by Anjela Day
“Hey Don, it’s me. I was thinking how much I missed you and wished I could see you. I love you, dude. I’m gonna go to try to get out of the house today. I miss my bestie, I, I love you Don” Was the message I left on his voice mail. I slipped on my jeans and my favorite purple T-shirt Adonis had bought me when I turned 15 and it still fit. Grabbed my mom’s keys to her everyday car it was the Volks Wagon bug real old school but so cool I loved it. I didn't care that my friends made of fun of me. saying that I drove a barbie car, in my head I was a Barbie girl. Well not lately, but I'd always imagined myself as a girl that could have all the things that she dreamed of. I drove around the hood for a while looking for something to get into. Just hoping to find someone to hang out with I took out my two way and began texting everyone I could think of just because it felt so good to be out the house behind the wheel to see people not to hate myself wow I was in relax mode. I drove up to bell Isle strip then parked my car. I popped out of my car and just stood in front of it. I was people watching. Something I often did to clear my mind. Everyone appeared to be having fun. Dancing and laughing among themselves. Loud music blaring from the dozens of cars parked, and those looking to park. Belle Isle was our own little party during the day. it was nice looking at the flashy cars and the hood rats run on any man that they thought would give them some cheese.
I sat on the hood of my car. before I knew it I was smiling.
Thoughts of Don filled my head. Thinking back to the night that Don had sat me on the hood of his car. He kissed me sweetly. I covered my face trying not to blush. However, I knew I was as red as a cherry. It felt good to have a good thought. I lied back on my car with my hands over my eyes to block the sun as I just enjoyed the day.
The sound of the birds chirping the crowd talking and the music blasting who could ask for more. elated that I was just able to forget the sorrow that had fallen over me lately. Startled when I saw someone approach my car.
I quickly sat up to see a shadow I see an image hovering over me I jumped up hitting my face on his chin. It was the guy from the store oh my God did he look good.
“Hey Shawty what’s up” he let out this cute haft smile. His teeth were so white and pretty. I looked up at him and smiled
“hi,” I said with a smile present on my face.
I was perplexed. I couldn't think of anything to say. I just stared blankly. "So are you here alone? he asked. I quickly got knots in my belly. I really didn't want to tell him I was alone. Maybe I was being paranoid. However I didn't care, I refused to allow myself to get caught out- there again.
“I’m meeting a friend, why what’s up."
" Well can I give you my number so we can talk sometime if you not to busy that is." He said looking at me seductively. I looked in my car and pulled out a notepad and pen I wrote my number on it and said here if you wanna talk you call me. I got in my car checked my call history and was kind of bummed that Adonis hadn’t called back. I called Zoe' back. She told me to meet her at big boy across the street. I started my car and drove across the street went inside and took a deep breath as I readied myself to see her. I hadn’t seen Cole since we got out of school she had the biggest crush on Don, but could never bring herself to tell him. I guess I was the only one who never noticed how cute he was. When she walked in I noticed she was wobbling and her belly was huge. I felt bad for sitting in the booth now would she be able to fit. It was like old times as soon as she took her seat we began to chop it up. I was so ready to know about the baby, and its father. I never recalled Cole being with anyone while we were in school, but clearly she had to been.
She was at least 6months however all she wanted to do was talk about Zoe' and the night of the party.
At 10 I hit the block. I had no choice. My pops left my mom. Truthfully I was sick of looking at roaches. True carrying package for Benny from one trap to the next was not gone make me a king. It did help a nigga get his feet in the door. Even my big brother Ricardo look'ed at me in a new light. Hell that nigga was 14 and working for me. Don’t think he let me forget he was older, I didn't care though. When you on the streets the only numbers that matter are money. I was still determined to prove to that nigga that age had nothing to do with getting money and having power. at 21 I walked up in Benny's stash house guns blazing. Yeah my hands sweaty and my heart was racing, but my head was on straight and I was ready to do what I had to do to get the crown. Benny was far from king , but he was a big step to taking that nigga out. I come to learn that the king is rarely in the streets.
He normally was somewhere living comfortably. allowing someone to collect his money, and even cleaning it through small business.
I had to make the move to get this niggas attention. Yeah, it was suicide going in alone, but I couldn’t risk having a nigga betray me. Snitch, or take me out as soon as I took that nigga Benny out.
It was cool I had been one of Benny's niggas for 11 years. I knew his routine. He always did the Stash first thing in the morning and the only nigga that he had with him was his brother. That made him a sloppy nigga. One of the biggest reasons why he needed to be taken out. Real niggas stayed on there toes, not him. He had got paid and got to relaxed.
As soon as I walked in the house I could hear the money machines singing. I took a deep breath and popped off two shots in his brothers head.
That nigga Benny jumped from the table where he sat. So busy looking at his cash he didn’t hear me come until his brother hit the ground. He looked up at me and before he could even slip his fat fingers down his waist band. I had my gun to his head.
“They going to come for you,” he said breathlessly
“I know,” I told him as I pulled the trigger emptying the clip into him.
“Um, baby what’s wrong” My girl Aisha asked and I shake out of my thoughts of the past. Pulling her on to my lap to kiss her neck.
“What the doctor say? I asked her, she looked down at her feet and then back up at me.
“Who is Shay?” She asked changing the subject.
“Man what don’t start with that I asked what the doctor said” My mind went back to a hoe I had fucked a few days ago, but that had nothing to do with our relationship.
“I had a miscarriage,” she said with a stone cold face. Standing from my lap she walked into the bedroom and slammed the door. I was at a lost walking into the room behind her.
“Fuck you mean?” I said feeling winded as I spoke.
“Look, Cali, I don’t feel like fighting I just want to lie down,” She told me kicking her clothes off and slipping in the bed. I sat on the edge of the bed not knowing how the fuck to feel. Now I had no business wanting a seed, but I did. I wanted to give a kid what my old dude didn’t provide for me. I need a blunt and a glass of Hennessy. I jumped up grabbing my keys from the dresser and a haft lit blunt that I had started smoking this morning.
“Yo ma you got a lighter? I asked picking up her purse.
“No, I don’t she said jumping up and grabbing her purse like I was a common nigga. I sucked my teeth and looked at her like she was dumb.
“Fuck wrong with you?”
“Nothing Cali I just hate you go through my shit”
“Man you fuckin tripping I said walking out the bedroom and slammed the door. I ran my hands over my face feeling hurt cuz my seed was dead. Realizing if I felt that way my girl felt 10 times worse. I turned and opened the door walking in on her crying reading pink and gray forms.
“What's that,” I ask and she jumps looking like a deer in headlights balling the papers up. I walk over to where she was lying and start to pry her hands open.
“Stop you hurting me Cali” she whined, but I didnt care I was going to see what the fuck she was so busy hiding.
“Give it here” I ordered.
“Khalil stop it you hurting me!” She said as I snatch the paper and un-ball it, and begin to read the words patient care after abortion. My eyes widen and I didn’t even think. I took her neck into my hands and began to choke her. I watche
d her face turn red, and just when I felt like she barley had life in her I let he go. I tossed her on the bed, and stepped back. She started to rub her neck tears streaming her face.
“Oh you feel that breath you took? My kid didnt get a chance to do that.” I told her grabbing her shit up as fast as I could. “Now you care about a baby? What about when I needed you to just be there.” She shouted, and I paused. Was she trying to flip this shit on me?
Look so because I'm trying to get bread you kill my kid?” I asked her feeling myself starting to get even madder. “It was more than that.” She said taking giant steps back. “who is Shay?” She asked bringing the hoe up again. “Yo replacement nah, hoe, the bitch imma bout to have laid in yo bed.” I told her and she swung on me.
“Here you go being mad about a fuckin hoe I put pie to, and you were having my child.”
“Oh lucky me Cali! I get to be yo baby momma. Fuck I want to be a nigga's baby momma for. I want to be a wife, and I won't get that toting yo bastard ass kid around.” She said raising up in my face. I knocked her to the ground. I stood over her my foot raised in the air ready to stump her, when guilt filled head. I knew she was right. I guess I should be thankful she did us both a favor, but that didn't change the fact it hurt. I exhaled and put my foot on the ground.
“Get yo shit, and get out my house, I see yo ass again, i'mma going to get one of my hoes to beat yo ass on sight. I told her walking out my bedroom. Into the kitchen to get a drink.
***
I poured myself a glass of Hen and stared at it. Who knew some thing so small could hurt this bad.
“What up bro?” A-Rod said walking into the side door. He dropped his keys on the table, and grabbed a glass.
“So we not celebrating?” He joked pouring himself a drink, and taking a seat.
Most times I was glad A-Rod lived in my basement. This wasn't one of those times. I really just wanted to drink alone. I just couldn't bring myself to tell that nigga that. He was always there when I needed him. Hell He had my back more than anyone in life had ever had it. “We weren't even blood, but he was my brother. I took a sip of my drink. Not really feeling like talking. I thought A -Rod was going to keep babbling, but he sipped his drink, and kept his mouth shut. We both just drank in silence.
I’m not gone to lie seeing Neisha covered in blood and knowing that someone had hurt her I felt helpless. As much as I wanted to hold her and console her; I couldn’t. A part of me blamed her for even going to the party, fuck was she thinking to rock that short ass dress. Why the fuck she let that nigga feel up on her ass in the first place. Then I had to come to the realization it wasn’t her I was mad. Shit I was pissed at myself for leaving her after what had went down, I should have made her ass get in the fuckin car. My dumb ass was making sure my hoe ass niggas was good. They were men, they would have been golden. She was the one I should have been worried about. I should have made my girl come home and chill with me. Watch a movie or some shit. Damn my girl “There that word was again. I pull the blunt wrapper from the bag and pour the ounce of weed onto a mirror and began to break it down. My mind still scrambled. One side of me wishing Neisha would just pick up the phone and talk to me. The other side I see that nigga DJ face. Bitch didn’t think he could touch mines, and still be good. Not at all. I rolled my blunt and fireed it up lying back on the bed. I see his mangled body as I strike it with the bat over and over. Clearly, bitch had no Idea who I was and what I was capable of. In my defense I told that bitch made nigga. She was my shit look but don't touch. He was all but begging me to bash his body.
“Fuck” I look over at my yelling phone and reach for it.
“What I yell in the ear of the caller”
“Don” the bitch whine like shes mine.
“Man don’t call me that!” I tell Cole pissed that a fuckin booty call has become a stalking situation. I should have never fucked with her young ass.
“I thought you were gone come over?” She asked sounding disappointed.
“Man shit came up! Why you check-in me I got shit on my plate right nah!”I told her. She sucked her teeth as if I had made her mad. On God I wanted to reach through the phone and knock the shit out the hoe.
“You lie so much. You probably fucking another bitch,” Cole said as if I were her man.
“Bitch worry about who you fuck not who I fuck” I cut into her real quick.
“Watch how you talk to me, Adonis! I don’t care if your daddy is a boss nigga you're not!” She said causing me to choke on my blunt.
Was this bitch for real me not a boss nigga but her hands and legs open? “Bitch you can't spell Boss, so how the fuck you know what one looked like? Yo ass all on my phone begging for one more chance, bigge small type bitch. Get off my line.” I told her I taking a pull from my blunt and end the call with the tramp. She had me fucked up. I dialed Neisha number hoping that I could just see her, but not knowing what I was gone say if she picked up. I take another pull and put the blunt before I put it out. Letting the smoke out just as her answer machine picks up.
“Hey, you got Neishaa I;m out living my life . So do me a fave KISS keep it short and sweet. Leave it at the beep. ” The recording said annoying me.
“Aneisha its D man pick the fuck up! Man babe I’m coming over.” I ended the call jump up and slip into my jeans. Grab my phone two way and keys just as my phone rings again.
“Neisha” the sound of smacking lips let me know right away it wasn’t her.
“What man! I know you not stressing that hoe when I’m carrying yo seed.” I looked at the phone to catch what she said. I was taking a back.
“Say what, man run that shit on the next dude I haven’t fucked you in over 7 months and I have wrapped extra tight ma so uh you wasting my time real talk.” She smacks her lips and I wait for her to respond.
“Whatever nigga it’s been 32 weeks so add that shit up!” Cole said sucking her teeth
“Man whatever Adonis! I have a doctor’s appointment in the morning and you can come with me! When the baby comes if you still doubting me we can do a blood test, but nigga you know my pussy was so good that you slipped that one time!” I could hear her cocky tone was getting more pissed by the second.
“Man what time and where,” I asked her listing to her speak to me like I was some little boy. After she gave me the 411 I really didn’t feel like leaving the house. I ended the call wanting to call Neisha and tell her the bull shit and thought how I would sound if I did. Grabbing what was left of my blunt I laid back on my bed lit it and let the kush free my mind.
Cole
The Only reason had agreed to meet Neisha was to look in her face. I wanted to see her face When she realized that I was having Don's baby. I really wanted to love Neisha after all we'd been best friends with for over 12 years. The older we got the clearer it became to me how selfish she truly was. I mean Zoe' was our home girl and Neisha just left her. God knows what those guys gave to her, and for Zoe' to be strung out on all types of drugs you know that someone had to slip her some shit. However, all Neisha could think about was fuckin a nigga that would never be hers. The look on her face PRICELESS. I wanted to scream guess who my baby daddy is so bad, I wanted to bust her bubble little miss I get what I want when I want. Will not be getting Adonis. That’s right I was his baby momma.
“What you smiling for?” Neisha ask
“Girl this baby be moving” She reached over the table touching my stomach and a part of me wanted to pinch her. I mean I sit here and look at her and nothing fazes her. Not even me having my cousin DJ to talk to her. He told me she got Adonis to jump him but he was able to put the fear in her after he left.
“hum mental note call DJ hadn’t talked to him in a few weeks.
That was Neisha she always had someone to save her and I was beyond sick of it.
“So Neisha what happened at the party! Zoe' is just acting so different! I looked at her with a raised eyebrow.
“Girl I don’t know Zoe' made a tape having sex with a fe
w guys. I don’t know how it got leaked, but it did and Now Zoe' has been all over the place!”
I tried not to roll my eyes or show how I truly felt, but this bitch had beyond pissed me off with the bull shit and lies she was spitting! I looked down at my phone putting my phone on silent as my ex-called.
“So Neisha what have you been up to? I asked not really caring. Truthfully I wanted to see if she had talked to Adonis because he had been out of town for the last couple weeks. The sound of my phone ringing pulls my attention away from her. I gave her the finger, not the one I wanted to give her but to let her know I had to take this call.
“Hey bay you at my house”
“Man where you at?” He asks and I smiled
“I’m having lunch with a friend, but since you there I’m on my way to you.” I told Adonis