He furrowed his brows. Sooner or later, he had to realize that staying with me was bad for his health. A bad idea all around. He rose to his feet, and I did the same to walk him out. Heart thrumming, I swung the door open and waved in the general direction of his car.
I swallowed my tears when he shuffled toward the door. Don’t look back. Just go. He braced his hand on the door, biting the inside of his lip. His blue gaze burned with the same intensity it had the day he showed me his scars.
I wanted to shove him out and get this goddamn goodbye over quick. I wanted to scream at him and tell him to go already, but if I opened my mouth, I knew I’d beg him to stay instead. These last few days had been less lonely with him in them. Hope had seeped into my head that maybe one day I could have a normal life with someone.
He slammed the door shut and gripped my waist, caging me against the wall. “They can’t tell us how to live our lives.” His mouth found mine in a desperate kiss that sent a shot of adrenaline through my body. He sucked on my bottom lip gently before his tongue pushed past my parted lips. I melted into him, kneading every hard plane on his torso and chest. “I want you. And I refuse to give you up again,” he whispered between ragged breaths. “I won’t.”
I threw my arms around his neck. “Stay.”
“I’m being selfish. You don’t care?” He brushed the back of his fingers over my temple and cheek.
“No. I’m being selfish too. I’m tired of being afraid. I keep wondering what we could’ve been if I hadn’t been so scared to let you in when we were in law school.”
“Me too.” He stuffed his hands in the pockets of his dress pants and cocked his head. “Would you like to have a coffee with me?”
I touched my fingers to my lips to hide a smile. That had been the question he’d meant to ask when he barged into the library and told me I should get a coffee. Not in a million years would I have guessed he’d be nervous to talk to me, or that he would want me.
“It’s almost five. How about a drink instead?”
“Am I overdressed for an afternoon of flamenco dancers?” He relaxed his stance.
Getting him out of that suit was a real shame, but he would stand out dressed like a city lawyer. “I’m sure we can find you something to wear.”
A date with Dom Moretti turned out to be as normal as I had hoped for. He craved normalcy as much as I did. We drove into town and stopped at one of the shops to buy him a change of clothes. As soon as we strolled in, the woman behind the register stood at attention. Her smile turned into a wide grin when Dom greeted her in a low, gentle tone. Why did he do that? Why did he assume women would be afraid of him? From where I stood, the store clerk looked like Christmas had come early. I rolled my eyes and grabbed a couple of jeans and a Henley shirt for him to try on.
“Fitting rooms are over there.” I shoved the clothes in his hands.
“Come with me. I need help getting out of these pants.” He snaked his arm around my waist, kissing my neck. Heat fluttered at my core. If I went in there with him, we would both end up in the county jail for indecent exposure.
“I’ll wait out here.”
“You thought about it.” He grinned.
“Yeah, I did.”
“Let’s have our date and then we’ll see where that takes us.” He kissed my cheek and went in the dressing room.
In minutes, Dom had changed out of his suit and into a pair of jeans that clung to his backside and muscular thighs like they’d been custom-made for him. The sleeves of his T-shirt stretched around his biceps as he threw his clothes into the bag the shop attendant had given him. I stood there watching him, pretending I didn’t have this jittery energy swirling in my chest. He took my hand and we strolled the rest of the way to the city center, where a live band played a slow drum beat that filled the air while fire dancers ambled to the middle of the square.
“Looks like they’re getting ready to start,” he said.
“There’s a wine tasting room over there. I bet we’ll have a good view from there.”
“Okay.” He flashed me his signature panty-melting smile. He could tell I was a nervous wreck. And why wouldn’t I be? Less than an hour ago, he’d almost left for good.
In the restaurant patio, he ushered me to the far end. The landscape to the right of our table looked like the painted backdrop of a western movie, complete with a pink and lilac sky adorned with puffy white clouds and a bright sun setting behind the Sedona Red Rocks. Was Sedona this majestic or did the hot blood rushing through me have anything to do with how colorful the desert marigolds looked? Or how slow they swayed in the cool breeze?
I plopped myself on the iron chair Dom offered me and waited with a schoolgirl grin while he rearranged his seat to face mine. When he sat, his knee burned the inside of my thigh. In spite of the raw charge between us, sitting here like this felt normal and familiar.
The beat of the drums echoed against my chest as the fire dancers created rings of fire with their torches in my peripheral vision, casting shadows on Dom’s chiseled jaw and full lips. He slipped his hand into mine and let me feel his warmth for a few seconds before he ran his hand up my bare arm. My pulse fell in step with the steady rhythm of the percussion, and I was overwhelmed by how much I wanted him. What I felt for Dom had always had this raw edge to it, fierce and unwavering. My eyes fluttered closed, and I surrendered to his touch with a shudder.
“Don’t be nervous.” He pressed my hand to his chest and smiled. “What do you usually do on dates?”
“I’ve never been on a date.”
He let go of my hand and swigged his wine. “Are you…?”
“What? A virgin? Ohmigod, no.”
A round of applause broke around us. Back in the square center, the fire dancers finished their act by extinguishing the torches with their mouths, leaving everyone in complete darkness until the porch lights in the wine bar came on.
“So, you just didn’t want to?”
“Dates can get tricky. And I’ve never had time for complicated.”
Why bother with getting to know someone if I knew at the end of the night or weekend, I’d have to leave and never see that person again. It was the same with all my relationships. For the most part, I’d managed to stay away from everyone, but every now and then loneliness would win over.
For many years, I told myself a quick tumble in the bathroom of some dive bar was all I needed, and maybe for a while it was, but then I started to feel resentful about the whole thing, especially when the occasional nice guy wanted to see me again the next day. I ran a finger along Dom’s jaw. I couldn’t remember the last time someone looked at me with this much interest.
“So, your number, are we talking several?” He braced his arms on his knees, holding my hands loosely in his.
“Does it matter?”
“No. Just trying to figure out how much you can handle.”
The usual electric rush flickered in my belly and rushed down to my toes. What did he have in mind? I leaned forward and pressed my forehead to his.
“I’m not afraid of you. A part of me says I should be. That I should run like I always do but an even bigger part of me wants to be with you. All of you.”
He lowered his gaze. “We probably should’ve gone back to Phoenix.”
“And miss out on our first date?” I ignored the mental picture forming in my mind of all the things we could be doing right now if we hadn’t stayed in Sedona. “You know, this is where Mom and Dad had their first date too.”
“Yeah? How did they meet?”
“Dad was very young when he started with the cartel. By the time he was twenty-two, he had enough money to buy a house. Mom sold him his first house.”
“And your mom, she didn’t care what he did for a living?”
I shook my head. “He was honest with her from the beginning. She said she could see there was good in him. I saw it too.” I shrugged. “He was my dad.”
He cradled my neck and kissed my lips. “I’ve never had
a girlfriend before.”
“Never? I seem to remember seeing a lot of women hanging around you in law school.”
He shook his head. “I always thought that if I showed too much interest, Mickey would try to use them against me. Turns out I was right.”
“He doesn’t own you.”
“I know. Problem is, he seems to have forgotten that.”
“I’ve been thinking about that. What would it take for Levi and Mickey to back down? How do we convince them we’re not a threat to them?”
“As long as you leave Levi’s family alone and don’t threaten to expose him, I think you’ll be fine. I wouldn’t be opposed to moving back to New York. With you.”
Was Mom right in thinking the only way to move on with our lives was to forgive Levi? Before Dom, all I could think of was retribution. I still wanted that for Dad, but ever since Dom waltzed back into my life, the price of revenge had doubled. If we moved back to New York, we’d have a chance at a happy life, a home, a family.
“I’d like to give that a try. I mean, we were fine before I dragged Mom back to Phoenix to look for Levi.”
“You came back to Phoenix for revenge and didn’t even have a plan?” He sat back in his chair. A cool breeze brushed between us.
“I guess not, but I came up with one fairly quickly after Jess found me. I almost didn’t recognize her when she showed up at the house.”
“What were you doing at the cemetery?”
Going to the cemetery that day to see Dad had been childish. Mom had warned me against it saying it was too dangerous. I missed him too much.
“I’d never seen his grave before. I wanted to make sure he’d gotten a real resting place.”
“And Jess just happened to be there?”
“I believe her. He was like a father to her too. You should’ve seen her. She was a hot mess. I had no reason to doubt her. She made me see how we needed each other. She didn’t think we could get Levi for murder, but she thought we had a shot at proving he was dealing.”
He linked his hands and placed them on the top of his head, staring at the rock formations in the distance where the sun had disappeared just a few minutes ago. “Emilia, there is no such thing as coincidences.”
“What do you mean? Do you think Jess was following me?”
“I think she was sent to talk to you.”
“Let’s ask her.” I placed my palm on his thigh.
“No. We’re done trying to get her to tell the truth. It’s obvious she only has one thing she cares about. And I don’t think it’s her daughter.”
“You’re being too hard on her. I know my cousin has her flaws. Her fear of Levi and her love for her children got her wires all crossed. I do believe she’s trying to do the right thing.”
Why did he always end up here? Jess would do anything to keep her daughter safe. I knew that without a shadow of a doubt. If she stayed with us, she’d never have to worry about having a roof over her head. She’d have all the money she would need or want if that was important to her.
“Jess knows Mom and I are the only ones who can help her.”
“Unless Mickey made her a better offer.”
“I don’t know. What could Jess possibly want that she doesn’t already have with us? We’re her family. We’re all she has left.”
Thing was, no matter how hard she tried, Jess was still afraid of her husband.
14
We’re In This Mess Together
Dom
After a nightcap in the living room, Emilia’s mom talked me into spending the night. She showed me to a room, and in a non-subtle way mentioned Emilia would be sleeping in the bedroom next to mine.
Going against what every fiber in my being told me to do, I agreed to stay. I shifted my weight on the too soft and too empty mattress. I tossed and turned for hours before I sat up. I swore I could still hear the sensual drumming of percussion.
Despite the cool air in the place, sweat beaded on my back. Did I do the right thing by staying? I supposed at this point I had no choice. The lawyer in me wanted physical proof Mickey was behind the shootings and Jess’s mood swings when it came to her husband.
The other side of me, the part that ran around with Mickey for over ten years, didn’t need the message fully spelled out. Mickey knew about Emilia. He knew I’d do anything to keep her safe. Anything.
I kicked the covers and swung my legs over the side of the bed. Pacing the length of the room and feeling like a caged animal, I stared at the connecting door to Emilia’s room.
Sofia was on my side, and it gave me hope that maybe this thing with Emilia might work out in the end. I padded over to the door and placed my ear against it. Great. Now I was stalking her in her own home. I stomped back to the bed and climbed in. If Emilia had wanted to spend the night with me, she’d be in my room by now.
The next morning, I woke up feeling like I’d only slept a handful of minutes, aching and tired. I tried to get comfortable in the bed to rest a little longer, but it was no use. I had to get up and drive back to Phoenix. I walked over to the bathroom and found a tray lined with toiletries. I showered and brushed my teeth. For clothes, my options were the suit I wore yesterday or the jeans Emilia had picked out for me. I opted for the latter and headed downstairs.
Emilia was already at the table drinking coffee. She wore her hair up in the usual ballerina bun that matched her clean-cut pantsuit perfectly, but not the other side of Emilia I’d had the fortune to meet. Her suitcase and laptop bag laid on the floor by the door. At least she had agreed to come back with me. Whatever waited for us in Phoenix, we’d face it together.
“Where’s your mom?” I asked.
“Out. She doesn’t like goodbyes.”
“Ready?”
“No.” She laughed. “You?”
“No.” I cradled her face and kissed her.
She wrapped her fingers around my wrist and met my gaze. “You didn’t run out in the middle of the night. Thought for sure you’d be gone before dawn.”
“Is that why you didn’t come to my room last night?”
“Maybe.”
“Whether you like it or not, we’re in this together.”
I ushered her to the door and grabbed her things. Out on the gravel driveway, Vic waited for us in Emilia’s car. I nodded to him. He started the SUV and followed closely behind us. By the time I merged onto I-17, Emilia relaxed her shoulders and laid back against the headrest.
Her instinct had been spot on. Out of fear for her, I’d held her back the day we thought Levi had come after her. Would we still be here if I’d helped her kill Levi at her Scottsdale home? Would Mickey still feel he had something to hold over my head if Emilia was free? Probably. Levi and Mickey were two mutually exclusive problems. Even if Mickey had somehow figured out a way to incentivize Levi.
Within the half hour, we left the Sedona cool air behind. The pine trees and red rock formations were replaced by brown and pale green shrubbery. The sun beat down on the asphalt and everything else with an intense heat I’d never felt anywhere else. How could anything survive out here? Amazing how all living things could not only adjust to the harshest conditions but also thrive.
“Are we lawyers or not?” Emilia’s voice brought me back.
“What?”
“All we have now is speculation. I need proof Mickey is behind this.”
“What do you have in mind?” I’d never been the type to lay back and take it, and neither was Emilia. This was the main problem. We had to stop playing nice.
“Screw Jess. I’m her attorney. Until I say otherwise, her divorce is still on. I’m texting Mom. She can’t let Jess near the phone or email again.”
“What do you need?”
“Can you schedule a follow-up deposition?” She faced me, a dead serious look in her eyes.
“You can’t possibly—”
She cut me off. “I am. I want Levi to know I’m alive. I want him scared. I want him to know he’s about to lose everything he h
olds dear.”
“Okay. So we’re back to the suicide mission plan. How do you know that’s how he’ll feel? What if he goes for a more murderous mood?”
“Yes. We’re back to the suicide mission. Or my original plan.” She tucked her ankle under her leg and shifted her body toward me. “I should’ve never strayed from it.”
“Except now, we have good reason to believe that your original plan was orchestrated by Mickey. To lure you out. And me.”
“That seems like a long shot to me. Why now? Why is Mickey all of a sudden dead set on getting you back?”
Yeah, why now? Maybe he thought I’d been gone long enough. Maybe he’d guessed I would do anything to keep Emilia safe.
“You know what? It doesn’t matter because now I know Levi wants more than what he already has. How else did Mickey get to him? I want in on that. When he sees me again, I’ll know if he knew I was alive, or if he was just acting under your old boss’s orders.”
“I don’t like it.”
“I’d rather have you with me when I go in, but you’re certainly not required to be there.”
“Fuck, Emilia. Of course, I’ll be there. When do you want to see him?”
“Today. Can you make that happen? If we have the element of surprise still on our side, I’d like to cash in that chip as soon as possible.”
I didn’t like this new-again plan of hers, but it was all we had. When I spoke with Levi before, he seemed relieved that the divorce situation had gone away. Was he really a family man? Or was there more to it? Maybe he’d been happy to be done with his so-called favor to Mickey.
I gave Emilia a slanted look. The Emilia from the bar was back, full of plans and unrealistic hope. I couldn’t help but want her even more, which scared the hell out of me. There wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do for her. If she asked, I didn’t know if I’d be able to plea for Levi’s life again. I’d probably finish him off myself.
I clutched the steering wheel and counted to ten over and over until the feeling subsided. That part of me died a long time ago. I couldn’t let it take over again. I wasn’t a killer. I fished my phone from the cup holder and called the office.
Ignite You Page 11