“I know.” Tom bit his lip.
They’d each brought a large hiking backpack filled with bottled water, tinned fish and baked beans. Her eyes drifted to the flyer on top of Tom’s bag. Its edges curling, the page yellow. It had been stuck to that lamppost—or wherever Tom had taken it from—for weeks before he’d found it.
Did the settlement even still exist? Were they still taking in people or was it full?
But if they brought supplies…and with her, a nurse.
Chris looked up at him from where she was kneeling next to her backpack and sighed. “You’re right. Someone might still be living here. I’m sorry.” She bit her lip. “We need the food, Tom.”
“So do they.” Tom gave her a long look. “Come on, Mum. We can’t just take people’s supplies…”
Chris nodded. “We could wait? If they’re not back by morning—"
The front door squeaked as it was opened. Voices travelled through the hallway.
A man and a woman. The man sounded elderly.
Chris’ eyes drifted over the food stacked on the shelves.
Grab everything and run! I know you want to! Maggie whispered.
“Did you leave the backdoor open?” the woman asked. “There’s a draught.”
Tom peeked around the edges of the door, turned to Chris and shook his head. “They don’t have any weapons.”
Go on! They sound old. You can take them. This is a lot of food. Tom doesn’t understand—
Chris knocked over a chair and said loudly, “We’re not here to hurt you. We didn’t know that anyone was living here. I’m here with my son. I’m a nurse. Don’t be afraid.”
“Who is it, Karen?” the man called. “Is that Jane?”
“I’m Chris. I’m here with my son, Tom.” Chris gripped the makeshift pepper spray in her pocket tightly.
A woman opened the door to the living room. She looked to be in her mid-sixties and was pushing a wheelchair. In it sat a man with rheumy eyes. He rapped his knuckles against the armrests. “Jane is that you?”
“Who are you?” the woman asked, stepping between Chris and the wheelchair.
“We didn’t realise anyone still lived here,” Tom said, raising his hands to indicate they were no danger.
The woman’s eyes were blazing with anger. She put a hand on her hip. “I live here with my dad. We’ve kept to ourselves. How dare you waltz in here and—” Her eyes fell onto the open bags. “Take our food?”
Chris pushed strands of hair from her face. “We were…” She studied the man in the wheelchair. He wore tracksuit bottoms and a thin jacket, his wispy grey hair sticking out in all directions. He looked no more dangerous than a new-born. One punch and he’d be out cold, but his daughter would put up a fight.
But if they actually threatened Chris, Tom would intervene. He wouldn’t just watch. He’d help her. He’d always helped her.
He didn’t help you when Tony accused you of killing Maggie, Mike’s voice mockingly reminded her. He believed him, didn’t even question your guilt.
And, John’s voice piped up, didn’t he tell Maggie that you were dangerous? What if he’s going to do that again?
Maggie just cackled.
Chris squeezed her eyes shut, her hands balled into fists. What if he did that again? What if he told people in the settlement that she was dangerous?
What if he never gives you a chance?
“Mum?” Tom asked, his voice shaking.
Chris drew in a deep breath and held it for a few moments, then forced a smile. “We’re sorry. We thought this house was empty. We didn’t mean to scare you. We wouldn’t take—” Her eyes drifted over the well-stocked shelves, and she bit her lip. “We wouldn’t take your supplies. We’re not here to steal. We’re just…”
“My mum was ill,” Tom said. “We’re hungry.”
The woman stared at him and her features softened. “Oh honey that’s terrible! So many people are starving. We’re waiting for my daughter.” She smoothed down her blouse, then patted the old man’s arm. “I was just saying that we were waiting for Jane.”
The old man smiled. “Is Jane here?”
The woman shook her head. “Not yet. But soon, Dad. Soon…” Her voice trailed off and her smile faded.
“Where is your daughter?” Chris asked.
“She lives in Surrey with her husband and my grandchildren. Teddy’s great-grandchildren.” She absentmindedly patted her father’s arm again. “We have been waiting for a few weeks now. We have all this food, and we’ve made sure not to use too much of it. The children will need it, won’t they Teddy?” She flashed Chris a timid smile, her eyes darting to Tom. “Your son is very handsome.”
Chris nodded proudly. “He is.”
“At least he’s all grown up. My daughter has toddlers. It must be hard to travel with two small children, but they will make it eventually.”
It had been two months since the EMP. It didn’t take two months to walk to Takeley from anywhere in Surrey. Even with two small children. But Chris didn’t want to crush the woman’s hopes. “They are probably avoiding London and other built-up areas. I’m sure they’ll be here soon.”
The woman exhaled, visibly relieved at hearing Chris’ words. “I have the guestroom made up and ready if you and your son want to spend the night?”
“That would be lovely, thank you.”
The woman grabbed a pot from the table and filled it with bottled water. “I’m Karen, and this is my dad, Theodore.” Karen gently patted the man’s shoulder again as if to reassure him that she was right there. “You can call him Teddy. He’s somewhat hard of hearing, and I’m not sure he understands why the lights are out and why there’s no telly, but he enjoys when I read to him.”
Chris raised her voice and put on her most charming smile. “Nice to meet you, Teddy.” She turned to Karen, her eyes darting across the bookshelves stocked with supplies.
Tom glowered at her, and Chris quickly offered Karen her hand. “It’s nice to meet you too, Karen. Thank you for opening up your home to us. Living in the woods was tough. I was ill and my son…he took care of me.”
Karen pointed to the sofa. “Have a seat. I’ll fix you something to eat.”
Karen boiled some water over a camping gas cooker on the patio and prepared chicken and mushroom instant noodles.
Chris licked her lips, watching Karen stir in spices. “This smells like a gourmet meal after weeks of lukewarm beans and spaghetti hoops.”
Karen smiled. “I’m glad.” She set down a bowl and a fork in front of Theodore. “When the gout in his fingers flares up, I have to help him.”
“I can show you some exercises to help with his mobility,” Chris offered.
“Thank you.”
They ate in silence. Unanswered questions plagued Chris’ mind, but she didn’t think Karen wanted to talk.
Are you going to rob them?
Chris ignored Maggie’s taunt.
Karen’s food supply would run out in a few months, and with Theodore dependent on his wheelchair, finding new food would be tough.
You’re saying that they’ll die either way…
I’m not a monster!
Chris furrowed her brows, trying to savour her noodles, but Maggie was making it difficult.
“Are you all right?” Tom gave her a concerned look.
Chris nodded. “I’m just worried about the future.”
“Aren’t we all,” Karen said quietly.
Tom set down his bowl and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “How’s the situation in Takeley?”
“It’s almost abandoned now. Soldiers emptied the supermarkets, then moved on. People started to leave, but we have to wait for Jane. ” She took another bite, chewed thoughtfully, then smiled sadly. “Where would we go? Everywhere else is going to be the same as here.”
“What did you say?” Teddy asked.
“I said that Jane would be here soon.” Karen stroked the back of his hand and smiled at him before turning ba
ck to Chris. “And you two? Where are you going?”
“We don’t know,” Chris admitted.
Karen frowned.
“We’ll find a place. We always do.”
After dinner, they went to bed, and Tom gave Chris another tablet. “Swallow.”
“I think—”
“Paul said you needed to take these until we run out.”
What if Tom is poisoning—
Chris pressed her palms against her ears and squeezed her eyes shut.
Tom wouldn’t, she said to Maggie.
“Mum?”
“Show me the package.” She inspected the blister packaging. Seroquel.
See? He thinks you’re—
No. I’m not listening to you, Chris spat. Seroquel was an antipsychotic medication. It was prescribed for several disorders, and Chris wasn’t surprised it had been part of the doctor’s supplies.
“That’s why I slept so much.”
Tom bit his lip. “Is it something bad? Should I not have—”
“No. No. I think Paul did the right thing.” Chris washed a tablet down with a sip of water.
“Thank you, Mum.”
She frowned. “For what?”
“I could see the wheels turning in your head. You were considering taking everything from these people and yet you didn’t.”
She swallowed.
What if the settlement only took in people who brought supplies with them? What if—
“See? The wheels are turning. You’re not sure you did the right thing.” He placed his hand over his mouth and gasped dramatically before saying, “Karen and Teddy’s might have been the only food left in the whole of England, and Tom might starve.”
He was mocking her, and Chris rolled her eyes. “You’re not funny.”
“You’re right. It’s not funny.”
The bed was too narrow to accommodate them both, so Tom took his pillow and a woollen throw and slept on the floor.
With her head propped up on her hand, Chris watched his chest rise and fall, wondering if he’d ever trust her again.
It was a mild day, and a light breeze blew wisps of hair into her face. They walked silently along the A120. Tom looked as if he was in deep thought, and Chris was trying to keep her mind off her aching feet.
As a nurse she was used to being on her feet, but she’d spent too many weeks bedridden.
The voices in her head were silent, but she felt Maggie’s presence, knew she was hovering at the edges of her consciousness.
Waiting to pounce.
A new settlement. A fresh start.
Chris waited for Maggie to tell her that she’d just ruin everything again, but Maggie remained silent, crow’s feet crinkling as she stared Chris down with narrowed eyes.
I won’t screw up.
Silence was her only reply.
Chris swallowed, stared at the back of Tom’s head. She’d follow his lead. She’d—
A quiet cackle filled her mind, muffled as if broadcast through broken speakers. She decided to ignore the cackling, ignore the voices, ignore Maggie.
Before they had set off, Chris had shown Karen several exercises to help Theodore with his pain.
See? I help people.
She held onto that thought, walking past abandoned cars with her head held high. Whenever they passed a motorway sign, she looked up, counting down the miles to Braintree.
Her damp shirt stuck to her lower back and sweat was trickling down her neck.
Are we there yet? she wondered, slowing down to a shuffle. Her feet were blistered, and she considered taking off her shoes and walking barefoot. Taking another tentative step, she felt a searing burn in her heel and came to a halt.
Hearing Chris groan, Tom stopped, pointing at a road sign in the distance. “We’re almost there. Give me a second. There were instructions on the back of the flyer.” He pulled the paper from his back pocket, unfolded it and squinted at it. “There should be a footpath on the right.” Biting his lip, he lowered the flyer and gave her a long, pensive look.
Chris reached down to massage her calves. “What is it?”
“Before we reached the farm…I don’t know if you remember, but I’d asked you to keep a low profile, and…well…that didn’t go so well.” He gave a small shrug. “This time…” He trailed off, running a hand through his hair.
Chris bit her lip. “Go on?”
“This time, before you act, before you do anything rash, please talk to me. Can you do that?”
Something ugly bubbled up inside her belly, and she frowned. She didn’t appreciate being spoken to as if she were five and not almost forty. By her own son. But Tom was right. Their time at the farm hadn’t ended well. And it had been her fault.
Chris carefully swallowed her rising anger and nodded. “I can do that.”
Tom reached for her hand and squeezed it. She gave him a small smile, then scowled at Maggie in her mind. See? I’m not a monster.
I’m a nurse, and I help people.
I’m not a monster.
Maggie didn’t reply.
7
The next day, Bob still wouldn’t let anyone touch his arm.
In the afternoon, Sue sat in the kitchen, watching Sarah making a terrine with rabbit meat. “Can you believe it? He’s thrown me out of my own bedroom. Stubborn man.” She had dark circles under her eyes. Chewing on the inside of her cheek, she raked her fingers through her hair.
“He’ll come around,” Anna said, but as the days went by, and the circles under Sue’s eyes grew more pronounced, she in turn grew increasingly concerned.
Sarah had rearranged the schedule, and the other members of the settlement were assigned Bob’s chores.
Muffled groaning floated down from the bedroom, but nobody dared mention the elephant in the room until three days later when Rachel finally snapped. “We need to fix his shoulder.”
Sue was sitting at the kitchen table with her face buried in her hands. She’d been sitting at her husband’s side for days in silent fear and hadn’t slept a wink. “You don’t say.” Sarcasm dripped from each word.
“I know you love Bob, but you’ve always been far too forgiving when he’s—”
“Don’t you start,” Sue spat, taking off her glasses. “I don’t think your failed relationships qualify you to comment on mine.”
Rachel scowled. “Suit yourself.” She left the room, slamming the door behind her.
Anna cleared her throat, and Sue’s head whipped around in her direction. A raised eyebrow dared her to say something, but Anna didn’t take the bait, mumbling an apology and leaving the house in search of her sister instead.
She stopped on the patio and exhaled slowly. Dark grey clouds were gathering overhead, threatening rain. Inside the cottage, the tension was palpable. Sue’s worry. Bob’s moans. Rachel’s helplessness.
Anna couldn’t deal with the tension, didn’t know what to do.
Luke was standing by the sheds with Sarah and Rose. He waved Anna over. Oreo was chewing on what Anna hoped was a rabbit bone in the grass. His tail wagged as Anna approached, but he didn’t get up to greet her.
“What’s up?” Anna asked, giving Graham a wave as she walked past the oak tree with the lookout platform.
Rose scowled. “Bob is still not letting anyone touch his shoulder. We need to find help. A doctor, a nurse, a…physiotherapist. I don’t care which, but we need to find someone.”
Sarah was leaning against a shed, twirling a strand of hair between her fingers. “We could go to Braintree and see if we can find anyone still at the hospital.”
The wind rustled in the hedges. Coloured leaves whirled through the air.
Luke smoothed down his hair and shrugged. “Everything’s boarded up. We could put up flyers asking if anyone could help?”
“No one is paying attention to flyers,” Sarah scoffed.
“I need Sue’s help with the garden,” Rose said. “She hasn’t slept in days and she’s not listening to me. There are vegetables we
need to plant now before it gets too cold, but I don’t know which. This is too important to get wrong.”
Anna didn’t like the sound of that. Sue was the only one in the group who knew about vegetables. “Have you told her that?”
“She hasn’t slept a wink since we brought Bob back,” Sarah said. “She’s barely conscious when she comes downstairs. I’d be surprised if she knew what a carrot was, let alone when to plant the carrot seeds.”
“I think Bob is starting to hallucinate,” Luke said. “I heard him last night. Their bedroom window was open, and he was talking to someone. It wasn’t Sue. He sounded delirious.” After a brief silence, he opened his mouth as if to add something. Instead, he looked up at the sky and sighed.
“I’d start hallucinating if I hadn’t slept in four days,” Anna muttered. She dropped her voice to a whisper. “Does anyone here know if he can…if this could kill him?”
“Graham says he could lose his arm,” Rose said in a low voice as if sharing a particularly compromising piece of gossip. “The resulting infection could very well kill him.”
“Right.” Sarah straightened her back and gathered her hair into a ponytail. “We’ve waited long enough. I’m going to tell Sue to get some sleep, and afterwards we’ll—”
“Afterwards you’ll…what? What are you going to do?”
Anna spun around.
Sue stood in the middle of the garden, one hand on her hip. “What do you think I’ve been doing up there with him? Twiddling my thumbs? He won’t let me touch him.”
Luke raised his hands in a reassuring gesture. “We know, Sue. This isn’t your fault. You need sleep. We’ll sit with him. We’ll watch over him, and if he gets worse, we will wake you straight away. I promise.”
“He’s in so much pain.” Tears glistened in Sue’s eyes. She wiped them and sniffed. “I don’t understand why it’s not working. They showed me what to do, but the shoulder won’t budge.”
Luke offered his hand and Sue gratefully took it. He smiled at her. “One of us will sit with him, and we’ll wake you if anything changes.”
“Do you promise?” She stifled a yawn. “ I can’t…I can’t go to sleep knowing he’s in this much pain.”
Darkness Ahead of Us | Book 3 | Darkness Lifting Page 7