by Darrel Bird
Part 8
The plane took to the air, and as soon as it broke through the cloud, she looked down, and in the clouds she thought she could see the broken pieces of her life, a little here and a little there. Why didn't I see how shallow Rick was before this? Did this have to happen to get me to see? She had put his refusal, and excuse's for not attending church with her off on his work, but now she knew that he lacked something...and the refusal to have children? Why didn't I see?I can't put the blame on anyone, not even him, but myself. I made excuses to myself. If I had faced up to the inner warnings, I might have helped him. I am more to blame than he is!
As the plane flew above the clouds, just skimming the tops of some of them, she stared out the window while the tears ran free. What she already knew she was going to do was suicidal, yet she didn't have the power to stop. She laughed a bitter laugh deep down inside herself, what? Just stop this plane in mid air? Hold the phone girl, you are going to die, lets do this whole thing over...but there is no do over, and you know it. She imagined they would find her frozen body some day leaning against a tree where she had slept her last sleep in bliss, her finger pointing back at her, accusing her of not seeing what she should have seen.
Oh you're a card girl, they don't find frozen bodies up there where you are going, they find the bones picked clean...as Owen said, the animals will take care of it.
When she arrived in Fairbanks, she proceeded to a department store where she picked up three pairs of denim jeans, cold weather underwear, wool shirts, heavy socks, a sleeping bag and a thick blanket. In the dressing room, she changed from the thin slacks into the jeans and shirt. From there she proceeded to a sporting goods store and purchased a back pack, 2 large hunting knives, a rifle with ammo and a fur-lined parka. She also selected a few packs of trail mix. She walked up to the counter and handed the clerk the credit card.
“Going hunting?” The clerk asked.
“You might say that.” The clerk could see she didn’t want conversation, so he said nothing else as he processed the card.
At the counter, she stuffed the boots Owen had made her in the pack along with the knives, and she was ready to go.
“Could you trash this please?” She shoved the travel bag across the counter. He clerk stared at her, and a shiver went through him with no explanation as to why. She then caught a ride with a trucker who was hauling a load to Prudhoe Bay.
The miles wore on as the trucker talked about his family. The stops relieved the boredom.
A few hours after they left a stop Tessa knew they were getting close. Eventually, she interrupted the trucker's chatter.
“Can you stop up at the next bend there?”
“Sure, do you need to go to the bathroom?”
“No, I need to get out.”
“But Miss, there’s nothing out here but forests. We’re miles from any camp.”
“I know.”
“Stop the truck here please.”
“But Miss, what will you do out here?”
“I can take care of myself.”
I just told another lie, but there's no use worrying this kind man.
“Good luck miss.” The man stared at her with a bewildered look in his eyes as she thanked them for the ride and got down out of the truck cab, the truck pulled slowly away, then disappeared up around the curve in the highway, and she was alone.
Tessa walked into the bush at the same place they had come out; she didn’t think she could ever find the cabin, but she did not care. She laid the back pack down and pulled off her shoes, pulled the boots out of the pack and put them on, then got up and started making her way through the bush.
She had walked about three hundred yards when a wolf suddenly stood in her path. She recognized the dog immediately.
“Wolf, what are you doing way out here, I thought you went with Owen?”
The dog looked at her and whimpered, then turned and led her on into the Alaskan wilderness.
Part 9
Owen puttered around the cabin after he returned, but the place just wasn’t the same with the woman gone. He wondered what it was like for her in Alameda, California.
He walked to the lake and sat looking out across the water, “Life just isn’t fair, and I don’t understand it.” He thought about sticking the Winchester in his mouth and pulling the trigger. He reached for the rifle and propped the butt stock against a rock, reached down and put his finger on the trigger. The tears came then.
He arose tiredly and walked back to the cabin. He half expected the wolf to greet him at the door, but he opened the door to an empty room. The dog had deserted him on the trek back to the cabin, “Probably took up with some pack.” He said aloud.
He sat down on the floor and leaned against the cabin wall and looked at the rifle again.
I need to get the job done, must get it done. I don’t think God will be pleased with it, but I just cannot go on living without something to live for.
The emotional turmoil pulled him into an exhausted sleep, and he dreamed he saw Tessa out along the lake picking wild flowers.
The sun glinted off her hair as she turned to smile at him.
The door creaked open; he opened his eyes and there stood Tessa behind the wolf. He stood up, “Tessa?”
“I came back. I didn’t know where else to go Owen. Wolf guided me back.”
He rushed to her and held her close. He kissed her gently then looked over her shoulder at the snow flakes that had begun to drift toward the ground.
“Looks like an early winter.”
“Uh huh.”
Wolf whined and settled down into his corner. Outside a long lonely wail and then an answering wail, then a chorus of wails surrounded the cabin. Wolf looked at the couple, yawned and slowly closed his eyes. His parents were both home once again and he was safe and content.
The end