I stimulated your mind, huh?” he asked.
Keep talking like that and you’ll stimulate something else. Wait! It’s too soon to think like this. I’ve only been single for two hours. Fuck it. There is nothing wrong with casual sex.
“I wouldn’t say all of that,” I replied smartly.
“Yeah aight,” he chuckled.
An hour and a half later, we were going back in Newtowne. J-Breezy was tired and so was I from stuffing my face. I pulled up to his grandmother’s building. We sat for a few minutes without saying anything to each other. J-Breezy looked like he was thinking hard about something. He finally broke the silence.
“Yo, I know you still in love with your nigga but that’s not gonna stop me from tryin’ my hand. I still fucks wit’ you so just know I’m not on some female shit about the situation. I won’t say shit about us,” he said.
“You are willing to be my side nigga if I do get back with Sebastian?” I was shocked because J-Breezy was fine and could probably have any other woman on his arm. The fact that he wanted me that bad was a turn-on and weird at the same time.
“I wouldn’t call it that, but I’m always available under any situation because I know once I break that wall, I’m gonna have you to myself,” he replied. He kissed me on the cheek before he got out of my car, leaving me speechless.
Seconds later, I was on my way home.
Tryst’s pick-up truck was parked in the driveway when I arrived home. I couldn’t wait to confront him about neglecting Dream during her time of need. He didn’t call or text anyone. I found him in the living room, stretched across the couch. He was drinking my Jack Daniel’s straight from the bottle. His eyes were red, and his face was frowned into a scowl.
“Where is Jasma?”
“In her room asleep. I heard what happened to Naya. That’s fucked up,” he said.
I sat across from him and he sat up. Tryst looked like he hadn’t been to sleep yet. He was feeling some type of way about Naya but I knew his pain was coming from somewhere else. Tryst was so deeply in love with Dream to the point where I thought they could overcome anything.
“You’ve got to forgive Dream. I know you’re angry, but she just lost her sister, the same day she found out about her pregnancy. Be there for her like she was there for you when our father died.”
“I’m gonna be there for her but I’m done wit’ shorty. You think I wanna stick around and take care of another nigga’s seed? Fuck that, Deerie. I’m not getting my hopes up so it’s best I pull away from that situation,” he said. Tryst took a swig out of the bottle.
“I broke up with Sebastian today. That nigga was cheating on me.”
Tryst put the bottle on the table then sat back on the couch. “I’m gonna split that nigga’s shit open when I see his bitch-ass. I had talks wit’ him and told him not to play wit’ your heart,” he said.
“I handled Sebastian myself, so you don’t have to worry about it. I’m only telling you, so you won’t bring him around me.”
“Naw, I’m gonna fuck him up. I wasn’t feelin’ y’all like that anyway. Tell me somthin’ though, baby girl, are there any more secrets I need to know about?” he asked.
Should I tell him we don’t share the same father? Naw, I’m gonna leave that out.
“Dream’s ex, Adrian and your enemy, Rizzo are tied to each other somehow. That’s all I know.”
“So those niggas could’ve been plottin’ on me? Using Dream’s stupid-ass to get to me. I’m going to end up killing those niggas. I put that on everything,” he said.
The front door unlocked followed by footsteps coming down the hall. It was Dream. She stood in the entryway of the living room, wearing the same clothes she had on the day before. I almost didn’t recognize her because of her lifeless expression. She just wasn’t herself which made me sad all over again. Tryst walked over to her, which caught me by surprise, especially when he hugged her. Dream broke down all over again in Tryst’s arms. I gave them their space by going downstairs to my apartment. Since I smelled like seafood, I decided to take a bath. I undressed then stepped into the tub filled with bubbles, oil and bath salts. Sebastian came to mind. It was hard to let go since we shared a secret. A secret that could ruin my life.
One year ago…
I was sitting on Sebastian’s bed watching TV while he was in the shower. We had a studio apartment on a month-to-month lease in downtown Baltimore. It was only temporary until we went back to school. I couldn’t wait until we were finished so we could live together permanently. Sebastian came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around him. I playfully rolled my eyes at him because he was getting ready to go out with Tryst.
“I’m gonna be bored,” I whined.
Sebastian laid on top of me and kissed me. He rolled me over onto my back, so I could feel his erection. I loved him so much, whenever I was with him the feelings I had for him traveled through my bones.
“You’re so beautiful,” he said while staring into my eyes. I caught a major case of butterflies.
“Tell Tryst you can’t come out,” I practically begged.
“It’s been a minute since I kicked it with him. Call Dream or Naya,” he said.
“Me and Naya aren’t on good terms right now because she busted Trell’s lip yesterday and Dream is always with Kabella. You’re my only friend outside of them.”
“Yo, you’re too spoiled,” he said. Sebastian playfully nibbled on my lip. It was something about the way Irish Spring smelled on his skin. We were about to have a little quickie when someone banged on the door.
“Who the fuck is that? I know that isn’t Tryst!” I said.
Sebastian rolled off the bed to put his baller shorts on. He looked through the peephole first. I watched his attitude change, he was no longer happy.
“Who is at the door?” I called out.
“I don’t know who it is,” he said, walking away from the door. Sebastian was acting weird. He was sweating profusely, stuttering over his words when I kept questioning him. The knocks got louder, and I heard a woman’s voice on the other side of the door.
“Who in the fuck is that?” I yelled.
“Be quiet!” he whispered.
“Open the door, Sebastian!” she screamed while banging.
“Wait, baby! Just calm down!” Sebastian yelled out when I rushed to the door. I opened the door to a girl who looked around my age. She was thicker than me, almost Dream’s size. Not only was she shapely, she was beautiful.
“Where is Sebastian? I know he’s here because his car is in the garage!” she yelled. She pushed her way into our apartment. I couldn’t believe what was happening. Sebastian stood in the middle of the floor in disbelief.
“How did you get here?” he asked her.
“You brought me here the other night!” she screamed at him.
The other night I stayed at the home I shared with my brothers. Sebastian claimed he was sick with a twenty-four-hour virus and he didn’t want me to get it.
“What is this hoe talking about?” I asked him.
“Deerie, I promise I don’t know this girl! My father is a mayor, so these bitches are looking for a come-up. She’s a stalker!” he said. Sebastian walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me.
“Baby, this girl is lying. I swear I don’t know her,” he pleaded.
“You are a liar! You messaged me on Facebook last year and we spend time together whenever you are on break from school!” she screamed.
“Bitch, I don’t know you!” Sebastian said.
She charged towards him, hitting him in the face. She cried about his father secretly helping her get an abortion. At that moment, I knew what she said was true. Sebastian brought a bitch to our home and lied to my face about it! They were tussling, knocking over the lamps I bought for our living room space.
“Get the fuck off me, Alita!” Sebastian yelled.
“You better get that bitch out of here, Sebastian or else!” I shouted.
“What are you gonna do, bitch?” Alita asked me.
She charged into me with a closed fist, knocking me over the bed. I pulled her down with me. She yelled for Sebastian to help her when I wrapped her hair around my fist and pummeled her face. Sebastian tried to pull us apart but I bit Alita’s cheek. I was a dirty fighter and didn’t care how badly someone got hurt.
“STOP!” Sebastian said, helping Alita. The muthafucka had the nerve to come to her rescue when she assaulted us. I was furious! I flipped the mattress over and grabbed my gun.
“Let that bitch go, Sebastian!” I said with the gun pointed towards them.
“What the hell, Deerie! Let’s talk about this!” he said with his arm still around her.
“Did you fuck her?” I asked.
“Yeah, I did, but it didn’t mean anything!” he said. My heart broke into a million pieces.
“I was pregnant with your baby!” Alita cried.
“So, you go around knockin’ bitches up and your father covers for you? You’re sick!” I yelled.
“Put the gun down!” Sebastian said.
“Tell that crazy bitch to leave so we can talk,” Alita said to him.
“SHUT UP!” Sebastian told her.
Tears burned the brims of my eyes and there was pressure building in my chest. I was sick to my stomach to know that the first boy I ever loved was playi
ng me. Alita took a piece of me. She came into my home and threw dirt on me! Before I knew it, my hand was squeezing the trigger. It happened so fast, I wasn’t aware I still had the gun in my hand as I zoned out. The bullet pierced through her forehead, her brain splattering on the TV behind her, as her body hit the floor with a loud thud. I killed her. Sebastian’s body trembled.
“What did you do?” he asked.
I wanted to kill him, but there were two reasons why I let him live: I loved him, and I didn’t need the police on my back.
“We’re in this together. Just know her blood is on your hands!”
“You killed her!” he whispered.
“Your father can cover it up. Doesn’t he always cover up your dirt? Tell him someone broke in!”
“This isn’t a good look, Deerie!” he sobbed.
“Nigga, I don’t give a fuck! She fought you, too, so your DNA is under her nails! Now figure out how to get this bitch out of here! You are a lying piece of shit!”
“It won’t happen again, Deerie. I promise,” he said…
I burst into tears thinking about how I lost myself behind Sebastian again. For some reason, I still needed some type of validation from a man. I let Sebastian and June Bug get whatever they wanted from me while I paid the price. In a way, I was sorta relieved that Naya was gone, that way she wouldn’t have to put up with heartache anymore. A broken heart felt worse than death. To keep myself from slipping into that promiscuous girl again, I had to direct my attention to something else—something that made me happy.
Tryst
Three days later…
“Where are you going?” Dream asked me. I was getting dressed because I had to take care of business. I’d been staying at the house with her to make sure she was straight. We weren’t talking about much, but I was there for her to make sure she was bathing and eating.
“I’m going out.”