I know, of course, it’s nobody’s fault. Not even Sam’s. He had a life after me; he thought I’d moved on. Geoff scared him away. He was perfectly entitled to go ahead and meet somebody – get married, have a family, whatever. I am angry because I was shocked; embarrassed, even, by not knowing anything about it. And I don’t know why he didn’t tell me last night; after all, I told him about Geoff. And if I am very honest, I feel really weird that Casey and Sam have been together. That he’s the father of her child, for god’s sake! It’s just so much to take in.
I send a short text to Sam:
I can’t see you tonight. I will call you soon.
Then one to Casey:
Sorry, I’m shattered and I’ve got a headache. I’m going to have an early night x
I pull on my pyjamas but I hear David calling upstairs. “Anyone up there?”
“Hello?” I call back, in what I hope is a cheerful voice.
“Alice! Is Julie up there?”
“No, I don’t think so…”
He is already bounding up the stairs. He rounds the corner, swinging round the banister and clearing all three of the last steps with one leap. “Alice!” He says, grabbing me by the shoulders, “Alice! I’m so glad you’re here. I needed to talk to you. I’m getting married!” He swings me round, which is not easy to do in the tiny space, then pulls back. “You’re in your pyjamas!”
“Oh? Yeah, I am, I… just got back from the beach, had a shower, and thought I might as well just put these on. You’re getting married?” I change the subject back to him. “Oh my god, that’s amazing!”
“I know!” he laughs. “Martin asked me last night. It was so romantic. We were at the Cross-Section, dining al fresco, and he got down on one knee. I thought he’d dropped a crab claw or something, but he pulled this out of his pocket…” David shows me his left hand, where a plain silver band shines from his ring finger.
“Wow!” I say, and I genuinely can’t help smiling. “That is just the best news. I’m so happy for you, David.”
His eyes are shining with tears. “I’m so happy, too. I can’t calm down. Will you come and have a drink with me? In your pyjamas?”
“Of course I will!” I laugh.
“Great… tell you what… I’ll put my pyjamas on too, then we’ll be equal. I won’t drink much, I promise. But I think one to calm my nerves would be OK, do you?”
“I do,” I say.
“I do! I’ll be saying that soon!” David exclaims and gallops back down the stairs. “See you in five!”
I pull myself together. I’m pleased to have the distraction. It’s far better than sitting on my own, eating a takeaway in bed. I get my phone and text Julie back:
Yes, I’m in. David, too. I’ll be down at his, having a drink xx
I leave my phone where it is. There are no new messages from Sam, as he promised there wouldn’t be. I’m disappointed even though I know that’s unreasonable of me.
I brush my hair, pull a hoodie around myself, and go down to David’s. He’s sitting in his lounge, the patio doors open, an unopened bottle of champagne on the table in front of him. He is humming to himself.
“I am so happy for you!” I say. “Have you told Bea yet?”
“No, I’ve been trying to ring her but she’s not answering! Here, you open this and I’ll try her again.”
I take the bottle from him and peel away the foil as he picks up his house phone and dials Bea’s number. Pop! The cork hurtles into the air, rebounding off the ceiling, just as he says, “Where have you been, big sis?” He listens for a moment. “That was a gunshot. Yeah, it’s that waitress-cum-receptionist of yours, causing trouble. You know what she’s like.”
He winks at me before continuing. “I’ve got some big news, Bea, wait till you hear this… I’m getting married!”
I hear shrieks from the other end of the telephone line. David is grinning. He waits until the whooping has stopped and listens. “Yes, to Martin, you daft cow! Who else? He asked me last night!”
I hear more exclamations from the phone. I can’t help smiling. I pour two glasses of champagne while David listens to his sister.
“I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow. What if I come over in the morning? I could walk down with the girls. You know I won’t be able to sleep tonight anyway…” he listens, “… that would be really lovely, thank you, Bea. Thanks so much.” David is becoming teary, and I feel myself welling up. “I love you, too.”
He puts the phone down and looks at me. “Look at me,” he laughs, “I’m a total wreck! Come on, let’s get some of that down us!”
I hand him a glass and then I raise mine high. “To you and Martin.”
“To me and Martin! God, I miss him already!”
We take our drinks and the bottle into the garden and sit there, in our pyjamas, talking and chatting. I think I’ve cheered up until David says, “So what’s up with you?”
“What... oh, nothing. Nothing, really.”
“Come on!” he says. “I can tell there’s something bothering you. Do you want to talk about it?”
“No,” I say, unconvincingly, “this is your happy day.”
“Yes, it is, and unless you tell me you’re having an affair with Martin, I don’t think you’re going to put a dampener on it. Come on now, spill!”
So I end up telling him about Sam. About our night out, then about him and Casey.
“Casey?” David asks, looking puzzled. “I don’t think I know her. Is she from round here?”
“Yes, she is, I’m guessing you must have gone to school together. She’s a similar age to you, too. She’s the one who’s running the Pilates classes.”
“You mean Katie? Katie Collins?”
“No, Casey…” as I say it, my mind starts to whirr. Casey… KC… Katie Collins… Sam mentioned he’d had a girlfriend called Kate… “Oh,” I say. “Well I suppose that’s something that makes sense, even if nothing else does.”
“I did go to school with Katie, she was the year below me, but I remember her being really quiet and cute. Sort of cuddly, if you know what I mean, in a nice way. I remember some of the other girls didn’t like her. They were bitches, though, in her year. She had a transformation after she’d left school, though, became a bit… popular with the boys, shall we say?”
This fits in with what Casey… Katie, I correct myself… told me about herself.
“So your Sam went out with her, did he?”
“Yes, but not just that. They’ve got a daughter. Sophie.”
“Have they?” David looks surprised. “Well, I knew Katie had a little girl, but I didn’t know she was Sam’s. I guess this all happened in my hazy years, though, I don’t know if you can trust me to remember anything much from that time! So what’s bothering you most: the daughter or the ex?”
“I really don’t know,” I sigh. “All of it. Maybe most of all it’s the fact he didn’t tell me.”
“Yes, I can see that,” says David. “Can I try and offer a different point of view, though? You and Sam are only just getting to know each other again. It sounds like you told him a lot of things about your scary dead ex last night. And Sam did tell you he’d been with somebody else. Maybe introducing the subject of his daughter at the same time just seemed too much.”
“Hmm, maybe,” I’m not convinced but I think of Sam’s text from the beach. We have more to catch up on. Then the later one. Last night didn’t seem the right time. “He did say he’d been planning to tell me tonight.”
“Well, maybe he was, and maybe he wasn’t, but is it worth giving him the benefit of the doubt? After all, it sounds like he got together with Katie after you’d rejected him. I know, I know, you didn’t reject him. But he thought you did. And OK, he’s got a kid, but these things happen. We’re all a bit older. We’ve all got our history to lug around with us. God knows I’ve got mine. And he’s not with Katie any more, is he?”
“No,” I reluctantly admit.
“So… let’s try and look at th
is logically. You and he fell in love one summer. You went home. He had an accident. You thought he didn’t love you, and got together with freaky psycho man. Sorry, I know I shouldn’t speak ill of the dead but, well… And Sam came to find you but got scared off. So he came back and got together with Katie. And they had a daughter who, you say, is a great kid.”
“OK so far…”
“And Sam still sees the girl? His daughter, I mean?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“So he’s a good dad? He’s still the good man you think – or thought?”
“I suppose.” I know it all makes sense. I know it’s not so unreasonable. But it’s bloody messy and I don’t know if I want messy. And to top it all off, it’s Casey, and Sophie. Not some random strangers. “Thank you, David, it’s really helped talking to you about it. I think I need to give it a couple of days to let it settle and then I can think again.”
“I’d steer clear of Pilates tomorrow night, though,” David grins.
“Yes, I guess I’d better. I’ve got a headache just thinking about it all.”
“Well don’t, then,” David smiles. “Let’s think about me instead!”
I smile back. We talk about him and Martin; their plans for a local wedding, in the winter. “Oh, Bea said she wants to have a celebratory meal this week,” David says. “Do you and Julie want to come?”
“I’d love to,” I say, “if you’re sure that’s OK with Bea?”
“I’m sure it will be fine.”
“Oh, I wanted to ask her about my parents coming to stay, too, if she’s got room for them.”
“Why don’t we ring her now?” David says. “No time like the present.”
Before I know it, David has rung Bea again, and made me ring my parents, and plans are in place for them to come down on Tuesday, to stay at the Sail Loft for four nights thanks to a late cancellation, and for them to be coming to celebrate David’s and Martin’s engagement, too. I am really excited to think I’ll see my parents so soon, and I think some of the bubbles have gone to my head.
“I’ll go and ring Julie,” I say, “see if she can come out on Wednesday as well. I won’t tell her your news, though, you can do that. Hang on, I’ll grab my phone…”
I trip up the stairs, suddenly happy again – putting all thoughts of Sam aside, I am happy for David, and really touched that he and Bea are including me and my family in their world down here. I unlock my phone to see that Julie has got there first; there are three missed calls and a voicemail from her.
“Alice, it’s me,” she sounds like she’s crying. “Alice, I don’t know what to do. You need to help me.”
Chapter Nineteen
I manage to get Julie to calm down long enough to tell me where she is, but she won’t say why she’s so upset. I can’t tell if something has happened to her, or she’s been drinking, or both. I rush back downstairs. “Julie’s in a bad way,” I say, “She’s down at the harbour, I need to go and find her.”
“I’ll come with you,” David looks concerned and is up on his feet in a flash, grabbing his keys and a jacket. I shrug my own coat over my pyjamas. There’s no time to worry about being seen out in my nightwear.
We walk quickly down through the town. My ankle is aching still, but feels much stronger. My heart is thudding. It’s not like Julie to behave like this – she has never been a drama queen - and I don’t know what to expect when we find her.
We scurry past the people milling leisurely around the tables outside the Mainbrace; there’s live music tonight so it’s very busy. It’s a beautiful evening; the tide is in and the boats in the harbour are bobbing gently on the rippling water. I look along the harbour wall. I think I know where Julie will be, and I’m right – she is sitting in our favourite spot, and she has her head in her hands.
“There she is!” I say to David. “I’ll go ahead, if you don’t mind.”
“No, that’s fine – I’ll hang around here for a few minutes; you can give me a signal if you need me urgently.”
I rush along the uneven stone surface; worn away over the years by the comings and goings of fishermen and, more recently, tourists.
“Julie!” I cry, out of breath, as I get near to her. She looks up. Her eyes are rimmed with red and she looks pale. “Are you OK?” I ask.
She shakes her head and I sit next to her, putting my arms around her. She cries deeply into my shoulder, and I don’t say anything for a while, I just let her cry, while I try to work out what’s going on.
“Has somebody hurt you?” I ask eventually. “Are you OK?”
She shakes her head. “No… nothing like that. More like I’ve hurt them.”
“Who?” I ask, “You’ve hurt who?”
“Gabe… and Luke…”
OK. Now I know a bit more about what I’m dealing with, I don’t feel quite so worried. I thought something had happened to her, the way she was carrying on. In fact, I feel a bit annoyed at her. But I don’t suppose now is the time for that.
“What’s happened?” I ask her.
“Gabe was here,” she says.
“Here..?” I ask, wondering what he was doing at the harbour.
“Last night. He came down to Cornwall. I didn’t know he was coming.”
“Blimey. Did he find you? Was Luke with you?” I’m building a picture in my head: Gabe and Luke facing off. Julie stuck between them. Luke is a lot bigger than Gabe, who has quite a slight build, and is not that much taller than Julie. I don’t fancy his chances in a fight. But I don’t think either he or Luke is the fighting type.
“No, Luke wasn’t there. I… I didn’t go in to see his mum. We got to the hospice but I chickened out. It was so weird. I don’t know her; I mean, I know we used to hang out at theirs, but it was a long time ago. He was so happy that I was going to see her with him, and then I told him I couldn’t do it. It just felt wrong, somehow. Disingenuous. He kept saying how happy she’d be to see him with somebody before she died and when he was saying that, I kept thinking of Gabe. Of his mum, and dad. And I miss them. And I miss him. Gabe, I mean. Shit, I’m such a stupid bitch.”
“No you’re not,” I say, but my heart is aching for Luke, whose own heart must be breaking twice over right now. “And when did Gabe come into all this?”
“Well,” she sobs, “I left Luke, saying I thought it would be better for him if I didn’t come in. He had to go and see his Mum, she was expecting him. I went home, thinking you’d be there. But instead, there was Gabe, on the doorstep. I couldn’t believe it.”
I think of the murmuring voices I’d heard this morning. I thought it was Julie and Luke but it must have been her and Gabe. “Did he stay the night?”
“Yes,” she sniffs, and I want to shake her. I am finding it very hard to feel sorry for her, but it’s no use me getting annoyed. I think she knows what a mess she’s made of things.
“Come on,” I sigh. “David’s over there. We’ll go home together. Maybe you should just have a good sleep and see how you feel in the morning.”
I sound like my mum, saying that. I can’t wait to see her on Tuesday. Right now, I feel like coming down to Cornwall was the worst thing Julie and I could have done. Luke would certainly be much better off, for one thing. And I’d never have got mixed up with Sam, and Casey, and lovely little Sophie. Life may have been boring but I’m not sure boring is so bad.
David and I walk on either side of Julie, our arms around her. She’s been stupid but she’s still my best friend. David had raised his eyebrows at me when Julie and I got to him outside the Mainbrace. “Tell you later,” I mouthed to him.
The half-drunk bottle of champagne is on the table when we get in. “Have you been celebrating something?” Julie asks.
“Yes,” David can’t keep the smile from his face, despite the slightly miserable situation, “Martin and I are getting married!”
“Oh that’s great,” Julie promptly bursts into tears. “I’ve ruined your celebrations as well!”
“Shush, no you haven�
��t, don’t be silly,” David puts his arms around her. “Come on, let’s get you upstairs, I’ll bring you a hot chocolate, and you can have a good sleep.”
While David sorts Julie out, I go into my room. I check my phone, wondering if Sam’s been in touch, even though he said he wouldn’t. He and I should have been out having dinner now.
There is one message, from Casey. My heart sinks. I open it up. It’s a long one.
Sophie wants to no y u left so quick. I told her to ask her dad. He sed u and him were havin dinner 2nite. She sed r u his GF and he said maybe. Wot’s goin on? U knew I wanted to get back wiv him. Why didn’t u tell me u & Sam had history? Can’t belive u kept that from me.
Well, I think, seeing as I had no idea that you and Sam even knew each other, never mind had a kid together, why would I have told you anything about it?
Ask Sam
I send just those two words. I’ve had enough for today. I can hear David talking softly to Julie in the next room. He is a lovely man, I think; Martin is very lucky.
In time, I hear David sneaking out. I go to my door. “She’s asleep,” he whispers. “Poor girl.”
“Hmm,” I say. I’m not feeling that much sympathy for my friend, if I’m honest.
I go back downstairs with David and he refills both our glasses. “To complete and utter fuck-ups,” he says, and I can’t help but laugh.
Chapter Twenty
Monday is a quiet day. Julie and I walk to work in silence in the morning, but close together, shoulders and arms brushing on each step. She knows I am always here for her, and she knows enough that she has made a mess of things. She really doesn’t need me to keep reminding her.
A Second Chance Summer Page 15