—Five . . . What would that make her now?
—She is nineteen.
The Queen mumbled something, and then stood up straight.
—I have done wrong!
—Your Majesty . . .
While unable to fathom the Queen’s exact thoughts, Lady Suh was filled with sympathy. What on earth made her so restless? The Queen suddenly raised her head and restlessly walked toward the gardens before stopping in her tracks. Lady Suh called out, “Your Majesty!” The Queen’s eyes filled with tears. In a low voice, she said to Lady Suh, who was so surprised she had forgotten to stand with her back bowed, that they must go back. Lady Suh had seen the Queen clench her fists so tightly she almost crushed her own hands, or so angry that the fine veins in her eyes became visible, but she had never seen her in tears. The Queen disliked showing any vulnerability. Oblivious to Lady Suh, the Queen, as if making up her mind, calmly walked back inside the Hall of Diligent Governance.
When she took her place again, the King gave her a worried look.
—Are you feeling better?
—Please forgive me for worrying you.
—Nonsense. Do not forget to care for yourself.
The Queen glanced at the gentle King and turned to Victor. Victor felt nervous once more as he met the Queen’s gaze. He showed his deference by slowly bowing his head but felt as chilled as if he’d entered a cave. The Queen looked as if she’d read his mind.
She broke her gaze and spoke politely to the King.
—Do you remember the recent banquet at the Pavilion of Festivities?
The King gave an involuntary cough in lieu of an answer.
It is impossible to completely fathom the heart of one who is in love. Love always hides another motive.
—Do you also remember Lady Attendant Suh’s promise to visit the French legation?
Of course, the King remembered that evening, the night he had first seen the dancer as a beautiful woman, but he tilted his head. A strange smile appeared on the Queen’s face, then diminished. While the Queen had confused everyone else at the banquet, the King sensed the flames that flickered in the Queen’s heart. The Queen, as firm and daring as she was when it came to dealing with rapidly changing political realities, also happened to be a woman. The King was troubled by her anger whenever she suspected the King had so much as glanced at another woman. His palms were damp from the tension that evening, but the dancer had cleverly turned the tables by offering to grant a single wish for the French legate.
—That day when Lady Attendant Suh visited the legation as promised, she was injured by a knife brandished by a drunkard.
—How terrible.
The King hid his surprise under a disguise of calmness, nodding. So that was why she had disappeared. He had discreetly sought out Lady Attendant Suh after the banquet but to no avail. And every direct order he issued was bound to end up in the ear of the Queen. As the Queen realized she could no longer hide the dancer from the King, she had sent her to the legation. The Queen’s plan all along was to prevent Jin from ever returning to court, even if the dancer hadn’t been assaulted.
—So she has dwelled at the legation all this time.
The King turned to Victor.
—We now see what has happened. But what is your request?
Victor bowed more reverently than he ever had before.
—Please allow the dancer to remain in the legation.
—The dancer?
—Yes, Your Majesty.
—What is the meaning of this?
Victor steeled himself, thinking that if he hesitated now, his desire would remain forever unconfessed. He felt as if he were being whipped by rough waves.
—I have fallen in love with the dancer.
The interpreter, who had been conveying Victor’s words to the King and Queen, was so taken aback that his eyes opened wide. He thought he had misheard.
—What is so surprising?
Daunted, the interpreter asked Victor if that was truly what he wanted him to translate.
—Faites ça.
The interpreter broke into a sweat at Victor’s answer.
—He says he has fallen in love with the dancer, Your Majesty.
Silence fell.
The Queen closed her eyes. She had expected this request. Victor was said to come out to the legation’s courtyard every night and gaze in the direction of Jin’s room. He would listlessly walk about the courtyard, until Jin, who whiled away the tedious hours by reading as many French books as possible, turned out the light in her room. The Queen had thought this day would come, but she did not think it would be so soon. She had thought she had the autumn, at least, as Victor was not an ordinary man before the King. He was a diplomat representing France. Such an affair, a diplomat coveting a king’s woman, could easily cause a scandal. No matter how deep his love for her was, to say it out loud was not an easy thing. It was like sparking a dry haystack in the heat of frustration when there was still a danger of shifting intentions and being unable to control the resulting fire.
It was the King who broke the terrible silence.
—How can this be?
Victor felt as bare as a branch empty of leaves.
—Because she is beautiful.
The Queen narrowed her eyes. She felt an anger she couldn’t quite comprehend toward Victor. When one didn’t have anything to say, it was better to say nothing at all; the Queen, who wished Victor could be silent for at least a moment, wondered how he could be so bold with his pronouncements. She had already discerned, at the banquet, the legate’s feelings toward Jin, and even though she had brought about these events, she found herself disapproving deeply.
If this were not the Korean but the Chinese court?
He would not have said he had fallen in love with the Chinese emperor’s woman so easily, she thought. The Queen straightened her back.
—Dancers are not celadon jars.
The Queen’s voice was as cold as ice.
—Nor are they books or painted screens.
The Queen knew the legate was enthralled with Korea’s celadon, books, and folding screens, hoarding whatever he could. She heard the annex at the legation was full of these objects, so numerous that it was impossible to know how many of which.
Victor bowed once more and beseeched them.
—If Your Majesty permits it, I would like to marry the dancer.
The hall was shocked into silence once more at Victor’s words. Were the legate’s feelings toward the dancer the same as what he felt for celadon or books? Suspecting as much, the Queen narrowed her eyes again at his blatant presumptions.
—Is this true?
The King seemed greatly disturbed.
—In the village where I was born, there lived a girl named Marie. She was my first love. My father opposed the match, and I was forbidden from seeing her again.
Marie. The daughter of Lord Plancy. She was the only girl in the village with black hair and dark eyes. Victor was only a boy and Marie a girl, but his father, Jacques, did not like his associating with her. And perhaps that was the reason his love for her only grew. One day, Jacques caught them lying asleep together like spoons, atop a pile of straw in a barn on the outer edges of Lord Plancy’s estate. He was never to see Marie again. It would be more accurate to say that Marie could not see him. Victor would never be sure what his father had said to Marie’s family. He searched for her night and day that spring. Then finally, that summer, Marie was found dead by the bank of the river that flowed through Plancy. This was just before the rains would bloat the river and flood the village. What was discovered next to Marie was not Victor, but one of Lord Plancy’s dogs.
Victor did his best to tell Marie’s story to the King and Queen. All night he had thought about how to properly convey his love for the court dancer, but even he hadn’t foreseen himself to be talking of Marie before them.
The King had a question.
—Lady Attendant Suh resembles this Marie?
—
Yes, Your Majesty.
The Queen asked her own question.
—And if she had not resembled her?
—Lady Attendant Suh is as beautiful as Korea itself. If she hadn’t resembled Marie, I still would have fallen in love with her.
It was the Queen’s turn to be taken aback. Not even she could have predicted the ardor of the legate’s words.
Is there hope for this love after all?
Sweat dripped from Victor’s forehead as he awaited the King’s answer. It was Blanc who had told him that only by entering a hopeless love could one understand love’s true meaning. What could Blanc have meant by this? Victor was already lost in his love for Jin.
—And how is Lady Attendant Suh?
The Queen’s distraction made Victor turn toward her.
—She spends her days reading books.
It would have been more accurate to say she spent her days awaiting the Queen’s orders.
—Books from France?
—Yes, Your Majesty.
The court dancer was likely reading in Victor’s study this very moment. She almost never left Victor’s study as she awaited word from the Queen. She would wander through the library and choose a book to read, and once chosen, spend the rest of the day with it. She read through the night on some days, and soon was reading all through the day in the study. Sometimes at dawn or late at night, one could see Jin in the legation courtyard, standing by the phoenix tree. Jin always looked in the same direction when she stood underneath that tree. He had thought it strange at first but came to know why. Paul Choi told him that Jin was looking toward the palace.
—Have her wounds healed?
—They have.
Her wounds had healed rapidly as if heeding her desire to return to court as soon as possible. It astounded her physician. But Jin seemed sicker once her wounds closed. She burst into tears on the day that the woman Suh visited from Gondangol. Afterward, her face betrayed no emotion. She was perfectly cordial and spent her days sitting and reading quietly, back straight. Sometimes, during the hours when she thought no one was watching, she would go outside to the phoenix tree and dance underneath its canopy. When Blanc visited, she conversed with him in a calm manner and watched in silence as Blanc taught Victor Korean. Blanc once asked her whether she might teach Victor while she was staying at the legation.
—I must be ready to return to court tonight if word comes.
She left the room after giving this short answer.
Victor, thinking Jin might be bored, suggested they go together to the diplomats’ club in Jeongdong, or out to Saegumjeong on a donkey. His suggestions were always met with the answer that the palace could send word at any moment, and she could not leave the legation until then.
He did see her smile once. The woman Suh had sent medicinal herbs from Gondangol by way of Yeon, and Victor had been the one to announce him to Jin. The news that the Jangakwon musician had come to see her brought a vibrant smile from Jin, who had been holed up in Victor’s study with a book. That was the day Yeon played the daegeum for Victor in return for the gift of the fountain pen. Jin’s joyous face as she listened to the strains of the bamboo flute was so distracting to Victor that he hardly took in the music. Jin saw Yeon off, walking as far as the vegetable patch in front of the legation. Victor watched the pair walk side by side down the path through the patch. He also watched Jin walk back alone, her head bowed in sadness.
—Legate.
The Queen’s voice was low.
—You must return another time.
Victor was distraught. This meant she would not give him an answer today.
Those who love are inevitably made to wait.
A month had passed after the night of the banquet before the court dancer visited the legation as promised. The days of that month surely held the same number of hours as any other day, but each day of that month had been interminable. Victor had a feeling of what was in store for him if he left court without an answer.
—I shall discuss this with His Majesty and send word.
Victor’s disappointment had not escaped the Queen’s notice. She had closely observed his feelings toward Jin for a long time. That his feelings were true was a relief, but it was oddly unsettling as well.
The Queen bit her lip, feeling a wave of bitterness. Lady Attendant Suh at the legation couldn’t possibly even dream of how Victor had just confessed his daring love before the King.
—This is no small matter. There are rituals to observe in the discharge of a court lady.
—It is why I beseech Your Majesties so fervently.
Victor knew it was now or never. He tried to seem as obsequious as possible, bowing low and using his most respectful voice. He would gain nothing but whispers behind his back if he retreated now. It was already going to be a major scandal among the diplomats. They were polite enough, working together in a foreign country for the sake of their home nations, but there was no telling how such politeness would turn. It was clear how they might twist the story of a diplomat who fell in love with one of the King’s women. If such a distorted retelling ever got back to Paris, his career as a diplomat would be over.
He must not give in. He knew the Queen’s excuse was only an attempt to hide her intentions. What would move her, to stop her from retreating behind the King? Victor made some quick calculations.
—Your Majesty, I shall discuss with my superiors the matter that has eluded you in Japan, of founding a residential Korean legation in France.
The King’s frown was replaced with an expression of interest at these words. Victor was itching to read the Queen’s reaction, but he kept his gaze fixed on the King.
—Is this a possibility?
The King’s eyebrows were raised.
—Our conflict with China regarding Indochina is over, and France is ready to give its relationship with Korea more consideration.
—A resident legation would be of great help to Korea.
But the first thing to do before trying to shed China’s influence was to procure enough funds. The adjunct legate Cho Shinhee had run out of money and was unable to move on to Europe from Hong Kong. China had conspired with Britain to keep him there, and Cho Shinhee had been ill for a time, but funds were the biggest reason he couldn’t fulfill his duties. It was the King’s ambition to maintain diplomatic ties with foreign countries on an equal footing, but the way things were, he couldn’t even afford to pay local staff on time.
The King glanced at the Queen. She, more than anyone else, had borne the brunt of their uncertain finances. The Queen, who usually spared no expense when it came to the Crown Prince, had decided not to hold a hundred-day prayer event for his health due to the cost.
—We shall consider your proposal.
The Queen said this again to Victor, who showed no sign of moving off.
—Please leave us. We shall send word.
Defeated, Victor left their presence. As he walked down the stone steps of the Hall of Diligent Governance, he felt his knees begin to buckle. A helplessness he had never felt, even at the grand imperial court of China, pressed down on him.
The white Jindo dog greeted him when he returned to the legation.
Victor’s eyes grew wide when he looked up from petting the dog that had run toward him through the vegetable patch. Jin was standing before the legation. To one in love, the object of one’s affections is like a bird that might fly away at any moment. Jin walked over to him. It was a strange moment for Victor, as it was the first time that it was she who was approaching him. He felt as if he were hallucinating. It was also the first time he had seen her step outside the legation gate since she had seen Yeon off.
Jin stopped before him.
—Were you waiting for me?
—Yes.
Victor knew it wasn’t him she had been waiting for but news from court. Nevertheless, his face, dark since his audience with the King, lit up with a smile.
—Shall we take a walk?
Before Jin cou
ld turn him down, Victor started walking around the vegetable patch. He took a few steps and looked back at her. Jin started to follow him. They walked over an irrigation ridge around the patch that had broken in the rain. Beans sprouted at the breach.
—I’ve given your letter to the Queen.
Jin suppressed the urge to ask him what she had said to him and bent down to push the sprouts into the boundary of the patch.
—She says she will send word soon.
—Did she read it?
—She only accepted it. She must’ve read it by now.
Victor’s shoulders, ever straight, slumped as he asked the next question.
—Do you want to go back to court?
Jin didn’t answer. Victor had seemed surprised when she handed him the letter and asked him to give it to the Queen should she be present during his audience with the King. He had acquiesced but looked displeased as he took the letter from her.
Victor turned around and faced her.
—Are you not comfortable here?
He looked her directly in the eye.
—I did not write asking to be reinstated to court.
Jin looked back at him, then turned away. She gazed at the roof of the Russian legation in the distance.
—I wrote asking if I could remain here.
Victor’s eyes filled with surprise.
And what else had she written? Jin sighed as she remembered. She had stated that she had private records from the Year of the Black Horse, that Soa should be tasked with bringing them to the Queen for safekeeping. Jin seemed like she was doing nothing but reading all day, but she was also thinking hard about why the Queen was not calling her back to court. The reason came to her in a flash one dawn. She remembered what was said to her when she was sent from the Queen’s Chambers to the Embroidery Chamber. With you, I do not wish to have a man come between us. She had always been near the Queen, but since that day, she could only approach her when summoned. And that evening of the banquet. The King had sent word three times afterward that he was looking for her. But each time when she got ready to see him, a lady attendant of the Queen’s Chambers came and informed her that her presence was no longer necessary. Then, suddenly, the order had come for her to visit the French legation.
The Court Dancer Page 16