It was past time to have a frank discussion with his father. Really talk. Not dance around the issue but make it clear the direction he intended his life to go. It was with that intention Lyle drove to his parents’ house that evening.
His mother opened the door. She looked surprised and pleased to see him. She glanced around him. “Is Cass with you?”
Lyle’s chest tightened at the reality that she was actually thousands of miles away. He reminded himself that he would soon be going after her. “No, she was discharged and has gone home. She asked me to say goodbye to you.” Cass had. Just before she’d told him the same at the castle door and had gone inside.
His mother placed a comforting hand on his arm. “I’m sorry. I could tell you really liked her.”
Lyle did. More than that, he loved her. “I hope she’ll come back.”
“If she is as smart as I think she is, she will.” His mother gave him a quick hug.
Lyle gave her a wry smile. “Is Dad home? I wanted to talk to him for a few minutes.”
“He’s inside, watching TV.”
Lyle took a step and stopped. “How’s he feeling today?”
Her look turned to one of slight concern. “He’s having a good day.”
“I’m glad.” Lyle started toward the living room again.
“Would you like to stay for dinner?” his mother asked.
“I’ll let you know in a few minutes after I’ve spoken to Dad.” Lyle didn’t look at his mother. He was sure her mouth was drawn with concern.
Lyle walked into the living room with his shoulders squared in determination. His father was watching TV. “Hi, Dad.”
“Hello. This is an unexpected visit.”
Lyle took a seat on the sofa instead of the closer chair so that the two of them faced each other. “Dad, I need to discuss something with you.”
He turned off the TV. “Are you here to tell me you’ve signed up for active duty?” His delight showed clearly on his face.
“About that. Dad, I’m not going to go on active duty by choice ever again.”
That joy on his father’s face quickly turned to disappointment.
“I have a good job here. I’m needed and I believe I’m respected. Army life isn’t for me. It never really was. I did it for you. That’s not how I want to live my life. I need to do what I love and that’s medicine here, at the clinic. I’m sorry if I’m disappointing you. I’ve known this for a long time and I’ve only led you to believe that I might one day go on active duty again to make you happy, and for that I apologize.”
His father’s look had darkened as Lyle spoke. He leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands together. His expression didn’t waver. Lyle knew that one well from his childhood days when he was in trouble. “I can’t say that I am pleased with your decision. It’s in our family’s blood to be career soldiers. I brought you up to think that way as well.”
“You did. But I love private medicine more. I want to serve in another way.”
His father settled back, looking both old and tired. “I see that now. I guess I didn’t want to before. I grew up with my father stressing that our family fought for people by serving in the armed forces. I was given no choice, my father wasn’t given one either. But we were both happy with our lots in life. It was our duty to protect. It was all I knew. All I knew to hand down to you. I never thought you would want to go another way, Lyle. I have to admit your young lady’s impassioned speech did make me think, though.”
Cass had done that. Lyle’s ego still got a boost whenever he thought of her words.
“I heard the talk around the village about that girl going missing and what you and Cass did to save her,” his father continued. “Since then others have stopped me and told me how much they appreciate you being here and the importance of the clinic. I’m proud when I hear it. I’m sorry that you’re not going to return to the army but I do love you, son.”
Lyle went across to his father and gave him a hug. Afterwards he called, “Mum, I’ll be staying for dinner.”
* * *
Cass had never known misery like the kind she’d endured on the way to the airport. Everything in her screamed to return to Lyle. But he hadn’t even waved goodbye. Had she hurt him that much? She felt sick inside.
The tears had flowed the entire trip to Fort William and then on to Aberdeen. More than once the taxi driver had looked in his rearview mirror with apprehension, but he’d said nothing.
She’d done everything she’d told herself not to. She’d let herself care. About him. The people at Heatherglen. Even Andy and that funny-looking dog, Dougal. Hero. Her emotions had been in a muddle when she had arrived at the clinic, and they weren’t any better now that she’d left.
She’d known fear from when she’d almost lost her brother. She’d experienced deep loss from losing Rufus. And now Lyle was gone. This time was harder. She couldn’t even breathe, the pain was so strong. Worse, she had chosen this. She wrung her hands.
She couldn’t turn back. All she’d said to Lyle was true. She needed to have her act together before she made an emotional commitment to anyone, especially to him. Her parents were expecting her. It was Christmas, and they were worried about her. She had to see them first.
What her future would look like still needed to be decided. Search and rescue was no longer for her. So what would she do now? There was also her house to think about. When she had her life in order, she’d see if Lyle still felt the same. He deserved someone who knew what she wanted and had her head on straight. Only then would she return to Lyle and discuss any future they might have.
The flight home wasn’t much better emotionally than her ride to the airport. She’d only found relief in the few hours she had slept. Her parents were there to meet her. They quickly enveloped her in tight hugs. She needed those more than anything at the moment. They insisted that she go to their house for dinner and stay the night. Cass didn’t resist. Right now she wanted their circle of security. With them she could just be, not think. She needed time to regroup.
Her parents’ home was decorated for Christmas. Cass should have expected that. The minute she looked at their tree, her eyes filled with tears. It was all light, tinsel and glitter. It made her appreciate the simple, natural tree that stood in Lyle’s living room. More than that, she wanted Lyle.
Her brother and his family came for supper the next day. With two young children, the meal was lively. Cass was glad to see them but she was so exhausted, both mentally and physically, that she excused herself early. Despite all the tears she’d shed during the day, she still wanted a good cry. She hurried to her childhood bedroom and closed the door. Minutes later she was in the shower, letting those banked tears flow.
By the time there was a knock on the door she was in bed. “It’s Mom. Can I come in?”
“Yes.”
Her mother entered, carrying a mug. “I brought you some tea. I thought it was too late for coffee.”
That was enough to have Cass’s eyes swimming once more. She’d never cried this much in her entire life. Never been this distraught. The idea she might never have a chance to share time with Lyle again had her emotionally splintered. She had to get control of herself. Showing her emotions like this wasn’t her. But, then, much about her over the last few weeks was different. Like pulling Lyle into the tub. That had been so much fun, for a number of reasons.
Her mother set the tea on the bedside table then perched on the edge of Cass’s bed. “I had no idea you hated tea so much, or is something else going on? What’re you not telling us? Are you still in pain?”
Cass hated the fear she heard in her mother’s voice. “I told you everything about my injury. I promise I’m much better. It’s my heart that’s broken. And I think I’m the one who broke it.” She poured out her sorrow and what had happened while she’d been at Heatherglen.
Her mother held her while she cried. When she settled down her mother said, “So what’re your plans now, honey?”
“I don’t know. Tomorrow morning I’m going to call about my job. I’m going to resign from it. That work isn’t for me anymore.”
Her mother patted her leg. “Your dad will be pleased to hear that. We’ve worried about you being in all those far-flung places by yourself for too long.”
Cass hadn’t been by herself. Rufus had been with her. Now she had no one. “I’ve been thinking that I might enjoy training rescue dogs instead.”
“That sounds like something you’d be good at. And what about that amazing doctor of yours?”
Hers? She hoped despite how she had left things between her and Lyle that he would at least speak to her when she saw him again. “Mom, he asked me to stay. I was afraid to make such a big decision when I was so messed up over being hurt, Rufus dying and not being closer to home. I didn’t know what I wanted my future to look like then. I hurt him badly. I’m not sure he’ll ever want me again.”
“So, do you know how you feel now?” Her mother held her hand.
“I knew the minute I left the clinic. I wouldn’t let myself turn around, though. I needed to come home. To see you and Daddy.” Cass looked directly at her mother. “I love him.”
“Then I suggest you go back and tell him.”
Cass murmured, “I don’t know if he wants me anymore. He didn’t even say goodbye.”
“Honey, if all you’ve told me is true, I wouldn’t worry about that. He wants you. I’d suggest you take care of business here as soon as possible then go tell him how you feel and see what happens.”
“I don’t know...”
She mother stood. “Our family knows better than most how easily something can be almost taken away. Grab every chance at happiness and have no regrets.”
The one thing Cass had been with Lyle was happy—and at Heatherglen, too. “What about Christmas?”
Her mother shrugged. “We’ll celebrate it early. Or late.” Then she grinned. “Or come to Scotland.”
“Oh, Mom.” Cass wrapped her arms around her mother. “I love you.”
Over the next few days Cass resigned from her job, packed her bags and closed up her house. She was on her way to find that happiness she wanted. And that started with Lyle.
* * *
Christmas had never really mattered to Lyle. Cass had managed to make it exciting for a while, but that had gone with her. He’d spent the last week going through the motions. To say he wasn’t in a festive mood would be an understatement.
He was actually heading into the worst Christmas of his life. It was going to top the year Freya had left him, and the one when his father wouldn’t speak to him because he’d said he was going inactive so he could take the job helping Charles get the clinic started.
Losing Cass was like losing an arm or a leg. He had to relearn how to function without her. Every day he forced himself to do what was necessary. People were starting to notice. The few times he had seen his parents his mother had watched him with worry and hugged him a little tighter than normal. Even Charles had made a smart remark about Lyle not looking as cheerful dry as he had wet. Lyle had snarled and stalked way.
No, Christmas couldn’t go by fast enough for him. He was living for the new year. Surely he and Cass could sort something out? Find a way they could be together? If he had to leave Heatherglen and follow her all over the world, then so be it.
Now he was doing his duty as the doctor on call at the Christmas-tree lighting in the village square. He remained on the outside of the crowd around the huge tree. It was dark except for the interior lights of the businesses that surrounded the square.
As soon as he was no longer needed he would slip away to his cottage, even though he found no solace there. His home held too many memories of Cass. Their tree still stood in the living room. More than once he’d thought of taking it down but he couldn’t bring himself to do it despite the fact it was a daily reminder of Cass.
Lyle stuffed his hands in his coat pockets and focused on Charles giving his Laird of Heatherglen annual Christmas speech. It was the only time Lyle smiled because he was well aware of how much Charles disliked being in the spotlight.
A movement in front of him and to the right caught Lyle’s attention. Cass? He shook his head. For him she was like the ghost of Heatherglen. More than once he had walked around a corner and thought he’d glimpsed her. Or walked by the lounge and heard her voice. Each time he’d had to calm his rapid heartbeat as disappointment had set in. He had to remind himself she was in America.
He had laid out a plan, one he would adhere to. She would have the space and time she needed to think, and process what she wanted. Lyle was determined to give her that, even if it killed him. In January he would go after her. From there they would figure out what their future together would look like.
The person continued toward him. Lyle narrowed his eyes in the hope of seeing better. Despite his efforts not to let his heart race or hold his breath in anticipation, it didn’t work. Still, in the dim light he couldn’t make out any facial features.
It was a woman. She came nearer. Her walk was so much like Cass’s. She held herself just as Cass did. Was his mind playing tricks on him?
Finally, she stepped close enough that he could see a scarf around her neck and a hat on her head like the one Cass had bought from his mother. Lyle remained still, sure she was a figment of his imagination.
It wasn’t until she said, “Hello, Lyle,” that he let himself believe and breathe. His heart raced as if he were running. It was Cass! She’d come back. Was really here. Unable to move, he stood there in disbelief.
She closed the distance between them. “Lyle?”
He put one foot in front of the other and grabbed her, pulling her against his chest. Lifting her off the ground, he was rewarded with a sigh from her as her arms tightly circled his neck. Sometime later, Lyle let her slide down his body and he stepped back. The last thing he want to do was scare her off. “Cass, is it really you?”
“Yes.”
“Are you okay? Is your leg okay?” He gave her a searching look.
“I’m fine.” There was a smile in her voice. “I just forgot something.”
“Forgot something?” Now he sounded like an idiot. His hands shook in his eagerness to touch her. He shoved them in his pockets.
“Yes. You.”
“Me?”
She watched him closely with a look of uncertainty. “Yeah, you. I was wondering if we could have that conversation about compromise you suggested.”
“I’d like that. A lot.” He pulled her to him again and kissed her with all the pent-up emotion he’d had to hold in check. It was a long and deep kiss.
The roar of the crowd broke them apart. They gave each other a startled look, then grinned. The cheer had been for the Christmas tree being lit.
Lyle looked at her beautiful, much-loved face. “I’m finished here. Where’re you staying?”
“I was going to stay somewhere in the village, unless I had a better offer.” Cass grinned.
“You have one now. Where are your bags?” Lyle looked around.
“At the airport, I hope. Long story that I don’t want to talk about now.”
Smiling, he took her hand and hurried her to where his car was parked. They needed to get away before people started talking to them. He held Cass’s hand as much as the drive to his cottage would allow, afraid if he lost contact she would disappear.
As he helped her out of the car, he pulled her to him again, inhaling deeply and filling his head with her scent. “You have no idea how I’ve missed you.”
* * *
A flutter like birds taking off filled Cass’s middle. She looked at Lyle’s handsome face. The one she had missed so much. “I’m glad.”
; “Glad?” Lyle sounded incredulous.
“Yes, I was afraid you wouldn’t talk to me.” She watched him for a reaction.
“Are you kidding? I’m in love with you, Cass. Nothing will ever change that.”
“In love with me?” So this was what it felt like to have everything she’d ever dreamed of.
“What did you think I meant when I asked you to stay here with me?”
She lifted a shoulder in a shrug and let it fall. “I don’t know. I had so much stuff going on in my head I wasn’t sure what you meant.”
His hands went to her shoulders. “Cass, I wouldn’t have asked you to stay with me unless I meant forever.”
“I should’ve known that. I should’ve heard you out. I was scared. Of myself and what you wanted.”
“Come inside. We’ll discuss this out of the cold. I want you to be warm and comfortable when I explain how much I love and want you.” He gave her a quick kiss before he took her hand then pushed the car door closed.
Inside his cottage, Lyle helped her hang up her outer clothing. She took off her shoes, walked to the doorway of the living room and stopped. Their tree was still there.
“Is something wrong?” Lyle said from behind her.
She turned and smiled. “No, everything is perfect. I missed you and your cottage.”
“I hope it was me more.” There was still an unsure look in his eyes.
Cass went up on her toes and kissed him. “It was you. Almost all you.”
When they separated, he called over his shoulder as he walked to the kitchen, “I’ll make us some tea. We need to talk.”
She liked the sound of that. They did. She needed to apologize and tell him how she felt. It was time to stop worrying about woulda, coulda, shoulda and try living. When she was around Lyle she wanted to live. She was happy. Blissfully so.
A few minutes later he offered her a mug of tea. Instead of sitting beside her, Lyle chose the chair. Cass couldn’t help but pout. Maybe he was still mad at her.
Highland Doc's Christmas Rescue Page 16