Locked in Vanity

by Sravani Saha

  ‘You have secrets?’ Chris cut her midway. She noticed Chris’s eyes shuttling between her eyes and her bare shoulders when he spoke. She wore a red top that started just under the soft curve of her shoulders giving an uninterrupted view of her soft peachy skin.

  ‘I mean, yes, just like anyone else has. By secrets, I meant the deepest thoughts in my mind that define me as a person. My happy moments, my sad moments, or moments when I’m vulnerable about my job, or my looks, or my hair. They are harmless, and not as dangerous or wild as you make them sound,’ Ruby replied. She rolled her fork on her plate as she spoke.

  When she finished speaking, her lips broke out into the most beautiful smile he had ever seen on a woman and his eyes travelled all over her face. Long sharply arched eyebrows that oozed volumes of well-deserved vanity, beautiful almond eyes that gave away the vulnerability of the heart, high cheek bones that spelled I-dont-care with ease coupled with a pair of lips that grabbed attention of the onlooker with their full but soft cupid’s bow.

  ‘Did I mention that you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen?’ Chris asked.

  She rolled her eyes and tousled her hair.

  ‘Well thank you Chris. If a photographer like you says this to me, I do have reason to be proud of myself, don’t I?’ Ruby laughed.

  ‘When did you start modelling?’ Chris asked while he sipped on his Cabernet Sauvignon and twirled it in his mouth.

  ‘You love your wine, don’t you? Ruby smiled at Chris.

  ‘I love subtle beauty and I make sure to celebrate them. Right now, I’m celebrating you and my wine. Beauties! Yes, about your modelling. Tell me your story,’ he said.

  ‘My father never wanted me to start modelling, but I always wanted to. We’ve had our share of disagreements about it and I had walked out of my house when I was 16, but my father brought me back and gave me a chance to prove myself. But we had a deal. If I couldn’t make it in two years, I’d have to follow his advice and work with him in his high-profile bags business. We agreed on it and I worked toward my goal,’ she stopped.

  ‘Bags business hah!’ Chris said. ‘

  ‘Yes, and he had actors and actresses as his clients. I’ve seen quite a bit of the fashion and film drama while growing up. I worked my ass off for getting on ramp shows and also traveled for work during my struggling years. Finally, I signed up with Ray and honestly, he made me what I am today,’ Ruby said.

  Chris noticed how she sipped her wine and also the coy smile on her lips when she mentioned Ray.

  ‘Aah, Ray, the evergreen diamond miner. He surprises me with his ability to look for the finest stones and sparkle them to excessive glory. But did you sleep with him? Ever?’ Chris asked.

  Ruby noticed the curl at the corner of Chris’s lips that smelled of snigger.

  ‘What, No! I never did. Though I must admit I do like him a lot,’ Ruby said.

  ‘He never made advances at you?’ Chris continued.

  ‘No. But he asks me out every now and then, but I refuse,’ Ruby.

  ‘Why?’ Chris asked.

  ‘I’ve decided to see him outside of work someday. He has a place of respect in my heart, and I’ll make it special for him one day,’ Ruby replied. Chris noticed how she talked of Ray with an unmistakable longing while her head almost rested on her right shoulder. A sliver of dark black hair gently rolled on her right cheek and made her more desirable than ever.

  ‘Are you lonely Ruby?’ Chris asked.

  ‘Who are you? Are you a detective, or are you a date for the evening?’ Ruby remarked. Her eyebrows shot up at Chris’s question and the curl of her lips widened at the corner.

  ‘Tell me, are you lonely?’ Chris refused to budge.

  ‘Who isn’t lonely Chris? Who isn’t? Are you not lonely? Was my father not lonely though I know he went around sleeping with every rich client he met, is Ida not lonely? I’d love to say I’m not, but that would be a lie. I dream about a lover who will cherish me in his life, and who will fulfil all my wishes and keep reminding me how beautiful I am,’ Ruby said.

  ‘What if he doesn’t remind you of your beauty?’ Chris asked.

  ‘Well then, he is not the man for me. I have worked immensely hard to reach where I am, a top model for top brands. I’m beautiful, and I will keep my beauty intact as long as I live. Nothing can change it. If a man doesn’t worship my beauty, he is not for me. I’ve worked so hard on my dreams and I can do anything to keep the flame of my beauty and dreams alive.’ Ruby said. ‘I want a man who will wake up every morning next to me and tell me how exquisite I am and how lucky he is to be with me. He must acknowledge that I look beautiful even when I’m messy in the morning, and he must look into my eyes and remind himself how lucky he is,’ she continued.

  Chris sensed the passionate vanity in her voice when she spoke of her beauty.

  ‘Why are we talking all this?’ Ruby asked. She looked visibly irritated.

  'Let's get out of here,' Chris suggested.

  Ruby agreed and carefully running her hand through her hair that she had matted a few minutes back, she set it in place. She pulled out her mirror from her purse and settled a few imaginary anomalies on her face while Chris paid for the dinner.

  CHAPTER 4

  ‘I loved our evening together Ruby,’ Chris said while he drove her home.

  ‘Thank you. I loved it too. You ask too many questions though,’ Ruby replied.

  ‘It was a pleasure hearing what this exquisitely gorgeous heart has to say,’ Chris said and tapped on Ruby’s heart with his finger.

  Ruby laughed. Intoxicated with the lilting tune of her laughter, he gently ran his finger across her face while she looked straight into his eyes.

  ‘Can I come up?’ he said to her.

  Ruby touched his right hand and gently placed her hand on his. She tugged at his shirt with deliberate intent, dragged him closer and kissed him on the mouth.

  ‘Come over,’ she whispered.

  She walked up the steps holding his hand.

  ‘Ida, please bring two drinks for us,’ she instructed on her way up.

  ‘You have a wonderful house. How do you live here alone? It’s almost a palace,’ Chris remarked.

  ‘My father built this house and left it for me when he passed away a few years ago. Ida and I live here. I cannot imagine living in a place smaller than this. I need my private space and more private space, and some more private space. This house is perfect for me,’ Ruby smiled.

  They entered her bedroom and Chris went out to see the view from the massive balcony. The night breeze swayed the diaphanous curtains and he stood there looking at the endless night sky.

  ‘Chris!’ Ruby called out.

  He turned and entered the bedroom to find her standing in a brilliant white sheer dress. Her hair was neatly tied up in a top bun with a few naughty locks freely dancing around on her face. Ruby’s sultry waif-like figure with her inviting looks sent hot blood rushing at his erogenous zones and he grabbed her with the erotic hunger of a carnivore.

  Chris explored her body with the passion of one who had been in a dry spell for months. A few minutes into the act and he felt someone watching them.

  ‘Is someone else here?’ he stopped in the middle of his act and asked Ruby.

  ‘Ah really! It may be Ida,’ Ruby said. ‘Ida, please keep the whiskey here and leave.’

  Ida walked out of the corner of the door and kept the bottle and glasses on the bedside table. She left.

  ‘Was she here all this while watching us?’ Chris asked.

  ‘She is just lonely Chris. She means no evil,’ Ruby said.

  ‘Are you okay with watching us? I mean, I..I am clearly not,’ Chris said.

  ‘Don’t worry Chris. She needs this for herself,’ Ruby said and lay down seductively on the bed. ‘Come to me,’ she said. Her tone was coquettish.

  Chris got up and wore his clothes. ‘I can’t believe she was here the entire time. I don’t know why you are okay with this. I’m sorry. I
cannot make love while someone else is watching me,’ he exclaimed.

  Ruby got up and poured whiskey in the glasses Ida had kept on the table.

  ‘Don’t worry about her. She is harmless,’ she said.

  Ruby offered a glass to Chris. She sipped from her own and bent over to kiss him again. Chris kissed her back but he took a quick glance at the door. Ida was gone. Chris put his tongue in Ruby’s mouth and turned her over with his hand placed behind her head. Her top bun unfurled her hair like a flag and instinctively, Ruby extricated herself from Chris’s mouth. Exactly, at that moment, Chris’s hand fell on her hair and accidentally pulled at it. She screamed and pushed him down and showered a rain of expletives at him.

  Ida came running. Chris sat on the floor inundated with shock. He heard words unexpected from from such a stunning beauty.

  ‘Please leave Chris. Leave right now,’ Ruby screamed. again. ‘I don’t need frivolous people like you to date me. Especially, someone as insignificant as you.’

  ‘Wait. I don’t believe this, Ruby. I don’t. Can you explain?’ he said. ‘Can I get some water?’

  He got off the floor and gathered himself in a moment.

  ‘I want you to leave right now. Leave’ Ruby screamed. Ida stood at the door but moved aside to allow Chris to walk out.

  ‘But Ruby! This?’ he fumbled for more words but felt choked.

  ‘I said leave. Which part of it is not clear to you Chris?’ Ruby screamed again.

  Chris made a dash for the door. He knocked over the ceramic potted plant on his way out.

  ‘Wait,’ Ruby said.

  Chris stopped. He looked back at her. She noticed beads of sweat on his forehead.

  ‘You will not tell anyone about this,’ she said. Chris sensed the sudden change in Ruby’s voice from that of a sultry seductress to that of a stern dictator.

  ‘Yes, ok. Totally!’ he replied.

  ‘Wait,’ she said again.

  Chris stopped.

  ‘As a way of saying thanks, I’ll get you one last drink. Ida! Ida! Get him one for the road,’ she said.

  ‘I don’t want a drink. I think I’ll make good money from this,’ he pointed at her.

  Ida ran and punched Chris on the face. She threw a small bottle at him and pointed at the door.

  ‘There,’ she said. ‘Your car is outside.’

  She looked at Ruby and smiled a dispassionate smile.

  Chris returned to his car and he wiped the beads on his forehead.

  He could not hold the pressure of meeting Ruby all alone. The self-complacent words of vanity, the passing whims of a famous model, the unprecedented vitriolic character, the immoderate indulgence in her own beauty gave birth to questions right at the beginning of the evening, but oh her beauty! He was ready to give in to her irresistible charm, and what an enchantress she was! But the sudden turn of events along with Ida watching them make love filled his chest with unexplained questions that he needed to discuss with someone.

  ‘No, I should sleep first. I will go home and sleep. I will cancel my early morning shoot,’ he spoke to himself.

  He ran to his car and zoomed out. He needed to ease out the burgeoning/mounting pressure on his chest and he pulled out the small bottle that Ida had handed him. He maneuvered the steering with his left hand while he held the bottle in the right and turned in the lid with his teeth.

  ‘One for the way. From Ruby, the famous model, to Chris,’ he sniggered and took a draft.

  CHAPTER 5

  Ruby sat before the mirror running her fingers through her tresses.

  ‘You are ravishing,’ she looked at herself in the mirror. ‘Did you have a date tonight?’

  ‘Yes, I did,’ she replied to herself. ‘He was good. He made me think about my life with questions no one had asked me before,’ she spoke to herself while her fingers petted her hair.

  Date evenings had always been a concern for Ruby especially if men came home. She never wanted her hair to be touched by anyone. However, she knew what relaxed her after a particularly unanticipated bad evening.

  ‘Ida..Ida, please take care of my hair now. I want to relax,’ Ruby called out.

  ‘Did you…’ Ruby looked at Ida while she used her fingertips to gently massage Ruby’s head.

  Ida nodded.

  ‘No Ida. I didn’t mean that. He was good, he made me think. I am starving for some serious discussions, and he asked me good questions. The rest of the men who date me want to either touch me or fuck me. Yes, Chris wanted to but he was different. He spoke to me, he wanted to know about me. You didn’t have to do that.’

  ‘I can’t let anyone hurt you,’ Ida said,

  ‘Oh thank you. At least I heard a few words from you Ida,’ Ruby replied. ‘Yes, tighter please,’ she directed toward her hair at her neck.

  ‘Do you ever feel lonely Ida?’ Ruby asked her after a brief interval.

  Ida’s nimble fingers continued to work on Ruby’s hair, but they suddenly acquired an unprecedented pace when Ruby asked her the question.

  ‘Ouch, slow down Ida,’ she winced. ‘Tell me, do you ever feel lonely? Do you want a man in your life? I remember the last time that guy came for you. But what about later?’

  Ida stopped working on her hair and left it unattended. She stared at Ruby for a moment and rested her hands on her shoulders.

  ‘No,’ she replied.

  ‘You mean it? You don’t feel lonely at all?’ Ruby asked.

  ‘No,’ Ida remained stoic.

  ‘I know you are lying Ida,’ Ruby said. ‘You liar, you little little liar,’ Ruby teased Ida and grabbed her hands.

  ‘Let’s get back to your hair,’ Ida said. A vague smile appeared and disappeared from her lips.

  ‘I want a man Ida. I need a man,’ Ruby said with longing. Her eyebrows shot up with a sudden rush of emotions and her mouth drooped at the corners.

  ‘I want a man who will love me for what’s here,’ she touched her heart, ‘and not just for this,’ she touched her breasts. ‘I have a human heart below all this glamorous facade of beauty, and you know that Ida,’ she said with dewy looks. ‘And I want someone to peel me off my layers, rip me apart and look within where he will see a soft red heart, beating with the warmth of a pristine flame that keeps it going,’ she continued.

  Ida finished braiding Ruby’s hair and left the braid on her shoulder while Ruby remained lost in her thoughts.

  ‘I love the attention I get Ida, I deserve it. I rightly deserve it. But I fear, one day I will lose it all. All my beauty, my skin, my hair, my looks will disappear, and that day I may lose myself,’ she said. Ida sensed the trepidation in her voice.

  ‘But you know what Ida? The man who stands with me on that day when I lose my glory will be the true love. But until that day comes, I will make sure time stops and I get all the attention and fame I rightly deserve. And I can fight all my days to ensure that day never never arrives. My fight is not between me and a man, my fight is between me and time. I will never allow time to win over me,’ she said with immoderate grit.

  ‘You must sleep. You are tired,’ Ida finally said.

  ‘Thank you Ida. You know you are the chosen one right? Nobody else gets to do my hair,’ Ruby said.

  Ida nodded and left the room.

  Ruby sighed and stared at her hair for a few minutes. She got up and took out a photo from deep inside her wardrobe. She held the photo hard on her chest and wiped off a tear. She placed it next to her pillow and sat on the floor looking at it.

  ‘I’ve done it Dad. I’ve done it. I’ve built myself from the bottom. Sorry you are not here to see what I’ve made of myself. This glitz, glamor, men craving for me, my beauty, the money I make; it is sad you are not here now. You needed to see this. You did,’ she screamed.

  ‘But you didn’t have the spunk in you to wait and watch. You ran away Dad,’ her voice toned down. ‘You left me Dad. I miss you,’ she cried with her head placed on the edge of her bed. ‘I miss you. Can you see what I’ve m
ade of myself Dad? Can you see from wherever you are?’ her words drowned in her tears and she got up on her bed with the photo in her hand. She lay herself on the satin pillow and closed her eyes clutching the photo in her hand.

  Her eyes opened at the sound of the ringing phone.

  ‘Hey beautiful, are you already sleeping?’ Ray asked.

  ‘Ray. Yes. Tell me,’ Ruby replied.

  ‘I called to tell you that we’ve partnered with another client, and you won’t believe who it is,’ Ray said.

  ‘Well, you better tell me right now who it is,’ Ruby spoke. Her words, refusing to come out of her mouth, found a ready outlet for themselves as soon as she realized she would be the face for more clients.

  ‘I bet you a hundred dollars you can’t guess,’ Ray continued to tease her.

  ‘Oh Ray. I don’t want your dollars,’ Ruby said.

  ‘But I want yours,’ he laughed.

  ‘Ray please,’ Ruby said.

  ‘Meet me for coffee tomorrow, and I’ll tell you,’ he teased her again.

  ‘I’m in the least mind to or have the flimsiest motivation to meet you tomorrow. I have a whole day shoot,’ she said.

  ‘Ok, It’s the Ultra Sun. They want you for their billboards and digital too,’ Ray said.

  ‘Oh that’s great Ray. Thank you so much,’ Ruby said.

  ‘Are you not excited? Why do I hear such lackadaisical notes from you?’ he asked.

  ‘I was sleeping Ray. Thanks again. I’ll speak to you tomorrow,’ she said.

  ‘So tomorrow it is,’ he said.

  ‘Yes, but I can spare only a few minutes during break,’ Ruby said and she hung up.

  Ultra Sun. One of the top brands she was after had finally signed her up.