“You want me to..? What? Really?”
“Yes, really!” Bea laughs. “But no pressure. Only if you’d like to.”
“I’d love to!” I exclaim.
“I thought you’d say that,” she says, “but look, take a few days. Have a chat with your parents, see what they think. Make sure it’s what’s right for you. And if you decide you’d like to, we can talk terms then; pay and so on.”
Wow. I have certainly not been expecting this. I look at David, who is smiling at me.
“The second thing is…” he says.
“What, there’s more?”
“Yes! There’s more! Now I don’t know how you feel about this but Bea and I were saying it’s too much for you to do everything here, so we thought it might be good to get a night manager. I can’t promise it’ll be Tom Hiddlestone, but somebody to take charge of things overnight so you can get away.”
“OK…” I say.
“And Martin and I, now we’re engaged, well, I’m going to move in to his place.”
“Oh, that’s lovely, David!”
“Yes, it is, isn’t it? Well, anyway, what I’d like if you’d be happy to, is for you to take over my place… the whole of the house, while Bea is away. We can work out everything financially, between the three of us.”
“What… I…” I am speechless. I feel like my jaw has hit the floor.
“Listen, it’s a lot to take in,” Bea says. “And we’re all a bit drunk so let’s leave it there for now. You have a good think, Alice, and let us know in a couple of days. Let’s go back in and join the party.”
I follow them obediently, and see Mum and Dad smiling at me. They clearly know exactly what’s been said.
“Alright?” Mum asks, putting her arm around me.
“Yes,” I say. “Yes, I am.”
For the rest of the evening, my head is spinning. What an offer! What an opportunity. I can’t wait to talk it through with Julie. I’m only sad that she won’t be here. The only possible sticking point, I think, is living in the same town as Sam and Casey and Sophie. But I will just have to get on with it. They will just have to get on with it. This is much too good an opportunity to miss.
I walk home happily with Julie, our arms linked, and we talk about the evening. I want to tell her about Bea’s offer but for some reason I keep it to myself for now. I think perhaps I need to make my own decision without anybody else giving me their opinion.
Julie is laughing, telling me about something Martin said, then she stops walking, and stops talking. We are on our street now, just a few doors away from David’s house. I look up to see what’s stopped her and there, in the streetlight, is Sam.
“Hi,” he says gently. I don’t say anything.
Julie moves forward, her footsteps sharp in the sudden silence. She knows he isn’t here for me but it takes me a moment to understand this.
“Hi,” she replies, in a similar tone. There’s clearly some kind of understanding between them. In fact, I feel completely locked out of this situation.
“She’s gone, hasn’t she?” Julie says quietly.
Sam nods, and glances over at me. I suddenly understand.
“She died this afternoon,” he says.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Shortly after Sam broke the news, and he spirited Julie away, the rain clouds broke as well.
I am in my room, looking out of the tiny window at the town, through a constant downpour. The rain pounds on the roof, gushes through the gutter and down the drainpipes. The gently sloping street has become a fast-flowing, shallow stream as the rainwater gathers, rushing down to meet the sea. No time to stop.
There has been thunder grumbling and rumbling, flexing its muscles threateningly; the occasional lightning flash splitting and lighting the sky. It is wild and angry out there now and I wonder how Luke and his dad are, and how Julie and Sam are getting on.
When the news was confirmed to Julie, she had sobbed, and turned to me. She looked so young. I moved towards her, and put my arms around her, and looked at Sam. He stood, his face illuminated in the dark, as if wondering what to say. “Will you come with me? To Luke?” he asked gently, and I knew he meant Julie.
She pulled away from me, giving me a short, strong look, and said, “Yes. Yes, of course.”
How could she say anything else?
“Do you want me to grab a bag for you, Julie?” I asked, not really sure what else to say or do.
“No, it’s fine, I’ll go as I am,” she said, and smiled at me.
Sam smiled too, unsurely. “Bye,” he said.
“Bye,” I replied, and watched them go together down the street.
I entered the dark house and climbed the steps. I was tired, but wide awake. What a crazy night, and then that awful news. Even though we had known it was coming, it is still a horrible shock.
About ten minutes after Sam and Julie had gone, just as I was making a hot chocolate, the rain had started to gently tap at the windows and the roof, as if testing itself. With growing confidence, its strength increased and it has been hammering at the house and its neighbours ever since.
Now it’s an hour or so since Julie and Sam disappeared. I’ve got my phone by my side in case she – or, let’s face it, he – needs me, but I haven’t heard anything. For once, I’m not so happy being on my own. I almost wish Casey would send me an antagonistic text, just so that I could have some kind of contact. David and Martin will probably stay at the Sail Loft, and Mum and Dad will be asleep by now. It’s nice to know they’re nearby, although I don’t really think I could explain all about Luke, and Julie, and Gabe – or about me and Sam – to them.
Maybe they went through messy situations, though, before they got together. It’s easy, as their child, to imagine that they have always been together, and happy, and settled. As though their relationship has always been straightforward, trouble-free, and nothing happened in their lives before they met. Maybe they have their own dramatic, or disastrous, stories to tell.
A great crack of thunder tells me it’s close by now. I can’t help wondering if this is something to do with Luke’s mum. It’s silly, I know; people die every day, and there isn’t a storm every day, but the timing of this one seems ominous. I peer out of the window and see a figure hurrying up the street, coat pulled over their head, pulled close around them. Poor guy, caught out by what had looked like a promising sunny evening. I watch his progress then realise he’s heading for the house and it dawns on me that this isn’t just any figure.
I dash downstairs and open the door, just as he’s about to knock on it. I look at him, and he looks at me, and just falls into my arms. My tears take me by surprise as I hold him and his wet clothes soak my pyjamas. His head on my shoulder, I stroke his thick, heavy hair. Of course, his heart is breaking too. Not as much as Luke’s, I’m sure, but May had been a wonderful person to Sam, too.
“Come on,” I say gently and take his hand, leading him upstairs.
I run the bath and I get the largest of Julie’s lovely, fluffy towels. “Get those wet things off you,” I say. “Don’t worry, I won’t look.”
I pour what seems like half a bottle of bubble bath into the hot water and watch as the bubbles multiply. Sam comes into the bathroom, the towel wrapped around his waist. He looks so sad, I almost don’t notice his beautiful, curly-haired chest, or toned, tanned arms.
“I’ll leave you to it,” I say, and I go into the kitchen and put the kettle on.
“Bloody hell!” I hear from the bathroom. “How hot is this?”
“Sorry!” I can’t help grinning. I forget that not everybody likes their baths as hot as I do. “Put some cold in!”
I hear the tap going back on, and after a few minutes, the sound of what must be Sam’s naked body slipping into the water.
“Do you want a drink?” I ask.
“Yes, please.”
I make a cup of tea and I knock on the bathroom door. “Can I come in?”
“Of course,” I hea
r, so I walk in and there, in my bath, is the man I have loved for ten years. Lying in a huge cloud of bubbles and looking so sad that all I want to do is put my arms around him again. Instead, I place the cup of tea on the chest of drawers and then look at him, and look away. I’m not sure what to do.
“Thank you, Alice,” he says.
“For what?”
“You know,” he says. “This…” He gestures with his hand and a puff of bubbles floats across to me. I examine it where it lands, on my right knee.
He laughs, and it is a relief.
“Join me,” he says, and I meet his eyes. “Please.”
It takes me a moment to realise what he means, and I keep looking at him. I’m not sure. But my hands find their way to the buttons on my pyjama top. He watches as I slowly undo them, and slide the top off my shoulders. I feel shy but strangely confident. The wildness of the weather is seeping into me. I step out of my pyjama bottoms and into the water. Sam puts his hand out to me as I slide into the bubbles. He is shaking. He pulls me to him, so that my back is resting on his chest. His arms are strong around me, and his head is on my shoulder once more. It rests there for a while but he is not crying this time. Slowly, he begins very, very gently kissing and nibbling my skin. It is sending shivers up and over me, again and again. I want to cry, and I want to laugh. I take one of his hands and gently kiss the back of it, then put his fingers into my mouth and suck them, one by one. I hear him moan gently behind me, and his other hand finds my left breast.
“I’ve been thinking about this, for ten years. Thinking about you,” he murmurs. I turn my head and find his mouth, then I turn fully and kneel up in the water, kissing him with all the passion that has built up over these ten years, the energy of the storm and the emotion of the night taking over me. We stop for a second, looking into each other’s eyes. Then we are out of the bath, wrapping towels around ourselves, but soon forgetting them as we make our way into my bedroom, our hands barely away from each other, and we fall onto the bed, the weight and warmth of him making me sigh with utter relief and joy.
In the dark of the night, with the rain still pouring down outside, rivulets trickling over the bumps of the roof and spilling out of the gutter, joining the torrents cascading along the road below, we hold each other. We don’t talk about Luke, or his Mum. We don’t talk about Julie. Or Sophie and Casey. We just lie there. I listen to Sam breathing, and can hear my own breath loud in my ears. Somewhere below my head, his heart is thumping, steady and strong. It makes my stomach tumble, thinking of it beating away in there, the centre of this man that I love.
The thunder and lightning are long gone; now the sound of the rain is soothing. Eventually, I fall asleep.
Chapter Twenty-Four
I’m awoken in the morning by a very gentle kiss from Sam.
“What time is it?” I ask, noting the dark grey, smudged sky through the open curtains. It’s so quiet.
“It’s about 4am,” Sam whispers. “I’m sorry to wake you. I have to get back home, though, I’ve got studying to do – my exams are next week - and I’m meant to be looking after Sophie later. And I think I’ll be heading to Luke’s after that.”
He looks apologetic as he says this.
“OK,” I say, “and don’t worry. Of course you have to look after your daughter.”
Sam looks like he wants to say something but changes his mind. I see that familiar furrowed brow as the expression crosses his face, but it smooths out as he smiles at me. “Last night was great,” he says.
“It was, wasn’t it?” I can’t help smiling. I don’t know what to say; was it a one-off? I don’t know where I stand. I don’t want to think about that now, though; I’m happy to just remember last night.
“We should do it again,” he says.
I raise my eyebrows.
“Get together, I mean, me and you. Well, and we should definitely do that again!”
He leans over me and kisses me full on my mouth. I probably have awful morning breath but he doesn’t seem to care. I pull him in for a proper kiss, and I can feel his warmth and his soft skin, slightly bristled by morning stubble. I love you, I think. But there’s no way I’m going to say it.
“I have to go,” he says reluctantly, and he tiptoes out of the door, his shoes in his hand. I don’t think he needs to be quiet; David and Martin were planning on staying at the Sail Loft last night and I doubt very much that Julie has come back. Sam casts a look back at me and his mouth turns up into another smile.
I pull the duvet around myself and sink into this delicious feeling. There’s some time yet before I have to get up for work but I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep. Instead, I replay last night’s events in my head. I’m caught between feeling sad about May, and ecstatic about Sam. And on top of all that, I’m filled with nervous excitement about Bea’s offer. I don’t know where it will lead, and I know I just need to enjoy it for what it is, while I can.
I spend over an hour drifting in and out of a very pleasant doze, but I know I need to wake up. I knock on Julie’s door just in case she did come back but there is no answer. I push the handle down gently and I peer in. The curtains are open, the bed is fully made. She hasn’t been back since yesterday.
I wonder what she and Luke are doing now. How Luke is. Will he have had any sleep at all? It’s hard to imagine. While I wish for her own sake that Julie hadn’t gone to him, I know why she did. How could she not? It’s going to be an even worse wrench for him now, when she goes back home, but I suppose at least she was there for him in his hour of need. The first of many.
I feel guilty, feeling so happy at such an awful time, but I can’t escape this feeling. I can’t stop thinking about Sam, and me, and me and Sam. Remembering his breath on me; his hands.
Still, I must get ready for work. It’s probably a good job he had to go back to study; I don’t think I’d have been able to leave my bed if he was still in it.
I dress, humming to myself, and gulp down a cup of tea and a glass of orange juice. The two drinks slosh in my stomach as I hurry along to the Sail Loft. I am amazed to see all traces of last night’s party gone. Jonathan is there and he looks up and smiles at me.
“Oh, hi,” I say, “where’s Julie?” I hope that didn’t sound rude.
“She called Bea last night, while the party was still going. Her boyfriend’s mum died, didn’t you know?”
“Ex-boyfriend,” I say. “Yes, I did. It’s awful. So are you filling in?”
“Yes, for now. I might as well just get on with it, seeing as I’ll be here next week anyway.”
“I suppose so,” I smile at him and I wander into the dining room, where all the tables are back in their usual places, perfectly made and resplendent in their thick white tablecloths.
Before long, the first guests appear. It’s always the same people who come down first. You can put money on them being walkers, or bird-watchers. Usually aged 50+, and usually the man will say something about not wanting to miss the best part of the day, or the early bird catching the worm… that kind of thing.
Today is no exception. First in are Mr and Mrs Jones, who have stayed at the Sail Loft every year for five years now; I know this because they have told me, more than once. I greet them and ask what they’d like to drink, even though I know they both have decaf tea, every day.
They sit quietly chatting about their plans for the day and soon there is another table to wait on, then another, and another, and eventually my mum and dad appear.
“Morning, love!” Dad greets me.
“Shh!” Mum says, aware that it doesn’t look very professional. Dad winks at me. I get them a pot of coffee.
“Some night last night, eh?” Dad says.
I go red. What does he know? Then I realise he’s either talking about the storm, or the party.
“Oh, yeah. It was, wasn’t it?”
“That Bea knows how to throw a party! Hey, and what about your new job? You are going to take it, aren’t you?”
�
�Let Alice get on with her work, Phil,” says Mum, smiling at me. “We can talk about it later, I thought maybe we could all go down to the south coast, revisit a few places, what do you think?”
“Sounds lovely, Mum,” I say. I could do with some distractions today.
The morning passes quickly but I manage to text Julie while I’m working on reception.
How are you? Everything OK? Missing you this morning xx
It’s some time before I hear back.
It’s awful. Though Luke and his dad are being great. I’ll tell you more later. Are you around this afternoon? Xx
Out with Mum and Dad, they’ve only got another couple of days left here, but I guess we’ll be back later.
Great, I’ll try and get to the flat tonight, then. Have a good day. Say bye to Phil and Jane for me xx
Won’t you be here in the morning?
I’m not sure. I’ll explain later.
This is all very mysterious. Maybe she’s decided to leave early. I guess there’s no point being here longer than necessary, and being an extra complication for Luke. I feel so sad when I think of him. His heart broken twice over, though hopefully he’ll realise that he and Julie weren’t meant to be. And they’ve only been together a very short time. Maybe it won’t even bother him; losing his mum is a much bigger deal.
I have a lovely day with Mum and Dad. We get the same train I caught the other day, my parents sitting across from me, chatting away good-naturedly. I love watching the way they interact. They really like each other. I know that sounds a bit odd – of course they do, they’re married – but I’m not sure all couples who have been married so long still get so much pleasure from each other’s company. For some I think it’s more of a habit, being together. I don’t want that to ever happen to me.
A Second Chance Summer Page 18