Scalding Hot Chocolate
Adulting Not Allowed
Book One
Jaliza A. Burwell
Scalding Hot Chocolate
Copyright © 2019 by Jaliza A. Burwell
All rights reserved.
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
Copy Edited by Bookends Editing
Proofread by Becky Edits
Book Cover Design by Jaliza A. Burwell
Printed in the United States of America
To the kiddies we adults keep locked up inside ourselves.
Let’s let them free.
Let’s live, love, and laugh.
Table of Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Author’s Note
Next in the Series
From the Author
Stalker Links
Chapter One
When the morning started off with a six-year-old screaming bloody murder, I knew it was going to be a bad day. Children have that special way of sounding like they’re dying when they yell, and it sounded nothing like my alarm clock.
I jumped to my feet and threw open the door, giving me a direct line of sight to the living room where World War Three was happening.
The twin boys, Lawson and Lee, were in an all-out brawl as they battled over control of the remote. The way their teeth were pulled back, I was pretty sure biting was involved too. I shuddered, remembering the feel of Lawson’s teeth in my arm. He learned quickly not to bite me because I did bite back.
“If no one is dying, I suggest you both cut it out right now before I lock the two of you outside.”
That got their attention. They froze in mid attempt to smother each other with the throw pillows. It was a little comical as both their heads whipped my way, wide eyes meeting mine and mouths in little O shapes.
“Now, quietly play rock paper scissors to determine who wins. And no complaining if you lose. I still have twenty minutes left until my alarm goes off.”
“But, Sissy, I wanna watch Teen Titans. I always watch it in the morning,” Lawson said.
“Then you better win at rock paper scissors. Now goodnight.” I closed my door, ignoring the rumbling coming from the other side and jumped back into bed.
After throwing a pillow over my head, I pretended I’d get to sleep until my alarm went off. Instead, I listened to the two of them bicker. My apartment needed better walls.
I looked at my nightstand, the early morning light reflecting off the metal picture frame. It was last year’s holiday photo of Mandy, my dead half-sister; Lawson and Lee, her twins; and me. My heart ached as I took in my sister’s bright smiling face, and my gut twisted with grief. I blinked back the urge to bawl my eyes out. She’d died in July. Fourth of July to be exact. I’d had the twins in my care ever since.
Becoming a person responsible for children was never the game plan. Ever.
“Miss you,” I whispered to the frame. “And your sons are being buttheads again.”
My alarm went off, reminding me I still had a whole day to get through. I hit the snooze button and turned onto my back to stare at the boring white ceiling, no longer able to look at my sister.
“Today will be a good day. Today will be fun.” I repeated the words to myself over and over until there was no choice but to believe it.
Yeah. Today was going to be fun.
My alarm screeched at me again, and this time I turned it off to start the day.
Right when I was going to get out of bed, my phone beeped to let me know I’d gotten a message. The only person who would send me one this early was Felix, my boyfriend.
And I was right.
His question was simple, but with all the bickering we had been doing lately, it meant a lot. Hot chocolate today?
My response was quick. Depends. Are we still fighting?
No. I promise.
Then, yes! I sent along an obnoxious amount of emojis before crawling out of bed. Okay, today was definitely going to be fun.
It turned out Lawson did in fact win and got to watch his Teen Titans while Lee flipped through a picture book about airplanes. I got them ready and then out the door, my stomach flipping with butterflies at the thought of meeting with Felix later that day. We had our own meeting spot at Flour’s, where they served the best hot chocolate in Boston.
My mind was deep in the bliss of good hot chocolate in my future when my phone rang. I glanced at the school where Lawson and Lee disappeared and then answered.
“Maddie Daniels speaking. How may I help?”
“Madison?” a female voice responded.
“Crap.” I winced, realizing my mistake. I should have checked who was calling before answering.
“Is that how you talk to me?” Olivia Hansen asked. The stepmonster.
“Sorry, you took me by surprise. You don’t ever call me, so I think I’m in shock.”
“Yes, well that will be changing. I’m calling because I’d like to set up dinner with my grandchildren.”
I blinked, trying to figure out what she was talking about. “What?”
“The twins. I’d like to set up dinner to meet with them.”
Biting my lip cleared my mind, and I built up my armor in my mind, ready to go to war. That was how it was with Olivia. A battle. All too often, I lost. But things weren’t the same anymore. I had people to protect.
“I’ll consider it if you know their names.”
The phone made a weird noise as if it got windy on the other side. “Is this a joke?”
“I’m not laughing, so no, it isn’t. You never met them. Not even at the funeral. You’ve never wanted anything to do with them.”
She was silent long enough that I considered hanging up on her. Would serve her right too. “They are all I have left of Miranda. They’re my grandchildren. I really wish to meet Lawson and Lee.”
I pulled the phone away briefly to stare at it. Was I talking with the right person? Yup. Stepmonster was scrawled across the screen.
“…please?” She was still talking when I put the phone back to my ear. “I want to get to know the children that Miranda loved dearly. I need that connection.”
My heart twisted. I got it, and while I wish I could hang up on her and pretend she didn’t exist, it would be cruel to the twins. They deserved to meet their grandparents. They’d asked about them a couple of times in the past. Mandy never knew how to respond, and neither did I. How did a person tell children that their grandparents wanted nothing to do with them?
“Fine.” My answer was sandpaper on my tongue.
�
��Thank you. How about Friday evening? I have some business Friday, so we can meet then.”
“That will work,” I replied.
“Excellent. I’ll text you the dinner details once I make a reservation. See you then, Madison.”
After she hung up, I stared at the phone like it was a monster about to eat me.
Did that really happen?
An alarm on my phone went off, letting me know I needed to get my butt moving or I’d be late for a meeting. Without all the alarms on my phone, I’d be running around lost and confused. It kept me on track. Pushing thoughts of dinner with Olivia out of my mind, I drove away from the school. Still, the heavy feeling persisted low in my stomach, and if a bathroom had been nearby, I’d probably have been in there throwing up.
The rest of the morning and early afternoon flew by quickly as I worked as a freelance financial advisor. Before I knew it, I was standing in front of Felix with my chocolate goodness warming my cold hands. The weather had been on the cooler side these last few days.
“Hi.” I smiled at him. Lifting my drink to my face, I took in a deep breath, inhaling the richness and sweetness. The smell wrapped around me and cleansed all the worries that had been poking at me all day. I still struggled with pushing Olivia out of my mind, and there was the Friday dinner that was hovering over my head.
“Hey, Maddie.” He returned my smile with his charming one, his dark eyes roaming over me, taking in my outfit for the day. Appreciation slipped into his expression, widening my smile. I was obsessed with tulle skirts. The tutu style screamed of my childish side. Today, I wore a sky blue one with a white sweater, and even managed to work my hair into an Elsa-like braid. Watching the movie last night had motivated me.
It was nice to see Felix smiling. Neither of us had been doing that these last couple of months. Things had become tough with me taking in my twin munchkins. Before the death of my sister, we had been in sync, but lately, we’d been dancing to different tunes. It was like suddenly, life began moving to K-Pop music and while I was able to adapt, Felix was still stuck listening to older music.
“You look pretty,” he said, and my smile widened as I ate up his compliment. Those were almost as rare as his smiles. I put my fall coat over the back of the seat and sat down. Felix was gorgeous with intense dark brown eyes, tan skin, black hair, and scruff along his jaw that always tickled when we kissed or he blew raspberries into my neck. He was fun and had made our relationship exciting.
“Thank you.” I fixed the skirt around me to make sure I wasn’t flashing anyone. “I only have a few minutes before I need to go pick up the twins.”
His eyes dulled as his smile slipped away.
Frowning, I asked, “What’s wrong?” All the giddiness I felt from being around him fizzled at his expression. Dread filled my stomach, and suddenly, I wasn’t looking forward to drinking my hot chocolate. I knew that look. Grew up with it.
Regret.
The very same look I saw in my dad’s eyes every time he decided to look my way.
He sighed and played with his cup, not meeting my eyes.
“Felix,” I said, voice harder.
He finally met my gaze and licked his lips—a nervous habit of his when he had news he was hesitant to share. After coming to some kind of conclusion, he blew out a hard breath. “You know, dating you and loving you has been lively. I love that you enjoy going to parks and being silly. I adore the childish side of you. I like spending time with you. But they weren’t part of the deal.” His voice was so low, I wasn’t sure I’d heard him correctly. By his somber expression, I had. I couldn’t deny where this was heading. I clamped down on all the emotions trying to surge through me. He deserved the benefit of the doubt before I jumped down his throat.
“Just say it,” I said. I winced when my words came out thicker than I wanted. Could I choke on nothing? It felt like I was about to choke.
Sighing, Felix took a long swig of his coffee. “I didn’t agree to take care of three children.”
“There’s only two of them.”
“We know that isn’t really true. Dammit, you act like you’re a five-year-old half the time.”
“You didn’t seem to mind. In fact, if I recall, you get extra hard whenever I call you Dad—”
“Stop!” He stood up, the rattling of his chair drawing the attention of those surrounding us. His face was red with anger.
I smiled up at him cruelly.
“Or when I wore that frilly—”
“I said stop!” Felix banged the table, and I jumped, my heart pounding. I’d never seen him this angry before, and fear clogged my throat.
Felix glanced around, realizing he was drawing a crowd. His face reddened with a mixture of anger and embarrassment. Grabbing his jacket, he shrugged it on, scowling at me the whole time like it was my fault it came to this point. Sighing, his expression smoothed out.
“Enough. Madison, I’m done. I like kids, I do. But I didn’t sign up for this. Taking care of you is one thing, but taking care of them wasn’t in my plans. They aren’t even yours.”
My life had been full of bitch slaps, and his words felt exactly like that. Pain dug deep into my heart. I tolerated a lot, and he hit me exactly where he knew it was going to hurt. Now it was my turn to stand up. The chair scraped back as I got to my feet. If there was one thing in my life I’d fight for, it was the twins.
“First off, that was your kink, not mine. Did I ever complain when you spanked me, or gave me those clothes? No. Why? Because I adapt. And right now, I’m adapting to the fact that you will no longer be in my life. The twins are the world to me, and I won’t let you say they aren’t worth anything.” My voice wanted to break at the end, but I forced it to stay strong. My hands were resting on the table, and I curled them into fists to help hide the shaking in my body. He knew exactly what he wanted to do when he said that.
“You can barely take care of yourself.”
“I’m twenty-five. I think I’ll be just fine without you. If you can’t accept those kids, then fine, leave. I do not need you in my life. Be free!” I shooed him with my hands.
His jaw tightened. “So that’s it? Three years together, and that’s it?”
I leaned forward and said, “That’s it. If you can’t accept the twins, then we’re done. I’m all they have left, and they are all I have left. You aren’t taking that away from me. You know I don’t do ultimatums, and yet you gave me one. I’ll choose them every single time.”
Felix scowled. “You know that isn’t what I was trying to do. I wanted to have a conversation about this.”
“What conversation?” I asked in a low voice. My emotions were all over the place, playing roulette. Even I didn’t know where they were about to land. I needed to make it through this conversation. That was all. I just need to get through this. “You were clear as crystal. You don’t want to take care of three children. You can’t get much clearer than that. I’m not giving them up, so that means you’re the one who is out.”
“Fine!” Felix shoved his phone into his pocket. “Fine. I’m done with this shit.”
He stalked toward the door.
“I want your things gone by tomorrow night!” I called after him. “Otherwise, I’m burning it all.”
Felix didn’t say anything as he shoved himself out the door, slamming it shut behind him, leaving a draft of cold air to move into the cafe.
I had a feeling tomorrow night I was going to be eating smores with the kids.
The others in the cafe looked at the door and then back at me, expecting more of a show. My shoulders slumped, and I sat back down, putting my head in my hands as a headache pulsed. I closed my eyes and calmed my heart.
That had been coming for a while now. The moment I gained guardianship of the twins, our relationship began spiraling downward. I was surprised we lasted four months since Lawson and Lee moved in with me. Felix had looked at those two adorable boys and his expression darkened with annoyance, and I knew things had changed between u
s. I had used the last couple of months to build a wall between us to prepare my heart.
Groaning in frustration, I tried to assess how I really felt. That was important to do. Otherwise, I buried my emotions until there was too much and I exploded.
What exactly did I feel right now? What was that lightness in my shoulders?
Relief.
I was relieved. We’d been fighting constantly since I’d adopted the twins.
The ache in my heart? Sadness.
I was also hurting. Three years. I spent three years with Felix. That was a lot of history to be casually thrown away. My eyes burned as my chest squeezed tight, making my lungs have to fight for air. I buried my face in my arms and hid the tears as they finally broke free. I risked ruining my makeup in public over that butthead.
He had understood me. He liked that I liked frilly, poofy dresses. He didn’t mind that I colored or liked watching cartoons. He didn’t care that I’d rather play on a swing set instead of reading about stocks or doing fancy crossword puzzles. He knew my favorite hot chocolate brand and that coffee was the most disgusting thing ever. He loved our childish fights that resorted to nonsense and sticking out tongues. He gave me tickle fights. Silly faces. Attention.
He had understood it all. Life was meant to be enjoyed, and I was a firm believer in enjoying every second that I could.
My phone beeped, one of my many alarms going off, making me jump in surprise.
“Oh shoot,” I said, rushing to my feet. The twins needed to be picked up. I gathered my coat and purse, fluffed up my dress, and then went out into the cold, making a sprint to my car to get out of the frigid wind.
October sucked. Whatever was going on in the world made Boston a mystery. It was usually mild, but in the last couple of years, it fluxed between summer and winter cold. One day, it’d be warm enough to wear a summer dress and play outside. Then the next, we’d be pelted with cold rain and I’d need a raincoat. We’d even gotten snow yesterday! And that was after it rained for two days straight. Which meant I had to trudge through gross sludge, and cars made it a game to splash pedestrians with all the melted snow and gathered rain. All I wanted to do was drink hot chocolate in front of the fireplace and color.
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