Virtual Mode
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But let me finish on more personal notes, because these Notes as I see them relate not to lectures but to feeling. I'm sure my readers differ from me on many things, but I hope that we share the essence of wonder and longing for what we may never quite understand.
I have pictures in my study of my wife at age one and a half or two, phenomenally cute, with her father. I had been looking at them, and then the song "Scarlet Ribbons" came on and I suffered a certain siege of nostalgia for a situation I had never really known, for my wife was somewhat older when I met her. Our own daughters were like that, and they too have grown up. How precious children are! It is foolish to wish that time could stand still, yet tempting.
There was another episode in this period that touched my heart for inconsequential reasons. My mother visited for two days. She is in the neighborhood of eighty and travels by train, and naturally the hours are inconvenient. We had to get up early to get her to the station on time. We used the house speaker system to wake us: at 5 A.M. the local radio station blared on throughout the house. As I was blindly scrambling into clothing, a popular song played. It was a pretty one, with touching words, in contrast to my bleary mood. It suggested that he close his eyes and let her take his hand so that he could feel the beating of her heart. I have a mental picture of bittersweet young Colene taking Darius' hand and holding it to her bosom, longing for love. Isn't that the way we all are, in the hell of our anonymity?
Marsh 8, 1990:
Harpy Reading!
P.S. Since writing this novel, I have addressed some of the problems discussed in this Note. Now you can get a sample copy of my Newsletter and catalogue. Call my "troll-free" number 1-800-HI PIERS. (e-book note: this phone number is no longer valid. For similar information try the official web site at http://www.hipiers.com instead.)