I had heard it said that we should render "blind faith" in the belief that Jesus is the Redeemer of all mankind. Now, I discovered that nothing could have been further from the truth. The apostle Paul had specifically told Christians to "Test everything. Hold on to the good" (1 Thessalonians 5:21). Apparently, Luke agreed, as he said, "I myself have carefully investigated everything from the beginning. ..so that you may know with certainty of the things you have been taught" (Luke 1:3-4). Jesus Himself had rebuked His opponents for not using the same methods to test His claims as they were accustomed to using to predict the weather (see Matthew 16:1-4 and Luke 12:54-56).
The more I searched for the truth, the more God's truth was being revealed to me.
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Another thing that convinced me beyond any reasonable doubt that Jesus Christ is the Son of God was the willingness of the original disciples to die for their faith. As a mobster, I found this to be overwhelming evidence.
I had often been asked why the new breed of mobsters were not "stand-up" guys like the old-timers before them. The people who asked this question were just not aware of the history of law enforcement and the mob in this country. Certainly, the perception of a new, frailer mobster was out there, but the truth had less to do with the character of the present-day mob guys than it did with the increased arsenal of weapons that law enforcement had at its disposal to combat organized crime.
For example, Al Capone was the most notorious mob figure of the twentieth century. Murder, extortion, and bootlegging were just the more visible of his pursuits, and yet the government never was able to indict him on any of that. Although he ruled the Chicago Mafia and made headlines almost every day, having a much higher profile than John Gotti of more recent times, Capone was convicted of nothing more than income tax evasion. He was sentenced to fifteen years in prison on that charge, and he only did half of that.
For a mobster, that was nothing. A mobster could do seven, ten, or even fifteen years and count it as nothing. Then he got out, and mob business went on as usual.
But if Capone had been around today, I knew, he would be indicted for racketeering, a charge that could include counts for murder, extortion, bootlegging, tax evasion, and all the rest. Capone would be arrested, and, under the provisions of the Bail Reform Act of 1984, he would be held without bail as a "danger to the community." He would thus be forced to fight from the confines of a federal prison against a mountain of charges facing him. And that was much more difficult. Virtually all of the bosses of New York's five families had suffered similar fates in the Mafia commission case of 1985 and in countless other mob cases that occurred in the 1980s and '90s. I knew firsthand, because I had been indicted twice on federal racketeering charges myself.
Once arrested (and the arrest would come), the indictments would not stop until there was a conviction. Instead of fifteen years, Al Capone would have received something more like fifteen hundred years or life in prison. At the very least, he would have received fifty, a hundred, or even three hundred years, like mobsters were getting every day. And, under the new Sentencing Reform Act, he would do eighty-five percent of his time with no parole, no extra time off for good behavior, and no probation.
At that point, Capone would have been finished. If my dad had gotten hit with fifty years in 1967 (long before Rudolph Giuliani declared an all-out war on the mob in New York, a war that eventually caught fire in mob strongholds around the country), what could Capone have expected?
Still, with all the weapons the government had in its arsenal-the racket-busting laws, sophisticated surveillance technology, and lengthy prison sentences-the truth was that none of these weapons would have been nearly as effective if they had not served to develop the single most powerful weapon that was used to cripple the mob-informants.
Giuliani and the feds finally figured out that the mob had to be brought down from within. The new weapons exposed the one weakness the mob really had-a weakness in individual mobsters that caused countless mob defections. And if the same weapons had existed in the days of Al Capone, the results back then would have been the same.
It didn't matter how old a mobster was or what kind of character he displayed, when he was arrested, denied bail, and suddenly faced a lifetime in prison, his mob boss had better pray. Was he loved, admired, respected, and believed in enough that his soldier was ready to give his life for him? Had he been a leader who inspired his followers enough to command complete loyalty under the most severe conditions? Could he hope that his soldier believed in the honesty, integrity, and loyalty La Cosa Nostra purported to represent, now that he was about to be asked to surrender his life for that belief? This was what we were commanded to do when we took the oath, and I had taken it, knowing full well the consequences.
The mob possessed another weapon to inspire loyalty in its soldiers. It was called fear. Fear was a powerful emotion that, in the old days, kept guys quiet. But the feds had learned to use this tool to their own ends. Now, the question was, who should a man fear most: the mob or the feds? All too often a mobster's fear of the family was replaced by a greater fear of the law. The feds, oddly enough, became more feared by mobsters than their own bosses. This resulted in a veritable flood of defections, and since the early 1980s, the number of made men who have betrayed the oath they took when they were inducted into La Cosa Nostra is staggering.
These defections were not limited to soldiers. Captains and bosses from all the families around the country had also traded their loyalty to the mob and to each other for the freedom and protection the government could offer in return for their cooperation in prosecuting their fellow mobsters. We have all heard the names paraded across the evening newscasts. Even John Gotti, the most revered mobster since Al Capone, wasn't able to inspire loyalty in his most trusted ally and soldier, Sammy "The Bull" Gravano, who rolled over on him.
This did not surprise me, and it only served to demonstrate that the very fabric of the mob, the principle upon which it was founded, was weak. It had always been so. That fact just hadn't been exposed until recent times.
The mob asked men to surrender their lives to the family, but it offered no legitimate reason for doing so. So it was no wonder that when push came to shove, when their backs were really up against the wall, individual mobsters were unable to find a compelling reason to remain loyal to the oath.
The oath they took offered them the opportunity to acquire money, power, and an inflated ego, but how quickly that all became meaningless when their lives were suddenly on the line! And once the weapon of fear had been dealt with, there was nothing left to hold a man to his oath. I speak from experience, for I am among the ranks of those who betrayed the oath.
And the mob was not the only organization that had experienced near-wholesale betrayal among its ranks. When President Nixon was experiencing his Watergate travails, it took only twenty-nine days for all of his top lieutenants to forsake their loyalty to the president and begin testifying against him. Imagine, twenty-nine days for some of the most powerful men in the world to run to the law to save themselves. Led by Nixon's most trusted confidant, John Dean, all of his men except for one (ex-FBI tough guy G. Gordon Liddy) opted to save themselves from the threat of some negligible prison time. As a consequence, the most powerful man in the world could not maintain loyalty from his most trusted allies.
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Suddenly, as I thought about all this in my cell, I realized that my life in the mob had provided me with very powerful and convincing evidence that proved, beyond any doubt, that Jesus Christ was the Son of God, that He was Lord and Savior of the world. I found this evidence in the lives of the men who followed Him.
These were ordinary people from all walks of life. Many of them had been fishermen, but one was a doctor, and another was a tax collector. Still, all of them had accepted the call of the young carpenter to follow Him.
But what had been their motivation in doing so? Jesus had no other followers, no organization, and no reputation to entice these m
en to follow Him. And He promised them nothing.
They were not asked to take an oath that day, to shed their blood, or to swear allegiance under penalty of death-as I had been required to do. They were not faced with the fear of retribution from Jesus or His family if they did not obey.
In fact, with the disciples of Jesus, it was the exact opposite. They were threatened with retribution by those who condemned them for following the young teacher. They would be harmed if they did join His family. And yet they not only chose to follow Him, they chose to follow Him to their deaths.
Most of the early disciples of Jesus suffered violent deaths according to church tradition. Philip, for instance, was stoned to death. Barnabas was burned to death. Peter was crucified upside down. Paul was beheaded, as was Matthew. Andrew was also crucified. Luke was hanged. Thomas was speared to death. Mark was dragged to his death. James was clubbed to death. And John was abandoned and left to die on the Isle of Patmos.
And why had they suffered so? They had not been criminals and were not bound to a criminal organization. They had done no wrong against the state. They were not violent men, and they posed no material threat to society. Jesus had taught them to obey the laws of the land and to "render unto Caesar the things that belong to Caesar" (Matthew 22:21).
No, these had not been evil men, and yet they had all met violent deaths. Why? Each of them had been put to death simply because he believed in something with all of his heart, mind, and soul. That common belief was that Jesus Christ was the Son of God.
All that these men would have had to do to escape the horrible fate that awaited them was to renounce their belief in Jesusjust as I renounced my belief in La Cosa Nostra. There was no indictment hanging over their heads. They faced no jail time. They were not being asked to cooperate with law enforcement officials and give testimony concerning the crimes of their fellow apostles. There were no crimes. So all they had to do was renounce Jesus, and they could walk away with their lives. I was convinced that there wasn't a mob guy around who would not have taken that deal. Still, to a man, the early disciples of Jesus had adamantly and boldly refused to deny Him. In the face of certain death, not one of them had broken rank and agreed to renounce his membership in the army of Christ.
What was even more incredible to me was that Jesus was no longer with them in the flesh. He was gone. No one could ever hurt Him now, and they knew this. So why would they have taken the position they did? What could have made these men react in a way that flew in the face of any logical or reasonable course of action they could have been expected to take? The answer is clear: they were convinced, beyond any reasonable doubt, that Jesus Christ was truly the Son of God.
And if that is true, what convinced them? It had to be the evidence placed in front of them. They were convinced by what they saw with their own eyes, by what they heard with their own ears, and by what their fellow disciples experienced as well. In 2 Peter 1:16, the apostle tells us, "We did not follow cleverly invented stories when we told you about the power and coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, but we were eyewitnesses of His majesty." The apostle John clearly corroborates this testimony in 1 John 1:1-5, when he speaks of seeing, hearing, and touching the "life" that came down from the Father in Heaven. None of the disciples were following Jesus by blind faith, but because of hard, cold factual evidence.
Many of these men had seen Jesus crucified on the cross. They saw Him die, and some of them had fled in fear. Then, three days later, they had seen Him again, and He was alive, risen from the dead-just as He told them He would be. If that was not true, how else could I explain their dramatic aboutface? Only a few days before, some of them had denied that they even knew Him. This, to me, was strong irrefutable evidence.
All the enemies of Jesus would have had to do at the time was produce His dead body and drag Him through the streets. If they could have displayed Him in the village square for all to see, that would have been the end of His following.
Jesus had plenty of powerful enemies who were determined to stamp out His name for all time. "Kill the myth" was their cry, for they believed Him to be an imposter. He was as dangerous and infamous a figure to His enemies in that day as Osama Bin Laden would later become for the United States. I was sure that a manhunt must have been conducted for the body of Jesus that would rival the hunt for Bin Laden.
We all know that if Bin Laden had been killed in the attacks on Afghanistan and his body would have been found, his corpse would have been displayed on the front page of every newspaper in the world. Then, the enemies of the crazed madman would have proclaimed victory, and history would have recorded it so that all future generations would know the truth. In that case, Bin Laden's most loyal followers would be singing a different tune.
Finding the body of Jesus would have exposed Him as a boldfaced liar and a madman, and it would have made informants of His followers. But there was no body, only a risen Savior, so the would-be informants remained loyal to their "boss" until their deaths.
That day in my jail cell, as I read the story of Jesus as recorded in the Bible, there was no way I could dismiss it as a fairy tale. No credible source had ever been able to refute it, and, in fact, some independent sources corroborated the stories. As I thought about it logically and applied my sense of reasoning, I knew that Jesus was alive or His followers would never have risked their lives to proclaim Him the Son of the almighty God.
If Jesus had not risen from the dead, then the early Christian disciples would have become bigger informants and turncoats than Joseph Valachi, Jimmy "The Weasel" Fratianni, and Sammy "the Bull" combined. And the story of Jesus would have been more infamous than that of Al Capone, John Gotti, or even Adolph Hitler. The fact that the apostles remained loyal to Jesus until their deaths is irrefutable evidence, beyond any reasonable doubt, that Jesus Christ is truly the Son of God.
Case closed!
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The more I learned about Jesus, the more I was drawn to His amazing leadership style. One of the most impressive qualities He had as a leader was His absolute and genuine humility, an ability to control His power. I knew that it was what a man held under control that revealed his true leadership, not his ability to dominate and control others. Who was more powerful than the Son of God? No one. Yet He was in complete control of Himself.
When it came to being a leader, I realized that Jesus was the antithesis of the men who ran the mob. We wanted to flex our muscles, show our strength, and be respected by all, while Jesus wanted only to be loved. We wanted to be served, while Jesus made it clear that He came to serve and not to be served (Matthew 20:28). Through His Son, God had shown the world the qualities of a true leader, and as I saw them for the first time, I was genuinely moved.
And what about Jesus' message? All of His teachings seemed to boil down to one crystal clear message, a clear directive as to how we should live our lives here on earth. He taught us to love God first and to love our neighbor as we would love ourselves. If we would apply our sense of reasoning to the everyday experiences of life, I realized, we could quickly see that there should be no other way to live. I tried to imagine what a wonderful place this earth would be if every human being followed those two commands: love God and love one another.
Having been totally convinced of the deity of Jesus Christ based upon this revelation of His style of leadership and His message, added to the evidence I had previously uncovered, I now began to study the Bible with much more zeal.
I became fascinated with the book of Proverbs, the book of wisdom. This was interesting because I had been around many people in my lifetime who I considered to be wise and intelligent. Living and surviving in the mob doesn't make one ignorant of the ways of life. To the contrary, survival has a way of sharpening the intellect. Some of my former associates were so intelligent that I am sure many of them could have made significant contributions to society in all walks of life had they not chosen a life of crime. Despite that fact, I now realized that I had to honestly admit that I had n
ot found anyone on the face of this earth with the absolute wisdom that was presented in the book of Proverbs. There was no question in my mind that the teachings of that book were not of human origin, but rather from God Himself.
A diligent study of the book of Proverbs will provide a clear and sensible answer to almost any moral, social, or spiritual issue one might encounter in life. You might have heard that mob guys were into Machiavelli, a great Italian philosopher. His book is almost required reading for mob guys in prison. Mobsters believed the Machiavellian way of thinking would help them outsmart the next guy at a "sit-down." Even my dad was into him. If only they would have discovered Proverbs. Who knows what might have been?
Another element that provided concrete evidence of the Bible's divine origin was the fulfillment of its many prophecies, in many cases right down to the smallest detail. I was totally amazed by this factual evidence that provided further proof beyond a reasonable doubt that the Bible was inspired by God. No other religion contained this element of proven prophecy. Entire books had been written on the subject, and the evidence was irrefutable. I was so thankful to God that my prison experience was providing me with this period of enlightenment.
As I expanded my search for the truth, the evidence just kept piling up. Comparing the evidence in support of the Bible to that which was offered to substantiate the validity of other faiths, my research left me with only one conclusion. From the history of creation as told in Genesis to the mystery of eternity revealed in Revelation, the evidence proved beyond any and all doubt that the Bible was truly the Word of God. I was thankful that I had opened my heart to receive that truth, and that the truth was setting me free.
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