by Nina Raine
LACHLAN (a touch of weariness). Oh… I did that series… I thought it was going to be really interesting, way more interesting than it actually turned out… and…
ANNA. About superpowers?
LACHLAN. Sort of… aliens… anyway… it’s done now. I can stop working out. Thank God. And… I’m just reading this…
He gestures.
Anna Karenina… cos they want to see me for Levin…?
ANNA. Oh wow! Oh, I love that character, that’s an amazing part… And you wouldn’t have to work out, he’s a fattie…
LACHLAN. – Yeah…!
ANNA. Gosh well best of luck… I should really re-read it…
Yeah…
Yeah…
Erm…
Yeah…
So, Lachlan –
I know this is a bit out of the blue…
LACHLAN. No, no, it’s lovely to see you, I’m really glad you called.
ANNA. But erm, I’m, um…
To her surprise she is suddenly close to tears but the voice and words that come out are oddly formal.
Erm, I’ve come to a time in my life when,
erm, I realise that I really want children, well, a child, and,
um, the thing is I’m nearly forty, and I’m in a situation where
I’m single,
and so, I’m, having to think of a different way to do it,
and I thought of you.
Beat. She can’t hold in the tears any longer.
Sorry… sorry… I’m sorry…
She cries for a few seconds
LACHLAN.…No no, it’s… fine…
She manages to regain control and continues.
ANNA.…I have no idea if you’re single or not, or what’s going on in your life, but I’ve always really liked you although I don’t know you particularly well. And, I just thought I would ask in case it might be something… you might… be…
Her voice has started to shake and she has to stop again.
Sorry…
LACHLAN. No really, Anna, it’s fine…
ANNA. You’ve just always seemed so nice, and I’ve been trying to think who to ask and I don’t know why but you came into my head and so I thought the only way would be to ask. I know it sounds crazy.
LACHLAN. No, I understand, I understand.
ANNA. It sounds crazy.
LACHLAN. It doesn’t, it doesn’t sound crazy at all.
ANNA.…Sorry, I don’t know why I keep crying… It’s all a bit intense for a Wednesday afternoon… something about having to say it all out loud… I didn’t know it would be so… You’re the first person I’ve asked.
LACHLAN. No, I really respect you for asking. It’s a very brave thing to ask.
Beat.
And actually, Anna, you know, I do understand, cos, in many ways, you’re right. It is something I should be thinking about.
Beat.
This has been a weird year. I am single actually. I broke up with my girlfriend, I really thought she was the one – I don’t know what it is, but anyway, I always seem to go out with people who lie.
Anyway, we broke up, and the other thing that happened this year is that my sister died.
ANNA. Oh my God, I’m so sorry!
LACHLAN. It’s okay.
ANNA. I had no idea.
LACHLAN. It’s fine, I haven’t talked to many people about it. I’ve been waiting for it to happen in many ways.
ANNA. What – was she –
LACHLAN. She committed suicide.
ANNA.…Oh my God…
LACHLAN. It’s okay, I’ve always, for a long time now, we lived together, I always dreaded, you know, that one day I would walk in on her… anyway yeah, it was me that found the body.
ANNA. Oh, Lachlan, my God, I can’t imagine what that must have been like…
LACHLAN. Well.
Beat.
It wasn’t quite clear if she… we don’t really know if it was suicide, she might have OD’d by mistake.
It’s okay, I’m much better than I was.
ANNA. I can’t… um… Lachlan, how awful… I just… can’t… I mean the only…
Beat.
The only thing I can think to say is that, um, my mum said it helped, seeing her mum’s body when she died, but of course that was completely different.
Um because, she could see that the spirit wasn’t there any more in the body. And the fact that she could see that it was separate to the body made her realise the spirit might live on. She says she felt her mum’s spirit around her for weeks afterwards. Um, in the house.
Beat.
LACHLAN. Well, what I know from seeing her body is there is no life after death. That’s what I knew when I saw it. For sure.
There wasn’t anything positive to understand from it.
Silence.
ANNA. I’m so sorry.
LACHLAN. No… it’s…
Beat.
I’m just beginning to come out the other side.
Silence.
…But,
…it did make me think – a lot – about… my life, and, so, I understand your whole – how you must be feeling.
ANNA. Christ, I mean – my – !
It’s – forget I ever –
I really don’t want to pile more onto your plate… shoulders…
LACHLAN. No, Anna.
ANNA. I feel embarrassed for even mentioning it now.
LACHLAN. No, don’t. Don’t.
Pause.
Listen, Anna, I think maybe what we should do, is hang out and see each other again and just get to know each other a bit better.
Beat.
Maybe, go to the cinema or a gallery or something. And just see what happens.
Beat.
ANNA. Wow, Lachlan.
Really?
Thank you so much for not – not just dismissing it.
LACHLAN. No. It was a brave thing for you to ask.
Beat. He starts to get up. Smiles.
You know, as I was walking here, I wondered why you wanted to see me.
Beat.
I thought you were going to offer me a part.
Scene Eight
39 + 2
The little GIRL lies quietly in bed, ANNA sits reading aloud to her.
ANNA. ‘What good luck!
Ned got a letter that said,
“Please come to a surprise party.”
What bad luck!
The party was in Florida and he was in New York.
What good luck!
A friend lent him an airplane.
What bad luck!
The motor exploded…’
The little GIRL has fallen asleep but ANNA reads on. Fade.
Scene Nine
39 + 3
ANNA sits in a café with DANNY. DANNY is South London and a bit ‘street’ in his mannerisms, he is tucking in to a plate of food.
DANNY. Nah nah, I’m vegetarian – you didn’t know that?!
ANNA. No!
DANNY. For years, man! Yeah, when I went to Argentina, mate, I tasted the beef there and I was like, if that is what beef is supposed to taste like, I ain’t eating our shit no more. No hardship believe me, to give it up.
ANNA.…Don’t you get a bit – anaemic?
DANNY. Not at all, darling, not at all. No. You don’t need it, I’m telling you, you don’t need it, it’s a big con. Make yourself a nice green juice in the morning, you’re set up for the day –
ANNA. How’s the music?
DANNY. It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s just keeping going with everything else, you know what I mean? Three gigs last weekend, by Sunday I was on the sofa, had to knock out a few zeds – five hours later –
His phone rings, he picks it up.
Hey.
Yeah well it depends on Kush.
Well look, mate, lemme see if Kush is available.
All right.
Laters. I’m with a gorgeous friend here so I’ve got to go.
ANNA smirks weakly. H
e puts the phone down.
We’ve got an amazing line-up, you should come check it out, next Saturday. Kush, Son Yambu, Baba Suvaku – you should come!
ANNA. I will, I will.
DANNY. But, bubba, how are you doing, I want to know what’s going on in Anna world, it’s been too long!
ANNA. Yeah! Well…
DANNY. Cos we keep playing telephone tennis, babe, I’m sorry about that, fucking mad, first there were the gigs, also I’ve been trying to sell my flat –
ANNA. Oh no! How’s that going?
DANNY. Well, you know how it is, you know how it is. But how are you?
ANNA. Well –
DANNY. People say they’re going to buy it, then they say they’re not going to buy it, la la la. And there’s a bit of a time pressure cos after this I’m off to LA, yeah I’m doing what my manager tells me to at last, so I’m really glad we managed to hook up – but how are you, babe?
ANNA. Okay well listen, Danny, the reason I kept calling you is a bit of a weird one and like I said, I didn’t really want to ask you about it over the phone –
DANNY. No that’s right, that’s right, you did say that, so yeah, Anna, I’ll be honest, I did wonder –
ANNA. Okay. So. Danny. Just listen a sec.
Beat.
The thing is, Danny,
I need to have a baby. And, erm, you’re a very talented guy and –
DANNY. Ohhhh! – You want me to be your babyfather!!
Beat. ANNA is a bit taken aback.
ANNA. Well… Yeah. (You got there quite fast…)
DANNY. That’s very interesting, that’s very interesting.
ANNA. Um because –
DANNY. Why did you think of me?
Beat.
ANNA. Well –
DANNY. Cos interestingly, interestingly, someone asked me about that before, yeah years ago, this girl. I said no.
But you know it’s very interesting, why did you think of me?
Beat.
ANNA. Well, Danny, I suppose I think you’re very talented, you’re very, you know, talented, and I think it would be a good mix. We would make an amazing kid.
You’re the first person I’ve asked.
He preens slightly.
The first person I thought of.
I haven’t asked anyone else.
DANNY. Hmm. Hmmm. Hmmmm.
I’ll be honest. It’s interesting. You’ve interested me, Anna, because this is fucking real, you know what I mean? You’ve asked me something real.
ANNA. Well, thanks.
He pushes the food around his plate for a moment, thinking.
DANNY.…But is it romantic, is that what you’re saying?
ANNA. No, no, that’s not what I’m asking.
DANNY. Because we had that thing…
ANNA. Yeah I know, but I thought I’d just take that out of the equation.
DANNY. No but you want the whole package, don’t you.
ANNA. No, no, I don’t. I’m just asking –
DANNY. No but you do. I’m not talking about me. Be honest now. In an ideal world, I’m not saying with me, but you want to be with someone, don’t you, and be a family.
ANNA. Well in the end I want to end up with someone but that’s not what I’m asking you for.
DANNY. Okay but let’s just talk about this.
Beat.
Don’t you think a kid needs a full-on dad?
ANNA.…Well I suppose in an ideal world, yes, but there are so many ways to –
DANNY. No no no but listen. Don’t you want a full-on dad for the kid.
ANNA. Honestly, it’s whatever you would want it to be.
DANNY. But I dunno, the thing is, I think a kid needs a full-on dad, I think if you’re going to do it, if I was going to do it, I should be a full-on dad, otherwise it’s not fair on the kid. That’s the way it should be.
ANNA. But Danny, if that’s what you feel, then I don’t have a problem with that, that’s good. That’s great!
DANNY. Aha, you see, that’s what you really want, isn’t it!!
Beat.
ANNA. What?
DANNY. That’s what you really want deep down, Anna! A full-on dad!
ANNA. Erm –
DANNY. – And the thing is I don’t feel I can do that.
Beat.
ANNA. Oh.
DANNY. No, no no.
ANNA. Right. – But I’m not asking –
DANNY. No, I don’t want to do that. Not at the moment. In fact I don’t know if I could ever do that.
ANNA. Okay… Well… what about if you weren’t – a full-on –
DANNY. No, I see where you’re going with this Anna, and no, because a dad should be full-on. I don’t think it’s right to be any other way.
ANNA. Okay…
DANNY. But I can’t commit to doing full-on. I can’t commit to that. No.
ANNA. Riiight…
Beat.
(Drily.) You know that’s pretty watertight logic you’ve got going there, Danny, isn’t it.
But DANNY is in his own thoughts.
DANNY (dreamily).…It’s weird because I know I’ve got to have kids and settle down one day but it’s a bit like going to the dentist. I know I’ve got to do it but…
ANNA. You don’t really want to?
DANNY. Yeah…
Beat.
But you know what, at least you’re fucking real, Anna.
At least you’re asking me something fucking real.
I tell you what, bubba, I’ll think about it. I’ll really think about it.
Beat.
Do you want to get a drink?
Scene Ten
39 + 4
ANNA stands in a beautiful apartment with
CORIN. CORIN.…Here… it’s actually Chinese…
He pours her some tea from a beautiful cast-iron pot.
ANNA. Oh look at that pot…!
She looks around
It’s so beautiful here…
CORIN. Well, yes I’ll show you the other floors in a minute – no I’m not sure how long you’re meant to brew it for…
He peers at the tea.
I got it when I was filming with Woody…
ANNA. Oh really…!
…How was he?
CORIN. Wonderful. A real pleasure to direct.
ANNA. You didn’t ever disagree?
CORIN. No, no…
Only once… Silly really… it was a scene that I felt, well, you know his humour, very improvised, but there was one scene, you know, about the Holocaust…
ANNA. Oh… yes…?
CORIN. I felt it needed to be played without all that… zaniness… and improvised silly small talk, and there we were trying to do it again and again… and it just felt so horribly phoney. And fake… and I had to stop and I said I I I just can’t do this; can you please just play the scene. Cut all those jokes, cut right to the chase really. To his credit, Woody backed right off and just played the scene.
ANNA. Great.
Beat.
CORIN. Mmm. Yes.
Pause. They drink their tea.
ANNA. Oh yes it’s delicious…
Erm…
So, I don’t know quite what Daphne told you…
Beat.
CORIN. Well, she told me a little.
ANNA. Well, it feels very odd to be having this conversation with you but anyway.
She looks down into her tea for a second.
Well, Daphne said to me you’d been saying that it was something you had been thinking about. That you’d never wanted to before but now you’ve got to a certain stage and suddenly it was something that interested you.
CORIN. Yes.
ANNA. Well, you’re the first person I’ve spoken to, and, obviously what I want, what would be exciting, is to do it with someone interesting, someone talented. Obviously you’re both of those things.
Erm, I know you’re also famous and that makes it difficult.
And I wanted to make it clear it
’s not about financial support, if it made you feel more comfortable I could absolutely sign something saying I wouldn’t try to get money out of you, or whatever, that it would all be confidential, or whatever you wanted.
The point is for me, what excites me is the idea of making a baby with someone interesting and talented.
CORIN. Yes.
Silence.
ANNA tries not to fidget. CORIN sips, puts down his tea.
How does it, how did you think it might happen?
ANNA. Um – do you mean – the –
The?
Beat.
Well, I’ve already gone a certain way, found a clinic, you can go to this clinic.
Registered as a couple which is much quicker, erm –
or, you can go to them and register as a sperm donor… so,
um, you can do it in many ways.
Beat.
Or –
I suppose –
We could always, um,
Could always do it the, the er natural way.
CORIN flinches slightly, ANNA immediately regrets this comment.
There are many ways, there are many ways. Skin a cat.
Pause.
CORIN. Yes.
Pause.
Well as Daphne told you – she’s right,
I am interested.
I am interested in the idea.
I do feel for you, Anna, I feel for your situation.
ANNA. Oh brilliant.
CORIN. And it’s odd because as I was saying to Daphne, I’ve actually just been reading Knausgaard and I got to a passage, I was reading it on the plane on the way here actually and it’s the passage where he describes the birth of his child and I found it incredibly moving.
ANNA. Really…
CORIN. I was in tears.
But the thing is I’ve got to be really clear here.
ANNA. Okay.
CORIN. Firstly.
I know I don’t want to be a father.
Beat.
ANNA. Oh…?
CORIN. Yes. People always say oh but you will you will, but I know quite clearly I don’t, I really do know myself.
Beat.
ANNA. Right then I don’t think I quite –
CORIN. So if I were to do this then the child could never know I was the father.
Pause.
ANNA. Ah.
CORIN. And that might be fraught with difficulty as we do know some of the same people, we could end up at some garden party and there you are with a toddler and there I am – you see what I mean?
ANNA.…Yes.
CORIN. And I know your parents, that’s a whole other thing.