The alien—or rather sirein, as he called himself—was nowhere to be found.
Nerida stood at the entrance to her living quarters with a long cloth hanging limp in her hands. Staring out onto the empty deck, she wondered if he had decided to leave after all, or if she had imagined his presence altogether.
She didn’t think she had such a poor grasp on her sanity to have imagined the events of the last few days, but there was a niggling worry in the back of her mind that she had already spent too much time alone. Tales of madness from those who got separated from their pods were a harsh warning, and a risk she had chosen to accept when she fled.
Forcing herself forward, even if it meant confirming her fears, her footsteps sounded loud to her ears as she walked out onto the deck. A length of woven material flapped loudly in the breeze, but there was no other sound.
“Ji’wa?” she called out.
The hiss of sea spray hitting the hull of her boat was her only reply for several minutes, and her heart dropped in dismay.
“Ji’wa? Are you out here?” she called out again, her voice louder and carrying a slight tremor of worry in it.
Her breathing felt erratic. Perfect. I’m losing my mind then.
Nerida dragged a weary hand down her face. Nothing else to do then but turn off the gravitational anchor and move on. Although the anchor was weaker when not near an island, the sea had been calm enough overnight that the boat hadn’t drifted much. She was still on course.
Nerida turned to head over to the steering cabin when the boat vibrated with a familiar scraping against the side.
An instinctive trepidation rose despite the relief she felt. She hadn’t been imagining things. She wasn’t going crazy. That certainty filled her as Ji’wa pulled himself easily over the railing, water streaming off his scaled body. Due to his horns, his hair remained away from his face, so that even freshly risen from the water he looked sleek and graceful.
His eyes met hers, and a soft smile curved his lips.
“You called for me?”
“Ah, yes,” she murmured, flushing. Should she admit that his absence made her question her sanity? She cleared her throat. “I was preparing to head out. I didn’t want to accidentally leave you behind if you still wanted to accompany me.”
His smile widened ever so slightly, but he nodded in agreement. “I thank you. It would have been a little tiring to have to catch up again after only one day. But do not be too concerned, I was not far.”
Her breath left in her a rush, and she laughed nervously at the intensity in his gaze as he spoke to her.
“Oh… well, okay. That’s fine. I wasn’t worried, though. I mean, don’t think you have to stick close for my sake,” she added with an awkward laugh. “I’ll be okay. I’ve become accustomed to being out here on my own, so it will hardly break me.”
Never mind that she had been questioning the state of her mind only a few minutes earlier. Nothing to see there.
For fuck’s sake, she was acting like a nervous sixteen-year-old on her first day of her allowances. Except that this was so much better than the painfully sick way she had felt. These were the sort of nervous bubbles of excitement that she should have felt then if Erik hadn’t been so repulsive.
Ji’wa regarded her quietly. He inclined his head in understanding, even if something sparked and heated within his eyes.
Nerida tucked back a couple of braids that fell in front of her face with one hand. “Okay then, since we seem to have that settled… let’s get going.” She shoved the long, woven shawl in his direction. “Here. If you’re going to stay, you might as well cover up.”
He grinned as he accepted it, and she spun away, almost tripping in her haste. There was a sound of moving fabric, and then his feet padded behind with muffled thumps, which just increased her awareness of him with every step. Although he fell into step behind her, she could still feel the heat of his eyes on her.
Was he watching her? She recalled whispering under a blanket with Ioina when they were still girls. Nerida had been seven and Ioina thirteen. Ioina’s older sister had reached the age of allowances and filled her ears with the world of men, how they liked to watch the women’s bodies as they walked. Even though she had her own intended, she had taken great pleasure enticing the men with her newfound sensuality. A woman could attract a man with the movement of her hips alone, according to Shanna.
Nerida swallowed nervously. Was she giving out signals? With her desperate avoidance of Erik, she was woefully unaccustomed to being around a man alone. Was an alien male even really a man? Perhaps they had entirely different signals of interest.
She almost stumbled at the thought, her nerves stampeding through her. She just wasn’t going to take any chances. With focused concentration on every step, Nerida tried not to sway her hips at all as she walked. Her steps felt stiff and jerky, but she congratulated herself for at least not doing anything that looked inviting as she strode across the deck.
She was so focused on her walk as she approached the cabin that she nearly ran into the doorframe. She turned at the last minute so she only hip-checked it and grunted at the stab of pain.
Gods, please… don’t let him have seen that.
As she stepped behind the wheel and pressed the switch to deactivate the anchor, she cast a sidelong glance toward the Sirein. He stood at the entrance, leaning against the frame exactly where she hit it, his arms crossed over his chest, the long red shawl wrapped snugly around his lean hips, the color complementing his fins. His smile widened, revealing several fangs on both sides of his upper and lower teeth.
“You seem a little off-balance, a’sana,” he observed in a melodious, deep, silky voice. “I wonder why that is. Do I make you nervous?”
Heat crawled up her cheeks again, and she pressed her lips together.
“This is a new situation for me. I’m not sure how to feel or react,” she replied tightly.
To her surprise, he gave her a lopsided grin that was almost equally adorable as it was charming. Behind it, however, she was surprised to see a hint of vulnerability as he dropped his arms to his side.
“It might surprise you to know that this is new for me as well. I never expected to be in this position, though, and so for me this is also an exciting adventure. I am a little frightened of doing something wrong that might scare you.”
Her brow furrowed. “Really? Why put yourself through all of it then?”
His expression softened, and slowly he stepped forward, his large body gradually filling the small cabin as he approached. He stopped a couple feet away, his hand extending slightly before stopping mid-air.
“May I touch you?” he murmured.
A shiver stole through her, but she tightened her jaw and shrugged as if it was inconsequential. “Yeah. Just keep your hands in neutral territory. You know, stay away from all sexual zones.”
A smile split his lips, his eyes heating, but he nodded in agreement. “Yes, of course.”
She stiffened slightly and return his nod briskly. “Well, okay then… Go ahead already.”
Nerida wondered exactly where he would touch her. On the occasions where she and Erik had been in close enough proximity, he liked to wrap around his arm around her so that his fingers would brush the side of her breast, or place his hand on her hip where it seemed to slip a little too freely around until she managed to find a reason to escape him. She eyed Ji’wa, conflicting messages within her. Lean into his touch or run away?
He very gently threaded his fingers through her braids, his yellow gaze softening, his slit pupils expanding into narrow diamonds. A rolling hum vibrated in his throat. His regard shifted from her hair to her eyes. He stared for a moment in fascination.
“So beautiful. So unlike my kind, but beautiful all the same. Your eyes contain so many colors, shifting among them, and your hair is brightened by the sun… yet nothing is as beautiful as your strength and spirit that I witnessed from afar. I am completely in awe of you just for existing in this
world, a bright spot amid the terror.” He grinned, and Nerida stifled a chuckle but couldn’t stop the smile from stretching across her face. “I am here not because it is some trial I must endure, but because I can’t imagine a better place to be—even if it is an uncertain path.”
Nerida pressed her lips together and battled back the pressure of emotion in her throat. She expelled a slow breath, but when she spoke, she was certain that her voice wavered with emotion.
“Fair enough. Let’s get moving. Do you want to learn to operate the boat? It might be good to have help, if you’re going to be around and all…”
“I would be delighted, thank you.”
Ji’wa’s eyes fastened on her as she began to walk him through the process of starting up the engines and activating the solar sail to gather energy through the first part of the day while the sun was at its zenith.
Chapter 14
To Nerida’s surprise, Ji’wa was more helpful than she had guessed he would be. He seemed to figure his way about the rigging and operations of her boat in short order and was eager to help. For three days, he had been a largely silent presence on the ship, absorbing everything—and watching her. He didn’t offer to touch her again, and she found that she strangely missed that closeness.
Yet everything he did was with such intensity that it seared through her. Even his softly worded acceptance of his food, or the way he hung back but was always nearby and ready to offer his assistance, made her skin prickle with awareness. He just seemed to be waiting… waiting for her, eager to please her. That was how they were in their current position with Ji’wa dangling twenty-eight feet off the deck.
She squinted up at where Ji’wa clung to the high mast of the solar sail. He had been up for there for hours, accessing the various ports that ran up the length of the mast. He currently dangled by the top of the retracted sail, both hands busy at work while his legs and tail kept him in place. The flexible length of his tail was wrapped twice around the width of the mast. He had the access panel open and was studying it with a frown.
“Do you have any idea what you’re doing?” she shouted up at him.
Perhaps a bit late to be thinking about that. She should have said something hours ago. The last thing she needed was more damage.
There was little doubt in her mind that the damage had to have occurred during the storm. It was part of the risk of not lashing down in a seasonal shelter. She should have known that it was too good to be true when everything came online. Sure, the solar sails had been a little slower to deploy, but it hadn’t seemed particularly problematic. At least not until a few days ago.
She had been a little concerned to see an error report in one of the minor compartments when she initialized the sails, but it hadn’t interrupted the power cycling. Nerida had made a note to have it checked when she moved into the southern sea. She had already planned for a supply stop at the floating city of New Delos, but she had hoped that it could have waited until after the worst of the winter storms had concluded.
That had been the plan until that afternoon when she woke and the power levels read at staggeringly low levels, despite being open much of the day while they made their way south. It seemed that she had no choice but to make her way there immediately—if they could get the solar sail operating.
New Delos was the oldest of the floating cities, an experimental city during the early days of colonization, named in a tongue-in-cheek way after the holy island that roamed until it was anchored to the ocean bed. New Delos was likewise anchored, but the city itself had nothing holy about it. It was a cesspool of crime and the playground of the elite who visited the city to enjoy its amusements. Worst, rumor had it that the city was plagued by the mogma in exceptionally brutal numbers every winter after the weather turned. She only prayed that the mild sunny days would hold.
Ji’wa glanced down at her. “Theoretically, there seems to be some logic to it. It is similar to how our cities and starships collected energy. So… yes? Maybe? I am not an engineer, but I think I can get it to work temporarily.”
“How…?”
His hand lifted, and a static burst of electricity slid off his arm, zapping the panel. There was a bright flare that made Nerida shield her eyes and curse.
“Don’t break it!” she snapped. “What was that supposed to be? The alien version of smacking it with a tool?”
“Do not be ridiculous. It would do far more damage to apply physical violence to delicate machinery,” he replied as his body slid lithely down the mast.
He dropped the remaining couple of feet with his tail fin and gestured to the sail.
“I am presuming that the solar sails do not have enough power to function. If my estimates are correct, my small electric charge should initiate the sail into charging your vessel’s systems,” he added with a small smile.
Her lips pinched as she gave the sails a hard look. “I suppose that’s possible. Let me check the readings.”
Nerida walked into the steering cabin and attempted to initiate the startup sequence for the engines. She was just thankful that the power reserves for the cooling unit and interior heat had not yet failed. The systems screen flickered but gradually stabilized as it powered up. Her eyes widened as a burst of euphoria hit her. The power cells were charging!
She spun around to inform Ji’wa only to run smack into him standing directly behind her. The impact was not unlike what she imagined it would be like to be rammed by a shardon. Her breath wheezed out of her, and she lifted her eyes to find the tall male watching her, his gaze warm. Nerida pushed away, putting some distance between him and the warm fluttering within her stomach, and cleared her throat.
“It seems they’re working,” she muttered uncomfortably. “Are you going to have to do that every day?”
He cocked his head, his eyes never moving from her face. “Probably. We will do a trial run in the morning and see if the solar sails are still operating. If not, I will give them another shock start.”
“Great. I’m sure that will be wonderful for the sails.”
His lips quirked with humor. The reaction to her quip was so human that, if it weren’t for the rest of him that was definitely not, she might have believed he was a man. In any case, despite the inhuman irregularities, he really did have a nice face and mouth—and why the fuck was she even considering that? Nerida looked away immediately as embarrassment washed over her, but that did nothing to dull the heat that rushed to her cheeks. Her eyes snapped open again seconds later when she felt a light touch tickle her cheek.
Her eyes met his as his claw very gently slid down the length of her cheek, his expression fascinated.
“You have done this before. It is fascinating. I have wondered if your color change means something?”
“I suppose ‘about ready to die from embarrassment’ would be an accurate interpretation,” she retorted in attempt to make light of it.
His expression turned to horror as his hand dropped away.
“How do we make it cease?” he demanded, worry vibrating his voice in a pitch that made things around her tremble. Swallowing a laugh, she raised an eyebrow and looked around the cabin before gently ushering him out. She didn’t know if he could, if stressed enough, damage any of the delicate instruments in there, and she really didn’t want to roll the dice and find out.
“I didn’t mean literally. I mean that I’m not accustomed to all of this …you know, this,” she finished lamely as she gestured between them.
She didn’t want to put a name to it. That would make it more real, and she wasn’t ready for that. She wasn’t sure if she would ever be ready for that.
Ji’wa stepped back a little, his head cocking again as his fins raised and lowered. He appeared to be weighing something within his mind as his slit pupils very slowly expanded. It wasn’t by much, but she felt like he was truly attempting to see her fully and was reacting to whatever he was seeing.
He glanced away, his head turning to peer over his shoulder at the sola
r sail. She watched his jaw tick slightly as if he were wrestling with himself, but when he spoke, his voice was calm and even.
“Since my skill at repairing your device is minimal and temporary at best, what do you plan to do from here?”
A sigh escaped her, and she ran a hand over her braids.
“I’m already on course to New Delos, a floating city in the southern trade sea. I can resupply basic provisions from the mainland and arrange for repairs there.”
“And this place will be populated solely by humans?”
The question was so hesitant that she felt a little bad about the fact that he was going to have to endure it for a day or two while the boat was fixed.
“We had only one experience with another species a long time ago, but no others. Even that was generations ago, and there are some who don’t believe it ever happened. Only humans work and live in any of the cities,” she said. Her eyes skated over him. “With a repairman in and out of the boat, I can’t exactly leave you behind.”
His fins snapped out fast, extending to their fullest length as his nostrils flared. He met her eyes with a low growl. It was so sudden that it caught her unaware. Strangely, rather than intimidate her or make her feel trapped, she felt a bolt of lust slam through her.
“Do you really think I would stay hidden away on your vessel while you traveled alone among others? After those other humans tried to harm you? My mother would have my tail fins, and all five of my sisters too, if I allowed such. I will be at your side to make sure that no one harms you or seeks to take advantage of you,” he rumbled.
Nerida bristled at the idea that she needed protecting, but as his words sank in, she also felt a little ember of happiness glow within her. He wasn’t like her father or Erik, who didn’t let her leave the boat alone because they wanted to control her. With Ji’wa, there was nothing in what he said that was marked with any sort of sense of ownership. He just wanted to make certain she was safe. It felt good that someone cared like that.
Sirein: A Dystopian World Alien Romance Page 12