by L.H. Cosway
I had to admit, the thought of being the one in charge was invigorating.
When we reached the café, Afric grabbed a table in the corner while I went to sit by the window. I ordered some green tea because my stomach was too queasy for actual food. Several minutes went by, and I glanced over at Afric’s table. She’d just been served a plate of waffles, and I envied her appetite. She shot me a wink and a thumbs-up, and I noticed she’d seated herself in a position so that she could discreetly keep an eye on my table.
Then, the café door opened, and in walked the prettiest redhead I’d ever seen. Seriously, her pictures didn’t do her justice. Annabelle was beautiful, though strangely, that didn’t affect me like it used to. Something had changed. She’d once occupied a pedestal inside my head, but no longer. I didn’t see her as this perfect, angelic being anymore, and I was glad for it. She was just a normal human woman to me now. It made facing her far more bearable.
She glanced around the café, clearly searching for Callum. Nerves thrummed through me as I stood from my seat, glancing at Afric one last time. She had a bite of waffle halfway to her mouth as she gave me an encouraging nod.
Deep breath in, deep breath out.
I approached Annabelle and opened my mouth to speak. Nothing came out. She glanced at me for a second, then instantly dismissed me, instead looking over my shoulder. When I didn’t move, she glanced at me again.
“I’m sorry, can I help you?” she clipped, and something stabbed in my gut.
“Yes, um, are you Annabelle?”
At this, her dismissiveness waned. “I am. Did Callum send you? Is he not able to make it?”
I motioned to the table I’d been occupying. “Can we sit for a moment?”
Warily, she nodded and walked to the table before taking a seat. I could practically feel Afric’s avid attention as she watched us, but it didn’t make me feel self-conscious. There was something reassuring about her presence.
When I met Annabelle’s eyes, there was a light of recognition in her. “Hey, I think I know you. Aren’t you one of the assistants from Running on Air? I’ve seen you on the show a few times.”
I sometimes appeared in the background of scenes, but I didn’t realise anyone paid much attention to me. “Yes. My name is Neil. I work for Callum. I actually run most of his social media accounts.”
Now she smiled. “Oh, you must know all about me then. Callum and I message each other a lot. Where is he, by the way? Is he running late?”
I didn’t answer her question. Instead, I sent her a meaningful look. “Callum doesn’t go on his social media accounts. That’s why I run them for him.”
Now she frowned. “What are you talking about? Of course he …” she trailed off as she stared at me for a long, long moment, the penny finally dropping. There was a flash of horror in her eyes, and my gut sank. She glanced out the window, fidgeted with her hands, then turned back to me, leaning closer and lowering her voice.
“Do you mean to tell me that you’re the one I’ve been messaging with all this time?”
I nodded. “I’m so sorry. Callum has me reply to all his messages, but before I knew it, we were having these full-blown conversations, and I didn’t know how to come clean to you.”
Annabelle’s eyes narrowed with a quick, brief flash of fury. “You could’ve told me the truth at any time.”
“You’re right. I could have. But I found I liked you so much that I didn’t want to lose your friendship. I feared that if you knew the real me, you wouldn’t be interested.”
At this, she studied me intently but didn’t say anything for almost a full minute. It was clear she was thinking very hard, sorting through the information.
“Is this why you went quiet on me for weeks?” she finally asked.
I nodded, and silence fell yet again. I eyed her anxiously, dying to know what she thought. Across the café, I met Afric’s gaze, and she widened her eyes pointedly as if to say, Stop looking at me and focus on her!
Annabelle lowered her head, closed her eyes, and inhaled a deep breath. Then, she opened her eyes and looked right at me. I was shocked when she gave me a small smile. “You’re wrong, you know. Yes, I would’ve been mad that you’d been lying to me, but I wouldn’t have been uninterested.”
I blinked at her. “You wouldn’t?”
“Of course not. You’re cute.”
“I am?”
She nodded, and a strange warmth filled my chest. She thought I was cute? She wouldn’t have been uninterested? Perhaps my lack of self-confidence had been misplaced. It gave me a boost to know I wasn’t quite as unnoticeable and bland to the opposite sex as I thought I was.
I cleared my throat. “Well, thank you, that’s very kind, but I still can’t justify what I did. It’s inexcusable, and I can’t apologise enough for not responding to your messages these past few weeks. You have no idea how awful I feel about that. It’s why I asked to meet with you today. I wanted to finally be honest with you face to face. It’s the least you deserve. I can never undo what I did, but I can at least offer you the respect of being truthful.”
Annabelle arched an eyebrow. “So, that’s it? You came here to tell me the truth and walk away?”
“Well, yes. Obviously, you’d never possibly be interested in anything more after the way I lied.”
“What if I am interested?” she blurted.
Uh, what?
She reached across the table to take my hand in hers. “Neil, I might’ve thought you were Callum all this time, but that doesn’t change the fact that you were the one I was talking to. You were the one whose messages I looked forward to. The one whose personality made me laugh and smile and brightened my days.”
My mouth wouldn’t work. Shock. I had to be in shock. I’d been so convinced that once she discovered I wasn’t Callum, she’d run a mile. But she hadn’t. Not yet, anyway. She was still sitting across from me, staring at me with wide, kind eyes. “I looked forward to your messages, too,” I said at last.
“I have a bold suggestion.”
“Oh?”
She squeezed my hand. “How about we put the lies behind us and start fresh?”
“So, you want to—”
“I want to date you, Neil.”
Her statement soothed a wound deep inside me, one whose presence I hadn’t been completely aware of. Annabelle accepting that I wasn’t Callum and wanting to give me a chance bolstered my confidence. It healed an infection that had been festering, made me feel like I had worth. And that was probably why I replied with a simple, “Okay, yes.”
Afric
I watched Neil and Annabelle from across the café, and a brick sank in my belly. From all outward appearances, she seemed to be taking his confession rather well. I realised belatedly that some part of me hadn’t wanted her to take it well. I wanted her to storm out and say that she never wanted to hear from him again. That way, Neil and I could resume our friendship without her shadow looming over it.
But that wasn’t to be.
They were over there chatting away, the conversation flowing like any successful first date. Jealousy swarmed within me, an expanding, shadowy beast. I was suspicious, too. Something about the ease with which she’d taken Neil’s revelation made me wary. Any normal person would’ve at least yelled or displayed some form of indignation. But not Annabelle. She was taking this all in stride, and I wasn’t entirely convinced it was genuine.
Then again, that could’ve just been my jealous shadowbeast talking.
I’d decided to go easy on Neil and act like his advances last night were nothing out of the ordinary. He was clearly chagrined by his actions, and for once, I didn’t feel like teasing him. The truth was, I couldn’t stop thinking about his words and the lustful way his eyes had consumed me.
I wanted him to look at me like that again. Instead, he was over there with Annabelle, the two of them getting on like a house on fire.
I hated this. I hated absolutely everything about it.
Why
hadn’t I tried harder to convince him not to come this morning? That way, I could’ve kept him all to myself. Oh, my God, now she was holding his hand. I wanted to stab something. Preferably her.
Picking up my fork, I skewered a piece of waffle and bitterly shoved it into my mouth. When I’d woken up this morning, the soundtrack in my head had been “Lovely Day” by Bill Withers. Now it was “Ain’t No Sunshine,” also by Bill Withers.
A little while later, Neil and Annabelle both stood from their table. She came forward, pulling him into a hug. The stabby instinct returned. They exchanged words, and then she left. Once she was gone, Neil made his way over to me. His expression was one of pleasant surprise.
“That looked like it went a lot better than either of us expected,” I said, trying hard not to sound as unhappy and jealous as I felt.
He ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, she, um … she said she wants to date me.”
WHAT?!
My eyebrows shot up, and my chest burned with the fire of a thousand suns. It wasn’t a fun feeling, let me tell you. “Do you … do you want to date her?”
A fleeting shadow crossed his features. “Well, yes, I suppose I—"
“Great,” I said, cutting him off sullenly as I stabbed my remaining piece of waffle with my fork. Was it possible for one’s stomach to spontaneously drop out of one’s body? That was the sensation I was feeling right then.
Neil frowned. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing,” I replied, unable to disguise the irritation in my voice.
He folded his arms, tilting his head in curiosity. “Well, that’s obviously a lie.”
I let my fork fall to my plate with a loud clatter. “I just don’t think you can trust her,” I blurted, and his frown deepened.
“Okay, why not?”
I made a dramatic hand gesture. “Well, for one, there’s what I observed of her at the gym.”
“Afric, you don’t even know if what you saw was correct. You said yourself you were too far away to hear her conversation.”
“So? Her snickering and body language told me all I needed to know. And to be honest, there’s a good chance that she’s only asked you on a date to get closer to Callum.”
Neil’s lips pressed together, dismay colouring his features. “Right, so you don’t think she could ever genuinely be interested in me, is that what you’re saying?”
“No, of course not, but this is an unusual circumstance, and I care about you, Neil. I won’t stand by and watch you get taken advantage of.”
“You think I’m naïve, then?”
Oh, hell. I was messing this up completely. Where was my tact when I needed it? Then again, it had never been my strong suit.
I levelled my eyes on his. “Look, I just feel like someone who thought they were conducting an online relationship with Callum Davidson wouldn’t take to being catfished quite so graciously. Maybe if she’d gotten a little angry first, then yes, I would’ve believed her acceptance, but the way she behaved is way too suspicious to me.”
I left the other part of what I wanted to say unsaid. The fact of the matter was that I was upset by how easily he’d agreed to a date with Annabelle when there was clearly some attraction and feelings brewing between us. He might’ve been drunk last night, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t some truth to what he’d said. It seemed I was destined to repeat old patterns, developing feelings for men who, for various reasons, discarded me in the end. The sad thing was Neil and I hadn’t even been in a relationship.
He didn’t respond for a long moment, and a shadow fell over the table. “Listen, I have to go. I have to check in at the gym. Callum and James wanted me to run some errands for them.”
I gaped at him. “So, you’re just going to run off and leave things like this?”
“I can’t see what good will be achieved by sitting here arguing.”
I frowned, a little piece of my heart breaking in two. “Fine, go then.”
“Afric—”
“Just go. You’ve won the lottery. Annabelle wants to date you. Congratulations.”
He frowned back at me, but he didn’t reply. Instead, he left, and I wandered up to the counter to order another plate of waffles.
I was about to eat every last one of my feelings.
14.
Neil
Two days went by. Afric and I still hadn’t spoken. I missed her more with every passing hour, but I was also still angry at her. I was angry at her for poking holes in Annabelle’s easy acceptance, for being so suspicious, and for arousing my own suspicions in return. She’d broken the momentary spell Annabelle had cast over me and inserted stirrings of doubt.
And the fact of the matter was that I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Not Annabelle. Afric. Interpret from that what you will.
A few hours after I departed the café, I accepted the fact that I wasn’t as excited about dating Annabelle as I wanted to be. When we’d been sitting across from each other and she said she wanted to date me, I’d felt a certain amount of gratification. It had soothed me to think a woman like her would actually want me, despite my lie. A few months ago, I wouldn’t have believed that she could accept the real me, not even in my wildest dreams. But now that I had some time and space to think about it, the happiness I should be feeling fell flat. Annabelle wasn’t the one who sent my pulse racing.
No, that award went to the frustrating Irish girl whose bright blue eyes, cheeky smile, and curvy body wouldn’t get out of my head.
I was busy working at the gym when I received a message. My stomach flipped because for a second, I thought it might be Afric, but it wasn’t.
Annabelle: Hey, want to meet up for coffee?
On the surface, it was a simple question, but I wasn’t ready to see her again so soon. Not with how Afric’s suspicions still had me all twisted up.
Neil: Sorry, I can’t right now. I’m working.
Annabelle: Why don’t I bring the coffee to you then? If you’re scheduled for a lunch break soon, I could also bring food …?
Her offer had me stumped as to how to respond. Then, staring at my phone, an idea sprung, and my resolve firmed. It pained me to think it, but there was a very good chance Afric was right and Annabelle only wanted to date me to get closer to Callum. What better way than to invite her to the gym and see how she reacted to being around him in person?
Impulsively, I texted her back, agreeing to lunch and sending her the gym's address before I returned my attention to my laptop. When I worked here, I typically camped out close to the entrance, where there was a small lobby with a coffee table and a comfortable couch. Michaela was off today, so I was the only one on duty to run errands for the cast while they trained. So far this morning, none of them had asked for anything, so I was free to deal with emails and correspondence.
I was focused on reading one particular email about a magazine photoshoot for the cast when the buzzer went off for the door entry system. My heart leapt right into my throat. It had to be Annabelle. Sure enough, I checked the security camera, and there she was. It was a warm day by London standards, and she appeared to be wearing a denim jacket over tight workout gear. She worked as a personal trainer, so the workout gear made sense.
I pressed the button to let her in, and a moment later, she emerged through the door, her red hair tied up in a neat bun.
“Hi,” I said awkwardly. “Thanks for coming over.”
“Of course! I’ve been looking forward to seeing you again. I brought coffee and two veggie bowls. I hope you don’t mind that there’s oat milk in the coffee. I’m vegan, so it’s second nature to me to order the milk substitute,” she said, then grimaced. “You probably wanted normal milk.”
She seemed a little nervous, and it warmed me to her slightly. “I’m actually dairy intolerant, so the oat milk is perfect.”
“Oh, you are? Well, that’s a relief.”
I motioned to the couch where I’d just powered down my laptop and packed away my things. “Welcome
to my place of work. We can eat here. The cast is training inside. I can give you a quick tour of the gym before we eat if you like?”
Her eyes wandered to the glass door that led inside. There was a light in them for a second before she shook her head. “Maybe later? I’m starving, and I work in a gym all day long, so it won’t be anything new to me.”
Well, at least she didn’t appear overly eager to go inside and meet everyone. And by everyone, I meant Callum.
“Are you sure? It’s not a regular sort of gym. There are lots of ramps and jumping walls kitted out specifically for practicing parkour. I remember you saying you dabbled in freerunning from time to time.”
She carried the lunches over to the table and set them down before taking a seat on the couch. “Yes, I do, but I’m nowhere near the standard of the Running on Air cast. I’d only end up embarrassing myself in front of them,” she said with a hint of self-deprecation.
She offered me one of the coffees alongside a veggie bowl. “Thanks. Next time I’ll buy.”
The polite statement was second nature, but it was only after it left my mouth that I realised I’d insinuated there’d be another lunch date.
“It’s no problem. I’ve always loved buying meals for others. It’s one of those simple kindnesses that make people happy, you know?”
“Hmm, I never thought of it like that, but you’re right. It’s always nice when someone decides to treat you, though being the man, I should probably insist on paying you back.”
She waved me away. “I don’t go in for all that. So long as things are fifty-fifty, I’m okay with it.”
“That sounds very reasonable.”