“Out of curiosity, how is your relationship when the boys aren’t there?”
Marigold leaned against the counter. “Oh, my God. Cassidy. I’m freaking nuts over him.” She glanced around to make sure they were alone, and then set her gaze on Cassidy. “I told him I loved him before I left for home.”
Cassidy lifted her eyebrow. “And?”
“And he told me he loved me, too.” Hearing the words said aloud gave them life, making her whole body tingle at the thought.
“Love, wow. That’s rare, you know?”
“You’re telling me? I’m thirty, and that’s the first time I’ve heard those words or said them. You know, Malcolm, who has been trying to marry me for a decade, has never even said that to me.”
Cassidy gave her that look that told Marigold she was in for a battle.
“What?” Marigold asked, lifting off the counter and crossing her arms.
Cassidy backed away. “Nothing. I’m just listening.”
“You have opinions. I see it in your eyes.”
“I’ve not said a word.”
“But you’re thinking words.”
Cassidy chuckled and Marigold waited her out, staring at her hard. Finally, Cassidy tossed up both hands. “I’m just saying finding a guy like Dane and having him fall in love with you, and you him…that’s rare. I’m not saying you won’t find a different guy. You’re as beautiful on the inside as you are on the out. But the kind of guy who would put up with that woman’s bullshit because he cares about those boys who aren’t even his…that’s a man.”
Chills ran up Marigold’s spine, a blanket of warmth covering her body.
“I know we all have this thought of an ideal relationship that’s clean and baggage-free, but it’s just not reality,” Cassidy said. “Life is messy and complicated, and we have to take the bad with the good. And those boys getting to experience a healthy relationship with you and Dane is good. I know this isn’t what you would have chosen, but maybe it’s an opportunity to do some good yourself.”
The bell on the door dinged and they looked up to find a haggard woman with two little blond boys in tow. “I told you I don’t like the chocolate ones except for if they have the white icing on top,” one of the boys said.
The other one tugged at her shirtsleeve. “You said whoever shut up would get two and I did but he didn’t. You couldn’t hear him but he whispered at me. It’s not fair if he gets two.”
The woman put her hand to her forehead, eyes closed in desperation. “Please, just get whatever the f…” She stopped herself, inhaling the breath of the century.
Marigold stilled as she realized exactly who this was. “Fuck,” she said under her breath.
Erin opened her eyes. “Both of you be quiet or you’re getting nothing, do you hear me?”
“But Mom, you said—”
Erin held up both hands. “I know what I said, but I need two seconds without either of you speaking a word. Can I have two seconds?”
“Marigold!” Jaden ran toward the counter, and Marigold tried to figure out what to do. It was too late to run.
Erin blinked. “Oh,” she said, her eyes hyper-focused on Marigold like she was seeing a three-headed gorilla.
“Welcome to Seaside Sweets,” Marigold said, forcing a smile.
Erin jerked a thumb at the door. “Um, boys, we’re gonna go.”
Noah’s face contorted. “No! You said I could get two.”
Jaden made his way behind the counter and wrapped his arms around Marigold’s legs, wordlessly. She hugged him back, her heart filling to the brim.
Erin rubbed her forehead. “Boys, I said—”
“Please, come on in,” Cassidy said, waving them over. “Hello, I’m Cassidy Anderson. Are you a friend of Marigold’s?”
Cassidy was such a quick study. Marigold could tell that she’d caught on to exactly who this was. The fact that Marigold had spent the past week filling her in on the whole drawn-out situation complete with full descriptions of all the players didn’t hurt.
“N-no,” Erin said, looking somewhat contrite and really caught off-guard.
Marigold held her hand out over the counter, Jaden having unlatched from her but still close by. “I’m Marigold Appleton. You’re Erin, right?”
Erin reluctantly took Marigold’s hand. “Yes, Dane’s ex,” she said, glancing at Cassidy as she said it. She wasn’t being bitchy though, just informational. Erin looked Marigold up and down. “I heard your shop was closing.” She pursed her lips in concession. “Sorry to hear that.”
“Yeah, well,” Marigold said, not sure how else to respond.
They all just sort of stood there in awkward silence while the boys put their hands on every single thing in sight.
“Hey,” Cassidy said. “I’ve got a batch of cupcakes that got a little too brown to sell. Would either of you like to help me ice them for practice?”
They both got really excited, Noah turning to Erin. “Can we?”
Erin eyed Marigold and then Cassidy, her shoulders sagging. “Yeah, that’d be great. Thanks.” Cassidy disappeared into the back with two chatty boys in tow.
Marigold leaned on the counter. “You want a brownie?”
Erin looked her up and down. “Something tells me you don’t eat them.”
“Oh, I do. But I also starve myself the rest of the day. It’s super unhealthy and dysfunctional.” The slightest hint of a smile crossed Erin’s lips. Marigold plated two brownies and handed her one along with a water bottle. “Let’s go sit.”
Erin walked toward a table, slowly, still feeling Marigold out. Marigold sat down and handed her a fork, no idea why she was doing this, but just knowing it felt right to be this woman’s friend and not her sworn enemy.
Marigold took a bite of the brownie and shut her eyes. “Oh, God. The first bite’s always the best. The chocolate, the salty caramel. Better than…” She stopped herself before she finished that sentence.
“Better than sex?” Erin asked.
Marigold shrugged. “Well, better than some sex, for sure.”
Erin did smile then and took a bite. After she chewed a minute, she met Marigold’s gaze. “Damn. You weren’t kidding.”
Marigold eyed her. “Did you just leave Dane’s house, or were you on your way there?”
She furrowed her brow. “Dane’s in St. Louis. You didn’t know that?”
Marigold gave her a small smile. “Nope. We’re not together.”
Erin blinked. “Seriously?”
Marigold nodded, taking another bite of brownie that she didn’t even want anymore.
“What happened? I thought you two were probably serious. You’re the first girl he’s ever had around the boys.”
“I don’t know. It’s just…the timing isn’t right.” She didn’t mean to, but she glanced in the direction of the kitchen.
Erin frowned, and then rolled her eyes dropping her fork. “Fuck.” She pulled a napkin from the dispenser and dabbed at her mouth. “You’d think I’d be thrilled, but I just feel like shit.” Erin eyed her. “He chose my kids over you?”
Marigold bit her lip. “Essentially, yeah, I guess he did. But I’m not bitter about that. Really, I’m not. I totally get it. He adores them. And they’re fabulous kids.”
“So fabulous that you want nothing to do with them,” Erin said.
Marigold closed her eyes, wincing. “That’s not what I—”
“I know. That wasn’t fair. I get it. I’m probably not that much older than you. Do you think I meant to be a thirty-two-year-old single mom of two?”
Marigold knew she needed to watch herself, but she couldn’t squander this opportunity. “What happened between you and Dane, if you don’t mind me asking?” Erin gave her a warning look, so Marigold held up a hand in surrender. “I know I have no right to ask that, but I just can’t imagine why things fell apart. I mean, he loves your kids so much, and he wants to be a part of their lives. Why would you not want that?”
Erin scratched
her head, moisture pooling in the corner of her eye. “It’s not him. It’s me.” Marigold waited while Erin collected herself, resisting the urge to fill the uncomfortable silence with babble. Erin looked up at her with a sardonic smile. “Apparently, I’m not happy unless I’m screwing things up. And even then, I’m not happy. Dane was this amazing guy who was perfect in every way including with my kids, which should be the only way that really matters. So, of course, I had to go and make sure that he never would want me again.”
“Was there someone else?” Marigold asked, too curious to refrain.
Erin inhaled a deep breath and shrugged. “Not anyone who mattered.” Marigold tried hard to keep her expression impassive. Erin glared at her. “I didn’t sleep with Dane after I slept with the other guy, if that’s what you’re wondering. I’m not a monster.”
“I’m not judging,” Marigold lied.
“Yes you are. You’ve been judging me since the moment you came off that elevator, probably before that.”
“Okay, yes I am. But only because I think you’re nuts for giving up the best guy in the world.”
Erin’s eyebrows went up. “Like you’re doing?”
Marigold drew back, heat running up her neck.
“Look, do you think I enjoy screwing up Dane’s life? He hates me. I see the resentment in his eyes every time he looks at me. If you think I like experiencing that every time I see him, you’re crazy.”
“Then why do you do it?” Marigold asked, her voice coming out more desperate than she wished it would have.
Erin held out a hand toward the double swinging doors. “Why do you think?”
Marigold felt like a hammer knocked her upside the head. “I…I just assumed you needed a break or something.”
She huffed a humorless laugh. “What do you think I do when they’re with him? Go get a massage and relax like a sane person? I spend the entire time stressing out about what I’ve done to Dane and how I’m dragging him farther down into this pit with me. And then I spend weeks telling the boys that we can’t see him again because he’s got his own life. And then Noah will cry, my God how Noah cries. And Jaden will just mope or worse, tell me it’s okay and then shut himself off with his earbuds and his stupid game. So I cave. I cave every time. And I screw Dane over and we start the cycle again.”
Marigold just sat there, taking in Erin’s burden, the enormity of what her life must feel like. She eased her hand toward Erin’s, which was holding the fork, messing with the brownie. Erin cut her eyes down to Marigold’s hand, stilling, but letting Marigold take it. She squeezed it and held on, wordlessly, because there were no words to make this situation better.
A tear fell out of Erin’s eye and she grabbed for a napkin with her free hand. “Why couldn’t you have been a bitch?”
Marigold smiled. “I’m sure there are plenty who would say that I am, or have been at some point, at least.”
Erin looked up at her with bloodshot eyes. “If my boys had to be around you once in a while, that wouldn’t be the end of the world.”
Marigold squinted. “Was there a compliment in there somewhere?”
Erin rolled her eyes. “I don’t know you, but if Dane has chosen you after what I put him through, you can’t be all bad. Besides, the boys freaking love you.”
“Really?” Marigold asked, both surprised and elated.
Erin pointed in the direction of the counter. “Do you think Jaden hugs people like that normally? I’ll just tell you, he doesn’t.”
Marigold grinned. “Wow. Well, they’re not so bad either. Sorry, I don’t know much about kids.”
“That’s probably why they like you. You don’t make them feel like kids.”
“I’m sure it’s because I act like a kid myself. I’m a complete hot mess. That’s the main reason I ended things with Dane. I feel like I’ve got growing up of my own to do before I could even consider taking care of someone else’s kid.” Erin’s eyebrows went up, so Marigold held up both hands. “Not that I’d be taking care of your kids. But I’d be there when they were, eventually at least, and I’m sure situations would come up, and—”
It was Erin’s turn to take Marigold’s hand. “Relax. Of course you’d be taking care of my kids when they were there. You’re an adult. I’d expect you to discipline them and deny them stuff.” She grinned. “All that fun stuff us moms get to do.”
Marigold about lost her stomach at the word mom.
“Oh, now don’t look so terrified,” Erin said. “It’s not all miserable.”
Noah busted through the double swinging doors. “Mom! Look at my cupcake.”
Erin viewed the atrocity. “It’s perfect. Can I have it?”
He pulled it in toward his chest, smiling. “No. I get two. You said I got two.”
“One for now and one for later, okay?”
“Okay,” he uttered as he bit into his cupcake, icing up his nose.
Jaden came out inspecting his cupcake like a pastry chef, and then biting into it.
Erin stood. “What do I owe you for this?” she asked, indicating the boys and the cupcakes. Marigold waved her off, and Erin narrowed her gaze. “You know, oddly, I think you’re just the type of woman I’d choose to be around my kids, if I was forced to choose one, that is.”
Marigold smiled. “That means a lot. Thanks.”
Erin gave her a tempered smile in return, and then gathered her boys, who, wrapped up in their cupcakes, followed their mom out of the store like little ducklings.
Cassidy sidled up beside Marigold. “Well, how did that go?”
Marigold sighed. “I think she might have helped me understand her a little.”
“Wow. That’s big stuff.”
Marigold eyed Cassidy, pursing her lips at her. “You sure you don’t think I’d screw up these kids worse than they already have it if I was in Dane’s life right now?”
Cassidy smiled at her. “I’m fairly certain they’ll be just fine. Now, all you’ve got to do is go get your man.”
“If he’ll have me,” Marigold said, her stomach already in knots at the idea of approaching him after all they’d been through.
Cassidy wrapped her arm around her. “Something tells me this is all going to work out just like it should.”
32
Dane unloaded groceries, putting the ice cream bars in the freezer. The boys would be back on Saturday for a sleepover, so he wanted to be prepared.
He pulled the champagne out of the brown bag and held it up, waiting for the flush of pride for winning the hotel bid to hit, but he was just too damned depressed to celebrate. He’d have to put on a brave face for Ethan.
Maybe the real celebration was the deal he’d struck with Erin for visitation—every other weekend. They’d even had it written up by a lawyer and notarized, and the agreement included wording to prevent her pulling the same crap she’d been doing lately. He knew it was just a piece of paper in the end, and that she could still do whatever she wanted, but it made him feel more stable and less like he was covering for a bomb to drop at any time.
Three weeks had gone by since Marigold had told Dane she was leaving. He’d stupidly driven by her shop a handful of times, hoping to see her convertible. But from what he could tell, she was out of there and someone else was already moving in.
He’d even driven by Fiona’s condo late at night, but still nothing. She was gone. That was all there was to it. And as much as his hand burned to type a text to her, he couldn’t. She had moved on. She was living in a different city, seeing old friends or meeting new people, starting a new job. The last thing she needed was him throwing a wrench in her plans.
When she’d told him she loved him, he wasn’t sure he’d known a warmth so real, even though it was said with a huge but. He’d taken those words and held them in his heart, wishing like hell he could somehow make all of this work. Erin, the boys, Marigold—it was a puzzle that he couldn’t solve, no matter how hard he tried.
A knock sounded at the door, and Dane opene
d it to find Ethan standing there arms wide open. “Who’s ready to celebrate?”
Dane plastered on a smile, needing to keep his spirits up for Ethan’s sake. This was a big deal they’d won and would be a great resume builder for their company. Ethan hated it when Dane moped as he put it, and tonight was a time for celebration, not sadness.
Dane held up the bottle of champagne. “Bottoms up.”
Ethan gave him that resigned smile that said he knew him all too well to fall for any bullshit. “Are you sure you don’t mind if Ashe comes?”
“Of course not. You’re in a relationship with him. He’s important to you, so he’s important to me.”
“Thank you, brother.”
The elevator dinged and Ashe walked off of it with their assistant Ginger and her boyfriend Mark. “Look who I picked up downstairs.”
“I hate to crash your party, but I don’t ever turn down an expensive meal on the Knight brothers,” Ginger said.
Ethan put his arm around her. “You probably did more to get this deal done than any of us.”
“Well, I won’t argue that.”
Dane held up the bottle. “Are we ready for a toast now?”
Ashe rubbed his hands together. “Ooh, you got the good stuff. Yes, please.”
Dane took the bottle into the kitchen and pulled out five wine glasses. “Sorry I don’t have champagne flutes,” Dane said.
“If you did, I would seriously be questioning your orientation,” Ashe said.
Dane’s text alert sounded, and he pulled it out of his pocket, wondering who it could be since the two people who texted him most were there with him. His heart almost jumped out of his chest when Marigold’s name populated his screen.
Are you busy?
Dane set the bottle down. “Uh, Ethan, will you please take over here? I’ll just be a second.”
He walked out to his balcony and closed the door behind him, staring at his phone. He didn’t even know what to say. He typed the word no, but he needed a little something more to it. His brain just wasn’t working properly at the moment.
WATERCOLOR WISHES: Love Along Hwy 30A, Book Four Page 23