by Claire Angel
Those were the exact words that he had told me before when he had left for the first time. I had known, that was because of me and him almost being together. Once he realized, that couldn’t happen, that was it for him. Jessie took off and I hadn't seen him since then really. Only a few times when we ran into each other was because of Phillip.
“I guess you can say that if you want to. There were plenty of things here for you, but you didn't want to take the time to find out.”
I stopped myself and shook my head. I don't know what the hell he was doing. Every time I was around Jesse something just came over me. I wasn't able to think straight and was having one of those moments right now.
“Well, things got too complicated here. Let's just put it like that.”
“They are not so complicated now. I am getting married. You moved to the city and my brother is there most of the time. You guys left me here to my own devices and now I have found Steven.”
“Do you love him?”
If it would have been anybody else to ask me, I would have immediately said yes. I don't even know if that was true or not, but that's what I would have said. That is what a person is supposed to say when they're about to get married to someone else. But for one reason or another, I couldn't say it out loud. Not to Jesse
“Why would you ask me such a thing?”
“I just want to know if you are happy and you love him. It's not a trick question Amber.”
I moved away from Jesse and gave myself a little space. The kitchen was feeling like it was shrinking, and he was taking up all the room. I knew that I needed to get away from him. I wouldn't be able to think straight when he was standing right there. Why the hell would my brother have brought him back?
“Love is a strange thing, isn’t it? Sometimes it is wrong.”
“That isn't a very good answer Amber.”
“What kind of question is that to ask Jesse? I am about to marry the man. Of course, I love him.”
“Then why didn't you just say that? That was a whole lot of ifs and buts before you said it. Are you sure it's the truth?”
I was started to get irritated with his questioning. He had no right to ask such questions to me. We did not have anything going on. There had been a time when I thought that something might happen, but it never did. Jesse never tried, so I gave up on him. Why was he here now to mess with my head? I had completely lost my cool.
“Yes, I love him, Jesse. Is that what you wanted to hear?”
He nodded his head, that it was exactly what he wanted to hear, but I could tell from his expression on his face, that it wasn't true. It was most likely the last thing that he wanted to hear from me.
“I just want you to be happy Amber. As long as you are happy, nothing else matters.”
There was a moment, I wanted to come clean with all my feelings. I knew that I could tell nobody else, but for some reason, I wanted to tell Jesse. I knew that he wouldn't tell anybody else, but at the same time, I didn't want to show vulnerability. When I was around Jesse, I felt vulnerable and it wasn't something that I liked very much.
“I am happy Jesse. I just hope that you and Phillip aren't here for other reasons. This wedding is going to happen, whether you guys like it or not.”
I had a lot more confidence than I felt. The way he was looking at me right now was hard for me to stand immune to. Did he feel the same way that I did? Did he still have the same yearnings that I couldn’t seem to get rid of?
If he did, what was he doing here?
Chapter 3
Jesse
“S o, what did you and my sister talk about?”
“Her new husband and marriage. She seems to be happy Phillip. Are you sure that you want to do this? You can’t keep meddling in her life. One day, she isn’t going to invite you to these kinds of things anymore.”
“I know, but not this one. Once you meet him, you will see what I’m talking about. He’s just not right for her. He is too much of a player and I don’t want her marrying him.”
“So how are we going to get Amber to see the error of her ways?”
He smiled at me, one of those big grins that were kind of contagious and I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to say to him. He had a plan and it wasn’t going to be a good one by the look on his face.
“We are going to help her to see it. What else would we do? He is trash and I know just how we are going to prove it.”
I sighed to myself and wondered how it was all going to turn out. I didn’t think it would turn out well, but I was here, and I was along for the ride apparently.
Phillip gave me a rundown of his plan and I just kind of shook my head several times throughout. It wasn't that good of a plan. And if I knew Phillip the way I did, I had a feeling that he was going to make sure that it ended with violence.
Phillip was always up for a fight and the way he talked about Steven, I knew that it was going to end up that way. My only hope was that I didn't get dragged to jail with him. There was also a tiny twinge in the back of my mind, that wondered if this was the right thing to do.
But Amber didn't say that she loved him. Not really. So maybe Phillip was right.
Phillip’s big plan was to go out with Steven. We had a bachelor party to go to, but Phillip didn’t want to wait. He was sure that I could talk to Steven and find something in the man’s past to bribe him with.
If that didn't work, then he would find a girl that caught his eye. From there, his plan was just to wing it. That's why I thought it would end with Phillip taking down Steven. I had never met the guy, but I knew that's what my friend was already thinking about. If talking didn't work, then violence was the next option for him.
We were supposed to go out and get drinks. Phillip and I are already at the bar and we were waiting for Steven to get there. Phillip gave me the rundown about Steven. He was some kind of doctor. I'm not sure what the specialty was, but I guess just being a doctor was good enough. It was certainly out of my realm.
“So, if this guy is a doctor Phillip, then why do you want to break this up? I mean, don't you want your sister to be happy?”
“My sister isn't happy. She doesn't really love him.”
I gave him a look that said I wasn’t sure if he was right or just fishing.
“I can tell.”
Phillip was meddling with his sister's life again and I didn't know if I wanted to be part of it. Amber was not going to be happy. She almost expected it because of what we've done in the past. Did I really want to keep doing this?
“I don't think we should do this Phillip. Amber is not going to be happy.”
“It is for her own good. You know how she is sometimes. She doesn't think.”
“Your sister isn't little anymore. She's all grown up. And this just doesn't feel right.”
“I know that you think I am just getting up in her business. That no one is ever going to be good enough for her, and in a way, you're right. But trust me Jesse, I am telling you that there is something not right about this guy. Meet him first and then tell me what you think.”
I thought about what he said for a moment and there was a glint in his eyes that I knew well. While my friend was ridiculous most of the time and he got into way too many fights, most of them were to help somebody else out. He wanted to protect everyone, not just his sister. I can't even count how many times, we've gotten into a fight in a bar, because of something that he saw going on around him. He couldn't help himself sometimes.
“Fine, I will meet with him and see what he is all about. It can't be as bad as you think it is. He is a doctor, right?”
“You know as well as I do, that money doesn't mean anything. I am telling you to just get a feel for him. He will rub you the wrong way almost immediately like he did to me. I know it.”
Phillip was sure of himself and I have to be honest, it wasn't like I was looking forward to meeting him. He was the guy that was going to marry Amber and that did not sit well with me at all. There was a time long ago, when
I thought I might have been ‘the guy’. I wanted to be the guy that ended up with her, but it hadn’t worked out that way. I did not want to meet my successor.
I started to say something else and Phillip hit me with the side of his elbow.
“He's coming, shut up.”
I did just as he said because I was taken in the guy walking up. It was a little strange because I could see a little bit of a resemblance between us. He had blue eyes and blonde hair just like me. He was tall, a little built, but not too much, though that looked like he worked out. His hair was shorter, and I would never wear a button up shirt with a tie, but I did find it strange that he looked a bit like me. Had Phillip noticed, and if he had, what did he think about it?
Phillip sat up and put a fake smile on his face. I had known him for a long time, and this was not a genuine amusement to see him. There was an undercurrent of hostility almost immediately and it made me look at the man in front of me a little bit more. When I was introduced to him, he stuck his hand out to greet me and I took it a little hesitantly. Then I probably squeezed a little too hard before I released it. I didn't want to touch him.
“Nice to meet you, Steven. I have heard so much about you.”
Steven had a smile on his face, and it looked pretty genuine. I don't know why, but I felt exactly like Phillip. I hated him almost immediately, but it had nothing to do with the way he rubbed me. It had everything to do with the idea that he was the man that got to put his hands-on Amber. I was seething inside, and I sat back down, trying to get myself together.
In the beginning, I really thought that I was going to be the words of wisdom that would keep Phillip in check, but now I knew that I wasn’t going to be that type of friend. I was going to be the type of friend that was going to push the subject. I was going to help him get rid of Steven for good.
He had to go, and I realized right then, that I wanted to be in his place.
Chapter 4
Amber
When I heard that the guys had taken Steven out for a drink, that sinking feeling was back inside of me. I knew that my brother and his friend were up to something and I wasn’t going to let it happen. I knew how Phillip felt, but he was going to go too far this time. I was going to marry Steven. This wasn’t just some fling that he was trying to break up.
So, I grabbed Kaley and headed to the only bar in Eleanor. It was a tight space, full of people that I grew up with and I had a wave of nostalgia roll over me. I don’t know if that was a good thing or not. When I saw my brother Philip, Steven and Jesse sitting at the table in the corner drinking, I knew that it wasn’t all that it appeared to be.
I walked up to the table and caught part of the conversation.
“We had a girl like that in school. Her name was Betty. You could ask her to do about anything and she’d go with it.” Phillip was grinning and then smacked Jesse.
“You remember that one time…”
Phillip saw me and the conversation died. I wanted to hear the rest of it, but I knew that it wouldn’t come out with me standing here. I wasn’t supposed to be here, by the look on Phillip’s face.
“What are you doing here Amber? I thought you would be getting ready for the wedding.”
“I am not one of those girls who have to make everything perfect. Steven hired someone to take care of it all, so I have a lot of free time.” I gave Phillip and Jesse a dirty look and snapped my fingers to get the bartender’s attention. I picked a seat between Jesse and Steven. I felt like I needed to be the physical buffer.
“Well isn’t that nice of him.” Phillip had a smile on his face that didn’t come close to his dark brown eyes. He was not happy at all that I was here and that told me everything I needed to know. It meant that he was doing something that he wasn’t supposed to. Why else would he be bothered by my presence?
“So, what about the chick, what was her name, Betty?”
Kaley was sitting by my brother and I was happy to see his cheeks got red, as he looked away from her. He was a completely different person when he was around me and I knew that he wouldn’t want me to hear such things. Even though I was in my twenties, I think he was still convinced that I didn’t know about the world. It was frustrating, to say the least.
“It’s nothing. Just talk.”
“I see. So, what are you guys doing here? I went to get Steven to see if he wanted to go for a swim and he was gone.”
I was asking Phillip, but it was Steven that answered. I had to wonder if he knew what was going on. Did he know that he was walking into a trap? I don’t know what kind of trap they had planned, but I knew that it would end with problems. It always did when it came to Phillip and Jesse. When those two got together, bad things happened.
“They just wanted to get a drink. Sounded like a better time than staying at the house. Eleanor is nice and all…”
I didn’t let him continue. He didn’t have to. It was the whole reason that I was ready to get out of here and I knew that with his new job, we would be in the city in a few months. Then I wouldn’t have to worry about Eleanor and the small-town problems anymore.
“I understand. The place is dull. You don’t mind if I sit here and drink with you guys for a while, do you?”
It was an innocent request, and no one could deny me. I smiled at Jesse and I could see he was in on it. I’m glad I was able to foil one plan, but if I knew those two, it wouldn’t be the last one I’d have to.
***
“Your brother's friend didn't seem too bad. By the way, you described him, I didn't think we would get along at all.”
I had tried to warn Steven about Jesse. I had warned him about Phillip as well, but he still didn't believe me on that front. He thought that the evening had went well, though there was an undercurrent of issues that he didn't even seem to pick up on. The man was obviously very smart in many instances, but he did not pick up on the small signs all around him. It was like he didn't even see them.
“Yeah, Jesse is a real peach.”
“You don't care for him?”
“No, it isn't that. He just isn't what he seems. I don't want you to think that he is something that he isn't. Jesse has his own agenda.”
“And what is that agenda?”
I bit my lip and debated if I would say anything. I didn't really talk about Jesse. Even when there was something going on between us, a tension that I couldn't put my finger on. I never said a word. But Steven was different. I was supposed to be able to tell him anything, although I didn't think that this would turn out for the best if I did. Maybe it was the right thing to do, to not say anything.
I almost talked myself out of it, but then I finally broached the subject a little bit. If I really wanted to marry Steven, then he needed to know what was going on. When I started to explain it though, I realized that I didn't even know what was going on myself.
“I don't really know how to describe it, but Jesse had a crush on me, I guess you could say. When we were in college together and there were a few times where I thought something might happen.”
“Something?”
Now I had all of the attention in the world and I didn't want it. His dark eyes were searching mine, trying to find an answer that my lips were unable to produce.
“I don't know. It was college you know?”
“How did your brother take it?”
“It didn’t happen, so my brother never found out. I just think that he might be trying to get cozy with you, to do something bad.”
“What do you mean?”
He was too damn interested at the moment, and I was getting frustrated. Why could he not see what was right in front of him? That didn't seem too complicated anyway.
“I mean that he might try to break us up or spoil the wedding. My brother too. Those two idiots get together, and bad things happen. So, don't get too close to them.”
There was a moment that I thought I was getting through to Steven, but then he just waved me off like I had no idea what I was talking about.
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“I don't know what happened between you and your brother, but I think you are taking it the wrong way. They seem like okay guys.”
“Yeah, maybe your right.”
Or maybe he was wrong. I knew the truth, and he was going to find out one way or another. At least I tried to warn him. The problem was that I don't think that he was going to listen.
Chapter 5
Jesse
“I will ask you again Jesse, what the hell are you doing here?!”
Amber had burst through the door and I was in the process of pulling up my boxers. Once I saw that it was her, I made sure to take a little extra time to pull up the last few inches. Then I looked at her and smiled. I was staying in the guest room and after seeing the look in her eyes, I was glad that I left it unlocked. I didn’t know that I had, but it was certainly a good reason.
“Well good morning to you too, Amber. I can't tell you how much I have missed these conversations of ours.”
“This is not a conversation Jesse. This is me about the yell at you, for being an idiot. You and my brother are ridiculous. Why did you come here?”
I moved towards her and she backed up towards the door. She had slammed it shut, obviously for privacy when she first came in and now it was a barrier that stopped her from getting any distance between us. I stopped a couple of feet from her and put my arm on either side of her and pressed against the door. She could get out if she wanted to, but I wanted her to listen to me for once.
The close proximity brought out other issues though. I started to notice things that I probably shouldn't have. Her hair smelled the same as it had when we were in college. Her breath was quickening as I looked down at her and her lips were poised to take mine. Amber was waiting for a kiss, and for a split second I caved and I leaned down to give it to her.
It had just started out as one of those things. She looked like she had to be kissed and I was there. I leaned down and pressed my lips against hers, but it quickly became something else. Electricity ran between our lips and my hand started to move off of the door and onto her shoulders. I pulled her closer and tried my best to let her feel every inch of me. She was the one that had barged in after all.