He thought of Noah’s breakdown when she took them away the other night. He remembered the look of hope on Jaden’s face, and then the subsequent letdown when he realized life would continue as it had.
“Hello?” Brittany said from her spot there on his knee.
He closed his eyes and raised the phone to his ear.
26
Dane sat at his friend’s bar with a half-eaten plate of food in front of him, watching Jesse flirt with two women a couple of barstools down.
“Ah, so you’re a Gemini. That makes you...,” he said, squinting at her, “excellent in bed, right?”
She grinned back at him. “You have no idea.”
Dane rolled his eyes, unable to believe the crap that guy got away with because women thought he was hot. Dane supposed the fact that he had a certain non-threatening charm about him probably helped, but still.
Jesse looked over at him. “Dane, you’re a Gemini, too, aren’t you?” Dane glared at him, and Jesse lifted his eyebrows. “Lisa here is a Gemini.”
Lisa, who had huge boobs spilling out of a tank top, faced him with a smile. “The twins.”
The whole scene was almost too ridiculous to address. Dane pulled a bill out of his wallet and set it on the bar. “I’ve got to get back to work,” he said to Jesse.
Jesse followed him to the door. “Hey, man. I’m sorry. I just couldn’t resist. Don’t go.”
“I’ve got a meeting in a little while,” he lied.
“What’s going on with you today?” Jesse asked. “You’re definitely not yourself.”
Dane ran his hand through his hair. “I’m fine. Just a little stressed.”
Jesse put his arm around Dane. “Come here. Step into my office.” He guided Dane toward the back. “Kelly,” he said to one of his servers who was standing with another one watching a game. “Can you work the bar?” She nodded and headed that way.
They sat in a booth in the corner. “What’s going on, man?” Jesse asked.
Dane pressed his hands against his face hard, and then wiped them away, trying to relieve some pressure. “Erin left the boys at a church in Panama City on Sunday morning with my name and number for pickup.”
“I’m assuming that wasn’t pre-arranged?”
Dane shook his head.
“Do you still have them?”
Dane stared at his friend. “Yep.”
“Any word from her?”
Dane shook his head, so furious he could barely speak.
Jesse closed his eyes, inhaling a deep breath. As superficial as he could be sometimes, Jesse always came to the plate when he needed to with true compassion. “Man, I’m so sorry.”
“I am, too.”
“How are they?” Jesse asked.
Dane shrugged. “They’re fine. She told them she was just going on a little trip and that they were staying with me. Other than me continuing to come up with excuses as to why we can’t call her, they’re doing okay. Jaden’s suspicious.”
“He’s the older one?”
Dane nodded. “He got a little adamant last night about checking in with her, so we left her a voice mail message. I’m gonna tell him she called back today to check in on them.”
Jesse stared at Dane hard. “How are you doing?”
Dane huffed a laugh. “It’s crazy. I’m so pissed at her for doing this that I want to put my fist through a wall, but then…” He wasn’t sure he wanted to say the next words aloud. He met Jesse’s gaze, gauging him.
“You don’t want her to come back,” Jesse said, reading his mind.
Dane nodded, staring down at the table carved with people’s names and initials.
“How does Marigold feel about all this?” Jesse asked.
Dane gave a humorless smile. “She has no clue. She was there when my phone was ringing with Erin’s caller ID coming across it, before I talked to the lady at the church. She said she couldn’t do this anymore and then gave me a really nice compliment about how I was the best guy on the planet before she kissed me and then left without even looking at me.”
“That sounds like the kiss of death.”
Dane gave him a look.
“Do you love her?” Jesse asked.
Dane swallowed hard, thinking about how she made him feel when they were together, how her smile and her goofy jokes made his heart light up. He thought about her cuddled up next to him on the couch and how he’d never felt so safe and complete as he did with her beside him. He thought about them in his bed, their bodies moving together and how if he knew for sure they could never do that again, he wasn’t sure how he could continue breathing.
He nodded wordlessly.
“And you love those boys, too.”
“No doubt about that.”
Jesse smiled at him and shrugged. “Then you need to go for what you want, in both respects.”
Dane considered him. “What do you mean?”
“You love those boys, and they’re important to you. Ask for shared custody or visitation. Get a lawyer. Put that shit in writing. Agree to take them, but only if it’s on a regular schedule.”
Dane shook his head. “I don’t know. I’d be entangling myself with Erin permanently.”
“How old are they?”
“Six and eight.”
“The eight-year-old will be a teenager in five years. They’ll be in their own world by then.”
A tug-o-war started with Dane’s heart—dealing with Erin versus being a permanent part of the boys’ lives.
“How’s that supposed to work? I don’t get married till they graduate high school?” Dane asked.
“Who says that’s a rule?”
“What woman in her right mind would get mixed up with a guy who is committed to keeping his ex-girlfriend’s kids?”
Jesse smiled. “One who’s already in love with you?”
Dane shook his head, his neck seeping with heat. “She’s not in love with me.”
“You sure about that?”
Dane wanted it to be true more than he’d ever wanted anything in his life.
“Work this shit out, man. Text Erin. Tell her what you want. My money says it’ll draw her back from wherever she is.”
“And then what about Marigold?” Dane asked, letting Jesse guide him right where he needed to go.
Jesse held both arms up in the air like the answer was obvious. “Go for it, man.”
27
Marigold had spent the past week selling her store’s items for below cost, wondering how she was going to pay her final invoices. The good news was that the word of her store closing had spread, and the people had come out en masse to pilfer her things. Her store was starting to look dismal, but that was part of the process, she knew. An empty store equaled less to have to toss out or store somewhere, like she could afford a storage unit right now.
The hardest part of the past week had been that she hadn’t heard a word from Dane. She hadn’t expected to. She had been the one to leave him Sunday, but she still held out hope.
She hadn’t texted him either. If she had, she would have needed to explain that she had pulled out of the hotel bidding altogether and was a huge-ass failure. Those were not words she was ready to utter to anyone yet, especially a guy she was trying to impress.
Her body had been physically aching for him. All she could do while she was slashing prices and watching customers walk out the door for the last time was dream about his body on top of hers. She loved his body. He wasn’t super buff like Bo, but she had never gone for big muscles. They’d always intimidated her. He was just perfect for her, every inch of his boy skin, the indentions in his muscles, the light spread of hair on his arms and his chest and that little patch just below his belly button. She’d been living in a perpetual state of heat for a week.
She picked up her phone, unlocking the screen, tapping her fingernails against the counter. She didn’t want to text him. She just wanted to see him. It was Saturday night though. The guy had a life, unlike her.
&nb
sp; She grabbed her purse from the back and headed home, knowing Bobbie and Fiona were both out. When she got there, she changed into her workout clothes, but the night was cooler than it was the last time she did this, so she slid Dane’s hoodie over her head. She’d say she was returning it to him. That was a legit enough farce of an excuse.
She locked up and headed down the beach in the direction of Dane’s place. This time, she made no pretense of being out on a walk. She just stood below his balcony, staring upward. When he didn’t magically appear, she texted him.
You home?
She knew that he was because the television was on. Good. He hadn’t moved on to the next notch on his bedpost just yet. She hadn’t thought he would have, but the reassurance was nice. Her text alert dinged.
I am. Are you?
She smiled as she typed.
Not exactly. Take a peek out your balcony door.
When he appeared at the balcony, an almost resigned smile came across his lips. Dang. She had completely misread all of this. He seemed so crazy about her just last Sunday, but here he was, the crazy all gone from his disposition.
He shut the door behind him, really softly, like he had someone in there. A cold chill that had nothing to do with the cool fall night covered her.
“Hey,” he said, leaning against the balcony railing. “You out for a walk?”
“Yep.”
He glanced down the beach to their left. “You been far?”
“No, actually, just from there to here.” She pointed in the direction of Fiona’s place.
“Ah,” he said, nodding.
Her heartbeat raced, realizing the full extent of his rejection and her humiliation. “Well, I just wanted to say hi.”
He nodded, staring at her hard. He glanced toward his place and then back at her. God, did he have someone in there? This was worse than she could have ever imagined.
“Can you come up a minute?” he asked.
Temporary relief flooded her, only at the idea that he didn’t have another woman in there. But the look on his face didn’t have her feeling great about his motives. She shrugged. “Sure. Only because I wanted to return your sweatshirt.”
He nodded, seriously. God, she’d been teasing, it being obvious she was making a full-on effort to see him. She entered through the lobby’s back door and headed up the stairs, winding herself from the effort. God, she needed to exercise.
She went to knock on the door, but he opened it at the same time. She smiled. “Hi.”
He ran his hand through his hair, looking at his guest bedroom door, and then back at her. “Hi,” he said in a voice much softer than hers had been.
“Are we hunting wabbits?” she whispered.
He waved her in, and then led her to his guest room. He opened the door to reveal a king-sized bed swallowing two blond-headed little boys whole. Her heart sank to the ground.
He closed the door, meeting her gaze with an apologetic expression. “Let’s go outside,” he said, and headed to the balcony. After closing the door behind her, leaving it cracked, he ran his hand through his hair, smiling at her, and then tossed up his hands. “I wanted to text you this week. It’s all I’ve thought about. But I just didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to explain.”
She narrowed her gaze. “How long have they been here?”
He closed his eyes, letting out a deep breath, and then set his gaze on her. “All week. My ringing phone last Sunday morning wasn’t Erin. I mean, it was the first time or two, obviously. But after that, it was a lady who taught Sunday school at a church in PCB. Erin dropped off the boys and gave her my name as a contact for pickup.”
Marigold’s stomach curdled. “Have you heard from her?”
“Just the voicemail she left when I didn’t pick up. She said she was sorry, and that it was just something she needed to do.”
Marigold felt like someone knocked the wind out of her with her hands tied behind her back. “So you’ve had them all week?”
He nodded, glancing in the direction of the bedroom. “I’ve taken them to school every day and picked them up. I’ve been fixing dinners and school lunches. It’s been insane.”
“I’ll bet.” Her mind raced with the semantics of it all. “What about their school stuff?”
“They both had a backpack when I picked them up with some school stuff and a few clothes. I had to go to Target and get them more clothes and stuff.”
“Dane, this is nuts.”
“You’re telling me?”
She turned toward the railing, gaping out at the dark ocean night like it held answers to this mess. She turned back toward him. “Does anyone at the school say anything about it?”
“They know me from when I used to pick them up when she and I were together, and beyond.” He looked down at the Adirondack chair on his balcony, shaking his head.
Marigold held her hands out to the sides. “So, this is it? You’re their caregiver?”
“For now.”
“And you’re okay with it?” she asked. He ran a hand through his hair, looking everywhere but at her, and she was regretful she’d said that. “Don’t answer that.”
“No, it’s a fair question.” He tossed a hand in the direction of the bedroom. “I love them. I’ve loved them from the moment I met them. I grew up with no father. I know what that’s like. And I’m not making any excuses for Erin, believe me, but being a single mom isn’t easy. What she did was wrong. But knowing the struggles my mother went through raising us alone, part of me can’t hate her for this.”
Marigold rested against the balcony railing, letting it all process through. She knew nothing of single parents and abandoned kids. Any opinion she would have would be based on a lifetime of a tight-knit family who was so close they all worked in a business together, other than her of course. She was a square peg in a round hole with them, so she’d fled. These boys wanted what she’d tossed away.
“Hey,” he said, moving toward her. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
She glanced up at him. “What?” And then she felt a tear fall down her cheek. She didn’t even realize it was happening. She wiped it away. “No, I’m not upset. Not about this.” She closed her eyes, shaking her head as if that could clear out the cobwebs that were occupying her brain. She opened her eyes and met his gaze. “I’m so sorry you’re going through this, Dane.”
He smiled. “You know what’s weird? I’m not.”
Her stomach navigated a wave of unease. “Have you notified anyone?” she asked.
“I haven’t.”
“What are you going to do if she comes back for them, or when, I guess?”
“I don’t know. I’m thinking about a lot of options. I’m thinking of asking her if I can see them more, maybe set up a weekly visitation. Maybe if she has some help, she won’t need to do this again.”
So many things were going through Marigold’s head, mainly the fact that he needed to know that these boys weren’t his responsibility. But he knew that. It didn’t need to be said aloud.
“Look, I wanted to have more information before I talked to you about this, which is the main reason I haven’t contacted you this week. I don’t meet with the lawyer until Monday.”
She tried to mask her shock. “You’re meeting with a lawyer? Like an…adoption lawyer?”
He moved toward her and took her hand. “Listen, Marigold, these past few weeks with you have brought me out of a funk I never knew I could break free of. You’ve been like a light in a dark tunnel. You’re this precious gift that I never dreamed I could possibly receive. I love the way you make me laugh with every other thing you say. I imagine a life with you, and that life is filled with joy and love and infinite satisfaction.” He dropped her hand and held both of her arms, bearing his gaze into hers. “I’m fucking crazy about you, Marigold. I’m trying to be careful here because I know this is a lot to put on you right now, but no matter what happens between us, I need you to know, unequivocally, that my feelings for you are the
realest and most genuine thing I’ve ever known in my entire life.”
Marigold’s whole body quivered like the aftershock of an earthquake. She put a hand over her mouth, not having a clue what to say next, and afraid of what unintelligible sound would come out if she tried.
He took a step back from her. “I know this is all so unfair to you. I can’t ask you to be with me right now because I have no answers about the future and what it will hold with those two boys in my life. I’m at Erin’s mercy. I can’t even imagine what you think of me or the way I’m handling this, but I just know, as much as I love you, I can’t abandon those boys right now.”
Marigold’s hand shook as she lifted it to pull a strand of hair out of her eyes. “Wow,” she said, her voice shaky, too. “And to think I was on a mission for a booty call.”
Her joke fell flat on its ass, but it wasn’t like she understood how to deal with things other than with humor.
“I don’t know what I’m trying to ask of you here,” he said. “I’m just giving you the information I think you need.”
To make a decision were his unspoken words.
A little blond head appeared at the door. “Dane, can I stay up with you? I can’t sleep.” It was the older boy, Jaden.
“Hi, Jaden,” Marigold said, trying her best to force a genuine smile, but probably looking like something out of a creepy fun house between her tears and what had to be her running eye makeup.
“Hi, Miss Marigold.” He turned back to Dane. “Can I get some water?”
“Of course. You don’t have to ask. You know where the cups are.” The boy walked away and Dane turned back to her.
She shook her head. “Man, those two are lucky to have you.”
“I don’t know about that. What does a single guy living in a condo on the beach know about parenting?”
She smiled at him, her heart melting with love for this man. “A whole lot more than you give yourself credit for, I’m sure.” She embraced him, holding him tight to her chest. As his arms wrapped around her back, her heart ached with love and loss so badly it almost made her sick at her stomach. She pulled away glancing into the living room where Jaden was sitting on the couch watching television. “I’m gonna get outta here.”
WATERCOLOR WISHES: Love Along Hwy 30A, Book Four Page 20