by L.H. Cosway
“You’re so hard,” I said, gripping his firm length. My thighs trembled, clenching at the thought of him inside me.
He didn’t speak, just stared at me with starved, fascinated eyes like he couldn’t look away if he tried. I bent closer, pulling his cock free as I bent my lips to him. He hissed. I made sure to lock eyes with him as I slowly took him into my mouth. One of his hands gripped the arm of the couch while the other reached down to stroke my hair.
“I don’t know what I did to deserve this,” he said, his voice hoarse. “But thank you.”
I smiled as I took in more of him, and he swore profusely. I swirled my tongue around the head of his cock, and a violent shudder went through him. I knew from the small details he’d mentioned here and there that it’d been a while since he last had sex. It had been a couple of months for me, too, and I wanted to make this good for him. For both of us.
I bobbed my head, increasing my rhythm and watching him, savouring all his little reactions and loving being the one to do this to him. I relished the control of it, the power of being able to render him so completely mindless.
He was mine. Always. After last night and today, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to let him go. He was a part of me now, had made a place for himself in my heart and soul. He had no idea how much his reassurances meant to me. I needed to know that he wasn’t just going to cast me aside, and Neil had no reservations about letting me know he was here for the long haul.
I tasted a salty spurt of pre-cum, and his body tensed. He stared down at me, and I made sure to hold his gaze as he came with a strangled grunt, his hand caressing my cheek as he watched me, his features etched in awe.
He said he was obsessed with me, but I was just as obsessed with him.
And then, like an annoying fly buzzing in our faces, his phone vibrated in his pocket.
“Ignore it,” I urged.
Neil frowned, his regretful eyes wandering over me. “I have to go.”
“What? Right now? Why?”
“Remember what I said about Annabelle blackmailing me into organising a night out with Callum?”
I gaped at him. “That’s tonight?”
He nodded, looking vaguely ill.
“Well, then,” I said determinedly. “I’m coming with you.”
“Afric, it’s going to be a nightmare.”
“So why would I let you face it alone?” I countered.
“You really want to come?”
“Yes. I really do. Let me be the person in your corner, Neil.”
His eyes caressed me like I was the most beautiful, wondrous thing he’d ever seen. “I don’t deserve you.”
“Yes, you do. We deserve each other. Now, come on, let’s get this awful experience over and done with so that you can take me back to your place tonight and return the favour I just bestowed upon you.”
At this, his eyes heated. “I want to return it right now.”
I shot him a coy look as I stood and headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth. “Patience is a virtue, baby boy.”
Neil groaned. “You’re going to be the death of me.”
19.
Neil
If a higher power were trying to punish me, then they’d curated this night perfectly.
Annabelle had chosen the venue, and it was the sort of place I actively avoided. Loud music. Flashing lights. Overcrowded bar.
When the bouncer recognised Callum and Leanne, he insisted on sorting us out with a private booth in the VIP section. He was a huge Running on Air fan. None of the others had been able to make it at such short notice, which meant it was just me, Annabelle, Afric, Callum, and Leanne seated at the booth. Callum and Leanne sat on one side while I was wedged between Afric and Annabelle on the other.
Safe to say, this was one of my least favourite outings to date.
When we arrived, Callum had given me an impressed look, like I was cultivating some sort of harem for myself. It killed me to lie to him as I insisted Afric was just a friend. Nothing could be further from the truth. Afric was so much more than a friend to me now.
I’d been furious when she revealed her plan to go out to a bar alone and flirt with strangers, but I couldn’t stay mad at her for long, not when I saw the hurt in her eyes when she told me she’d thought I’d chosen Annabelle over her.
Speaking of Annabelle, she hadn’t looked pleased when I turned up with Afric. She clearly didn’t appreciate the competition of another woman being present. Annabelle might’ve been attractive, but she didn’t have Afric’s spirit, her liveliness, her incandescent glow. There was simply no comparison.
Annabelle was even more annoyed when she spotted Callum with Leanne on his arm. I hadn’t failed to notice the split-second scowl she threw my way like I was somehow supposed to convince Callum to come alone. As if that wouldn’t arouse suspicion.
Now, we were having drinks and discussing our favourite countries to visit. A typically benign topic of conversation, but not so when Afric, who had no qualms pointing out people’s mistakes, was present.
“I just adore Spain,” Annabelle said. “I have such fond memories of Corfu. I’ve been there a couple of times now.”
“Isn’t Corfu in Greece?” Afric questioned as she leaned forward, resting her elbow on the table.
Annabelle blinked, then waved a hand through the air as she sipped her cocktail before primly placing it back down. “Spain, Greece, it’s all sunny skies and sandy beaches, right?”
“Um, no,” Afric shot back. “They’re not even beside each other. There are, like, a bunch of other countries in between.”
“Well, geography isn’t my strong suit,” Annabelle chuckled, shooting a smile across the table at Callum. “So, sue me.”
“Human decency isn’t your strong suit either,” Afric muttered under her breath, and I knew she’d had one too many drinks. When I looked at Annabelle, it was clear she’d heard. Her eyes darted to mine in accusation. Great, now she knew I’d told Afric all about her and the real reason we were here tonight.
“Pardon me?” Annabelle said, her gaze narrowed on Afric.
“I was just saying that for someone who claims to have been there a bunch of times, didn’t you notice the people weren’t speaking Spanish?”
“I was there with friends. I didn’t spend much time with the locals,” Annabelle replied cuttingly.
“Don’t tell me you’re one of those people who go abroad and immediately look for the British pubs?” Afric shot back.
Okay, this was in danger of turning into a full-blown argument.
“I really enjoyed South Africa,” I cut in. “It’s not somewhere I ever would’ve have gotten the chance to visit if it weren’t for my job.”
“I loved South Africa, too. Remember that wildlife reserve we visited?” Leanne said. “It’s still one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been.”
“You guys are so lucky. You get to travel all the time,” Annabelle pouted.
“It’s definitely one of the perks of the job,” Callum said. “Though flying isn’t my favourite.”
“Oh, you poor thing. Do you have a fear of flying?” Annabelle asked sweetly.
Callum chuckled. “No, nothing like that. It’s just boring trying to fill all those hours stuck on a plane.”
“Neil,” Leanne said, sending me a pointed look across the table. “Come help me get another round of drinks in.”
Great. She obviously sensed something was up. Leanne was far too shrewd not to pick up on the weird vibes between me, Annabelle, and Afric. Not to mention Annabelle was making bedroom eyes across the table at Callum every chance she got. I cast Afric a look that said how much I adored her and how much I hated putting her through this as I followed Leanne from the booth. When we reached the bar, Leanne turned and pointed her finger right into my chest.
“Ow! That hurt,” I complained.
“What is going on with you, Neil? Are you enjoying having two women compete for you or something?”
“No,
of course not.”
“Don’t give me that. The last time I saw you with Afric, you two were so cute together, and now you’ve brought this Annabelle person along as your date when you clearly have nothing in common with her and zero chemistry. It doesn’t compute. This isn’t like you.”
I rubbed the back of my head. “I know it’s not like me, but it’s complicated.”
“How complicated can it be? A blind person would be able to tell you’re besotted with Afric. You’ve barely been able to take your eyes off her all night, and the poor girl’s been knocking back drinks like it’s going out of fashion. It clearly pains her to see you with Annabelle. Also, Annabelle keeps flirting with Callum, and it’s beginning to piss me right off. If she shoots him one more secretive little smile, I swear to God—"
“Leanne, I’m so sorry,” I said just as a snappish voice interrupted.
“Neil, can I have a word?”
I turned and found Annabelle behind me, a murderous expression on her face. I stepped away from Leanne as she pulled me to the other end of the bar.
“That girl back at the table, Astrid—”
“Afric,” I corrected.
“Afric, whatever. She clearly knows about our …” she paused, glancing about to make sure no one was listening before she finished, “arrangement. How dare you tell her!”
“She’s my best friend. Of course, I told her. I needed advice.”
“You needed advice? Shall I remind you that I’m the one who’s been wronged here?”
“Maybe at first, but not anymore. Now you’re insisting on deluding yourself,” I replied, speaking my mind for a change.
“I am not deluded,” she said, reaching inside her handbag and withdrawing a small object. A second later, she was wielding it in my face. It was a USB drive. “If you don’t start playing along better, I’ll hand this over to Leanne. Every last one of our conversations is on there. I’ll tell her the messages were from Callum and that you’ve been arranging things for us, helping Callum keep our affair a secret.”
“Affair? There was no affair!”
“That’s not what I’ll tell her.”
She was a sociopath. An actual sociopath.
My gut twisted into knots from stress. At the other end of the bar, Leanne was leaving with a tray of fresh drinks. She shot me a questioning look as if to ask, You need saving, mate?
I shook my head, and she nodded, continuing on her way. I brought my attention back to Annabelle.
“Are you even hearing yourself? This is madness. If you do that, Callum will never want you.”
“Yes, he will,” she spat. “You made me fall for him, and now you’re going to make it real. You owe me that much.”
I stared at her, mouth agape. She’d … fallen in love with him? “You can’t fall for someone through messages, especially not if you haven’t even met in person,” I said.
“It felt like I had met him, though, through watching the show. And then the messages.” Her voice cracked, and for a second, her vulnerability shone through. My defensiveness dropped as guilt flooded in.
“I can’t tell you how sorry I am.”
“No! You don’t get to be all sorry and apologetic. You made me fall in love with someone who doesn’t even exist. This is all your fault.”
Finally, I truly understood. Annabelle was heartbroken and latching at straws. She was trying to force something to be real, even though a part of her must’ve known it never could be. I knew how that felt. Before I met Afric, I would sometimes wish that I was Callum. I’d convinced myself that life would be so much easier if I were him.
“Listen, let’s just go back to the table, have one more drink, and then call it a night. This isn’t going to work. Leanne has already noticed you’ve been flirting with Callum.”
Just like that, the vulnerability vanished, replaced with flinty determination. “No way. I’m not letting you off the hook that easily. You’re going to see this night through and as many other nights as it takes for Callum to finally drop that bitch.”
“Annabelle, you can’t be serious. Just think about this for a second,” I said, but she was no longer listening. She strode back to the booth, and wearily, I followed.
This night was no longer merely a nightmare. It was actual hell.
I slid into the booth, my arm brushing Afric’s, and our gazes met. Leanne was right. Afric had been drinking way too much. She was already halfway through the fresh drink Leanne had just gotten her from the bar.
“Are you okay?” I murmured to her quietly, my hand gently brushing her knee. A shiver seemed to go through her, and I felt it just the same. The connection between us was pulled taut, vulnerable to snapping at any moment. With this whole Annabelle situation, everything was still very much up in the air.
“I don’t think anyone here is okay,” she whispered back candidly. “Well, aside from Callum, who miraculously seems clueless that Annabelle has been undressing him with her eyes all night.”
I couldn’t help the smile that tugged at my lips. “Well, they do say ignorance is bliss,” I replied just as Annabelle’s voice cut through our conversation.
“I love being a personal trainer, but my long-term goal is to own my own gym one day.”
“Wow, that’s ambitious,” Callum replied.
“Yes, and I pride myself on that. I can’t stand it when people have no ambition, you know? Or worse, when they have potential but are too lazy to tap into it. I know so many people who never bothered to leave my hometown. They’re just stuck there working in these dead-end jobs.”
“That’s a very judgemental thing to say,” Afric interjected loudly, drawing Annabelle’s attention.
Annabelle shook her head. “I disagree. I’m being honest. If more people were honest, the world would be a far better place.”
Afric was already shaking her head. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. I livestream to thousands of people daily.” I could tell from the way she spoke that she was drunk, and I wondered if I should intervene.
Annabelle scoffed. “Sure, you do.”
“I do! It’s my job. I’m a gamer. Ask Neil.”
“It’s true,” I said before reaching out to touch Afric’s arm. “Perhaps I should get you a glass of water.”
“No water! I’m trying to make a point.” She jerked away, turning her attention back to Annabelle. “There’s no lack of honesty out there, believe me, especially not online. I deal with the brutally honest opinions of people in the comments section every single day. If anything, people are far too honest.”
“She’s not wrong,” Leanne agreed. “I came to a point where I had to stop reading the comments. They were messing with my head.”
“Exactly,” Afric exclaimed. “That kind of critical honesty can be helpful in small doses, but when it’s a constant onslaught, your mental health suffers. And about the other thing, not everybody gets joy out of being ambitious. Some people find happiness in the familiar. Take my older sister, Helen, as an example. She suffers from anxiety, but the way she manages it and lives a fulfilling life is through routine. She’s always lived at home with my parents, hates travelling, has slept in the same room her entire life, but she’s happy. She’s a homebird. Our parents are her best friends, and they adore her company. Some people might see her situation and feel sorry for her, but that’s just because they’re judging her by their own desires and ambitions. I always aspired to live in a big, diverse city like London, but I don’t judge the people who still live in the town where they grew up. Just because you live in one place doesn’t mean exciting things don’t happen. It doesn’t mean that you don’t still have stories to tell and things to talk about. I think if we all accepted that it’s fine to want to live a big, flashy life just as much as it’s fine to live a small, quiet one, then that’s what would make the world a better place.”
I stared at Afric, my affection for her expanding exponentially. She defended the underdog, and I was certain that was the reason she�
�d wanted to help me with my predicament in the first place. It was what drove her to pursue a friendship with me at a time when I’d been far from friendly. I wanted to say so many things to her at that moment, but I couldn’t with our current audience.
“We’ll just have to agree to disagree on that one,” Annabelle said. “I’m sorry, but I refuse to believe your sister can be truly happy still living at home with her parents.”
Afric stared at her, and I tensed, worrying she might say something insulting, but then she simply stood and stated, “I need to pee.”
“I’ll go with you,” Leanne said and followed her from the booth.
Afric
“Okay, you have to tell me what’s going on with Neil,” Leanne said as we entered the bathroom. “I seriously can’t understand what he sees in Annabelle. She’s completely unlikeable.”
My chest filled with that feeling of vindication you get when someone doesn’t like the same person as you. “Thank you!” I exclaimed. Admittedly, I was very tipsy as I rambled, “And who insists on everyone calling them Annabelle? Surely, any decent person would at least shorten it to Anna or Belle. But no, she wants everyone to wrap their tongue around all three syllables. Who does she think she is? A heroine from a Jane Austen novel or something?”
Leanne chuckled as she walked into an empty stall and closed the door. I entered the one next to hers. “I can’t argue with you there. But seriously, you clearly know something I don’t. I’ve seen the way you look at her,” Leanne went on, still talking while she did her business.
I stared at the navy stall door in front of me. “What way do I look at her?”
“Kind of like you want to tear her perfect, glossy red hair out.”
I cackled loudly. “Yes, that’s exactly what I want to do every time she starts talking.”
“Is it because Neil chose her over you? Do you fancy him?”
“What? No! I mean, yes, I do fancy him. Neil’s my sexy little Clark Kent, but it’s not that simple,” I replied, flushing the toilet before I emerged from the stall and walked over to wash my hands.