by Diane Allen
‘There you go again – you cannot let it lie. But yes, I’d welcome Jane into the studio to help me. She knows the basics already, and it would save me having to train someone else. I hope to be back next week, once I regain a little more strength in my leg. It would get Jane into a position that makes her feel more important. I don’t think she has appreciated having to learn the workings of the firm from the bottom up. I also think she may be a little jealous of Harriet helping you out. Perhaps Jane thought she would be given a better position in the firm, given that she is our daughter, despite not showing one bit of interest in using a needle.’ James hoisted himself up and looked out of the window. ‘Autumn is here, the beech leaves have turned already. It’ll soon be winter and then we will have problems getting ourselves into work, let alone Harriet getting there from up at Crummock.’
‘We’ve always managed, and if Harriet can’t make her way from Crummock, then I will have to do without her. I’m going to have to find somebody anyway, I think. We have so many orders and, to be honest, at the moment Harriet is a godsend, but all she talks about is her children and the farm. It’s a bit never-ending, and I switch off after a while.’ Isabelle walked over to James and stood beside him.
He turned to look at her. ‘I’m sorry, Isabelle, I didn’t mean to cause you all this worry. I’ve been stupid. I love you, and our family. It was a few moments of self-indulgence that ended in disaster. A disaster that none of us will ever forget. But maybe it can make our marriage stronger, if we can overcome it.’ He leaned on his walking stick and looked at Isabelle. How could he have been such a fool and have allowed his head to be turned by Madge, when the woman he truly loved had always been by his side?
‘I can never forget what you have put us through, James. It will never be the same, but we must make the best of it. For all our sakes.’ Isabelle’s eyes filled with tears; she had missed her soulmate, the man she had always loved. But now, hopefully, he was hers once more. Perhaps some good had come out of Jane’s rash actions. She only hoped so.
‘That’s good to see.’ Jane entered the room quietly just as her father kissed her mother tenderly on the brow. ‘At least you are not shouting at one another.’ She walked past her parents, her eyes still red from crying, after the lecture and strong talking-to that both parents had given her, following the terrible few hours she had endured, locked up in the police cell. She’d been made to feel so unsure of herself, and as if the world was conspiring against her. She had, however, realized just how fervent her friend Nellie Taylor was in defence of the suffragettes, and had listened to Nellie shouting from the next cell, as she too was caught and detained. Poor Nellie, would she still be there?
Even though her mother had told the police to do what they wished with Nellie, Isabelle did not want to press charges. Jane knew the reason behind this was to protect herself and the family, as she would have been called as a witness, and it would be another scandal that her family was involved in. What a fool she had been to get so involved. Nellie, on the other hand, would stand her corner and probably do something more serious next time, following the call of the Pankhurst sisters and their like. That was not for her; she had learned her lesson.
‘We were just talking about you, my dear. Your father and I have decided that perhaps it would be a good idea, on his return to work shortly, for you to help him in his studio, instead of being downstairs with Bert.’ Isabelle went and stood behind her daughter and put her hand on her shoulder. She hated to see Jane so upset. ‘Then perhaps, when he is not so busy, you could come and learn some sewing skills with Aunt Harriet and myself, if you wish.’ She glanced over to James for reassurance.
‘Yes, we’d work well together. You’ve always liked arranging the props and you’d get to deal with the customers, and that is what Atkinson’s is all about.’ James smiled at his daughter and made his way back to his chair.
‘That’s just it: you always think about what’s good for Atkinson’s. You never ask me what I’d like, or what I think!’ Jane hung her head and started sobbing again.
‘Jane, you are always first in our thoughts, along with Luke. We always do what is best for you both. Atkinson’s is yours as much as it is mine. I thought you loved the place; you’ve been a part of it since you could barely walk, and Grandmama used to take you around the shop with so much pride, knowing that some day you would step into her shoes and mine.’ Isabelle bent down and took her daughter’s hands. ‘You miss your grandmama, don’t you? We all do. And I threw myself into my work, wanting to prove myself, and forgot that you need attention, too. I’m sorry, my love. These have been terrible times for us all. I still miss my mama; she was such a strong woman to follow, and I know I’ll never have the respect she had.’ Isabelle held Jane tightly to her.
Jane sobbed even louder.
James looked at mother and daughter. ‘We will listen more to you, Jane. We forget that you are nearly a grown woman, and you should have more say in your life. But perhaps not to the extent of hurling stones at businesses down Skipton High Street. No matter how good the cause! Now dry your eyes and stop sobbing. Your mother and I have decided to make amends and, as she says, I would dearly like to have you as my assistant, if you wish. At least then you won’t have to put up with the gossip and the looks that the shop floor and warehouse staff will be giving you.’ James patted his daughter; he hated to see her upset. ‘Have a day or two off and let the dust settle, so to speak, then start back at work with me. We can be two outcasts together, if you are worried about the gossip. I’m sure your mother will agree.’
‘I’m not bothered what folk say, as I did nothing wrong. It was Nellie. But yes, Father, I would like to do that. If that’s alright with you, Mother? I do feel so ashamed that I let Nellie do it, and I’m sorry. It is because everyone’s been so wrapped up in themselves, and I have no one except old Bert Bannister to talk to. I miss Grandmama so much.’ Jane raised her head and looked into her mother’s dark eyes. ‘I love you, Mama, and I’m so sorry for all the worry I’ve given you.’
‘Don’t worry, my dear. I was just as headstrong at your age. You always hurt the ones you love, because they are the ones who love you the most and you know you can get away with it. We all have to vent our wrath occasionally.’ Isabelle looked up at her husband; he would never know just how much he had hurt her. It was true, she’d hurt those she loved around her too, with words of anger and her actions, most of which she regretted, with hindsight. The trouble was that time was a slow healer, and it would take a long time to amend the last six month’s happenings. Jane wasn’t the only one who felt unloved.
‘What’s the matter, Isabelle? Are you still worrying about the smashed window? It’s been replaced, and folk will soon forget about it.’ Harriet looked up from her sewing and waited for a reply from her sister-in-law, who had been in a mood with her all day. ‘It wasn’t as if Jane was responsible; it was her friend.’
‘It isn’t just that, Harriet. My life’s in such a mess. I just feel like crying. I didn’t think James would ever hurt me the way he has done. I’m trying to put on a strong face and hold the family together, but it is so hard. I’ve even let him back into my bed at night, but to be honest, I don’t want him near me, because all I think of is her and what they got up to.’ Isabelle stopped pinning the clothes on her mannequin and sat down next to her sister-in-law. ‘The business takes all my time, and my children feel neglected. And in all honesty, I didn’t realize just how much my mother did for our families. Since her death everything’s gone wrong, and even Archie never comes near me.’ Isabelle wiped away a tear that was falling.
‘Well, you don’t have to worry about Archie; he’s just content up at Crummock. You know he was never one for finery, and he’d be the first one to come to your aid if he thought you needed him. He doesn’t visit much because he knows you are all busy. Besides, he’s better with sheep than folk, as he tends to say what he thinks nowadays and doesn’t realize the consequences.’ Harriet smiled. ‘As for
the rest, things are bound to get better. It’s just been a bad year so far, so let’s hope 1914 will put an end to our run of bad luck.’
‘I still can’t believe that James cheated on me. I look at him and sometimes I want to slap his face. And what’s more, if Madge wasn’t already dead, I think I’d want to murder her, for all the hurt she has caused. To think it was going on under my very nose; they were probably touching each other in here.’ Isabelle looked around her and started to sob.
‘It’s not worth tears, Isabelle. She’s gone and James is back with you. Just make sure he doesn’t wander again. Stop dwelling on it, and welcome him back into your bed – it’s what we women have to do.’ Harriet breathed in deeply and looked across at Isabelle, who lifted her head and looked at her.
‘But you know nothing about how it feels, to be hurt by someone you love. Danny will never have looked at another woman since he married you. You’ve no idea of the pain Madge has caused,’ she sobbed.
Harriet hesitated. ‘No, Danny’s always been faithful since we married. But there was a time, just before we were to marry, that I found out he was not being faithful to me, and I never will forget the pain it caused me.’ Harriet stopped sewing and breathed in deeply. ‘Like you, I didn’t know what to do. I loved him so much and didn’t want to lose him. I couldn’t compete with Amy Brown – she was the talk of the Dales and the sweetheart of all the farm lads, with her easy ways. So I closed my eyes and ears and carried on with the charade of our courtship, in the hope that Danny would see sense some day.’
‘You knew about Amy Brown?’ Isabelle lifted her head and wiped her face. ‘And you still married him.’
‘Oh, so you knew, too? I should have guessed, for he always confided in you.’ Harriet looked at Isabelle. ‘Yes, I knew she was giving him something that I wouldn’t until we were married, but I still married him. Unlike Amy, I had my morals. And I knew that was why she was adored by half the male population.’
‘I told Danny what Amy was like, Harriet. I told him he was a fool. I didn’t say anything to you because I knew you loved him. It was just that Amy let him have his own way.’ Isabelle looked across at Harriet, with her head held high.
‘I know, you were torn between us. Don’t worry, Isabelle, I understand. What I’m trying to tell you, though, is that Madge must not come between you and James. She’s done what Amy Brown did to us – given James an easy distraction, and that’s all she was. Like Amy, Madge was someone who made him feel he was special when she lifted her skirts. When really it was both of us who loved them more.’ Harriet went and put her arms around Isabelle. ‘At least you haven’t the worry of knowing that a child was born from James’s fling. I sometimes wonder if Amy’s firstborn could be Danny’s, and I hear that he’s come back to live at Ragged Hall, which makes me worry even more.’
‘Oh, Harriet, I’m sure he won’t be Danny’s. She married someone from over Slaidburn. He’s just come to look after his grandfather while he’s unwell.’ Isabelle breathed in deeply and blew her nose.
‘We’ll see, because one day he will turn up like a bad penny, of that I’m sure, and I will know instantly if I’m right or not. Anyway, let’s get back to Jane. Bring her to me when she’s not busy helping her father and I’ll show her how to cut out a pattern. Then we will take it from there. It is what she should be doing: following in your footsteps. Although looking through the store today, I couldn’t help but notice how many people are purchasing our finished garments from our suppliers. The fact that people are able to make their own clothing now, too, means that I think our role in life may soon be forgotten, and only needed for very special occasions.’ Harriet went back to her sewing and put her head down.
‘I’m glad Mother left you shares in Atkinson’s, for you are still a part of the family and always will be, Harriet. And don’t you worry: Danny loves you and always will. And as for James, well, I’ve no option but to forgive him, for the sake of our family.’
21
‘Well, bugger me, you’ll never guess who’s just casually sloped back into the yard, with his mattress over his back and two dead rabbits in his hands, as if nothing’s happened.’ Danny came into the kitchen and looked at his father as he gazed out of the window.
‘It can only be Ethan. I told you he’d be back. What did you say to him?’ Archie turned around with a grin on his face. ‘Welcomed him back with open arms, did you?’
‘I bloody well didn’t. I asked him where he’d been and said that he’d no right to trail off like he did. I also said that he’d caused no end of worry, both for us here and for his parents.’ Danny pulled up his chair and warmed his hands next to the fire. ‘There’s a touch of frost out there this morning.’
‘That’s why he’s back – summer’s come to an end. He’s not daft, he knows where he’ll be warm and fed. You’ll have him now until spring and then he might need another wander. That is if tha wants him.’ Archie looked at his son.
‘To be honest, I’ve missed the little bugger. Happen I didn’t appreciate him when he was here. He kept the yard tidy and the horse harness was always polished, and the horses loved him. He’s a good hand with the two Clydesdales and we will start ploughing that bottom field to plant turnips before long. I should really send him packing, but he’s asked if he can talk to me this evening. He looked serious, so he knows I’ll not mince my words.’
‘This ’un will be glad. Have you heard your father, Rosie? Ethan’s turned up, as bold as brass.’ Archie grinned at Rosie, with her arms full of washing as she entered the kitchen. ‘Tha’s had a face as long as a wet weekend in Blackpool since he’s been away.’
‘What do I care about him? Ethan can trail where he wants. I hope you are not taking him back on, Father.’ Rosie stood with her sheets nearly falling out of her arms, secretly feeling her heart flutter as she heard the news. At the same time she was short with her words, for he’d left her in her hour of need and she couldn’t forgive him.
‘He wants to see me tonight. I told him to go about his work until then. I’ll have a think about it. Ethan is a law unto himself, but not a bad worker when he puts his back into it.’ Danny looked at his daughter, who seemed flushed. His father was right: since Ethan had been gone, Rosie had been miserable. Happen there was something he was missing here.
‘Well, regardless of what Grandpapa thinks, I’m not bothered if he stays or goes.’ Rosie turned on her heels and went quickly to the wash-house with her load.
‘Methinks the lady doth protest too much,’ Archie muttered.
‘I didn’t realize you knew Shakespeare, Father.’ Danny looked at the old man. ‘I do think tha’s hit the nail on the head – something that’s been happening since that day they both buggered off to Appleby together, now that I think about it.’ Danny rubbed his brow.
‘Well, we’ll have to see what he’s got to say tonight – he’s been up to something.’ Archie looked at his son. Danny had forgotten what it was like to be young, but Archie hadn’t.
Rosie quickly pushed the washing into the dolly-tub and started to stir the clothes with the posser. She’d wash the sheets, rinse them and hang them on the line next to the duckpond as soon as she could, regardless of the chill wind that was blowing. She had to see Ethan, before he spoke to her father. She thought of him while she pummelled the clothes. Where had he been, these past few weeks? What had he been up to, and why had he returned now? Happen he did care for her after all.
She swept her hair back from her face and leaned into the dolly-tub. The steam from the hot water hit her face as she lifted the sheets into the earthenware sink to be rinsed. The cold water was icy this morning, and she didn’t dally long before she threaded them through the mangle to get rid of the excess water. She swore under her breath as her sleeves and skirt got wet, leaving her arms and stomach cold to the touch. Then she carried the heavy washing basket out of the wash-house, across the yard to the green where the duckpond and clothes line were, sheltered by a small plantation of trees t
hat ran alongside the track down to Austwick. Even there the wind was biting, and Rosie wished that she had grabbed her shawl before setting about her task. Her hands were numb and red as she finally pegged the last of the sheets out and turned to look at them blowing in the breeze. Drops of water fell from them, as if they were white clouds full of rain, as she turned to shoo the goose that was Crummock’s guard dog from around her feet. She hated the honking bird; it was never quiet and had a habit of pecking you if you let it get near.
‘I see old Napoleon hasn’t lost his squawk.’ She turned and looked towards the garden gate and saw Ethan leaning over it. ‘He doesn’t know who his friend is and who his enemy is.’ He grinned; the grin that Rosie loved, the one that had made her his, on that fateful day of passion.
‘If it were up to me, I’d shoot the thing. Along with a few other things that are worth nowt around here.’ Rosie picked up her washing basket and walked over to him. She walked with a swagger, hoping to catch Ethan’s eye even more.
‘Now, Rosie Atkinson, you are not aiming your words at me, are you? There’s me come back specially to be with you, and I could be looking down two barrels, for all you care.’ Ethan opened the gate and leaned against it next to her. ‘How are you? How are things . . . you know?’ He nodded to Rosie’s stomach and looked worriedly at her.
‘You needn’t worry. In fact you need not have come back. I lost the baby, if indeed there was one there at all – I’m still not sure. Nobody knows, I managed to keep it to myself. I lost it through the night and cleaned myself up before anyone suspected anything.’ Rosie stumbled over her words. She’d needed him that morning; she’d needed Ethan’s arms to be put around her and tell her it was alright and that he loved her, but he hadn’t been there. She’d been alone with her loss and hadn’t even known where he was.
‘Rosie, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know. Are you alright? Did you not go to see the doctor? You should have told your mother.’ Ethan put his arm around her as she trembled, both with the cold and with the trauma of remembering the terrible night when she had lost her unformed baby.