But if Chris was telling the truth, then what was Graham up to?
She wasn’t well over the summer, Tom had said.
Anna couldn’t think of a single reason why Graham would take supplies to a location other than the one previously agreed upon. He’d worked hard over the last two months, had spent countless hours chopping wood and building the fence. Anna thought of the way he doted on Rose and shook her head. He wouldn’t betray them.
If Chris wasn’t lying, she had to be mistaken.
“Thank you for talking to me.” Anna spoke slowly, still trying to gather her thoughts. “I’ll keep an eye on him.”
“That’s it?”
Anna frowned. “What did you think I’d do? Run out there and accuse Graham in front of everyone?”
“No. Of course not. But…I’d expected a bit more of a reaction.” Chris shook her head. “I wasn’t accusing him of anything. I only wondered what he was doing and why no one knew about it.”
Chris was clever. Her son’s well-being was all that mattered to her. And a group of skilled people working together was her best chance at survival.
She had no reason to lie.
“You’re right. We should talk to him.” She watched Chris’ face for any sign of hesitation or fear, but there was no visible reaction.
Only a nod. “Now? He’s currently on watch.”
Anna slid into her trainers and stood up. “Now is as good a time as any.”
They found Graham on the lookout platform. It had stopped raining, and the cloud cover was beginning to break open, revealing the gleaming stars.
Graham spotted them and his bushy eyebrows shot up in surprise. He pushed his hat back and gestured for Anna to climb up.
Sarah and Tom were patrolling the fence with Oreo trotting along behind them. Sarah waved as Tom inspected the fence near the gate to make sure it was still secure.
The wooden platform was narrow, and three was one too many, but Anna stood next to the stool so they had more room. Chris pressed her back against the trunk on the other side, her eyes filled with steely determination.
“Graham, I know you appreciate honesty. So I’ll get straight to the point.”
He frowned, looking up at her. “Make it quick. I can’t see much with both of you up here.”
“Chris saw…are you helping out Neil? Because if you are, I’m sure Bob would approve. You know he wouldn’t turn away anyone—”
“What on earth are you talking about?”
Anna swallowed. “Chris saw you carrying supplies across the road, and you came back empty-handed.” Hearing the faint accusation lacing her voice, she bit her lip and winced.
Graham took off his hat, ran a hand through his thinning grey hair and shook his head. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He turned to Chris. “When was that?”
“Shortly before lunch today.”
He put his hat back on and shook his head. “I was updating our inventory then. Perhaps you saw Neil? He and I are of similar height. He lives across the road from us.”
Chris frowned, tilted her head. Narrowing her eyes, she said, “It’s happened more than once. The day Tom and I arrived, after I’d fixed Bob’s shoulder. Rose had shown us the guest room, and I was on my way back to the cottage when I saw you carrying a crate full of potatoes. You went across the road. I’m certain.”
Graham stood up. He was a man of intimidating stature with broad shoulders, and as he clenched his fists, the muscles in his arms visibly tightened. His face was a grim mask, but his voice was quiet, almost friendly. He turned to look at Anna, and her stomach plummeted. “Why is she allowed to waltz in here and accuse me of tampering with supplies?”
“I’m sorry. She isn’t.” Fear constricted her throat, and Anna desperately wanted to take a step back, but she was standing at the edge of the platform. “Chris saw something, and she asked me about it, and I…I just wanted to know if you’re helping Neil out—”
“How dare you?” he thundered.
“I’m sorry” Anna swallowed, suddenly very aware of how angry Graham was. A vein pulsed in his temple. She couldn’t take her eyes off it. A flood of memories overwhelmed her. They came faster and faster.
You never had much sense, Anna. Her father’s voice. Instinctively, she brought both hands up to protect her head from the inevitable blow when Rose’s voice brought her back to the present.
“Is something the matter?” Rose was drying a plate with a dishcloth.
“I’m sorry I alarmed you. We’re fine,” Graham said soothingly. “We were just discussing food rations, and it got a bit heated.”
Anna raised an eyebrow at how easily that lie had come.
He sat back down, and Anna mumbled another apology. Her heart pounded in her chest. “I thought you would appreciate me coming straight to you.”
“With a lie.” He glowered at her. “After all those hours we’ve spent working together?”
Anna looked at Chris. The woman’s chin was lifted defiantly, but despite the darkness, Anna could see that she was shaking. She opened her mouth, but Anna gestured for her to remain silent. “Chris must have been mistaken.”
Graham muttered something under his breath, then fixed Anna with a glare. “We need to get rid of Neil if he’s loitering near our houses.”
Anna nodded in agreement. “Again, I’m sorry. I thought…”
“Forget about it. I’ll talk to Bob tomorrow. It’s time for Neil to leave.”
Anna left the platform, mumbling another apology.
Chris hurried after her. “I’m not lying.”
Anna stopped, her feet sliding in the wet grass as she spun around. “And why would I believe you?”
Chris calmly held her gaze. “I’m not lying. I have no reason to. And if I’m not lying, Graham is.”
“Unless you saw Neil.”
“I didn’t. I can recognise a grown man. I’m not blind.”
Torn and confused, Anna pressed her palms together.
“It wasn’t Neil, Anna.”
She didn’t know what to think. Graham’s reaction had scared her, but she trusted him. “Drop it, Chris. At least for now.
“But—"
Anna remembered Chris’ words: Your sister didn’t come knocking. But Sarah had, and Chris had pushed her down the stairs. “Do I have to remind you what happened the last time you worked yourself up into this state?”
“How do you know about Maggie?” Chris asked sharply. “Did Tom tell you?”
Anna furrowed her brows. “Who is Maggie?”
“Never mind.” Chris bit down on her bottom lip to stop it quivering.
“Don’t make this any worse, Chris. Go to sleep and let me talk to Bob. I’ll figure it out.”
It wasn’t until the morning that Anna found Bob alone.
She’d spent a few restless hours in bed, trying to sleep, but had finally given up.
Bob was boiling water over the fireplace in the living room. The doors to the patio stood open, and Anna saw Sue and Luke stoking the fire in the pit. They were going to smoke meat that day.
“Good morning.” Bob looked up. “You look troubled.”
Anna yawned and sank onto the sofa.
“Another sleepless night?”
She nodded.
“What’s on your mind?”
“Did you…did you know Luke and Graham before…everything changed?”
“Not really. We’d been neighbours for over a decade, but I didn’t really know them.”
“Do you trust them?”
“Of course. I trust them both with my life.” He poured water into his mug. “Why do you ask? Is this still about Chris?”
“I’m just…worried, I guess.”
“Worried?”
Anna ran her hand over a cushion, the softness of the fabric easing her anxiety. “What if we turn on each other?”
Bob’s eyes widened. “Why would that happen?”
“As you said, it’ll be winter before too long. What if
we struggle? I worry that if things get worse…"
“One day at a time, Anna. We’ll be fine.”
Anna wanted to talk more, wanted to share her fears with Bob. Tell him everything about Chris. About killing her manager and about Lester.
And about Graham, of course.
But Bob was already late, and Tom was waiting for him by the patio, Oreo by his side.
Anna got to her feet, grabbed a mug from the breakfast bar and made herself a cup of tea. She sighed and looked up—“I hope you’re right”—but Bob had already left.
Anna took a sip of her tea, unconvinced by Bob’s words. She was staring into her mug when her sister’s voice startled her.
“We’re late.” Sarah held a basket lined with a kitchen towel.
Anna rolled her eyes. “Why? Will the mushrooms run away if we don’t gather them within the next few hours?”
“Hahaha.” Sarah stuck out her tongue. “I’m supposed to help Sue this afternoon. We’re baking bread.”
“You’re a terrible baker.”
“I know, but Rachel is going with Bob and Tom. The chicken farmer, remember?”
“Did you check the hens this morning?” Anna asked, finishing her tea. She set the cup down on the breakfast bar before heading outside.
“Yes. They’re safe. No sign of rats. I look for droppings every morning. The traps haven’t been touched.”
“Good.” She waved to get Luke’s attention who was adding wood to the firepit. “Oreo is with Bob, but we’ll stay nearby.”
Sue wiped her forehead on her sleeve and nodded.
“Shout if you need help,” Luke said.
“Will do.” Anna unlocked the gate and ushered Sarah towards the woodland. Birdsong filled the air at this early hour.
“When were you going to tell me about what Chris has seen?” Sarah asked, leading them along a narrow path.
Anna blinked. “You’ve heard about that?”
“I was on patrol with Tom last night. We heard you two talking to Graham.” Sarah knelt down next to a large patch of mushrooms and rested the basket beside her. She pulled out her book and thumbed through the pages, glancing at the mushrooms every so often to compare them to the illustrations. “It didn’t sound like that went well.”
“You can say that again.” Anna looked behind her, suddenly worried that someone was following them, but the gate had remained closed. Graham was probably asleep. Rose was on watch. They were alone. “What did Tom tell you?”
“He didn’t want to talk at first, but I insisted. It didn’t take long for him to break down. He was in tears, Anna. He’s worried about Chris, but he’s also afraid of her.”
“He was afraid of her back when they were in my flat. I thought…I thought that had changed. She looks so frail.”
“I asked if something had happened, but he wouldn’t say. He repeated that he needed to keep an eye on her and watch her at all times.”
“Did he say what was wrong with her over the summer?”
“He’s giving her pills. He showed me the box, and I read the leaflet. They give those to people who are severely ill. People who are paranoid…who hallucinate…”
“You think Chris hallucinated Graham taking supplies across the road?”
Sarah shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe?”
“Did Tom mention someone called Maggie?”
“Maggie?” Sarah furrowed her brows. “No. Not that I can remember.”
Anna rubbed her eyes and sighed. Graham had vehemently denied taking supplies across the road, and Chris was taking medicine that prevented hallucinations…
And Anna still wanted to know who Maggie was. “And what if Graham…”
“Why would he? Don’t let her poison your thoughts.”
“You’re right. Do you think I should tell Bob the truth? About Chris’ boss? About her husband? That Tom is afraid of her?” Sarah opened her mouth and Anna smacked her upper arm playfully. “Don’t you dare say I told you so.”
“We can’t let her sow the seed of discord among us. It doesn’t matter whether she’s doing it on purpose or not. We have to stop her.”
“I don’t get it. It doesn’t make sense for her to destroy a safe haven.”
“She might be too ill to understand that. She might be paranoid enough to think that we’re a threat to her safety.”
Sarah pointed at a patch of mushrooms growing near a tree. She thumbed through her book and showed Anna one of the images. “Are those the same? I’m not sure.”
“Better leave them then.” Anna spotted a ripe blackberry, picked it and popped it into her mouth. “What about Tom?”
“We’ll offer him the chance to stay with us, and just like last time, he’ll insist he has to go with her and take care of her.”
“He isn’t safe with her,” Anna protested.
“It’s his decision, Anna.”
“He’s still a child.”
“Not really. He’s survived on his own for weeks while taking care of his mother. He’s a young man, and we have to respect that.”
“I know. I know.” Anna wrinkled her nose. “But if he’s as afraid of her as you say he is, then we have to talk to him. Find out what else has happened.”
She wanted to ask him about Maggie. They needed a nurse, yes, but suddenly Anna was afraid that letting Chris stay had been a mistake after all.
And if that was the case, she had to fix it.
14
Chris was sitting outside Graham and Rose’s house with a steaming mug of instant coffee. The rising sun warmed her face.
Do I have to remind you what happened the last time you worked yourself up into this state? Anna’s words haunted Chris, and she pressed her hands against her ears as if that could somehow silence the other woman.
At least she listened to you, Maggie pointed out, her voice faint, as if talking to her from far away.
Chris opened her eyes, blinked in surprise. The voices had gone quiet since Chris had joined the settlement almost as if staying with other people had driven them away. That or the pills were finally working.
But how does she know about you? Chris asked Maggie. There was no reply. Anna had feigned ignorance, but she had to have been lying. Why else would she have used those words?
And there was only one reason Anna would know about Maggie: Tom had told her.
She’s dangerous, he’d said to Anna back in Harlow, and now he’d told her about Maggie because he wasn’t on Chris’ side. Her son wasn’t looking out for her.
He—
He loves you. Lester. Soothing. Calm. Always the voice of reason.
But it wasn’t soothing to hear his voice because he, too, was lying. Chris felt an unwelcome familiar companion stirring inside her. The anger that had been simmering in her stomach was now bubbling up inside her chest.
You abandoned me! she shouted at Lester.
A blackbird flapped its wings, chirped and flew off, and Chris realised she’d spoken out loud. Taken aback, she looked around, but there was no one nearby.
Tom had betrayed her before. Twice. He’d told both Anna and Maggie that she was dangerous.
Why are you surprised to find out that he’s done it again?
Chris sneered, curling her hands into fists. She would do her chores, eat with the others, joke and laugh. But she would be observing Tom. Anna. Graham.
They’d be watching her too.
She’d been right all along. Tom would never give her a second chance. He’d already made up his mind. Was he laughing at her behind her back as well?
She was a monster, and the only reason she’d been allowed to stay was because of her medical training.
It wasn’t fair that she had no one on her side, that no one understood that trust wasn’t an option in this new world.
Not for those who wanted to survive.
The only person anyone could trust was themselves. Everyone else was a potential threat. Shouldn’t they know that by now?
If they didn’t, t
hey’d only survived because they’d been lucky.
Chris scowled.
And why was no one else willing to make the necessary decisions?
She’d had to kill the stranger by the river. And she remembered how Maggie had looked at her after Chris had killed Liam.
Why was it always her responsibility?
She hadn’t asked for it. It wasn’t what she wanted.
Everyone else hid behind morals and ethics. Just like Lester had only ever wanted to be the fun parent. He’d never disciplined Tom.
That had always been her job.
Why couldn’t she be the fun parent?
She had hoped Anna would believe her but Graham—
Graham.
How dare he call me a liar.
And Anna had believed him. Just like that. Why wasn’t he scrutinised at all? Yes, she’d lived with him for two months but if Chris were Anna, she would have demanded to see the—
The inventory!
If only she could look at his notes, she could bring concrete proof to Tom. To Bob. To Anna.
And then they would have to listen.
The door opened, and Tom stepped outside. “Mum, I’m off with Bob and Rachel. We’re going to the chicken farm.” He fell silent, taking in her expression. “I saw you and Anna speaking to Graham last night.”
“He called me a liar.”
Tom stared at his shoes. “I’m sorry.”
“I didn’t lie. I know what I saw.” She realised she sounded like a defiant teenager, but she didn’t care.
“I know.” Tom squeezed her shoulder.
“It’s my job to keep us safe, and if Graham is tampering with supplies, we aren’t safe.”
“We could go somewhere else.”
“It’s almost October, Tom. We need to stay somewhere permanently. You don’t want to be without a roof over your head during winter.”
“I understand, but…please promise you won’t do anything else. You’ve told Anna. That’s enough for now.” She looked up at him. A shadow crept into his eyes. “I don’t want them to throw us out too.”
Chris pressed her lips into a thin line. “Have you told anyone about Maggie?”
Tom paled. “No. Why would I do that?”
“Just something Anna said…”
Darkness Ahead of Us | Book 3 | Darkness Lifting Page 14