Lucinda flipped a hand. “I don’t know. I just don’t see a man like him going through that kind of trouble unless he thought he had to. You had to have said or done something that made him think you needed to be taught a lesson.”
“What?” Kimber couldn’t believe her ears, which were ringing with disbelief. “You’re joking, right?”
“Well, you can be a little harsh when it comes to our brothers,” pointed out Tory. “Not that you deserved to be accosted by some paid shadow thugs. If that’s true, I agree the alpha went too far. How could he trust that they were going to follow his plan? They could’ve lied and really hurt you both.”
Lia conceded with her best friend. “Tory has a point. You don’t give most shiefs the respect they deserve. Jackson is the gold standard. Good breeding, strong, handsome, yet you brushed him aside as if he was kinda beneath you. We all saw it on multiple occasions. The first day you met him. The meet-and-greet. You were so standoffish. Men do crazy-stupid things to ‘win’ the girl. I don’t think what he did was that bad, in the end. There’s no way he was going to let them hurt you for real.”
“I agree,” Beth said, as if she finally found a bright side. “I actually think it was sort of sweet. I doubt my mate would go to such lengths to win me over.”
“My mate thinks splitting wood with an ax in one hand should make me wet,” drawled Abigail.
“Right?” sneered Lucinda.
“In fact, if the fourth creep hadn’t shown up, you would’ve been none the wiser, and gotten to see what Jackson was made of.”
You are now in…the Twilight Zone.
Blood boiling—in disbelief that all six were taking the alpha’s side—Kimber strived to keep from screaming her frustration. “The vamp wasn’t a creep. He could’ve easily allowed the assault to go on, but he interceded, even at the risk of his own safety—”
“But he wasn’t actually in danger,” Claudine pointed out.
Kimber slammed down her mug, coffee sloshing on the counter. “That’s irrelevant. He didn’t know that and neither did I. But Jackson knew,” Kimber argued, looking at each of them. “And once his plan was revealed, he took off like a coward, not an alpha. The only man with balls was the vampire who stopped me from being bitten. And from being manipulated by a man who couldn’t stand the fact I didn’t worship him at ‘hello.’ I can’t believe none of you aren’t as revolted as I am.”
Each woman looked away.
Except for Lucinda. “You’re blowing this out of proportion, Kimber. I still don’t think what the vampire said was true. You can’t take the word of one of them over an alpha. Over your own kind. For all we know, you’re trying to manipulate us by claiming Jackson ‘vanished’ when he probably went to get help, or you ran away from him.”
Aghast, Kimber’s eyes widened. “You don’t believe me?”
“I just think you might be twisting the facts.”
“Or exaggerating?” Lia said, her posture and voice shrinking at Kimber’s sharp look. “A little?”
Kimber gaped at them. “No! On either.”
Lucinda didn’t bend. “We believe that you were attacked, but I don’t believe that it was Jackson’s idea. And neither should you, Kimber. It’s part of a vamp’s DNA to lie, and to seduce you to believe their lies.”
“What for?”
“Because they enjoy it.”
“They apparently enjoy killing our kind too, yet that vampire didn’t so much as sneer in my direction.”
“Maybe he’d already filled his shifter quota that night. Who knows?”
Kimber pushed away from the counter. “God, your ignorance stinks.”
Lucinda growled, coming around to face Kimber. “You were more frightened than you admit. We’ve all been in your shoes, and when you’re frightened, your mind is too slow to keep up with what’s really going on. The fact you’re more sympathetic to those soulless creatures than Jackson shows just how warped the entire event made you.”
“They aren’t soulless. Have you ever had a conversation with one? Not all of them are the fiends we insist they are. They—” Her throat closed up as Nya barked at her to stop. What the hell was she doing, defending vampires to her pack? Nya pushed at her to say something, to remove the suspicion in her sister’s eyes.
“I’m not sympathetic toward vamps, I just think it’s pa-thetic an alpha would even talk to shadows, let along make an arrangement with them. You weren’t there. None of you were. Yes, I was scared, but not so traumatized I suddenly became blind. What happened is crystal clear, especially when I turned around to find Jackson gone.” She dumped her coffee in the sink. “He has no honor, and I never want to see him again. If you care for me at all, you’ll tell him to stay away from us.”
It took great willpower not to slam the doors. She paced around the den, deciding she couldn’t stay in the house.
After stuffing her clothes in an oversized bag, she announced she was going out to a laundromat, rather than wait for the washer and dryer to be free.
No one commented or tried to stop her.
The closest one was nearly a mile away, but the walk did little to ease her frustration. At first, they’d seemed to pity her; but no, all six collectively decided not to believe an alpha might contrive such a disgusting plan.
That, if it was true, then he must’ve had a good reason. Seriously?
“Because I must’ve made him feel emasculated somehow, I pushed him into his scheme to ‘win’ me? By the fucking gods,” she cried out loud, using Shain’s favorite exclamation, marching down the sidewalk in the sweltering heat.
They were supposed to be her pack sisters. Show loyalty. Support. Compassion. Not suspicion and skepticism.
She slammed into the laundromat, her hair sticking to her sweaty forehead and neck, and tossed the bag on one washer.
Maybe once she was back in Tavish, she would look into getting her own place, and damn the pack. If they wanted her to remain their bookkeeper, then they would allow her to live independently, without protest. If not, then she’d find a job with a real employer who paid Kimber her worth.
She put in the coins and started the water, then pulled out her clothes, piece by piece, from the bag.
In fact, she could work remotely, right out of her own apartment. She could offer her services like a contractor and be self-employed. It wouldn’t be easy as 1-2-3, but she could make it happen. If she went through with it, she’d surely be even more alienated by the pack.
And she’d be alone.
Alone, but free.
The smile returning, she checked the pockets of her jeans for any forgotten lip balm or money, and felt paper.
To make sure she didn’t need it, she unfolded it, then froze.
I miss you so much it hurts. I can’t bear it, knowing you’re still close, that we’re apart because I drove you away. I will wait for you, in hopes you’ll come back to me. If only for one night. – S
Her legs gave out as her sight blurred. She covered her mouth as her heart flooded with emotion.
He must’ve slipped this in her pocket last night.
On the back was an address. What house was he talking about?
Oh, God, she wanted to run to him right now, forget waiting. Then again, she was a hot mess, literally, and needed to clean up. She’d finish her laundry, go home and shower, and leave at sunset. Screw sneaking out after the shiyas went to bed; she’d just tell them she was going to a LikeMinded event or something.
She was going to spend the night with Shain. It wasn’t as if her sisters cared about her, anyway. She and Shain had a lot of catching up to do.
And a lot of love to make.
Chapter Thirty
Leaving the townhouse hadn’t been a problem.
Everyone had given her a wide berth, including Lucinda, when she said was going out for the night. She didn’t even have to give a detailed lie about with whom or what or where.
They assumed she was upset about Jackson and how they didn’t take her
side. Let them believe what they wanted; she knew what really happened.
She’d rented the car with an app that offered rentals from local residents, and the only car available last minute was the mint green Fiat owned by a perky grad student. It wasn’t the most ideal vehicle she could’ve gotten for country roads, but she went slowly, and turned onto the unmarked driveway the map directed.
When she passed the sign for the diner, she pressed the gas on the Fiat, realizing which house Shain meant.
It was the abandoned one he’d taken her to weeks ago, after she’d shifted at the café.
Her heart raced as she pulled up next to his Range Rover.
Tentatively, she walked to the front steps, finding the door ajar. She pushed it open, eyes widening.
Gone was the filth, the cobwebs, the bricks of dust.
It’d been cleaned, smelling fresh and polished. To her right, the living room had a sectional with throw blankets, a coffee table, and a pile of firewood next to the fireplace. To her left, the kitchen gleamed with bottles of wine, though barren of a refrigerator.
“Shain?” she called in disbelief.
No response.
That was when she noticed the lit candles along the steps to the second floor and followed them. All the doors were closed except for the one at the end, more candlelight flickering from inside. She went in.
The main bedroom had a platform bed, blackout curtains opened wide, and big, roman candles arranged on the floor.
“What do you think?”
Kimber gasped and whirled around, seeing Shain push the door away from behind it.
A rush of pure, agonized longing swept through her, the air electrifying around her.
The second she moved, he raised a hand. “Stay over there. I need to say a few things first.”
Didn’t the house and his note speak plenty for now? Her wolf urged her to take control. Kimber’s ache for him grew but, at his request, she remained still.
He took his time, carefully choosing his words. “That night, you have to know, I’ve never been any woman’s first. Ever. I was once again finding myself in a never-before experience with you. After living over two centuries, I thought I couldn’t be taken by surprise anymore. And then I met you, and it’s been one after another after another. You…” He shook his head. “You saved yourself for your mate. A commitment I would never conceive of attempting. I can’t imagine saving any part of myself for one person for that long.”
A corner of his mouth moved before he gave a single shake of his head. “You have to understand, losing your virginity is meaningful to about every other being except vampires. To us, it’s more like…advancing our palate. Virginity is just innocence, which has no place in our world. It’s not special, it’s not reserved.” Shain flinched, adjusting his stance, elegant and surreal in the muted light around him. “It’s not about waiting for the right emotions or bonding or making love with someone you care about. Sex with anyone other than our mates is pleasure and fuel. Nothing more. You and I were going to have our beautiful weekend together. After that, it was supposed to be goodbye. But then you looked into my eyes and told me it was your first time. That you wanted it to be me, disregarding your true mate. And I froze. I didn’t want to have that kind of distinction.”
Kimber was starting to understand. Of course he resisted, because doing so would’ve meant what was between them was more than either of them had acknowledged out loud. She’d been aware their connection was unique, beyond attraction, but could only think of the sexual aspect at the time. He might’ve been aware too, and didn’t want to believe it, until now.
“More than anything,” Shain went on, “I didn’t want you to resent me. For a reason unknown to me, even at this moment, I believed your resentment would haunt me forever. I don’t know how to explain it better than that. I wanted you to take the money that night, and you took a part of me with you instead. Because you were right. I regret—wholeheartedly—hurting you. Ending us. I gave away time we could’ve had together.”
Being told she’d been right only saddened her. “What changed your mind?”
“I’ve realized, it’s not about you giving me anything. It’s about you taking from me what you want, what you desire. I relent from trying to control the uncontrollable. You’re in charge now. Whatever you want from me, you can have. I won’t deny you anything.”
Damn him for saying all the right, heartrending words. Still, she had to know if this was only coming from his ego. “What…what about the alpha?”
His countenance darkened. “What about him? Has he not left you alone?” The concern was obvious in his tone.
“He hasn’t contacted me. But the fact I was with him doesn’t bother you? Be honest with me, Shain. Are you doing this out of jealousy?”
Please, don’t let it just be that. That’s not good enough, despite how I feel.
His shoulders went back as he tucked his hands in his pockets. “I was jealous before I even saw you with him. Jealous of everyone near you. It drove me crazy, I won’t deny that, but that isn’t why I gave you the note. Why I carried it with me, wanting to make sure you still felt the same as I did before I gave it to you. Jealousy is nothing, you see, when it’s overpowered by something stronger. It doesn’t matter you were with him. You’re here now. As far as I’m concerned, he doesn’t exist.”
“It wouldn’t matter if—he and I were intimate?”
The tension in the room buzzed in her ears for a few seconds. Though his jaw clenched, he displayed no emotion, and shook his head once with sharpness. “It’s none of my business. To be blunt, I don’t want to know anything about the time you were together.” Shain drew in a long, resigned breath. “I wish I could go back and change things, but I can’t. That’s on me. You and the alpha…? It changes nothing about how I feel. It should’ve been me, but I rejected you because I was a coward—”
She wouldn’t stand listening to him tear himself apart anymore. “Jackson is the coward, not you. I thought you’d lose interest in me if I told you. Then I waited too long because I was in denial. I thought there was no way I could allow a vampire to seduce me, despite wanting you to since the first night we met. Then we got closer and closer until I couldn’t imagine it being anyone else but you. And yes, for the final time, that includes my true mate. As far as I’m concerned, he doesn’t exist.”
The emotion in his eyes melted her. “No one else matters, Kimber. Only you and me.”
When was the last time elation was among the cache of emotions she’d felt? Since she couldn’t recall a time that didn’t include Shain, it’d been too long. If ever. “I’m coming to you now.”
His mouth half-lifted. “Why are you walking so slowly?”
The same words she’d said to him that night in the villa, before the fight.
“Because I’m afraid if I run, I might wake up.” A few feet from him, she looked into his stormy eyes. “About Jackson—”
“No.” His fingers brushed her chin, guiding it up, and she whimpered. “I mean it. Please don’t say his name again. A man can only take so much.”
If Shain had asked for their reunion out of strict pride or jealousy, he would’ve expressed it. Anger. Resentment. Disappointment. But there was none reflecting in his gaze, only the desire and emotion she’d missed so much.
“How long do we have?” he asked.
She beamed up at him. “All night.”
A sexy smile moved his lips. “Unless you’re tired, I don’t plan to sleep.”
“I’ve hardly slept the past three weeks. Nothing new.”
He skimmed fingertips down the side of her face. “We suffered long enough. So it’s up to you. We can talk.” One brow raised. “We can play.” He sighed long. “We can drink wine and look at the stars. We can do anything except sleep.”
Caressing the back of his neck, she shook her head. “Why haven’t you kissed—?”
He swept on her lips, hungry, stealing, and passionate. And enough. If all they d
id was kiss and hold each other, she’d be satisfied. It was enough they were together.
The kiss went on until he slid off to her cheek and sighed, “Your mouth is magic itself. I could just do this…all night long.”
“You know?” she said breathlessly. “I was just thinking the same thing.”
“Hmm. Tell me what you want to do. I’m yours to command.”
Was there anything she wanted more than to give herself to him? No. And he knew it, yet he still made it clear she was the one who’d decide. It amazed her how much this man, this vampire, meant to her. “Make love to me.”
With a slightly wicked smile, he stepped back and undressed before her eyes. Once his shirt was on the floor, her desire welled, and she realized it was the first time she’d ever laid eyes on his chest. He’d seen and touched—tasted—every intimate part of her, but she’d yet to have him skin-to-skin.
A wide chest, defined shoulders, veins corded in his forearms, a hard, rippled stomach. His legs looked strong and thick. And his cock. A rapid blush climbed up her cheeks. Well. Not that she expected anything less than perfection from a pürblood.
The one she loved.
“The alpha never touched me,” she confessed in a hush, careful not to utter Jackson’s name again. “You didn’t want to know, but you must.”
Her vampire froze, searching her face.
“Oh, Shain. Did you honestly think I could let anyone inside me but you?”
His eyes briefly closed. “Yes. I did.”
She slipped the straps of her dress down and pushed the garment to the floor, letting him look at her. Watching the desire in him catch flame before her eyes. “You may be over two hundred years old, but obviously you’re just now learning that…” She swallowed. “Love…just doesn’t work that way.”
There. She said it. Had to. There was no holding anything back now.
He came toward her, sliding a hand to the back of her head. “In a not-so-insignificant way, this will be my first time, too. The first time with a woman who looks at me the way you do. The first time with a woman who loves me. The first time with a woman who…I love.” He swallowed audibly.
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