“Tom? Is that you?”
“Yes, it’s me. I’m sorry. I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t want to wake my mum.”
“It’s almost time for Sue to take over. Why don’t you two stay here, and I’ll go and make her a cup of coffee? She’s been incredibly patient with me this week.” Bob patted Anna’s shoulder and whispered, “Talk to Luke.” Holding onto the ladder with his good arm, he awkwardly climbed down.
Anna stared off into the distance.
“Thank you again for taking us in,” Tom said, pulling himself onto the platform.
Anna smiled. “You’re welcome.” Studying his face, she added, “You look like you haven’t slept in weeks.”
“It’s been hard,” he admitted quietly.
“I can imagine.”
“Bob said I’d be working with him. Setting traps, hunting, searching through abandoned houses…”
Anna nodded.
“I worry…”
“About what?”
“I said that I’d keep an eye on her, but how can I do that if I’m out with Bob? What if she does something like last time?” He stared at his hands, cracked his knuckles.
Anna frowned. “She can’t do anything like that here.”
Tom bit his lip, avoiding Anna’s gaze. “I guess.” He clasped his hands in front of him and suddenly looked much older than his years. He had to duck his head whenever he moved so he didn’t bang it against the tree branches above him, and Anna realised that he was almost as tall as Luke. “She is always trying to protect me and I just…”
Anna was about to reply when Sue came outside holding a cup of coffee.
Tom sighed. “I’d better get ready to go with Bob.”
As he climbed down, Anna wondered if there was something else worrying him. She thought about asking him, but she didn’t want to frighten him. She’d seen him clam up before.
“Good morning,” Sue said, interrupting Anna’s thoughts.
“Good morning.”
“Garden duties?”
Anna smiled. “Need some coffee first.”
“Rachel’s made cold brew. The pot is on the coffee table.”
Anna shook her head. “I need to talk to Luke.” Without waiting for Sue’s reply, she left the lookout and made her way back to the bungalow. She was going to speak to him now, before she found another reason to talk herself out of it.
Once inside, she was tiptoeing along the hallway when she heard someone clearing their throat.
“Luke?”
“Yes?”
A light flickered in the living room. Luke was sitting on the sofa, angling his book so the candle on the coffee table illuminated the pages.
“You’re up early.”
“I’m always up early.” He chuckled. “You just don’t notice because you’re either outside sitting on that platform or you’re asleep. Coffee?”
“Just what I needed.”
He put his book down and headed into the kitchen. “Sorry. It’s only lukewarm instant brew. Rachel has made some—"
“Don’t worry, I’m used to it by now.” Anna sat down at the kitchen table and yawned.
“Why can’t you sleep?” Luke handed her a mug. “Is this about the cockerel? Or about Chris? I saw you flinch when you first spotted her. You’ve been on edge ever since.”
Anna sighed.
“She came across as a bit brash to me, but I saw her with Bob. She was gentle and patient.”
Anna looked out of the kitchen window. The sun was beginning to rise. “I suppose.”
“But?”
“I’ve been thinking. Remember when we first got here, and I told you we’d just escaped that couple at my dad’s who were after his insulin?”
Luke took a sip from his mug. “I remember.”
“They broke into his home. Stole his insulin. They killed him. Just because they were willing to do whatever it took to survive. Insulin doesn’t last forever. They killed him just so Gus could get a few extra weeks.” Anna grimaced. “I’m not sure I’m willing to do whatever it takes.”
“And you think Chris is?”
“She is. And that scares me. I don’t think I could kill a person. I’m aware I might have to at some point, and I think I’ve made peace with that thought, but…”
“You’re not sure you could pull the trigger.”
“Exactly.” Anna took a sip of her lukewarm coffee. By now she found it comforting. She had almost finished her drink when she realised they’d been sitting in silence the entire time.
She glanced up and saw him staring at her with a new intensity. Anna cleared her throat, feeling her cheeks redden. She’d come here to talk to him. She had to. “You said you weren’t good at this, and neither am I. My last relationship ended years ago, and I’m not the easiest person to live with.”
“Good thing I already live with you then. It’s not been too bad so far.”
“The coffee could be better.” Anna smirked. “I like you, you know?”
“I like you, too.” Luke reached out and cupped her cheek in his hand, leaning in.
“Are you sure?” Anna asked.
He nodded.
Anna bit her lip, closed her eyes. She felt his warm hand caressing her cheek. Smiling, she leaned in and kissed him.
The door opened and Sarah walked inside. She glanced in the direction of Anna and Luke. “Finally,” she muttered as she took a clean mug from the cupboard.
“Rachel’s made cold brew,” Anna said.
Sarah grinned. “Right. See you in a bit.”
Anna didn’t reply and instead kissed Luke again, letting the butterflies explode in her stomach.
12
“That was the last of the cabbage.” Rose said, entering the kitchen. “At least for now.” Her nostrils flared as she looked down at herself. Mud clung to her hands and trousers.
“We’ve planted more.” Sue grimaced apologetically.
Rose set down the cabbage next to Chris’ chopping board. “Graham will be happy to hear that. What are we harvesting next?”
“Broccoli,” Sue replied.
Chris put her knife down and rubbed her tender palms, inspecting the blister forming near her thumb. She’d been chopping for hours.
Sue was fermenting the remaining cabbage, hoping to preserve it for the coming winter months. Chris looked to Rachel who was preparing the jars to store the cabbage in. “Do you have a plaster?”
Rachel nodded. “Of course.”
Rose wiped her hands on her trousers. “Right. I’m going back in the garden. Those weeds won’t pull themselves.”
Chris gave Rose a friendly nod, then followed Rachel to a chest of drawers at the end of the hallway.
Rachel opened the top drawer. It creaked faintly. “Your hands will toughen up.”
“I hope so.” Chris caught a glimpse of packet of ibuprofen and narrowed her eyes, noticing a distinct lack of medical supplies in the drawer. She’d expected a community as well organised as this one to have more than a few boxes of painkillers. “Is that all we have?”
“No.” Rachel knelt down and opened the bottom drawer.
Chris rubbed her tender palm, inspecting the medicine Rachel placed on top of the chest.
“This is what we have.”
It wasn’t much, but it would last them through the winter, even if more than one person needed antibiotics.
Sue peered around the kitchen door, adjusting her glasses with her index finger. “I know it’s not much, but Bob doesn’t really know what he’s looking for. Why don’t you make a list of the medicine we might need?”
Rachel handed Chris a plaster, then put the boxes back in the chest.
Chris returned to the kitchen. “That’s a good idea. I can write it on the back of the list of seeds I need from the garden centre.”
“Let’s hope that no one has taken those,” Rachel said.
“I doubt many people are thinking of growing rosemary.” Chris applied the plaster to her palm before resuming her chop
ping duties.
In the four days since they’d arrived, she’d learned that Sarah’s schedule was nothing if not efficient. Just like Sarah had explained, everyone contributed in any way they could.
Chris had mostly kept to herself. Had observed. Tom had done the opposite. He’d become a part of the community so smoothly, it was as if he’d always lived there.
Despite living in Graham’s home, the man hardly acknowledged them. Thankfully, Rose had made up for that by being incredibly warm and welcoming. Sue and Rachel had been just as kind. They were more than neighbours. They were a family.
Chris hadn’t seen enough of Luke to form an opinion on him, but it was obvious that Anna liked him. And she couldn’t imagine anyone disliking Bob. The man was clearly the heart of the community—good-natured, always up for a laugh, and he took his duties incredibly seriously.
Sensing that someone was observing her, Chris turned around, feeling the hairs stand up on the back of her neck. Tom was standing in the doorway, watching her through narrowed eyes.
Spotting him, Sue tilted her head. “Is there something you need?”
“Bob sent me to fetch fresh water for him and Luke.”
The two men were chopping wood behind the cottage. Chris could hear the muffled thumping drift in through the open window in the living room. Still, she wondered if Tom was telling the truth or if he was just there to keep an eye on her.
Just like he’d promised Anna.
He didn’t trust her. No matter what she did, whenever she turned around, Tom would be standing right there, watching her, his brows knitted in suspicion.
Chris looked away from him, suppressing her rising anger. She’d done everything that had been asked of her since they’d arrived. Had completed every chore, fulfilled every request.
But she couldn’t win. Tom didn’t trust her.
He’d never trust her.
The farm—Maggie—had been the last straw.
She could prove herself over and over, even save someone’s life, and it wouldn’t matter. Chris knew why. She understood his fear. His distrust. But how much time had to pass before she could tell him he was being unfair? She knew she’d made mistakes, brought this on herself, but didn’t she deserve a second chance?
Sue handed Tom two bottles of water.
Chris tried to catch his eye and give him an encouraging nod, but he headed back outside without a second glance.
He blamed her for so much of the pain he’d had to endure in his life.
For his father’s death. And Maggie…
Tom had adored Maggie. He’d spent so much time at the farm, she’d basically been a second mother to him.
But now he was treating Chris as though he’d decided that she would go on a murdering spree as soon as he looked the other way. He didn’t seem prepared to give her a fair chance.
Sarah had been right. Chris had to talk to him.
“Is this all the water Bob found last week?”
Graham’s deep voice startled her, pulling her from her thoughts. Sue nodded, and Graham grimaced in reply.
Chris took the knife and continued chopping up cabbage.
Rachel returned to the kitchen, carrying a tray of jars she’d sterilised over the glowing embers in the fireplace. There was almost always something stewing in the fireplace, leaving the living room far too hot for the season, its warmth permeating the entire house.
“Bottled water is a tough find these days. Soon we’ll have to drink rainwater,” Rachel said. “Perhaps we can purify water from the river?”
Sue began to spoon cabbage mixture into the warm jars. “Bob will have to extend his rounds, go all the way to Colchester and check the shops there.”
Graham grunted, filling a crate with the bottled water.
“What are you grumbling about?” Rachel asked.
His gaze drifted from Rachel to Chris, and he frowned. For the first time, it felt as if he was truly noticing her. “Isn’t it dangerous to drink water from the river? What if there are bodies decomposing in it? What if”—he grimaced—"people are using it as a toilet?”
“You’re already boiling the rainwater, aren’t you?” Chris asked. “To brush your teeth?”
Sue nodded.
“Decomposing bodies aren’t actually all that dangerous as long as we boil the water.” Chris wrinkled her nose. “Not that it’s a nice thought. Do you”—she turned to Sue—“have any bleach? A few drops will purify water as well as boiling it would.”
Graham’s seemingly permanent frown deepened at Chris’ suggestion of using bleach. “I’d rather we find more bottled water. No matter how far Bob has to walk.” Graham closed his eyes for a moment and shuddered. “I’ll take these back to store them with the rest.”
Chris watched as he walked away, suddenly remembering him with the crate of potatoes the day she’d first arrived. He hadn’t seen her then, too busy with what he’d been doing. “Are you keeping extra supplies in one of the empty houses across the road?”
Sue shook her head. “No? What makes you say that?”
“Oh.” Chris frowned. “I just thought it would make sense. Saves space here.”
“What doesn’t fit in here is being stored in Graham and Rose’s downstairs office. It’s filled with stacks of old crates. You can barely get in or out.”
Chris shoved the chopped cabbage to the side and started on the next one. “Makes sense.” She must have misunderstood what Graham had been doing when she’d seen him cross the road.
Or perhaps you’re losing your mind.
Chris closed her eyes for a moment. She was unable to block out the voices whenever they spoke up.
“Here. You should drink.” Sue pushed a glass of water across the kitchen counter. “You look exhausted.”
Chris gave her a small smile. “I’m fine.”
By the time she had finished preparing all the cabbages, her wrist and elbow ached. It was almost time for lunch, and afterwards she had to help Sue and Rose build a scarecrow in the garden.
It was cooler outside, and she paused to inhale deeply. Bob had cut the grass with a scythe he’d taken from a nearby stables, and the grass was drying in the shade, almost ready to be used.
Tom was training with Oreo. The Border Collie waited obediently for his next command, his small black eyes watching Tom’s every move.
“He listens so well, doesn’t he?” Chris observed, approaching the pair.
Tom didn’t reply.
Despite the double bed in their room, he’d been sleeping on the floor, using his backpack as a pillow ever since he’d overheard her talking to Sarah.
“Tom? Can we talk?”
“You’re the one who’s not talking to me.”
“It’s not that easy.”
“Anna and Sarah lied for you and—”
“I know. Not here, Tom. Let’s go inside.”
He fixed her with a withering glare, but then his stance softened, and he nodded. “Fine. I was about to head inside anyway. Bob told me to get some sleep. I’m on watch tonight.”
She quickened her pace, trying to keep up with his stride while trying to get her thoughts in order—everything she wanted to say, and how she would say it. She imagined his reaction and braced herself.
“I deserve a second chance, Tom,” she said once inside, closing the door behind them.
He gave her a long look, absentmindedly cracking his knuckles. “I’m scared of you.” He spoke softly as if afraid of making her angry. “I promised Anna to keep an eye on you, but they don’t know…they don’t know that death follows you.”
A punch to the gut would have been more pleasant. “Adam’s death wasn’t my fault.” Chris’ voice cracked.
“I know. But Maggie’s was.”
Too stunned to reply, Chris dropped her hands to her sides and swallowed.
His stare softened. “I know you’re trying. I can see that.”
“I’ve made mistakes. I’ve admitted that.” Chris spoke slowly to keep her voic
e from shaking. “I know that I should have opened the door when Sarah knocked.”
Tom looked at her but said nothing, waiting to see if she would continue.
“I shouldn’t have killed that man by the river. You were right about that. I’d knocked him out and tied him up. He was no longer a threat.”
“But you were right too,” Tom whispered.
“What do you mean?”
“Sometimes we do meet people a second time.”
Chris gathered up her courage. “About Maggie…” She hesitated, wet her lips. “She was about to run back to the farm and tell everyone that I had killed that man at the pharmacy. They would have thrown us out.”
“They did throw us out.”
She winced. “I know.”
“Why didn’t you just come back and explain the situation? Tony would have understood.” Tom shrugged. “Even Maggie might have come around. She was upset, but that man had killed the pharmacist. You didn’t know what he was going to do next. You did what you did to protect Maggie. To protect yourself. Tony would have understood,” he repeated, his voice stubborn. “We could have stayed there.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. Maggie was terrified of me. You didn’t see her face.”
“You are pretty terrifying, Mum. You are someone who can grab an axe and kill a fully grown man.”
Chris swallowed.
“But I feel safe with you. I know you’ll protect me.” A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “Just tone it down a bit.”
Chris turned her attention to her shoes. “Then why…why can’t you trust me?”
He took a deep breath, waited for her to meet his eyes. “Because of Dad.”
Lester. It was always Lester.
Tom continued, “I can forgive you for killing those people. The things you’ve done. But there is something you’re not telling me. How can I trust you if you’re not honest with me?”
Chris thought of Sarah’s words: You have to tell him. She’d left him in the dark for too long. “You know that everything I do is to protect you. I love you. Will you hear me out?”
Tom nodded, lips pressed tightly together.
“I didn’t kill your father. Why would I? I loved him. But I did hurt him.” She didn’t dare look at her son and instead stared at the wall behind him. “The night of the EMP you came to find me at work, and I told you that I was angry at your father for letting you go.”
Darkness Ahead of Us | Book 3 | Darkness Lifting Page 12