Darkness Ahead of Us | Book 3 | Darkness Lifting

by Spencer, Leif

  “And?”

  “You asked if I’d shouted at him, and I said a bit.” Chris met Tom’s eyes. “I told him that sometimes…sometimes I wished…that he’d just give up and end it all.”

  Tom scowled.

  “I blamed him for not trying harder, for not stopping you, and I told him that we’d be better off without him. I’m sorry.”

  “Is that why…is that why he killed himself?”

  “Maybe. Your dad was terribly ill…”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I knew you’d never forgive me. I don’t even know how to forgive myself for saying those awful words.”

  Tom slumped onto the bed. “I said that to you.”

  “Said what?”

  “By the river. I told you that I was going to leave you behind, and that I didn’t want you near James. I was trying to walk away.”

  The moment he spoke, Chris remembered the scene. Remembered her son beginning to walk away, then hesitating. “But you didn’t walk away.”

  “You should have told me about Dad.”

  “I should have told you,” Chris agreed. She sat down at the foot of the bed, watched him fluff up the pillow. “I’m not going to hurt anyone else. I didn’t take Karen and Teddy’s food, did I? And I helped Bob.”

  “I suppose.”

  “When are you on duty next?”

  “Not until sunset.” He removed his shoes and socks.

  “I’ll bring you some lunch in a few hours.”

  “Thank you, Mum.”

  She took her gardening gloves from the top of the chest standing next to the bed and forced a grin. “We’re building a scarecrow this afternoon.”

  “Have fun.”

  Chris gave him a small smile, then left the room. Once outside, she leaned against the wall and let out a long breath. He’d listened to her. Hadn’t blamed her. Looking up at the copse of trees behind the house, she rolled her shoulders, the tension melting away.

  It was a quiet place. Peaceful. It would have been quiet before.

  Living somewhere like this would have been wonderful. She and Lester had briefly considered moving away from Harlow. They’d been dreaming of a place with a bigger garden where they could keep a dog. Where they could have dinner on the patio and enjoy the warm evening sun in summer.

  Sadness overcame her at all the lost opportunities. Tom deserved a better future. Whatever that meant in this world, she vowed to give it to him.

  Movement caught her eye, and she looked up in time to see Graham crossing the road, an empty crate under one arm.

  It was the same crate he’d taken from Sue’s kitchen.

  They’d kept the supplies in the downstairs office, according to Sue. Where had Graham taken the bottled water? Was he preparing the abandoned houses for them to move into? Surely, he’d have told them if that was the case.

  Bob would want to know.

  A blanket of grey clouds was moving across the sky and the light was fading. The smell of rain filled the air.

  Everyone would be crowding into Bob and Sue’s living room. Chris didn’t like communal meals, but she couldn’t deny that they strengthened the community.

  Her stomach rumbled. Still unsure about Graham, Chris hurried over, hoping to remain dry. Luke nodded at her from the lookout platform, a wide umbrella already open to shield him from the rain.

  She quickly made her way inside. Behind the breakfast bar, Sue was ladling steaming soup into bowls. Anna and Sarah were sitting on the sofa. Her breath hitched, and Chris wondered if she’d ever feel completely comfortable around the sisters.

  Bob waved at her from his armchair. “Is Tom sleeping?”

  Chris nodded. “I’m supposed to wake him in a few hours and bring him something to eat.”

  “Good. He’s been working hard. You must be proud. He’s such a good kid.”

  “He is.” Chris moved out of the way to let Rose pass who was placing two bowls of soup on the coffee table near the sofa.

  “Have you seen Graham?” Rose asked.

  “He’s back at the house.” Chris sat down next to Rachel who’d settled on one of the stools in front of the breakfast bar that separated the kitchen from the living room.

  Sue set down two bowls in front of them, and Chris inhaled the rising steam. Cabbage soup. As expected. At least Graham would be happy. “Have you thought about moving into the empty houses across the road?”

  “We’ve talked about it,” Bob said.

  Rose looked at her with wide eyes. “Aren’t you happy with our guest room?”

  “No! No! We’re very happy. Thank you again. I was just wondering…what would happen if more people came…you know finding those flyers like we did?”

  “You’re the first to come in over two months,” Rose said.

  Graham stepped inside, wet from the rain, and dried his face on his sleeve. He unfolded two camping chairs before sitting down next to Bob.

  “But what if others come?” Chris asked.

  “Enough is enough,” Graham said. “Sue’s vegetable garden can only feed so many.”

  “We’re hunting and scavenging,” Bob pointed out. “We’re not just depending on the garden.”

  “The dwindling supplies make me a bit nervous, that’s all.”

  Dwindling supplies? Hadn’t Sue said that Graham and Rose’s office was filled with crates of food? Chris kept quiet, eating her meal and listening. Graham seemed perpetually annoyed.

  “We have enough supplies for a few months. You’re worrying unnecessarily,” Rachel said.

  “Am I?” Graham raised an eyebrow. “There isn’t nearly as much food as you think there is. And I would know. I’m the one who keeps the inventory.”

  Chris watched him bristle. Had Sue been mistaken? Chris couldn’t help but wonder why he was moving crates across the road. Had no one seen him? Did no one know about it?

  Chris frowned, chewing thoughtfully. She couldn’t shake her unease. Beside her, Rachel got up, her bowl already empty.

  “No one new has arrived.” Rose rested her hand on Graham’s arm to placate him.

  “We don’t need anyone else joining us. I think Bob should stop putting up flyers.”

  “I’m not turning away anyone in need,” Bob said.

  “But…” Anna paused and offered Bob an apologetic shrug. “You are giving away our location on those flyers. You said it yourself, there are other settlements out there and supplies are running low.”

  “I’m not turning away…” He fell silent and looked to Sue for support.

  His wife sat down on the armrest of his chair and started to eat. Placing a hand on his shoulder, she smiled at him. “I know it’s important to you that we try and help people, and I agree. But perhaps you could suggest a meeting point instead? The country park for example? Or another place if you prefer. Like that we can vet people from a safe distance, and you aren’t giving away our location to anyone.”

  Bob rested his head against her arm in a loving gesture and smiled. “I like that idea.”

  “Any progress on the sheep front?” Anna asked, seemingly eager to change the subject.

  “There’s eight of them in that field. I went to have a closer look. They seemed pretty skittish, and there were blood stains on the grass. Fresh ones. I think someone’s killed one or two, but whoever did it hasn’t been able to take the entire flock with them.” He sighed. “Tom and I were going to visit the chicken farmer tomorrow.” He looked to Sarah. “Can you spare Rachel? She was great at negotiating with him the last time.”

  Sarah pulled out her notebook, studied it for a moment then nodded. “That’s okay. I’ll shift a few things around.”

  With little interest in sheep and Rachel’s negotiation skills, Chris allowed her attention to drift back to Graham. Something about the man didn’t sit right with her.

  It was the same feeling she’d experienced with her boss, Mike. And that soldier…

  Graham said something to his wife, and Rose looked at him
with adoration in her eyes.

  I’m the one who keeps the inventory.

  Chris kept her eyes fixated on Graham. She was determined to find out what was amiss.

  The scarecrow turned out more like a toddler’s stick figure drawing than the real thing, but a few hours later it stood—as askew as the Leaning Tower of Pisa, but it stood—at the edge of the garden.

  Chris brought Tom a bowl of soup with a slice of crusty bread shortly before sunset. The soup was cold, but her son would devour anything after a nap.

  She sat down at the foot of the bed and watched him eat, thinking of the words he’d said to her after they’d left Hatfield Forest: This time, before you act, before you do anything rash, please talk to me. Can you do that?

  “Can I talk to you about something?”

  He nodded.

  “What do you do with the supplies that you and Bob bring home?”

  Tom scowled. “Why?” Seeing the hurt in Chris’ eyes, he winced and rubbed his neck, his hands disappearing in his long locks. “I’m sorry. Bad habit. Anything perishable goes to Sue’s kitchen for preservation, anything in a tin goes into the downstairs office.”

  “And Bob hasn’t suggested storing the supplies in different locations? To make it more difficult for intruders to find everything all at once?”

  “No, but that’s a great idea.”

  “I saw something.”

  His face fell at her words. “Mum?”

  “You told me that I should come to you. I’m here, I’m talking to you.”

  “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

  “I’ve seen Graham, more than once, taking crates filled with supplies across the road. He always comes back empty-handed.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “I know what I saw, Tom.”

  He frowned. “Why would he do that?”

  “I don’t know. That’s what I’ve been trying to figure out.”

  “Perhaps he’s helping Neil?”

  “I doubt it. He’s against taking in anyone else. And Neil’s been hostile in the past.”

  Tom stuffed the rest of his bread into his mouth before placing the bowl against his lips and drinking his soup. “I have to go.” He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Sarah is waiting for me.”

  Chris nodded absentmindedly and stood. She approached the window, looking outside. “I might talk to Anna. She knows me. She’ll believe me.”

  “I’ll see if Sarah knows anything.” He walked up to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Tone it down a bit, will you?”

  Chris nodded, taking in his small smile. He looked a lot happier than he had in a long time.

  He’d listened to her, and he’d forgiven her. Had even agreed to give her a second chance. She’d talk to Anna, take things one step at a time.

  Whatever Graham was up to, she wasn’t going to let anything come between her and her son again.

  13

  Now what?

  Anna stared at the candle, almost hypnotised by the dancing flame. She was grateful that Sarah always assigned her evening chores that ended as soon as the sun set so she could go to her room and read.

  Oreo usually stayed with whoever was on patrol, happily running along the fence, sniffing, letting out the occasional bark whenever he picked up the scent of a roaming animal.

  Anna’s gaze drifted down to her current read—an ancient paperback edition with a broken spine and ripped cover. She’d constructed a makeshift bedside table using four stacks of books pushed together with a piece of cardboard on top to protect the covers from the dripping wax of her candle.

  Leaning back against her pillow, she opened the horror novel, then pulled a thin blanket around herself before angling the book so that the candlelight illuminated the yellowed pages. She sank deeper into the sheets.

  Bob had been right. A lot had happened in the last few days.

  Bob’s shoulder. Chris’ arrival.

  Luke.

  Her cheeks flushed at the thought of him, and she buried her face in her book. Sarah had seen the kiss, and she was certain everyone in the settlement would know by now. She’d already felt like an insect under the microscope before, and it would only get worse.

  Realising that she’d read the same paragraph three times without taking it in, she lowered her book, then closed it with a sigh.

  Her heartbeat quickened as she thought of Luke’s soft lips pressed against hers and how his hands—

  A knock on the door jolted her out of her thoughts.

  For a moment, she worried that it was Luke. That he’d come to ask her to spend the night with him, and her palms grew sweaty.

  No. Anna shook her head. He wouldn’t do that. Not after she’d asked him to give her some time.

  “Who is it?”

  The sound of footsteps shuffling around on the carpet in the hallway could be heard. Then someone cleared their throat. “It’s…Chris.”

  Anna sat up with a start. She set down her book, scooted to the edge of the bed and planted her feet on the floor as if grounding herself that way could somehow infuse her with strength. She pushed the blanket off her legs and smoothed down her jumper.

  The last time she’d been alone with Chris, the woman had waved a carving knife in Anna’s face. She’d been here for almost a week now, but the only time they’d spoken was outside the cottage shortly after Chris had fixed Bob’s shoulder.

  Anna glanced outside. Darkness had crept over the roofs, but she could hear voices drifting over from the cottage kitchen.

  Sue and Rose were washing up.

  Anna considered calling for backup.

  That would be silly.

  “Anna?”

  Anna straightened her back, bracing herself. “Come in.”

  The door opened and Chris took a tentative step forward. “I’m sorry. I’m…” Her voice trailed off. Her pale face was illuminated by the candlelight, and Anna could see her gaze dart around the room.

  “You can come in, I won’t bite.”

  Chris pursed her lips and looked like she was about to object, but after a moment of deliberation, she entered the room and closed the door behind her.

  “Do you need my help?” Anna asked, her voice betraying her unease.

  “I wanted to thank you for being so welcoming.”

  “That’s mostly Bob,” Anna said. “I’m just—”

  “You could have told us to leave. We would have.” Chris didn’t meet Anna’s eyes. “I hope you know that.”

  “Sarah told me you’d apologised to her.” Anna tried to keep her face impassive, pressing the soles of her feet into the wooden floor. “I’m grateful for that. Everyone wants to survive. Believe me, I know the lengths people will go to.” Gus came to her mind. And her father. “But I still can’t trust you. I hope you can understand that.”

  Chris looked taken aback, her fists clenched at her side.

  Anna studied her face, then tried to soften the blow. “That was harsh, but it’s the truth. We’ll have to take it one day at a time.”

  Chris nodded slowly.

  Anna waited for Chris to tell her why she was there, but the woman remained silent. “Tom is settling in well.”

  Chris’ mouth curled into an involuntary smile, but then her features hardened again. “He is.”

  “Have a seat,” Anna offered, pointing at Luke’s old office chair. He’d removed the computer and desk to make more space for her but had left the chair behind. A shirt and a jumper were draped over one armrest.

  Chris sat down in the chair and swivelled around in it, taking in all the plants Sarah had distributed across the bookshelves, then smiled. “It’s cosy in here. I didn’t take you for someone who had green fingers judging by your old home.”

  Anna flinched at the mention of her flat. Chris had tried to kill her there. Her fear of this woman bubbled to the surface. Digging her nails into the palms of her hands, Anna said, “Those plants are Sarah’s. What do you want Chris?” She’d expected an apology, a q
uestion perhaps, but not for the other woman to sit down and engage in small talk.

  For the first time since she’d entered the room, Chris faced Anna. “I’ll get straight to the point.” Her brows were furrowed. “I’ve seen Graham carrying supplies across the road. He always comes back empty-handed. At first I thought that’s where the food was stored, but Sue said that wasn’t the case.” The lines around her mouth deepened. “Tom suggested that Graham might be taking Neil some food, but I doubt that. What’s going on?”

  Anna frowned. A dozen thoughts whirled through her mind at once. Why would Graham do that? It didn’t make sense. Was Chris lying?

  But why would Chris lie? Yes, she’d lied before. Had told her that Sarah hadn’t come to Harlow. Hadn’t knocked. All because she’d been worried about not having enough food for her son.

  Chris looked weaker now, but she was still the same person.

  Something didn’t add up. “Why would Graham do that?”

  “I don’t know. That’s what I’m asking you.”

  “How would I know? Why don’t you ask Bob?”

  “Because you know me. You know all I care about is Tom’s well-being, and that this settlement is his best chance at survival. You know that I have no reason to lie. Bob doesn’t.”

  Anna gave Chris a long look. The woman was clever. A dangerous opponent.

  What reaction was Chris hoping for? What could Anna do that would benefit Chris?

  Was she hoping Anna would accuse Graham of theft? Was she hoping to break down the trust between her and the others?

  But to what end?

  No one would let her leave with supplies, and there was safety in numbers. It didn’t make sense for Chris to leave a community as secure and as well organised as this one.

  Anna scowled. Unless…unless this was revenge. Revenge for trying to poison her.

  Do you think it’s possible to spot evil? Bob had asked her.

  What if Chris was trying to get Anna and Sarah banished?

  “Anna?”

  Chris looked worn out, her eyes dull and tired. The fight Anna had seen in them previously had gone out of her.