Locked in Vanity

by Sravani Saha

  ‘Okay,’ Ida replied.

  ‘I’m going out for a date. A hot bod, and I’ve been eyeing him for long. I met him yesterday too, but in a group,’’ she declared.

  ‘Is it Ray?’ Ida asked her.

  ‘Stop probing. I’ll meet Ray only when I feel I’m ready for him. You know that Ida,’ she replied.

  ‘Someone special? More special than Ray?’ Ida continued.

  ‘Stop it I said. I won’t tell you. I just met someone nice and new. Oh, he has the charm of a magician Ida,’ she said.

  ‘Okay. Will you bring him home for the night?’ Ida asked.

  Ruby looked at her.

  ‘I don’t know Ida. I’m not sure. I don’t like them coming over. You know…,’ she stopped midway through her words and cringed her eyebrows. Sitting at her dining table she picked up the pepper shaker inadvertently and started knocking it hard on the table as she spoke.

  ‘I see,’ Ida replied. She went back to the kitchen.

  Later at night, Ida heard the door unlock. Then she heard voices. Ruby had brought in someone.

  ‘Do you want to eat something?’ Ida asked.

  ‘Oh Ida. You scared me. I didn’t see you coming. We’re done with dinner. But we’d love a drink. Won’t you Alex?’ she asked the man in the room.

  ‘Yes, yes, a drink will be great,’ Alex added.

  Ida kept a bottle and two glasses on the table and left. Her eyes showed signs of tiredness but she worried Ruby may need to call her. Instead of lying down on her bed, she sat up in her chair.

  Alex looked around in Ruby’s room and stopped at each photo he spotted. He drew attention to a few of them and mentioned how gorgeous Ruby looked in each of them. Ruby suggested they sit out in the balcony and enjoy the night air.

  ‘Do you love to torment others Ruby?’ he asked.

  Ruby turned white as a sheet. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Whoa. Calm down, calm down. I’m just asking because I hoped we could be close to each other…you know like how a good date ends and not sit out in the balcony,’ he walked close to Ruby and tucked in a stray hair behind her left ear.

  She walked away immediately.

  ‘Oh you mean that way?’ Ruby turned to take a good look at him.

  He smiled.

  ‘Come on Ruby. Do you know I’m a great kisser? Here, let me give you a taste of it,’ Alex advanced towards Ruby.

  ‘Later Alex,’ Ruby said. ‘A drink first. Let’s chat up first?’

  She dragged out a chair and sat in the balcony. He followed her with another chair.

  ‘They sat together sipping on neat whiskey. Alex almost turned tipsy after four drinks.

  ‘Why don’t you go home Alex? You’re already drunk,’ Ruby said.

  ‘But I want to kiss you. This is not a date if you did not kiss,’ Alex said.

  ‘No no, just get going now,’ she said. ‘I’m tired and I need to sleep.’

  ‘But listen..’ Alex advanced towards her and grabbed her hand.

  ‘Leave Alex,’ she insisted firmly.

  Alex came forward, and in a fit of drunken stupor kissed Ruby. He did not let her go and grabbed her from the back. Ruby tried to resist initially but gave way as his hands roved all over her. The alcohol had started mesmerizing Ruby and she gave in to his groping. Gradually Alex’s hands moved to her neck and up into her hair. They kissed while he grabbed her and pushed her into the room on the bed. In a fit of carnal frenzy, he ripped off her clothes and like a hungry lion, he thrust his pelvis on hers and drove her to beg for more. His hands ran all over her body and reached her hair. While she was charged with sexual energies, his fingers waded through the immense mass of her hair that pulled her strands.

  Ruby screamed.

  ‘Oh, did I hurt you?’ Alex said while his hands worked themselves on her breasts. ‘Oh come on Ruby, I want the whole of you,’ Alex spoke in a slurred tone while he put his mouth on hers.

  Ruby drew herself out of his grasp. Alex swooped to her and dragged her closer again laughing all through. He was too involved in the act and refused to budge. He kissed her neck and got his fingers tangled in her hair. Her untamed locks imprisoned Alex’s hand and he pulled at them.

  Ruby sprang up.

  ‘That’s it. You are out of here,’ she screamed as she freed herself from his hands.

  Alex stood before Ruby stunned with disbelief.

  He screamed.

  ‘You cannot speak to anyone about our date,’ she said to him. ‘Do you hear me?’ she shook him.

  Alex was quiet in his drunken stupor, but his eyes were wide open as if affected by trauma.

  ‘Ida! Ida!’ Ruby called out.

  Ida, almost ready to come, ran to Ruby’s room.

  ‘Miss,’ she said, while her eyes shuttled between Ruby and Alex.

  ‘Please show this gentleman the way out. And as a way of thanks, please give him a drink for the road,’ Ruby said.

  ‘Wait. I don’t want to leave now,’ Alex said.

  ‘You have to. And here is your bottle,’ Ida dragged him out of the room and thrust the bottle in his coat.

  Alex got up and in unsteady steps walked out.

  ‘I will talk about this,’ he said on his way out.

  Ida ran down to him, grabbed the bottle from his coat, opened it and forced it down his throat. She pulled him to his car, pushed him on the driver’s seat and started the engine. She helped steer the wheel a little and shut the door.

  ‘Drive safe,’ she slapped him on the face to keep him alert.

  Ruby watched Ida from her balcony. As soon as she came back in, she gave her a familiar look.

  ‘I know what you want to say,’ Ruby said.

  ‘No I don’t want to. He didn’t need that extra pump. He is too drunk anyway,’ Ida said.

  ‘What a pest!’ Ruby said. ‘Thank you Ida. I don’t know what I’d do if you are not here. I’m tired Ida. Do my hair please.’

  ‘I got to wash my hands first. I’m not clean,’ Ida said.

  When Ida came in to do Ruby’s hair, she was already asleep. She turned off the light and went back to her room.

  The next morning Ruby got a call from a friend.

  ‘Ruby, did you hear Alex is dead? He was driving when drunk,’ the voice said.

  ‘Oh is it! Sad. What else did they know about him?’ Ruby asked.

  ‘Nothing yet. Looks like he crashed into a pavement. He was dead when the emergencies arrived.’’

  ‘I see,’ Ruby said and hung up.

  ‘We are safe Ida,’ Ruby told Ida on her way to work that afternoon.

  CHAPTER 10

  It was the tenth of May, Ruby’s birthday. She was turning 30.

  When Ida came into her room to draw the curtains in the morning, she saw Ruby was already up. She was in her balcony.

  ‘Good Morning Miss,’ Ida said. ‘Happy Birthday to you. You are up already.’

  ‘Thanks Ida,’ Ruby replied.

  ‘What would you like to have today? Shall I make something special for you?,’ Ida asked her.

  ‘Come sit with me Ida,’ Ruby said. ‘I wish I could speak to my dad today.’

  ‘I’m sorry to see you troubled. What can I do to make you feel better?’ Ida asked.

  ‘Do you know I can turn jobless soon? I’m 30 today. By now, half the girls have been thrown off the ramp because 30 is too old, you see,’ she said.

  ‘The industry is tough, and big, and bad, and it is a predator. It looks at us only as flexible eye candies. Candies that are good as long as they are hard and taut. The moment these candies get lines on them, they are tossed off as rotten and disgusting,’ she continued. I remember the nights I slept on hard floors with fifteen other girls. I remember the days I went without food. And look I’ve made it so big now. I’ve resisted men, drugs and kept my strict focus on being the top model. But questions bother me now Ida,’ she stopped.

  ‘What questions Miss?’ Ida asked.

  ‘How long do I have until I am tossed
off from the industry? Do you know how long?’ Ruby asked.

  Seeing Ruby almost heartbroken, Ida jumped up.

  ‘I’ll get you some coffee Miss,’ she said.

  ‘No Ida, sit here with me. Speak to me. Hear me today. Please don’t leave me and go. Papa left me without knowing how I built myself up. I wanted to tell him that his daughter is not so easily broken. Be here with me today.’

  ‘Yes, Miss,’ she replied and sat back on her chair eager to listen.

  ‘You understand me Ida? You understand me? See, there is a girl. And there is the big bad world outside,’ she ran her hand through the open air.

  ‘The people in this world are too bad. They don’t want that girl to succeed. But she will. And she did. And now she can smell trouble again. But she is not the one to give up. She is so ravishing, she won’t let her beauty wither without being put to great use. This hair, the eyes, the skin, they ooze confidence,’ she said and sat down before Ida with her knees on the ground.

  ‘You see this face Ida?’ she pointed her index finger at her own face and circled the finger all around. ‘This is the face of a winner. And I’m the winner. I’ll be the winner,’ she said and stood up. Then she looked out in the open and spat down from her balcony.

  Ida was surprised at the vanity Ruby hoarded within her. She was aware of how impulsive the girl could be, but today was different. Ruby was almost held captive by her own venomous caprices.

  ‘Is anything the matter Miss? Did anybody hurt you on your birthday?’ she asked in a calm tone.

  ‘I’m 30 today. Is there anything else that could be hurting me?’ Ruby replied. She pulled out a bottle from the tiny bar in the balcony and gulped down the bitter liquid.

  ‘Fuckin 30,’ she cursed.

  ‘I’m already 40. I’m not cross. Why are you so cross Miss?’ Ida asked.

  ‘Ida, you are not in show business. You are not beautiful. You are not a supermodel. You are not even a model. You are nothing. You don’t have anything to worry about. You are zero. A big fat zero,’ Ruby explained and drew a zero in the air.

  Ida raised her eyebrows and nodded.

  ‘The thing is, Ida darling, you do not understand anything you do. You do whatever I tell you to do. You are so loyal to me, I cry to think of your innocence,’ Ruby smirked.

  ‘Well, I try to keep my promise to Master. He told me to keep you happy. I try to keep you happy Miss,’ Ida replied.

  In a strange unanticipated move, Ruby hugged Ida. She held on to her and Ida could feel her shoulders wet and cold. She put her arms across Ruby.

  ‘You are a great girl Ruby. You are as good to me as your dad. I can never see you hurt. Today is your birthday. Why don’t I bake a cake for you? Say yes?’ Ida asked.

  Ruby just nodded her head. ‘Thank you Ida,’ she said.

  Ida got up to go. She walked toward the steps but stopped.

  ‘Can I ask you something?’ she said.

  ‘Yes, Ida. Go on,’ Ruby said while she took another big gulp from the bottle.

  ‘You will marry? Yes?’ she asked.

  Ruby stared at Ida for a while.

  ‘Maybe,’ she said.

  Ruby was pondering on her own thoughts when her phone rang.

  ‘Hey, Ruby, Happy Birthday!’ Ray said.

  ‘Hello Mr.Manager! Thank you. How are you doing? Where have you been?’ Ruby asked.

  ‘I’m here. But I’m sulking,’ she replied.

  ‘Why?’ his concern showed in his voice.

  ‘Because I’m 30!’ Ruby said.

  ‘If you are sulking, I’m sulking too. Ask me why!’ he said.

  ‘Why?’ Ruby asked and laughed.

  ‘Because the most beautiful girl in the world won’t meet me for dinner,’ Ray said.

  ‘Oh, that’s sad. Why won’t she?’ Ruby teased.

  ‘I don’t know. Can you ask her?’ Ray said. ‘Oh wait, while you do that, can you also convey a message to her?’

  ‘Message? What message?’ Ruby said.

  Ruby could hear Ray making himself more comfortable while talking.

  ‘Can you tell her I’m waiting to really see her outside of work? Tell her that I’m tired of speaking to her about work, and contracts, and money, and clients. I want to know more about her. I want to know her as a person. When I want to meet her, I will look into her big brown eyes and discover what’s inside of her, the real her. I have seen enough of the working girl. Now I am keen to see her as a person,’ Ray said.

  ‘Are you telling that you are tired of her as a professional?’ she asked.

  ‘No. I admire her ambition. Sometimes, I envy her for her drive to grow. I’ve seen only few girls with such grit to cut through the noisy world and move ahead. She tops my list of people to admire. But I want to know what lies beyond the mind that pushes her to work. I want to know what she is like when she wakes up in the morning. I want to know what she thinks when she gets back home. I want to know what flavor of icecream she likes. I want to know what she does on a holiday. Like today. I want to know what she is doing for her birthday today? Can you please ask her for me?’ Ray said.

  Ruby could sense the emotion in his voice.

  ‘Sure Ray. I can ask her but I don’t know if she will reply,’ she twirled a lock of her lustrous hair while she spoke to him.

  ‘Does she love to wear makeup? How does she look when she isn’t under the arc lights? Does she love to lounge in pyjamas? Does she love to roll the windows down in a car or is she a windows-up person? Why, why is it that I’ve known her for so long but she has kept me outside a strict boundary? She has been testing me for long. I need to speak to her Ruby, I need to. Can you help me? Can you please have her meet me for one entire evening? Please,’ Ray almost pleaded.

  Ruby laughed.

  ‘I’ll ask her and get back to you,’ she said and hung up.

  Ruby rolled on her bed and stared at the ceiling thinking of all the years that have gone by with Ray by her side. She was almost beating herself to a pulp the first time she had met him. She was at an audition and thought she had done badly at it.

  Suddenly, she found someone standing before her. It was Ray.

  ‘Hey, are you here for an audition?’ he asked.

  ‘Yes, but I don’t think I’ve done good at it,’ she said.

  ‘What if you don’t get through?’ he asked.

  ‘I’ll go for another audition,’ she said.

  ‘Are you angry at yourself for not doing well here?’ he said.

  ‘Yes. No. Maybe. A little. But it doesn’t end here for me. It begins here,’ she said.

  ‘I manage the career of uncut modelling gems. You are the next one I see. I’d love to have you sign here and we can work together,’ Ray said.

  ‘What? Are you a magician or a cheat?’ she had asked.

  ‘Here’s my card. Call me. If you want to,’ Ray walked away.

  Ruby had called him a day later and signed him on as her manager. They worked together for years. She never wanted to meet him outside of work and ensured strict professional lines were maintained. But Ray had recently been asking her out and she had been denying.

  ‘Oh Ray, Ray!’ she smiled to herself while she lay on her bed. She stretched and rolled over while thinking of some of the good moments they shared at work. Excellent clients, lots of money, hard work, and more work kept them together. She put off meeting him personally for as long as she could. One day, when she would not be in the industry, she would look for him.

  ‘Should I meet him?’ she picked a glossy magazine with her photo on its cover and tossed it on her right. ‘Or should I not?’ she tossed the magazine back to the other side.

  She called him back.

  ‘Hey! did you check with the agent for Lock Lustre account? Are they coming in?’ Ruby asked.

  ‘Why don’t you give yourself a day off from work Ruby. It’s your birthday. Enjoy yourself. Keep these thoughts away,’ Ray said.

  ‘It is my birthday. That is more cause of w
orry for me Ray. Show me more thirty year olds around,’ Ruby said.

  ‘Did you ask the girl what I requested you to ask? I’m not talking of work today,’ he replied.

  ‘Yes, I spoke to her. She would be happy to meet you Ray,’ Ruby replied.

  ‘She said that? She would be happy to meet me?’ Ray almost screamed with joy and asked.

  ‘Yes, now stop screaming!’ Ruby said while she pushed her phone away from her ears.

  ‘Great! What time?’ Ray asked.

  ‘Uh huh. Tell me about the contract first,’ she said.

  ‘Ruby, you are stubborn. I’m sorry, they declined. We didn’t get the contract,’ Ray said. The enthusiasm in his voice died down. ‘I didn’t want to break it to you today of all days. We’ll get better brands Ruby.’

  ‘Ruby, are you there? Hey!’ Ray said.

  ‘Yes, Ray. I’m here. My fears are not irrational. It has started to happen. Can you tell me why they declined?’ Ruby asked.

  ‘Can I tell you when we meet?’ Ray asked.

  ‘No. Tell me now. Why did they refuse?’ Ruby asked.

  ‘They wanted a fresh face Ruby. They feel you are everywhere. They want someone new,’ Ray said.

  ‘They want a fresh face? Are they scared of an achiever that they want someone else? Do you know who they have selected?’ Ruby asked.

  ‘No I don’t. I didn’t want to upset you on your birthday. Do you think we can keep this for tomorrow and allow me to make your day special?’ he asked.

  ‘I’m already upset now,’ Ruby said and banged down the phone.

  Not happy with the impact, she called him back.

  ‘See me at 6 pm at Riverside,’ Ruby said.

  She took the phone and crashed it on the floor. The handset flew down the table with the impact and the wire jumped up before it plunged down somewhere on the floor. She plopped down on the chair before her vanity dresser and stared into the mirror. She breathed heavily before crashing some of her perfume bottles. Ida came running at the noise and found Ruby holding a pair of scissors in her right hand and a lock of her hair on the left.

  ‘Miss! What are you doing? What happened?’ she tried to pull out the scissors from her hands gently.

  ‘Ida, it’s really happening. I’ll lose my ground soon. They’ve started asking for fresh faces. My face isn’t fresh for them anymore,’ she held the scissors tighter than before.