Of course, she’d assume that was the reason. Not her. Not their lack of a connection. “Don’t belittle yourself like that. You know that has nothing to do with it. We’ve been doing this for years. We’re on, we’re off. You push, I pull. It’s time we move on from that dance.”
She crossed her arms. “What are you talking about? We’ve never been ‘off.’”
News to him. “Every ‘break’ we took from each other was your idea, and I had to accept it. Without argument. Now that I want to end the cycle, you’re claiming we never stopped? We both know that’s not true.”
“A break is not a break-up. No matter what, we always came back to each other. There’s a reason for that.”
Her hands went to his chest, but he moved again, out of her reach.
“Keeping me on the hook is not the same as keeping me hooked,” he countered. “I may have been fine with that before, but I’m not now.”
Her eyes flared with anger. “Because of Tanaka.”
She wasn’t listening. “No.”
“Because you think you’re too good for me now.”
“If anything, becoming Tanaka’s ally would’ve made me finally feel I was good enough.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
A headache pierced behind his ears. “You enjoyed being in my bed, but you never wanted to be in my life, Amara. Not until now.”
She flinched. “What’s wrong with you? You’ve been acting weird since Avery’s party.”
“How could anything be wrong? I have everything I want.”
“You don’t have me.”
“I never did.”
Her mouth dropped. She scoured wild eyes over him like he’d grown two heads. “Shain, you know how I feel about you. How you feel about me. We’re pürs. We don’t have to abide by the same rules as the fatebloods and be strapped to one lover. We’re free until we avow. I’d think you’d appreciate that I never made you lock me down.”
“Except for the fact I asked you to be mine, and you said no. After that, all we could be were lovers of convenience. I wanted you so badly I took that arrangement.”
“I said no because I…I wasn’t ready to avow. I needed more time. I told you that.”
“That was years ago.” And he’d believed her about that, but now he knew if one felt something for another, if they loved someone, time mattered not. In fact, it was a waste of time not to be with them as soon as possible.
Amara marched to him, setting her hands on his shoulders, then his face. “No, no. Look at me. You’re just trying to hurt me because I hurt you and didn’t know it. Ana asif, habibi. I know you still feel—”
Gently, he pried her hands from his face. “What I felt and what I feel are not the same. I care about you. You’ll always be a part of my life. But things must return to the way they were when we weren’t lovers. And that’s the way it’s going to remain.”
A frigid sensa poured from her. She stepped back, sucking in her cheeks, staring at him with dead eyes. “There’s someone else.”
He knew she would eventually guess. One second of hesitation, a hard denial, or avoiding her eyes would only answer for him. There was someone else, but even with Kimber out of the picture, the attraction to Amara was gone, and had been for a long time. “Whether there is or isn’t has nothing to do with you and me.”
Her eyes narrowed. “There is. There’s no other explanation.”
“There have been multiple lovers for you when we weren’t ‘exclusive.’ If I recall correctly, there was a Lee, a Justin, a Steve…”
“By the gods, you sound like a jealous little boy. Like you were so faithful when we weren’t together?”
“Our affairs were never founded on fidelity from the beginning. You made that clear.”
“Beside the point! I want to be faithful to you and only you now, Shain.”
“It’s too late. I’m sorry, Amara.”
“You rejecting me like this means someone else has gotten her claws into you. I can see it in your eyes. Tell me who this woman is.”
Shain said nothing; he didn’t owe her a name.
“Who is she?” she insisted.
“It doesn’t matter. You’ve never been acquainted.”
“You’re just saying that to delay me finding out. I will find out, Shain.”
Was that a threat, or was she just trying to make him squirm?
Knowing her? Both.
Honestly, he had so many other things that actually affected his life, it didn’t bother him a bit. “If that’s a warning, it’s been noted.” He picked up his plate, strolled past her, and went to the door, looking forward to his early evening snack. “Goodbye, Amara.”
“Who is she, Trevyn?”
He closed the door, walking away when he heard her cry out again.
“WHO. IS. SHE?”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Damned if she did and deathly damned if she didn’t.
Forty-eight hours were left of Jackson’s deadline. He hadn’t come around since, nor had he messaged or called.
Every time Kimber left the townhouse, she expected Jackson or one of his pack to intercept. To remind her. Bully. Intimidate. But she was left alone. Either he didn’t think he needed to—and he really didn’t—or he was keeping the blackmail to himself.
Or maybe, if her God and Shain’s gods were kind, he’d gotten caught up in something else, or thought better of it. After all, threatening a shiya to transfer him pack money carried a risk itself. He had to know that, even if he got the money, Amos would be down there in a shot for an explanation.
All Jackson had to do was play innocent, claim that Kimber was in love with him or some bullshit, but her alpha would still want their money. It could start a pack war.
Not that she had any intention of giving him one cent, let alone one hundred thousand dollars.
What proof could he have? Him telling Lucinda or Amos that she snuck out of the house to meet a vampire? She’d tell them it was to meet with Stefan. She’d meet him for lunch or goat yoga or that Boba tea he liked and go to Shain after, in case she was followed.
If she had been trailed today, the follower would be bored by now, as she’d been in a bridal store for the past hour with Stefan and his sister, Danielle, sitting in chairs watching her try on dresses.
Stefan bumped her with his elbow. “Houston to Kimber, come in, please.”
She snapped out of it and forced a smile at Stefan’s sister, who waited for her opinion on the wedding dress she had on. Her seventh. “It’s very pretty.”
Dani swept her hands down. “But is it pretty on me?”
A pause from her brother. “I think it’s too basic,” Stefan concluded.
“You would!” His sister gathered the hem and marched off the platform. “But you’re right. Ugh. Hate when you’re right, bro.”
Stefan laughed and turned to Kimber, taking her mimosa from her hand. “What’s the matter? You’re so checked out today. Is it Mr. Eleven?”
She blinked. “No, actually. We’re good.” So good. So good together she wanted to weep because the end was near. They hadn’t discussed her departure at all. Purposely, they’d created their own little bubble, talks of books they read, stories of things he’d seen and done, her way of life in the pack, films, underworld mysteries, and a lot of sex. It was as forbidden to speak of as their feelings for one another. Not since the first night at the house. She’d longed for him to say he loved her again. He hadn’t, so she hadn’t. Maybe words were hollow at that point.
Stefan sipped the mimosa she hadn’t tasted. “What’s the drama? There’s a solution to everything. Spill.”
It was possible he could offer advice. She was desperate for it. “If someone was blackmailing you, threatening to reveal your deepest secret, would what you do?”
“Whoa. I didn’t expect you’d go straight to dark like that. Seriously? Blackmail?”
She sighed. “Seriously.”
“Color me curious. What do they h
ave on you?”
“Something no one can know. Even you.”
His eyes went round. “Okay. Well, once a blackmailer gets what they want, that’s only the beginning. They always come back for more.”
She stared off at the gallery of beautiful white dresses. “I know.”
Stefan crossed his legs and swung his foot back and forth while he contemplated her dilemma. “Talk to the cops?”
“Pointless.”
“What about asking your stud for help?”
“That would make it worse.”
Her friend frowned. “Hmm. Well, like my grandma would tell me, fight fire with fire.”
She turned in her seat to face him. “How so?”
“Turn the tables on your blackmailer. Find something on him. Fast.”
She had less than two days. There wasn’t enough time. “And if I can’t?”
“Well, there’s only one thing left to do.”
Kimber’s mind raced to fill in the blank herself but came up with nothing. “What?”
He shrugged. “Kill the secret. Get ahead of it. Out in the open. If the consequences are worse if your scumbag blackmailer tells it, then do it yourself. Take the proverbial bullet out of the proverbial gun.” He raised the champagne glass.
Kimber opened her mouth to argue, but couldn’t. He had a point. Better to throw herself on the sword than let it be yielded against her. Yet, she couldn’t tell her pack she was in love with a vampire. But if Jackson told them? Much, much worse. He’d have to prove it. There was a chance they wouldn’t believe him, but she couldn’t take that chance.
An idea formed.
What she needed was a story of her own.
One her alpha and her pack would not only believe…but be proud of.
“You’ve been quiet since we left the theater,” Shain observed softly, sitting across from her on his private jet. “Penny for your thoughts?”
A penny? How about a truckload of them?
They were returning from an amazing night in Charlotte, and Kimber had forgotten her worries for most of the evening, but the brief escape only compounded the problems beckoning from afar.
During the show, Jackson had sent her a text telling her to be at the townhouse the day after tomorrow, or else, sending her mood and her night crashing to the ground in flames. She longed to share her dilemma with Shain, but she just couldn’t.
They were living a lie wrapped in a beautiful fantasy.
It was time to wake up.
“I was wondering…” No. She couldn’t bring it up right off the bat. She had to lead with something else, something they’d both been successfully avoiding. “Lucinda called to have the utilities disconnected after we leave. We’re gone Saturday morning, Shain.”
His expression fell. “I know.”
“Next Friday will have to be our last night together.”
He cast his gaze to his lap.
“Unless,” she blurted, “you think there’s a way we can be together…?”
Slowly, he raised his gaze and sighed. “You know there isn’t.”
Thank you for reminding me there’s no hope.
She just had to grasp for that illusion one more time. Her voice didn’t even sound like hers as she plowed through the pain. “Then I was wondering if you’d consider giving me the money you’d offered before.”
His lips parted. “Money? You still want it?”
“You still have it, don’t you?” she pathetically joked.
He stared at her, opened his mouth to respond, then closed it.
She withdrew all emotion from her voice as Nya whined at the turmoil rioting within, but she wasn’t able to hold his gaze while she did it. We have to, Nya. We have to.
“I need it.” A sickness waved through her stomach. She pressed her lips together to stifle the scream insisting to come out. “Just a fraction of the original amount is more than fine. It can be a loan if you prefer. I can’t pay you back in large sums, but—”
“Consider it done,” he said, sharply looking out his own window, his fingers clenching and unclenching on the arms of the seat.
Nya barked at the pain emanating from him. It was as palpable as her own.
Unable to keep sitting, Kimber swept up and went to the bedroom cabin, stumbling a little with a bump of turbulence, before she closed the door to escape the tense energy she’d created. She wanted to collapse on the bed and cry her eyes out, but that would lead to more strife and questions from Shain.
The door unclicked behind her.
She remained still, her back to him as he entered.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
Why was he apologizing? He’d done nothing wrong. The guilt tightened her throat even more.
“I don’t know why I was abrupt. Of course you can have whatever you want, Kimber. I’d deny you nothing. Nothing that’s within my power to give you.”
Nothing except being together. But she couldn’t blame him for denying her that. She didn’t see a way, either.
A shaky exhale escaped.
Shain brushed her hair off her shoulder. Her eyes closed while he traced his lips along her shoulder, her neck. She leaned into him, reaching back to hold his neck, turning her head to bury her nose in the side of his face.
Mm. That smell. His smell. She’d miss it. She’d miss everything about him.
Her dress was unzipped, and it shimmied off her body.
The craving to get lost in her lover hit her hard. Shain wanted to make love to apologize, but she didn’t need an apology, she needed to feel good, feel loved.
She turned around, plucking his bowtie and whipping it off, forcing his tux jacket off, unbuttoning his jacket. He was her mate, but she couldn’t tell him, and she couldn’t be with him. How fucked up was that?
Once he was naked, she pushed him on the bed.
Concern flashed in his eyes. “Kimber, are you—?”
She stopped his question with her lips on his, drawing out his tongue, raking her hands in his perfectly groomed hair. Carnal possession warred with despair, along with the desperation to be one with her mate before she lost him.
Did he know there’d be no one else for her? Did he? No, because that was yet another thing she kept from him.
Scoring her nails down his chest, his hard, muscled stomach, she made her way down to his cock, taking the hard girth into her mouth.
Shain muttered low and went lax. “Gods…I…”
Damn his gods. Damn them and bless them for bringing them together.
She licked and sucked him, stroking the shaft, her ass in the air. He ran a hand up her thigh and feathered his feathers over her wet sex. A violent current coursed through her body at the barest touch and she moaned, arching her back, groaning. Unable to wait, she straddled him, squeezing his hips with her thighs.
Shain looked up at her and grasped her waist. There were questions in his incandescent blues, but he asked nothing, and moaned with clenched teeth as she slid down his iron length.
Her eyes closed at having her mate fill her. She whimpered with relief, moving her hips back and forth, riding him.
He looked where their bodies were joined and watched her buck her hips, his head falling back while he closed his eyes, whispering words she couldn’t make out. Faster she rode him, chasing her orgasm, running from her misery.
“Kimber—wait, slow down,” he choked out.
She couldn’t. And wouldn’t. Setting her hands on his chest, she leaned over and rocked her hips up and down, her slick pussy stroking his cock with fervor.
Shain swore, could do nothing but hang on to her ass, spreading her cheeks, driving his hips up with sweet, deep pumps inside her.
“Yes. Yes!” A bolt of desire stole her breath. Kimber threw her hair back with a cry as Shain took command.
His rapid thrusts into her tight, clutching sex stretched her over and over.
Her orgasm came like a glorious blaze of bliss and perfection. She rode with it as long as she could, moaning
, her muscles giving out.
Shain sat up and wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her neck, coming inside her with a guttural groan.
They held each other until the captain made an announcement they were about to descend.
Shain said nothing and dressed. She avoided his gaze and dressed.
They returned to their seats and buckled in, each disheveled, caught between the sweet aftermath of furious lovemaking and the gloom of what was to come.
Fifteen minutes later, the captain said, “Welcome home, Mr. Trevyn.”
The lights of Atlanta came into view while the plane made a slow left turn.
Home. Something she’d never be able to make with her own mate…
“Kimber.”
She met Shain’s wretched gaze, desperate to hear him tell her what was going through his mind. For him to beg her to stay. Or that he loved her. Anything but what he said instead.
“I’ll bring the money tomorrow.” He looked away.
Her voice was small, she felt small, as she hollowly replied, “Thank you.”
Would her plan work?
Had she just denigrated one of the most amazing, final nights with Shain for nothing?
Chapter Thirty-Five
Giving her the money wasn’t a problem. He was happy to.
It was how she’d asked for it.
With extreme discomfort. With veiled resentment, in a way. She hadn’t wanted to. There was a reason, but Shain couldn’t ask what she wanted it for. Why did anyone want money? To buy things. After all, he told her the first time he tried to give it to her that he didn’t care what she used it for. Why inquire now? In a matter of days, they’d be going their separate paths, never to cross them again.
Why did that make him want to cut out his heart with a dull knife rather than endure losing her?
I can’t let her go.
I have to.
There was no way they could keep this forbidden affair going. Not without paying the ultimate price in the end.
You’ll get over her.
Be thankful for the time you had, and walk away, your life and hers still intact.
These were little mantras he kept repeating in his head to keep himself sane.
His Dark Embrace Page 39