I shut the window and was back on my bed before Dante poked his head out again. Elise wouldn’t know I’d done it for her so it didn’t matter, but I was quietly pissed at myself for giving in to the urge.
“Gabriel!” he barked at me. “You do it on purpose. Admit it. Just fucking admit it.”
“Define admit,” I said, mocking him. Not rising to meet his arguments was the best tactic to piss him off. It was hilarious.
“By the stars, I hate you,” Dante growled, then yanked the sheet back across his bunk so furiously that he ripped the whole thing down. “Argh!”
I lay down on my bed, sliding one hand under the pillow and my fingers met paper. I tugged it out with a frown, finding the note Elise had written me.
Define yours.
I still wasn’t sure why I’d kept it.
Define mine? Everything and everyone in this school, Elise. So long as I want it. But I don’t want you. Not now. Not ever.
The next evening, I finished my dinner in the cafaeteria quickly and headed to my counselling session with Miss Nightshade. It was damn tempting not to go at all. I didn’t need counselling. It wasn’t like I’d had a traumatic loss and ended up beating the shit out of a guy before watching him kill himself and then embarked on a vendetta of revenge while disguising my identity or anything crazy like that.
Okay so maybe the more accurate assessment was that I didn’t want counselling. I didn’t want anyone poking about in my head, wondering at all the fucked up things they found there which had been caused by my grief. Because, yeah, maybe I was unhinged, unstable, unbalanced… psychotic. But I was okay with that.
It was the way I’d found to cope with losing my brother. The only way that I could make myself get out of bed in the mornings. The only way that I could see to keep on doing anything at all. Nothing really mattered to me since he’d died apart from exacting revenge on the person responsible. And my mission in coming here was all I cared about now.
I’d worry about scraping together some form of a real life after I’d finished this. If I survived it. I wasn’t even sure if I cared whether I did some days.
It was raining so I shot away from the cafaeteria and back to Altair Halls with my Vampire speed. The counsellor’s office was down a short corridor decorated in neutral tones and I dropped onto a comfy leather couch outside her door to wait.
I was a few minutes early and as I strained my ears, I realised I could hear the counsellor talking to another student as they finished up their session.
“-working on exploring more emotions before next week,” a soft feminine voice said which I presumed was Miss Nightshade. “I know you like to believe that you only feel lust and pain, but I can promise I’ve sensed more complexity to you than that.”
“Whatever you say,” Ryder Draconis’s voice came disinterestedly in response and I straightened in my chair, wondering if I might hear anything interesting by snooping on them. Maybe I’d turn up even earlier next week.
The counsellor sighed and footsteps sounded across carpet before the door was pulled open.
Ryder looked at me as he stepped out, surprise registering in his gaze for a moment.
“Come in, Miss Callisto,” Miss Nightshade called and I got to my feet.
Ryder stayed planted in my way as I approached him, but I refused to show any fear of him. I walked straight up to him, smiling sweetly as I slid into the small space between his body and the doorframe. His eyes lit with what I could have sworn was amusement as the length of my body pressed against his for a moment and I slipped through the doorway.
I headed straight for the cream couch opposite the counsellor and dropped onto it.
“Close the door Mr Draconis,” Miss Nightshade commanded as he continued to linger there and I looked back at him as his hand curled around the door.
“See you in Astrology, Elise,” he said, making my name sound like something dirty. Which I didn’t totally hate.
I shrugged in response, looking away from him like he was the least interesting person I’d ever met. “Maybe.”
There was a beat of silence before the door clicked shut and I looked at Miss Nightshade as she tittered a laugh.
“I wasn’t sure what I’d make of you, Miss Callisto, but you just managed to draw surprise, amusement and intrigue from Ryder Draconis with a shrug and one word, so I’m already thrilled to have met you.” She was pretty, middle aged with short brown hair and warm eyes, something about her was very inviting. She made me feel calm, trusting, ready to open up and my lips parted as I prepared to do just that.
Tell her about Gareth. She can help with this pain.
Before a word could escape my lips, I frowned. Why the hell would I consider telling someone I’d just met about the secret I’d sworn to keep since coming here?
“You’re a Siren,” I blurted, more than a little rudely.
I gritted my teeth as I worked on shoving her influence back out of my head. Sirens were tricky fuckers, they could sense your emotions and make you feel anything they wanted. But I’d grown up around Old Sal and I was more than used to fighting off Siren powers. I wouldn’t be letting this one get under my skin, though I had to admit she was more powerful than Old Sal and fighting her off was harder.
“I am,” she admitted. “It makes my job easier because I can sense exactly what my patients are feeling.”
“Right.” I folded my arms. “I’m not obliged to tell you shit about myself though, am I?”
“Do you want to hide yourself from me? Is that something you often feel with strangers or is it everyone?”
I raised an eyebrow at her. Nosey bitch.
“Why do I have to have these sessions? I don’t see what it has to do with my education.”
“Well as you may have noticed, this school is subject to a lot of social pressures with the gangs and such. We find it beneficial for all students to attend these sessions. They aren’t optional.” Face impassive, giving nothing away.
I sighed dramatically, giving her a dose of stroppy teenager and not bothering to add anything else.
Miss Nightshade smiled like this wasn’t her first rodeo and I was struck with the urge to tell her to back the fuck off.
“Okay, we can do this my way,” she said with a shrug. “I’m picking up a lot of anger from you. More than just regular teenage angst. How’s your home life?”
My scowl went from resting bitch face to ice queen but she didn’t even blink.
“Grief?” she asked with surprise.
“Stay out of my head,” I snarled. “That’s not your business.”
“Well, it is, actually. You might find it helpful to try and work through your pain with me.”
“I’m working through it on my own, thanks,” I snapped. I’d be taking revenge for a starter, going light on the mercy as a main course and if I was still around for dessert I’d figure that out then.
“Anger is a perfectly normal symptom of grief. Why don’t you tell me about the person you lost? I’m sure they wouldn’t want you to suffer like this for-”
I leapt to my feet, snatching my bag and pointing one finger at her in warning. “I might have to attend these sessions, but I don’t have to give you details about my private life. So I suggest you back the fuck off next time and stay out of my goddamn head or I’ll give you a demonstration of my Order gifts.” I snapped my fangs out and bared my teeth at her before speeding from the room without waiting for a reply.
I didn’t care if I’d only stayed for five minutes. I wasn’t hanging around a second longer while she dug into my brain.
If she didn’t get the message before the next time I was forced to endure her company, then I’d happily drive the point home with my fangs. It wouldn’t be the first time I’d bitten a teacher.
***
I headed to Astrology class after spending the evening stewing over Miss Nightshade. The idea of someone getting suspicious of me had me pacing up and down the Vega Dorms’ stairs thirty times before I came up w
ith a plan to manage her. I’d tell her my dad had died. Give her some bullshit daddy issues to contend with while I thought about my brother just enough to give her some real grief to feed on with her Siren gifts. It wasn’t a foolproof plan, but it would probably work. She might catch on to some deceit, but I was a damn good liar and I’d been practicing more than ever recently. It was the best plan I had so I’d just have to try it and see what happened. I had two weeks until my next session anyway so I had time to plan my strategy before then.
I made it to the observatory at five to ten in the evening so that I could wait for Leon Night to arrive and corner him for a few questions. He was always extra sleepy during the late night lessons at The Capella Observatory and I was hoping that might mean he wouldn’t catch on to me questioning him about his old roommate and think it was suspicious.
I headed inside amongst the first students to arrive and picked a seat at the back of the auditorium while I waited for Leon to appear.
Instead of the Lion Shifter I was looking for though, the next guy to walk through the doors was none other than my least favourite Dragon in Solaria, Dante.
I pursed my lips, dropping my gaze so that I didn’t have to look at him as he stalked into the room like he owned the damn place.
I waited for him to pass me by but unfortunately I was in for no such luck and he dropped into the seat beside me instead, clearly done with letting me ignore him like I had been since he’d thrown me out of a fucking window.
I stiffened, wondering whether Gabriel had been right about his temper blowing itself out or not and guessing I was about to find out.
“I haven’t seen much of you today, carina,” he said casually, flipping his textbook open as he leaned back in his chair, his knee brushing against mine as he felt the need to spread his legs as wide as humanly possible. “And you didn’t sleep on top of me last night either. Where did you run off to?”
“What difference does it make to you?” I asked dismissively, “So long as you didn’t have to hear me laughing, I thought you’d be satisfied.”
“You can laugh as much as you like,” he said, waving a hand like it was no big deal even though he’d tossed me out of a window for it. Fucking psycho. “Just don’t make the mistake of doing it at me again.”
I bit my tongue on a response just as the chair on my right juddered as someone else dropped into it.
“Why was she laughing at you?” Ryder asked, slinging an arm around the back of my seat which felt a hell of a lot like being pissed on. “Did you show her your tiny cock?”
“I’m actually waiting for someone else-” I began but Dante cut me off like I wasn’t even there.
“She was begging for me to show her my massive cock after you kept sending her your little mind pornos like a pervertito even though it makes her sick. She wanted to see what a real man looks like instead of gagging over images of you.”
“The only thing she’ll be gagging on is my-”
And I’m out.
I shot out of my seat with my Vampire speed before either of them could continue to score points against each other at my expense.
By the time they even noticed I’d gone, I was leaning back in a chair on the opposite side of the auditorium with my feet kicked up on the one in front of me like I’d been there the whole time.
Dante scowled at me across the space but I pretended not to notice. Neither of them seemed willing to be the first to vacate the seats they’d chosen and I almost laughed at the ridiculous power play they found themselves in now. It looked like they were going to be stuck a seat apart for the whole lesson out of pig headed stubbornness alone. I just hoped they didn’t end up blaming me for it afterwards. It wasn’t like I’d asked either of them to sit with me anyway. That was on them.
Just as I thought I’d escaped the most mortifying part of the lesson, Gabriel wandered into the room. He cast his eyes across the space and I instantly hardened my gaze, refusing to look down while not actually looking at him at all. I was so fucking mad at him. Who the hell did he think he was using his magic on me and knocking me over like that? It was a one night stand! He was the one talking like a fucking stalker and making out that we were Elysian Mates. As if I’d want to be bonded to an asswipe like him for life anyway. He was good in bed, but his personality was severely lacking and I couldn’t think of many people I’d less want to be bound to than a jumped up asshole like him.
Heat clawed along my spine and I wondered what the hell had possessed me to sleep with him in the first place. Aside from his devastating godly looks of course. But then he’d dropped that Elysian Mate shit on me. What the hell did he want me to say to that? Had I felt that connection with him last night? Hell yeah I had, my body still ached in the most delicious way because of it. Did that mean I was ready to settle down for good, say bye bye to every other guy I might ever meet just like that because I had one night - albeit a fucking mind blowing night - with a guy I barely knew? No. Like seriously. What was his favourite colour? Or food? Did he have a middle name? Or any weird habits? Or parents? The guy was a stranger to me, not my soul mate. Hell, he was still a murder suspect as far as I was concerned, though I really, really hoped I was wrong about that now that I’d slept with him. Maybe the whole mates nonsense was just to scare me off. Make sure I didn’t get any ideas about being his girlfriend or something. Whatever it was, I had no issue with staying away from him anyway. He clearly thought last night was a mistake, so I’d just put it down to that too and move on with my life.
I felt Gabriel’s eyes on me but maybe he read the general aura of keep the fuck away hanging around me and it satisfied him because he moved to sit on the far side of the circular room and left me alone.
At least I didn’t have to worry about any repercussions from our night together aside from awkwardness in our dorm and avoiding contact with him as much as humanly possible. When you had a mom who did the kind of work that mine did, you learned to cast a monthly contraception spell before you even had your magic Awakened.
I started twirling a pencil between my fingers to use up some of the nervous energy in my limbs. Cindy Lou strutted into the room and headed straight for the chair beside Dante but he didn’t seem to notice her arrival at all.
A deep laugh drew my attention to the door again and I sagged in relief as I spotted Leon walking in surrounded by a group of girls who were all in the process of doing various things for him.
“Leo!” I called, catching his eye as he looked up with a scowl. “I need to pick your brain about Pitball,” I said, pointing at the empty chair beside me in offering.
“That’s not my name,” he replied, hesitating as his pride lurked around him.
“I’ve got snacks,” I added as a sweetener.
Leon’s face broke into a roguish smile and he shrugged as he prowled towards me. “Looks like you’ve won me over then, little monster.”
He fell into the seat beside mine and one of his Lionesses passed him his Atlas while another placed his books down beside him. A third unscrewed a bottle of water and actually lifted the damn thing to his lips so that he could take a swig.
“Shit Leo, you’re gonna be one fat old man,” I commented as I watched the weird display unfolding.
“It’s my Lion charisma,” he complained half-heartedly. “It makes women crazy for me, I can’t help it. Call it animal magnetism. I can’t switch it off, it just works.”
“Not on me,” I disagreed, though I had to admit that I was drawn to him. That came with zero desire to start folding his undies into neat stacks or feeding him by hand though. Maybe weaker willed women were cursed with those desires around him but not me.
“I know. I’m quite enjoying having to chase you though - it makes a change. So I’ll let you off,” he said with a wink.
“Good to know. You wanna talk me through the training schedule for the team then?” I prompted as I pulled a candy bar from my bag.
“Sure. Mindy, can you email Elise a copy of the training schedul
e?” Leon asked and the three girls all said yes, making me frown. “Good. Now piss off, you’re making little monster uncomfortable.”
They all hurried to do as he said and I raised an eyebrow in surprise before deciding to let it drop. They seemed perfectly happy with pride life and who was I to judge other Orders for the way they handled their shit?
I looked up and fought the urge to flinch as I found both Ryder and Dante glaring at us. If looks could kill I was pretty sure I’d be mid crucifixion by now. Or maybe Leon would. Or both of us. Like a weird, double hanging from the cross situation...
Professor Rayburn swept into the class, her grey hair twisted into a braid which ran along the back of her head. She waved her hands into the air and the lights around us extinguished. We all dropped down into our seats so that we could look up at the night sky as the lesson began and I was saved from the torture of gang leader glares.
“Today, we are going to be looking at fate. More specifically, asking the question of can we avoid it? Are certain moments of our lives pre-planned by the stars or do you perhaps think that every single second of your existence is already mapped out?”
I pursed my lips as I broke off a block of chocolate and pushed it into my mouth. The idea of fate had pissed me off rather a lot since Gareth’s death. In some ways it was tempting to cling to the idea that his time had just come. He had only ever been allocated so many years to live and they were up. But then that would suggest that the monster responsible for killing him hadn’t done anything wrong. It was fate. He’d always been doomed to die. And what kind of cruel fate would dictate that someone good and kind and full of life never stood a chance? All their dreams and plans had always been pointless no matter what they did...
No. The idea of fate didn’t sit well with me. At least not the idea that it was all pointless and nothing we chose for ourselves even mattered or changed anything.
“Can anyone give me an example of a fated moment?” Profession Rayburn called.
Dark Fae (Ruthless Boys of the Zodiac Book 1) Page 14