by E. L. Todd
I ignored his comment and kept watching Skye and Ward.
“Dude, you’re making it obvious,” he whispered. “At least act like you’re watching the TV.”
I realized he was right and took his advice.
Skye and Ward kept talking, but eventually he stood up. “Thank you for having me over. I had a great time.”
Because all you did was talk to her.
“Thanks for coming. We’re here every Sunday if you want to drop by.”
I don’t think so.
Skye walked him to the door then handed him his clothes. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“I’m going to grab some coffee on the way. Chai Tea latte and asiago bagel?”
Seriously, I hated this guy.
“Yeah, that sounds great.”
“Good bye, Skye.” When he said her name, he annunciated it.
Creep.
“Bye, Ward.” She shut the door then made her way toward the living room.
Slade jumped to his feet. “I have to tell Trinity something.” He walked out without looking back. “See ya.”
Skye eyed him, but didn’t think it was suspicious because she started to clean up the pizza boxes and plates.
I came to her side and started to help her with the garbage.
She didn’t mention Ward or make conversation with me.
All I could think about was that charming asshole and how he impressed everyone he came into contact with. I had to know if something was going on between them. It was none of my business but I needed to know like I needed air. “Are you sleeping with him?”
Skye dropped the stack of boxes onto the table because she was so surprised by the perverse question. She stilled for a moment before she started to stack them again. “No.”
“Are you lying to me?” I stared her down until she met my gaze.
When she looked at me, offense was in her eyes. “I’m not a liar, Cayson.”
“That’s not what I remember,” I snapped.
She reacted like I had slapped her.
That was poor tactic and I knew it. My emotion was getting to me. “Why were his clothes here?”
“For one, it’s none of your business. And secondly, we went golfing after work but it was too hot. He left his jacket and tie here.”
“He couldn’t leave it in the car?” I asked incredulously.
“I don’t know,” she said. “He just forgot.”
“So, he comes over here often?” I demanded.
She dropped the boxes again. “I don’t understand this. You break my heart and tell me you don’t want me, but then you get upset if I see someone else. Cayson, if you want me just tell me. Because I still want you.”
I breathed hard while I stared at her.
“Ward is just a friend and colleague. I enjoy spending time with him as a friend, and he knows I’m hung up on you. He knows I’m in love with you. He knows I pass through every day hoping you’ll change your mind. You tell me we can never be together again, but then you come over and hold me like everything is okay. And then Ward shows up and you act territorial. You’re throwing out signals all over the place, and I have no idea what you want. So Cayson, what do you want? Because I sure as hell can’t figure it out.” Her chest heaved while she stared at me. I could tell she’d been bottling that up inside for a while.
I rubbed the back of my neck and sighed. “Skye, I love you. I always will. The idea of you being with someone else, especially so soon, makes me sick. I’ll always be jealous, even if ten years go by.”
“Well, I’m not with anyone else, Cayson. You’re the only person I want. I can’t count the number of times I’ve made that clear. So, please don’t insult me by assuming I’m sleeping with him. I don’t ask you the same question because I know you would never do that. Give me that respect. I know I lied to you before, but I’ve never given you any indication that I’ve wanted someone else but you.”
I put my hands on my hips and sighed.
“Cayson, please forgive me,” she whispered. “Just take me back. What do you want me to do?”
I looked at her and felt my heart fall. “I don’t know what I want you to do…”
“Every day without you is hard. I don’t want to do it anymore. We belong together, Cayson. I know we can work through this if you just try.”
I stepped back and turned around. “I want to…but I know I’ll just push you away when the anger comes back. I’ll always resent you for what you did. And that isn’t fair to you, Skye.”
“I don’t want to be with anyone else! Just try!”
I turned around. “I can’t! I can’t…”
“Then why did you hold me like that?”
“Because I miss you like crazy and I love you like a psychopath.”
“But that’s not enough?” she asked incredulously.
“I guess not.”
She paced the room with her arms across her chest. “I can’t keep doing this…I can’t keep hoping you’ll come back to me. It’s clear you aren’t going to. And you holding me and getting jealous over Ward isn’t helping. Stop leading me on, Cayson.”
“I didn’t do it on purpose.”
“If you really don’t want me, then it really shouldn’t matter if I do date someone else.”
“It does,” I said. “How would you feel if I were with someone else?”
“Not good.” Her eyes watered with tears. “But it’ll break my heart no matter how much time has passed.”
I covered my face and sighed. “I’m sorry…I wish things were different.”
“So do I…”
I crossed my arms over my chest while I stared at her. I hated myself for hurting her, for causing her more pain than I already had. I was relieved she wasn’t seeing Ward, but I felt worse because of that. I was being jealous when I wasn’t entitled to it. I wanted her to only want me the way I only wanted her even though I wouldn’t take her back.
I was an asshole.
Chapter Nineteen
Slade
The second I clocked out, I practically ran to Trinity’s apartment. There was nowhere else I’d rather be than with her. Her apartment was full of flowers and colors, and it had a natural fragrance to it that I’d come to associate with home. I loved sleeping with her at night. Ever since she got her new place, I was hardly at home with my parents.
I used my key to get inside then tossed it on the counter. “Baby, I’m home.”
“Hi…” Trinity was lying on the couch with a blanket wrapped around her. Her eyes were red and her nose was runny. She looked exhausted, like she’d just returned from a month long journey.
“Baby, you okay?”
“I’m just not feeling well.” She sniffed then adjusted herself on the couch.
I sat at the edge of the couch then felt her forehead. “You’re hot.”
She forced a smile. “I get that a lot…”
I chuckled. “I guess you don’t feel completely horrible.” My hand moved through her hair and down her neck.
“I just woke up this morning feeling crummy.”
I kissed her forehead. “I’m sorry you’re sick.”
“It happens…”
“You want some soup?”
“I don’t have any,” she said sadly.
“I can get you some. I’ll get you some Nyquil too. That’ll help you sleep. You want me to call your work and call in sick for you?”
“No, it’s okay.”
“As in, you’ll do it yourself?” I asked.
“No, I’m going to work tomorrow.”
“Um…is that a joke?”
“Look, it’s an internship.” Her tone immediately increased like she was expecting this reaction from me. “I can’t miss work. It’s already difficult as it is. I don’t want my boss to despise me more than she already does.”
“You think I give a damn?” I demanded. “People get sick. It happens. She can deal with it.”
“Slade—”
“Baby, I’m
going to save you some time. I won’t budge on this. If I have to go down there and scream at your boss, I will. This argument is done. Save your energy and your voice.”
She groaned and pulled the blankets tighter around her.
“Good, I’m glad you didn’t fight me this time.”
“Well, I feel weak.”
“I’m going to pick up your stuff. Is there anything else you want while I’m out?”
“Well…maybe one thing.” She had a playful look in her eyes.
“What?” I leaned close to her.
“A chocolate and strawberry milkshake.”
I smirked. “Whatever my baby wants, she gets.”
“Yay.”
“I’ll be right back.” I kissed her forehead again then left.
***
When I came back, she was in the exact same spot as before. “I got you the mega size.”
“Good,” she said. “My throat hurts.”
“I can put something inside it, if you want…”
She rolled her eyes then chucked a pillow at me.
I laughed then got her soup ready. Then I put it on the coffee table. “Eat up.”
She went for the milkshake first and took a deep drink. “Oh, that feels good.”
I moved behind her then lifted up her shirt. Then I rubbed her back while she ate her soup.
“Wow…I should get sick more often.”
I chuckled then rubbed the back of her neck while she ate. When she was done, I cleaned everything up and washed the dishes. “It’s time to take a shower.”
“A shower?” she asked.
“And then bedtime.”
“Slade, you should probably go. I’m going to get you sick.”
“I don’t get sick.” I got the shower going then returned to retrieve her.
“Seriously, just go. I hate being sick and I don’t want you to feel like this.”
“Stop talking.” I lifted her from the couch then carried her into the bathroom. Then I undressed her while I held her up at the same time. After I got my clothes off, I helped her in the shower.
“Now I’m definitely going to get you sick,” she said.
I lathered the shampoo in her hair then soaped her up. “I’d rather be sick with your than be well without you.”
Her eyes softened.
“Now shut up and let me clean you.”
She sighed. “You can be so sweet, and then it disappears.”
“It makes you appreciate it when it does happen. Like, when a comet flashes across the sky. It happens so quickly you aren’t sure if it happened.”
“Why can’t it be like the sun, always there every morning?”
“Nah, too much pressure.” I guided her under the water then rinsed her hair.
She stared at me through the water. “How was work?”
“It was fine,” I said. “I’m doing more cool stuff so that’s fine.”
“I’m happy for you.”
I soaped her stomach and then the skin over her ribs. When I touched her under the water, I got hard. I couldn’t hide my arousal and I didn’t bother feeling ashamed. Whenever I was around her, I was always in the mood. As soon as I walked in the door, sex was on my mind. The fact she was sick messed that up. After I got her clean, I turned off the water and dried her off.
“I feel a little better now.”
“I knew you would.” I carried her into her bedroom.
“I can walk, you know?”
“Why when you have a man to carry you?”
“Good point,” she said.
I got her a clean change of clothes then helped her get them on. Her hair was still wet so I patted it dry with a towel so she wouldn’t get worse. “Bedtime.”
“It’s nine.”
“You need to rest.”
She groaned in response.
I got her in bed then tucked her in. Then I lay beside her, keeping her skin warm with the burn of mine.
She turned to me and snuggled in my side. “Do you mind?”
“No, baby.”
She hugged me like a teddy bear.
I liked it when she made me feel needed, that she needed me beside her in order to feel safe enough to fall asleep.
“I can’t sleep,” she whispered.
We usually had sex before bed. It was hard to fall asleep without that usual release. I never had sex with a sick person before, but there was a first time for everything.
I moved over then yanked her bottoms off.
“No,” she said. “I’m going to get you sick.”
“Stop talking. It’s annoying.” I moved over her then slipped inside her.
She gripped me and moaned loudly, enjoying me the second I was inside her.
I rocked into her slowly but didn’t kiss her. The idea of touching my mouth to hers when she had a sinus infection grossed me out.
She suddenly gripped my arms like she usually did when she was going to come. “I…I…”
I stopped moving because it was such a weird thing to say.
She turned and sneezed loudly, getting snot all over her side of the bed. She sniffed and tried to wipe the snot away.
Okay…there goes my boner.
“Sorry,” she muttered. She sneezed again.
I went into the bathroom and retrieved a box of tissues. Then I handed them to her and cleaned her side of the bed.
She blew her nose then wiped everything away. “Uh, I’m so disgusting. I’m sorry.”
I didn’t say anything and left the box on her nightstand. Then I got back into bed.
“I’m so embarrassed.”
“Why?” I dragged her to my side of the bed then moved over her.
“What are you doing?”
“Finishing,” I said with an attitude.
“Slade, it’s gross.”
“Hey, I never stop until the job is done.”
She rolled her eyes. “You’re being ridiculous right now.”
“Just don’t sneeze on me.” I moved inside her again then moved slowly.
Fortunately, she didn’t sneeze again. We both finished then snuggled in bed.
“Please don’t tell anyone,” she said.
“You know I never would.” I moved my fingers through her hair.
“Not even Cayson?”
“There’s a lot of stuff I don’t tell him.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Our relationship is private.”
“You don’t tell him all the dirty stuff we do?” she asked incredulously.
“Well, of course,” I said. “But not the special things.”
“Making love isn’t special?”
“It is,” I said. “Which is why I don’t tell him.”
She seemed confused so she stopped asking questions. “I still can’t sleep.”
I rubbed her back and tried to put her to sleep. Then I eyed my guitar in the corner. “You want me to play you a song?”
“I’ve never heard you play before.”
“Would you like to?” I asked.
“Of course, I would.” She sat up and looked at me.
I grabbed my guitar then sat at the edge of the bed. I found my pick and made sure the instrument was tuned.
“Will you sing?” she asked.
“Yes.”
Her eyes lit up in excitement.
I decided on the song and began to play.
Falling free,
My head in the clouds.
Unspeakable need,
My heart in the mound.
Loving her
Was never simple
But forgetting her
And those dimples
Wasn’t the way.
Against all odds, she and I fought.
Her dad didn’t approve of me, said I was worth nought.
And while that’s true, she’s never cared.
Even if I were scarred and marred.
I continued the song, my foot tapping the floor as I played.
She stared at
me the entire time, her thoughts unknown to me.
When I finished, I put down my guitar.
Her eyes were coated with emotion. “That was beautiful.”
“Really?” I asked.
“I’m honored you played for me.”
“Well, you’re my number one groupie.”
She grabbed my arm and pulled me back to bed. “Your only groupie.”
“Same thing.”
She snuggled closer to me then looked into my face. “Who was that song about?”
I smirked. “You really can’t figure it out?”
She rubbed my forearm. “Me?”
“All my songs are about you,” I whispered.
“They are?”
“I never wrote romance songs before I met you. If I ever talked about women, it was usually about screwing them in the back of a van outside a concert.”
“Well, I’m glad I don’t have those type of songs.”
“Well…there might be one or two.”
Her eyes widened.
“But it was tastefully done.”
She smiled while she rubbed my arm. “You’re the greatest man I’ve ever known.”
“Me?” I asked incredulously.
“Yeah.”
“What did I do to earn that title?”
“Just being you, all the good, the bad, the beautiful, and the ugly.”
I wrapped my arms around her and held her close. “The bad and the ugly always existed. But you brought out the good and the beautiful.”
“I don’t believe that,” she whispered. “You’ve always had it in you.”
“Then why hasn’t anyone ever brought it out before?” I questioned. “It had to be you.”
She rubbed my chest then closed her eyes, the exhaustion finally taking her.
I watched her, content with watching her face. It was too early for me to go to bed, but I was fine as long as I got to stare at her. I watched her lids become heavy, and then eventually, her chest started to rise and fall with a natural cadence. Her hands were still pressed to my chest, like she was feeling my heartbeat.
My life took an unexpected course when I got drunk and fucked her against a wall in the middle of the snow. At the time, I thought I made the biggest mistake of my life. We were never good friends to begin with, but I thought I ruined any possibility of having a friendship with her when I let my hard dick control the situation. Never did I expect it to be the beginning of a beautiful, meaningful, and loving relationship that we now had.