by Jenika Snow
I could see how proud of me they both were. Hell, I was proud of myself. As much as I wanted to cancel tonight and be with my family, most of all I wanted to be with Kace.
I wanted to go to him right now and tell him the good news. I wanted to go to him and tell him that I loved him, that as much as I wanted to go to NYU, leaving him behind broke my heart.
My chest ached at those thoughts.
I told myself that after dinner I was heading straight to his house. I was going to be honest with him. I was going to tell him that I got accepted, but also admit my feelings for him.
I loved him.
I’d waited long enough. Time wasn’t on my side, not when I’d already wasted so much of it.
Chapter Three
Kace
I was a fucking stalker, staring at the café, waiting for Shiloh and that douchebag to show up. Maybe I was being harsh on him. I didn’t even know him, but the fact that he was taking my girl out made me bitter.
I’d been sitting here in the parking lot for the last twenty minutes, and with each minute that passed, I grew even more jealous. But I wasn’t going to leave. Because I needed to see with my own eyes if she was happy.
Fuck, I didn’t want to see her happy with anyone but me.
I sure as hell didn’t want her to be with another guy, and I felt like an asshole because of that.
I rested my head back on the seat and stared at the roof of the truck, feeling antsy, agitated. I had my hands tightly wrapped around the steering wheel, one of my thumbs tapping on the leather as my impatience grew.
All I wanted to do was go back in time and tell Shiloh how I felt. This was my fault she was out with some guy right now.
I straightened and stared at the restaurant again, just in time to see Shiloh’s car pull into one of the empty parking spots. My heart started beating instantly and I tightened my hand on the steering wheel hard enough that I heard the leather creak.
A moment later another car pulled up beside hers. I watched as she stepped out, and a second later, a guy I assumed was Ian got out of the other vehicle. This low sound filled the interior of my car and I realized it had come from me.
The goofy smile Ian sported told me he was enamored by Shiloh. I couldn’t blame him, but I didn’t want him getting any ideas.
She was mine.
He was lucky he didn’t try and touch her then, even something as simple as giving her a hug. I might’ve had to break one of his bones in retaliation.
As I watched them go inside, I contemplated staying in my truck, making sure that the night ended the way I wanted it to ... meaning he kept his hands to himself, they said their goodnights, and they never conversed again.
They were seated at a table in perfect view of the front window, which allowed me to watch. They sat across from each other, and the way he kept staring and smiling at her pissed me off. I shifted on the seat and leaned forward, bracing my forearms on the steering wheel as I narrowed my eyes at him.
He looked smart. He’d probably be perfect for a girl like Shiloh. Me, on the other hand, I wasn’t book smart. I didn’t have the skills to become a doctor. I worked with my hands, built shit.
I should just leave. This was an invasion of her privacy, and as I turned the ignition over and started my truck, I watched as he reached out and brushed a strand of hair off her shoulder.
Fuck that.
I was out of my truck and striding toward the restaurant, gripping the handle to the front door and pulling it open. Someone came up with a menu in hand, a smile on their face, but I waved them away as I headed toward the table where Shiloh sat. I probably looked like an asshole stalking inside, my head slightly lowered and my eyes narrowed.
Shiloh laughed at something he said, and then looked up at me, did a double take, and I watched as her eyes widened.
“Kace?” The surprise in her voice was evident, but my focus was on him.
He turned around in his chair and looked at me, and then his eyes widened as well when he tipped his head back and stared up at me. I stood right behind him, probably looking like I was ready to beat his ass.
And I was. That’s how pissed I was.
I didn’t say anything for long seconds, because I needed to keep my cool. Rationally, I knew they were just sitting here eating. But all I could keep replaying in my head was him reaching out and touching that strand of her hair.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” I asked Ian, trying to keep my tone even, nonthreatening. On the inside I was feeling anything but that.
“Kace? What are you doing here?”
I didn’t let my focus leave Ian. He looked between me and Shiloh, then back at me again.
“Um, we’re having dinner?” Ian said in a confused tone.
I shook my head. “Not anymore.” I looked over at Shiloh then, her eyes wide, but her cheeks pink, her irritation with me clear. I should’ve felt a little bit ashamed for how I was acting. This was probably coming out of left field here, but I couldn’t deny that me being barbaric was a natural instinct when it came to her.
“Kace, I don’t know what’s going on with you, but maybe we can talk about this later?”
She lifted a brow, and I could see how hard her jaw was set. She was angry with me and I hated that. I wished I could control myself where she was concerned, but the thought of her with someone else was like a knife to my stomach, the blade twisting and slicing, opening me up.
“Kace, can I speak with you outside?” She phrased it like a question, but her tone brokered no argument.
She stood and started heading out of the restaurant before I could even respond. I glowered once more at Ian before turning and following her. Once we stood outside, I shoved my hands in the front pockets of my jeans and stared at her, feeling a little bit ashamed that she was pissed at me. I’d obviously ruined her night.
But it was so hard for me to walk away, to not be here, to not go in there and stake my claim.
“What are you doing here?” The hardness in her voice lessened and her face softened as she looked at me. “Is everything okay?”
I nodded, not wanting to worry her, and feeling pretty stupid at this very moment. A million different things went through my head, a hundred different scenarios. I pictured her with Ian, holding hands, him trying to kiss her, to touch her.
I was in a blind rage at those thoughts, at the pictures that went through my head like a broken record, repeating over and over again. I stared into her eyes, knowing I should admit how I felt, but worried about pushing her away.
The silence stretched between us until I felt it start to get uncomfortable. She glanced over my shoulder at Ian, and I felt that possessive side of me rise up again.
“Kace?”
Before I could stop myself, I blurted it out. “Go out with me, Shiloh. Let me take you out on a date.” I saw the way her eyes widened, her mouth opening slightly.
I’d shocked the hell out of her. I’d surprised myself by just blurting that shit out. This was not how I meant things to go, not how I saw myself finally being a man and growing a set of balls and asking the woman I loved out.
But here I was, jealous and possessive, and only wanting her for myself.
“W-what?”
She was nervous. I heard it in the way her voice slightly shook, in the sight of her running her hands up and down her legs. She looked around, seeing if anybody was close, maybe trying to think of a way to leave.
Surely, I hadn’t read her wrong. I sure as hell hoped this wasn’t a one-way street concerning our feelings.
Or maybe I’d fucked everything up, crossed that invisible line, pushed her away without even touching her.
“Yeah, let me take you out on a date. I mean, you’re in there with him, so why not me?” And as soon as those words spilled from my mouth, I regretted them.
I saw the anger on her face grow. She straightened, tilting her chin slightly up, staring me right in the eyes. “Why, Kace? Why are you asking me out now?”
She crossed her arms over her chest, her anger and annoyance mirroring my own.
I felt shame in that moment for the way she looked at me, knowing that my jealousy had pushed me, and in return I’d made her skeptical. But I couldn’t tell her that I loved her, not yet.
My hands were shoved in the front pockets of my jeans and I looked behind me. I could see Ian through the front window, his focus on us, a look of concern on his face. That pissed me off that he thought I’d do anything to hurt Shiloh.
“Is it because you’re jealous?”
I didn’t answer right away.
“Why now, Kace?” she asked again.
Looking back at her, I swallowed. “Why not?” It was the cowardly thing to say, to not be honest with her, not tell her how I really felt. And she looked so sad in that moment, as if she had hoped I would tell her that I loved her.
Or maybe that was just me hoping, wishing.
And as she shook her head and glanced down at the ground with a forlorn expression on her face, I felt my heart rip in two.
Shiloh looked back at me. “Well, if it’s just a ‘Why not, because I’m on a date with Ian’ kind of offer, I’ll pass.” She gave me a tight-lipped smile and moved back toward the restaurant. I should have gone after her, pulled her in close and told her she was mine, that I loved her and wouldn’t let anyone else have her.
But instead, I stood there with my heart in my hand, wishing I’d done this a whole lot differently.
Chapter Four
Shiloh
“Are you okay?”
I looked at my mom and smiled, nodding. “I’m fine.” But I wasn’t. I hadn’t spoken to Kace in two days, not since he’d shown up at dinner with Ian and embarrassed me. But on the heels of that, I couldn’t help but feel this wave of pleasure that he’d been jealous enough to show up.
Then again, he acted like a barbarian, a caveman, saying he asked me out because I’d gone out with Ian, like I was just handing out dates left and right.
And that was what hurt most of all.
I was in love with Kace, but the way he acted made me feel like he saw me as a piece of property - jealous that I was spending time with others, specifically the opposite sex.
So I’d given myself a couple of days to think about all of this, to process it. He hadn’t tried contacting me and that told me he knew I needed this time.
It had been years that I’d kept the secret to myself, that I loved Kace. And to be honest, I’d never seen myself admitting that. I always kept us in the friend zone, not willing to risk things getting ruined. But things had changed two nights ago.
I felt the shift in our relationship.
I had seen the look of regret on his face right before I’d turned and headed back in the restaurant. If he’d just tried to talk to me, I would have told him that I was eating dinner with Ian as just friends, that I’d told him that, and he’d been fine with it.
But he’d gone all possessive and now things felt ... different.
“Are you sure, honey? You seem a little out of it.”
I looked at my father after he spoke and gave him a small smile. “I’m fine, really.” I wanted to tell my parents about Kace, that I loved him, but I was scared.
I’d been accepted into the school of my dreams, and I knew admitting how I felt would worry them, maybe have them thinking that I wasn’t going to go, that I wanted to stay with him. And I did, if I was being honest. I wanted both things. I wanted college and I wanted him, but I couldn’t be selfish.
I needed to decide what I was going to do, and that meant figuring out where he stood, because being in this limbo was too exhausting, too draining.
“May I be excused?”
“Of course, sweetheart,” my mom said, looking a little worried.
I stood and froze for a moment, thinking about what my next move would be. It was a little after five in the evening, and I knew Kace would be at his father’s construction site. They’d been working day and night to get this project finished, and Kace had been working extra hours on the weekends.
I could’ve waited until tomorrow, maybe just called him and talked this through, but I wanted to see him face to face. I wanted to be able to look him in the eye when I told him that I loved him.
And that’s exactly what I was going to do, because I was done waiting. If what had happened two days ago was any indication, my heart was far too invested to think that I could keep everything hidden.
Tonight I was going to tell him how I felt, and I just hoped and prayed that it didn’t make things worse.
Kace
Two days. That’s how long it had been since I made an ass out of my possessive self.
Forty-eight hours I hadn’t seen Shiloh or heard her voice.
And as much as I’d wanted to call her and smooth things over, I knew I’d acted out of character with her and she needed some space. But hell, not talking to her was the hardest fucking thing.
I was used to seeing her, calling her, making sure every day she was somehow in my life. Because I needed that like I needed to breathe.
I stood beside my father as he went over the blueprints, half-listening to his specifications. But I couldn’t focus. My mind was on Shiloh, trying to think of how I was going to make this right.
“Kace, are you listening?” My father’s deep voice drew me out of my thoughts. I looked at him, nodding.
“Yeah, I’m listening,” I lied and saw the expression on his face, one that told me he knew I wasn’t telling the truth.
“Listen, it’s late and you’ve been working a lot of hours. How about you head home for the night? I’ll wrap things up here.”
I lifted my hand and ran it over the back of my neck, nodding again. “Yeah, I’m pretty beat.” It wasn’t that I was exhausted physically, but more emotionally drained.
I started heading to my truck, reaching into the front pocket of my jeans and fishing out my keys. My focus was on the ground, listening to the sound of my boots crunching over the gravel, feeling like a little piece of myself was missing because I was on the outs with Shiloh.
The sound of an approaching car had me lifting my head, twin headlights illuminating the darkness for a split second. I moved my hand in front of my eyes to shield the light just as the car pulled up beside my truck.
It was her car.
Shiloh’s.
My heart jumped into my throat and my stomach tightened. The driver’s side door opened and she stepped out, but I didn’t move, despite the fact I wanted to rush toward her and embrace her, tell her I was sorry, and that I had been an idiot. I wanted to whisper in her ear that I loved her, that I’d always loved her, that I wanted her as mine only.
The sound of the car door shutting seemed to echo around us, and as we stared at each other, neither moving nor speaking, the sound of the construction going on behind us drowning out the beating of my heart and my ears, I felt as though I was lost in that moment. But I finally found the courage to step forward, and kept going until I was only a few feet from her.
She looked up at me with these big eyes, an expression on her face that I couldn’t quite read.
“Shiloh? What are you doing here?” Not that I had any problem that she’d shown up. In fact, I was ecstatic about it. “Is everything okay? Is something wrong?” Fear started to take hold as I thought about why she was here. Had something happened? Was she about to tell me that she wanted to take some time apart, that our friendship was now strange because of what had happened?
She licked her lips and inhaled deeply, and I knew whatever she was going to say was profound.
“No, everything isn’t okay, Kace.”
My heart stopped in that moment and I shook my head slowly.
“What? What’s wrong?” The protective side of me rose up instantly, this vicious beast wanting to take down anything or anyone who had hurt her.
She shook her head slowly. “No, I didn’t mean it that way,” she said, and I knew she could read me so easily, knew where
my thoughts had jumped to. “It’s just I had to see you to tell you...”
I had my hands curled tightly at my sides, my keys digging into my palm and fingers. I didn’t speak, wanting to give her time, let her tell me whatever it was she had to say in her own way. But my entire body was tight, every single bad thought slamming into my head.
She looked down at the ground for moment, her hair falling on either side of her face, slightly concealing her from me. When she looked up I saw unshed tears in her eyes.
“Shiloh,” I whispered, taking a step toward her but stopping myself, not wanting to make this worse. “You’re scaring the fuck out of me right now.”
“Kace.” She said my name so softly I almost didn’t hear her. “I love you,” she said and I watched as a single tear slowly slipped down her cheek.
“I love you too.”
She shook her head. “No, Kace. You don’t understand. I’ve loved you for so long it’s all I know anymore.” She looked at me right in the eye. “I’m so in love with you that the very thought of you not in my life is so painful it’s as if someone’s reaching in and gripping my heart, pulling it from my chest.”
The air was sucked from my lungs and I couldn’t move, couldn’t even speak. I knew I probably looked shocked. Hell, I felt like a tank had just run me over. Shiloh loved me.
She was in love with me.
This was everything that I’d wanted, everything I’d ever dreamed about.
I didn’t say anything because right now it was just pure instinct that took over. I closed the distance that separated us, my keys dropping to the ground as I wrapped her up in my arms and pulled her close. I cupped the back of her head and she looked up at me, her eyes wide and her mouth slightly parted.
My gaze zeroed in on her pink lips, my mouth watering for a taste. And I didn’t deny myself any longer.
My girl loved me.
I slammed my mouth down on hers, slipping my tongue into the warm, sweet recesses, groaning at how addictive she was.