by Jaci J.
Pulling myself out of those thoughts, I focus my attention back on Tank. His eyes are intent on me.
“Like I told you before, I don't remember a whole lot. I hadn't seen him for a month or two before that day. You know Crow steered clear of me. Why?”
Taking the blunt back, he takes a hit and hands it back to Tank. As he speaks, the smoke escapes his mouth.
“Just tryin' to piece this shit with Draco together. Wonderin' why in the fuck they're gunnin’ for you, for us. You didn't overhear shit? Josh didn't tell ya anything?”
Shit no. Josh and I were a couple, but that's about it. He didn't talk to me like that. We spent time together occasionally. More than anything, I was just an in with the club and a girl to fuck. I thought I loved him, but I think it was more of liking someone desperately who wasn't nearly as invested or interested in the relationship than I was. My need for him to want me as much as I wanted him looked a lot like love to me at that age. Having been in other relationships, I know that ours couldn't have been further from love. I was a possession. I was his ticket in to the club. His obsession with owning me looked a lot like love to me. Now I know differently.
“Stitch, you know I don't and didn't know anything. You told me more than he did. Fuck Stitch, you and me spent more time together than him and I did.”
Nodding he takes another hit savoring the smoke. Handing it back to Tank, he gets up pushing himself off the chair. “Alright. You think of somethin' that might help, let me know.”
Doing a manly handshake thing, Tank and Stitch nod at one another. Leaning down, Stitch kisses my forehead and ever so slightly Tank's hold on me tightens.
“You know I love ya, sis. Just tryin' to take care of ya.” Stitch leaves the room and I slump into Tank. Jesus Christ, I really do hate talking about Josh.
As soon as the click of the door sounds, Tanks eyes are on me. Concern plagues his face and his gaze is warm and serious.
“Nothin' n' nobody is going to get to you. I know you’ve had some real close calls, and I wasn’t there in time and that fuckin’ kills me. I swear to you Lil, right fuckin’ now, on everything, any motherfucker wants to get to you, they're goin' through me first baby.”
As far back as I can remember, I've always had an army of family for protection. I've always had fierce mamas guarding my front. A father who ferociously protected my back. Brothers looking out for my best interest. Not once have I actually felt that safety.
Leaning into Tank I wrap an arm around his middle and pull him as close as I can get him. With Tank I feel it. I can feel that safety from head to toe.
“Thank you.” His eyes flare.
Leaning his face towards mine he whispers, “Don't ever thank me for keepin' you safe. Fuck, it's why I'm here baby. No matter the circumstance, no matter the place, or the person, I'll always have your back. Until the day I'm no longer breathin', I'll be here to keep you safe.”
The kitchen smells like cinnamon and bacon, which is one of my favorite smells. French toast on the griddle. Bacon baking in the oven. Potatoes on the stove browning.
Chopping onions for the potatoes at the kitchen island, I look up at Cali and Peaches. Both look like they've had a rough night. They’re all slumped in their seats, make-up smeared, hair out to there. Peaches is wearing a sports bra and shorts. Cali is still in Stitches tee. Cali's face is buried in a cup of coffee while Peaches head is rested on Cali's shoulder. Both hung over and looking like they need naps.
“Shit, I feel like fuckin' death,” Cali grumbles into her cup. She looks it too.
“Fuck that. I feel like what Bubbles face looks like, that fucking cunt.” I can't help but laugh. Cali grins but adds,
“I'm serious. You fucked her face up boo. Saw her a few hours ago. Black eye. Busted up nose, black and blue face. Puffy swollen lips with a big bloody split. God it's awesome. Stupid fuckin' gash.”
Tank walks into the room smiling when he hears our conversation.
“What 'bout gash?” he asks with a laugh. He's followed by Stitch .
“Gash, my favorite topic,” he jokes pretending to look around the room. Cali shoots Stitch a hard glare.
“Shut up. No one likes nasty gash.”
Waggling his eyebrows, he throws a thumb to his chest and states, “This guy like nasty gash.”
Laughing, Tank shakes his head.
“Touch gash and I'll kill you,” Cali warns Stitch, grabbing the knife from my hand. Holding his hands up, he leans into her. Kissing her lightly he says, “Duly noted, babe.”
Breakfast is ready and it brought in the family. Hung over people start to filter in, brought in by the tantalizing smell of bacon. Sitting at the big fourteen person table in the large kitchen at the club, we all eat, talk loudly, and argue about nothing. Passing food around we all laugh and smile. Me, Tank, Stitch, Cali, Rampage, and Tags sit on one side. Gin, Peaches, Tiny, Kiki, Happy, and Mini on the other side. My dad’s at one end and Leo at the other. Crush, King, and Sargent are at the island bar. And of course, Mary is in the kitchen insisting on cleaning up instead of eating. The only person missing is mom. She would be seated right to my Dad's left. I wonder if it'll always be hard not seeing her face at the table, around the club, at get togethers, or at the house? She was always the heart of the family.
“Who's lovin' gash?” Happy asks no one in particular the instant his ass hits his seat, bringing me back to that oh so lovely breakfast conversation. Tank laughs and Cali glares.
“Gash, huh? Which one?” Tags says looking around.
“Me. I’m the one who loves some gash,” Leo laughs.
Rampage slaps his hand on the table and bursts with a laugh. “Yes! Gash talk over breakfast. The best way to start my fuckin' day.”
Peaches makes a gagging nose, “Gross. No gash talk while I'm eatin' unless ya want me to throw up.”
That's how our breakfast goes. Talking about anything and everything inappropriate. The next hour passes in a blur of food and conversation. Partying with everyone is fun, but this is what I love.15
29
Tank
It's a lazy ass Sunday around the club. Brothers hanging around playing pool, bullshitting at the bar, or working on odds and ends around the shop. A few of the girls are hanging out.
Walking out back of the club I lean myself against the building. Nursing my beer, I watch Lil. Her backs to me, her body's position is straight and tall. Well, as tall as her little body can be. Her stance tight, legs spread and that long dark hair hanging down to the middle of her back. My hands start twitching to grab onto it. Cut off jean shorts, my eyes start roaming the planes and curves of her toned tanned thick legs and perfect ass. Sun glasses cover those brown beauties, and her arms are straight and locked.
My baby's got a three-eighty in her hands pointed at a target and a smile on those plump pink lips. Pulling the trigger, she unloads the clip into that target.
“Perfect shot, sis. Ain't forgot shit,” Gin says with a shit eatin' grin. Without saying a word, she sets the gun on the upside down bucket next to her legs. There’s a rifle leaned up against the bucket, along with a few other guns.
Picking up a Glock Nineteen, she reloads it and empties that clip.
I watch my girl, paying attention to every single curve of her perfect body, a body I could spend countless hours exploring and workin’. It's a fucking sickness. The need to touch her, feel her, taste her constantly has me forever strung out on her.
Throwing her hair over her shoulder, she looks at me and those lips tilt into a beautiful full watt smile for me.
“Baby,” her voice like pure sex. It's enough to make me hard. “Like my targets?” she asks with a little giggle. Pointing the gun at the target she smiles gleefully. Her, Gin, Rampage, and those damn zombie targets.
“Teachin' Lil to kill zombies once the plague hits,” Rampage says with a serious nod.
“Will you two stop fillin' her head with shit.” Jesus Christ. It's bad enough with her love of all things horror movi
e. The scarier the better for her. Now they've got her obsessed with zombies and all that shit.
“Hey motherfucker, we're just preparin'. I don't wanna hear your ass bitchin' when a zombie is gnawin' off your fuckin' leg.” Gin hands Lil a shotgun next. “Because that happens, we're gonna leave your ass behind and let the zombies eat you,” Gin says over his shoulder.
Lil smacks his arm. “We're not leavin' Tank,” she says glaring at him.
“Yeah so fuck off Gin.” Walking up behind her I wrap my arms around her middle, kissing just behind her ear and she melts right into me. “Got somethin' to do baby. I'll be back.”
Nodding, she turns in my arms, throwing hers around my neck… all while still holding onto her gun. “Okay. Be careful.” She smiles softly. For a moment, she looks like she wants to say something, but changes her mind. “I'll see you in a bit.”
Walking back into the club a few hours later, people are moving about the place. A few brothers are at the bar drinking, some playing pool, and a couple guys playing video games. I can hear guys in the shop, too. The club sluts are scattered around with the brothers, and all I want is Lil.
“Shit cleaned up with that line?” Low asks me. Nodding, he slaps my shoulder happily. “Good, good brother.”
Lately he's been leaving shit for me to clean up. I feel like it a test I didn't know I was taking. I feel unprepared, but there isn't shit I can do about it.
“Shit done for right now?”
Giving me a final nod he says, “Yeah.”
Walking down the long back hall to my room I can't help but feel like I'd rather be home with Lil right now. Earlier she texted saying that her, Peaches, and Gin were going to run errands. So not only would I rather not be here, but I've got to be here without Lil.
Kicking my door open, I see her instantly. My heart hits my stomach. Lil’s wrapped up in the blankets on my bed and my pillow curled into her. She's wearing my tee and nothing else. Instantly a smile finds my lips and my heart stutters with pure unfiltered happiness settling in over me.
Leaning against the door frame, I take her in. Today her hair is in a mess of curls. Usually it's long and straight, but today it's wild, just like her. I study her, that perfect face peaceful and at ease. She sighs in her sleep and I swear to God I feel it in my soul. That sound melts all the hard shit inside of me. She just makes perfect sense. No matter how bad I think I am, with all the bad things I do daily don't matter. No matter the shit I try to tell myself, no matter how hard I fight the feeling, I know I'm lying to myself. I love her. I think I've loved her since she walked that bad ass of hers into the Church. The moment I laid eyes on her, I fell in love.
Shutting the door behind me, I toss my cut onto the chair. Pulling my shirt over my head, I toss it with my cut then my jeans hit the floor. Slipping under the blankets with her she instantly finds me. Even in her sleep she knows I'm here. I love that shit. Wrapping her body around me I throw out a prayer and thank God she walked into the Church, and into my life.
“Tank,” she mumbles softly against my chest. Wrapping a hand up in her hair, I pull her as close I can get her and her legs tangle up around mine. Her arms wrap around my middle.
“Hey babe.” Kissing her forehead, she sighs contently again. Yeah I fucking love this girl.
“Could you hand me another?” Reaching into the cooler, I pull her out another beer. Reclined in a lounger, Lil is leaned back against my chest. The fire is smoldering and the crew is hanging around. Lil's hanging off to my side talking to Peaches. They're both laughing and chattering. The sound of Lil's laughter settles somewhere deep in my heart.
“Will you stop tryin' to get me drunk.” Lil stops her chatting and gives me a dramatic eye roll. "Lemonade." She demands putting her hand out to me. She can't blame a guy for trying.
Putting the beer back, I pull her out another lemonade. Gin comes walking over, smashing his wrapped fists together. I can see Rampage over on the other side of the yard jumping around acting like a caged fucking animal.
“Swear to God Rampage, you fuck his pretty face up, I'll kill you,” Peaches yells over to Rampage. He only waves her off and continues his insistent hopping. Fucker is making me dizzy from all the bouncing.
Lil leans her back against me. “I hate when they do this,” she states. Well she's really not going to like it here in a minute.
Gin hops up into the old gym ring. I've no idea where that old decrepit thing came from, but it's been here as long as I have. Both of them touch fits.
“Bow down bitch,” Rampage chuckles.
Gin shakes his head and grumbles, “You're a fuckin' idiot.”
This makes Rampage laugh more. “May be the case, but I'm the idiot that's 'bout to land ya on your ass, sucka.”
Gin throws a punch and gets a good crack at Rampage's jaw. Gin's a tough dude. He and I go rounds, it's a fair fight, but we are talking about Rampage here. A motherfucker who's had to fight for his life his entire childhood. Spent a good deal of time locked up and fighting. He's the toughest motherfucker I know.
“That all ya got bitch?” Rampage jibs Gin. And with that, Rampage lands Gin on his ass.
Rampage throws his hands in the air, smiles, and says, “Ding! Ding! Bitch, I win!” Doing his little stupid dance, he points to me. “You're next my friend.”
Spinning around, Lil gives me a mean little glare. Those beautiful brown eyes are spitting fire. There's my baby. I've no doubt I'd much rather fight Rampage then Lil any day. I'd never win against my little love, because she's one bad fucking bitch.
30
Lil
I woke up cold and alone in Tanks bed. I vaguely remember Tank kissing my forehead before leaving, and saying something about taking his truck due to it raining, but I'll be damned if I can remember anything else he said.
Stripping off Tanks tee, I go to take a quick shower. Leaving my hair wet, I style it curly. Curly means I do nothing to it, which means by the time it dries it'll be wild. Oh well. Throwing on some nice jeans, a white tank, and a gray cardigan, I round out my look by some cute gray TOMS. I slap on a little makeup and I'm ready.
Yesterday I'd gotten a long awaited email from an old Professor offering me a head Teacher’s Assistant job at my old College in the History department. Completely torn, but smart enough to know that this is a once in a lifetime offer, I set up a meeting today with him. I had tried to tell Tank, but every time I'd try to talk to him, something would come up. He'd be too busy or preoccupied, and after that little fighting stunt, I was a little too mad to tell him. I don't want to leave him, but then again this is an amazing opportunity. I guess it’s better I hear what the offer is before I go and tell Tank and possibly piss him off for no reason.
Who knows, it could be something I'm not interested in.
Grabbing up my purse, I head for my Jeep. Getting in I fire it up. Digging through my purse for my phone, I come up empty handed.
Well shit.
I left it in Tanks truck last night after it had died. Damn it.
Turning off the jeep, I run back inside and try to call him. Listening to it ring it brings me to his mailbox, which of course has not been set up. Seriously? I try him again, but get nothing. When I get home, I'm setting the stupid thing up for him. I've got no idea what his burner number is so I try Gin instead. And of course, I get nothing. And guess what? No fucking mailbox either. I don't know anyone else's numbers off hand, so fuck it.
Heading out, I figure I'll be back before him anyways. I feel bad for not letting Tank know, but since he's unreachable I really have no other choice, because I'm not missing this meeting.
The two hour drive isn't too terrible. Pulling into the city, A slight pang of being homesick hits my gut. I forget how much I love the city. Driving down my old street, I pass my apartment which is empty and waiting for me. How sad.
Pulling into the History buildings lot, I try to stamp down my excitement. Walking inside I go to Professor Wagner's office.
“Come on it,” he cal
ls as soon as I knock. Walking into the office, my old teacher beams at me. “Ms. Lilly Cruz. I'm so glad you could make it in. How has one of my favorite students been?”
Ten minutes out from the compound, I can't keep the excited energy contained. I've been bouncing in my seat the entire drive home. Mr. Wagner had all but offered me my dream job. Besides being the head Professor, it's the next best thing. He'd said he had two more interviews that afternoon, but they were pretty much for show. The University required him, at the very least, to grant three interviews. He'd said I had the most education and background for the position so basically, I was a shoe in. He'd sent me on my way, excited and nervous. The next step was waiting for the phone call.
Pulling into the compound, I see the guys bikes parked out front. Okay, so I didn't beat Tank back. Hopping out of the Jeep I head in, bringing my thrilled energy with me.
As soon as I'm through the front doors, I know shit has hit the fan. Usually when you walk in its loud. People chatting. The noise from the shop drifting around, pool balls crashing into one another, music.
When I walk in, its dead silence. All eyes in the room swing in my direction. Oh shit, I'm in trouble. My thrilled energy dies at the front door.
“Jesus Christ Lilly,” Stitch grumbles with his head in his drink, he won’t even look at me.
“Lilly?” Tank's big hard mean body storms around the corner. His face filled with a rage I've never seen before. It's a rage that actually scares me a little. If I'd never felt his tenderness before I'd say he's a hateful person by the look on his face right now.
Phone in one hand, gun in the other and Gin on his heels, Happy on Gin's.
“Where the fuck you been Lilly?” Tanks cold mean voice hits my ears from across the room, His body rigid. Not only did my excitement die at the door, Tank just stomped all over it.