Where I'm Going

by Parker Elliot

  He needed to get the topic of conversation on to better, brighter things before he worked himself into some kind of anxiety-riddled frenzy.

  “No, you didn’t wake me at all. It was nice to hear your voice when I woke up, actually.” Reign cringed internally as that last bit slipped out. He hadn’t meant to go that far, but Benji didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he even smiled a little bigger. “So, what’s the plan for today? The world is our oyster. Or, the Dallas-Fort Worth area, at least.”

  Benji shrugged. “Whatever you want is great with me.” Then, for the first time, he broke eye contact and fidgeted a little. “But, um, there is something I should probably tell you before we do anything else.”

  Oh, shit.

  Shit, shit, shit.

  He really was dating someone! That’s why he’d been so happy on the phone. That’s what he was about to tell Reign—that everything they’d done before and all those feelings they’d shared and everything had been a mistake. That he was in love now, and while it had been a fun little experiment, he hoped they could still be friends.

  Shit.

  “Oh, okay,” Reign said, his voice surprisingly steady as he swallowed the scream of anguish that had been rising in his throat. God, he was going to be sick. Right that minute. He was literally going to throw up.”What’s up?”

  “Okay, well, I hope you don’t get mad at me, but,” Benji cleared his throat and Reign felt his fingernails dig into his palm as he tried to keep himself from jumping up and running back to his bedroom like a moody teenager. “I made a phone call this morning to my brother, and he’s totally on board with coming down here and doing a charity fundraiser show at your bar, and maybe even a meet-and-greet beforehand to really get the liquor flowing.”

  Reign blinked. “What?” He tried to wrap his head around everything Benji had just said—and he was pretty sure none of the words had been about seeing someone else, or just being friends, or fun little experiments. He was talking about his brother. Chase. Chase Carhart, the world-famous superstar. “Wait, what? I don’t understand… your brother… what?”

  “I’m sorry,” Benji said, shaking his head and looking like a deer caught in headlights. “I know I should have run it by you first, but I wanted to get the ball rolling, and I didn’t want to get your hopes up until I’d talked to Chase, in case he didn’t want to do it, but he does want to, and… I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad.”

  “Oh my God, Benji. Oh my God.”

  “I know. I’m sorry—”

  Reign laughed, then leapt across the couch and flung his arms around Benji. “Are you kidding me? Sorry? You are incredible! I mean, yeah, I asked that you let me handle it, but… shit, how in the world could I be mad when you tell me news like this?”

  “Really?” The tension went out of Benji’s shoulders as he wrapped his strong arms around Reign and returned the hug. “You’re… not mad? Not at all?”

  “Not even a little. Oh my God, I just can’t believe it. I’m in shock. In shock!”

  “Oh, good. That’s the reaction I was hoping for,” Benji said, obviously relieved. “I mean, maybe not shock, exactly, but that’s definitely better than pissed. I just wanted to help, you know?”

  “I know. And that’s why there’s no way I could even think about being mad about it. I appreciate it, Benji. I’ve never really had anyone in my life who just… wanted to help. Who didn’t expect anything in return. I’m used to doing things on my own, and that’s just how it’s always been.”

  “Well, you have someone like that in your life now. And I’m not going anywhere. I’m here to help. I’m here for you.”

  “Thank you,” Reign said, his eyes welling up as he sat back on the couch and slowly unwrapped himself from Benji. “Thank you so much. So… what do we do now?”

  “First, I think we should get some breakfast. But then, I think we should get to work.”

  Reign grinned. “Absolutely. Yes and yes.”

  For once, he had someone in his life he could not only depend on, someone who was truly in his corner, but also someone who always seemed to be on exactly the same page.

  And it felt good.

  Really, really good.

  23

  Benji

  The noise from the arena still rang in Benji’s ears, even though he and Chase had left Detroit more than an hour ago. He sank back into the buttery leather seat, pretty convinced that he wouldn’t mind flying seven days a week if he could be assured use of the record label’s private jet.

  Damn. The thing was really a work of art. Definitely a perk of managing his superstar brother.

  Benji closed his eyes, only to pop one open a moment later when Chase said his name.

  “Benji, are you asleep?”

  “No, but I’d like to be. What’s up?”

  “Do you really think I did a good job tonight? I felt a little pitchy on that second number. Did anyone mention it backstage?”

  Benji did his best to suppress a grin. Chase had always been his own biggest critic. Even once he was famous—and even though he could out-sing any other artist Benji had ever seen perform live—he still agonized over the tiniest details. If he thought he was pitchy—or worse, if he thought anyone else thought that—it would literally keep him up at night.

  Case in point—it was the middle of the night, and Chase was keeping Benji up about it.

  “I think you did a great job tonight, and everyone else thought so, too. Did you see how long the crowd stayed in their seats, even after you came back for an encore? They would’ve stayed there all night if you’d kept going back out.”

  “Yeah,” Chase smiled. “I wish we could’ve done a couple more songs there at the end. Maybe even one of the new ones I’ve been working on. But did you hear the part I was talking about? The part in the second number? I can never seem to hit that high note in the third verse dead on. It’s always just a little flat. Did you notice?”

  “Nope. I heard every word, and it all sounded great, bro.” Truthfully, he hadn’t noticed a single missed note—or a flat one, or a sharp one, or anything out of the ordinary. But then again, he had been a little preoccupied. While he’d definitely heard every word his brother had sang, he hadn’t been giving it his full attention. How could he, when all he could think about was getting back to Dallas? Back to Reign. “Everyone backstage kept saying how great the show was. If you were flat, and I don’t think you were, but if you were, the only person who noticed was you.”

  For a moment, Chase looked like he might argue, but finally he nodded and looked out the window, seemingly satisfied with that answer.

  Thank God. Finally a chance to get some sleep.

  But the reprieve was short-lived, because Chase whipped his head back—in fact, turned his entire body back—to face Benji, an excited gleam in his eyes.

  “Now, you have to tell me everything, and I mean everything about Reign.”

  Benji groaned. “Come on, Chase. Now? Really?”

  The past few days had been a whirlwind of activity, with Chase preparing for his show, and Benji staying busy with Reign in Dallas, preparing for the fundraiser. Most events like that were usually planned months in advance, sometimes taking a year to prepare. But Reign and Benji had days. Not months.

  It had consumed every free moment they’d had, and while Benji had been more than happy—overjoyed, actually—to spend so much time with Reign, it hadn’t left time for anything else. Including catching up with Chase about everything that had happened between Anguilla and Dallas.

  And sure, he planned on filling in a few of the details sometime… but now? He really just wanted to close his eyes and sleep. To hopefully dream of Reign in peace.

  “Yes, now.” Chase was like a dog with a bone. “When else? It’s not like you can just tell me all the juicy details in front of the guy. And anyway, we won’t have time when we get there. From the itinerary Gloria emailed me, I’m pretty much on the go from the moment we land.”

  “That’s true,” B
enji said, conceding Chase’s point. “I did sort of jam as much as I could into as few hours as possible.”

  “Yeah, I noticed. So… tell me. Tell me everything.”

  “Fine.” Benji sighed, rolling his eyes as he struggled to sit completely upright in the chair that had seemed to wrap around him like a warm hug. “I’m definitely not giving you any juicy details, whatever that means. But what do you wanna know?”

  “Everything. How did you meet? When did you know how you felt about him? Does he know that you’ve never been with a guy? Have you ever been with a guy? Oh my God, tell me everything.”

  “Jesus, Chase. Calm down, okay? You’re gonna have a stroke.” Benji shook his head as he tried to remember all of the rapid-fire questions his brother had thrown at him. “I haven’t ever been with another guy besides Reign, first of all. I never even really thought about another guy until I met him. And we met at the little bar at the resort in Anguilla. The night you left, actually. We’ve stayed in touch ever since, and… that’s all there is to tell, really.”

  “Seriously? That’s all there is to tell?” Chase drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Only you could turn a love story into something that feels like a lecture, Benji, honestly.”

  “Thanks, bro. That makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Love you, too.”

  “You know what I mean. Where’s the romance? Was there romance? Does he know how you feel about him?”

  “I mean… yeah, we were in Anguilla, it was nice. I guess it was romantic. But… I think we’re going to just be friends.”

  “Oh please. That never works. You have to tell him you want more than that, Benji. He’s not just going to guess one day, out of the blue. I’m telling you, it doesn’t work that way.”

  Benji knew his brother had a point—several good points, actually—and that he was likely speaking from experience. But it didn’t make the reality of the situation any different. Or any easier.

  “It’s not like with you and Jackson, though,” Benji said. “Reign and I live so far apart. We can’t just line our schedules up to work on certain days and be together the rest of the time.”

  “Right, because it’s my idea of marital bliss to be on an overnight flight with you from Detroit to Dallas while my husband—my newlywed husband, I might add—is playing his own show in Vegas. That sounds like everything I’ve always wanted, right?”

  Benji shrugged, but he wasn’t ready to admit defeat just yet.

  “You know it’s not all champagne and roses,” Chase continued. “You have to work to get what you want. You have to compromise and make tough decisions. But you’re good at all of those things, Benji. You do all of that as your job. So just tell him.”

  “Maybe,” Benji admitted. “Maybe you’re right—”

  “I am right. I’m always right.”

  Benji rolled his eyes. “Maybe you’re right. But there’s just so many obstacles. I don’t even know if he feels the same way.”

  “Well, you’ve gotta figure it out. And you’ve also gotta figure out a way to get past the obstacles. And here’s a little tip—it’s easier to get over those obstacles together.”

  Again, Benji knew he was right. But knowing something and doing something were two different things. And Benji wasn’t sure he was ready for the doing part yet. Or—more accurately—he wasn’t sure if Reign was ready.

  “Fine. You win. Point taken. Can we go to sleep now? Please?”

  “Yes,” Chase said, happily reclining his seat as he snuggled into it. “We can. And when we wake up in Dallas, I expect you to introduce me to Reign.”

  Benji stifled another groan. He could hardly wait for that meeting. He only hoped Chase wouldn’t let any of Benji’s feelings or intentions slip. He knew he could trust his brother with just about anything, but there was no denying that Chase had a matchmaking streak.

  And even though there was nothing he wanted more than to be matched with Reign, Benji was starting to wonder if it was ever going to happen. Or if it ever could happen.

  Benji stood with his arm around Reign’s waist as Chase finished his last song. The crowd was electric, and from where Benji was standing at the side of the stage, he could actually feel the energy rolling off them. It hit him like a blast, like a wave that had just crested, and it was one of the most exhilarating things Benji had ever felt.

  It was no wonder Chase got such a rush out of performing live. Benji could easily see how that feeling could be addictive as hell.

  But the feeling Benji was more addicted to was the one he got when he was close to Reign. The jolt he felt throughout his whole body every time they made contact. Even just standing there with his arm casually and loosely around Reign’s waist was pure ecstasy and also pure torture. As comforting as it was to have him so close, it only made Benji want more.

  It made him want things that he probably couldn’t have. That he probably shouldn’t even hope for, let alone ask for.

  “Your brother was great,” Reign said, leaning in close to Benji’s ear so he could be heard over the screaming crowd. “He’s got the most beautiful voice I’ve ever heard. It was really a treat to see him up close like this.”

  Benji grinned and tried to not to think about what the feel of Reign’s breath against his skin was doing to him. “Make sure you tell him that, please. It’ll make his day. And it might keep him from worrying that he was awful, but probably not.”

  “You’re kidding? He can’t possibly think that.”

  “I swear. He loves performing. It’s in his blood. It’s really what he was born to do. But he’s never satisfied with the job he’s done. It’s maddening.”

  “He should be satisfied tonight. I don’t know the exact numbers yet, but he’s helped raise an insane amount of money for GALA North Texas. I’m so glad he could come help us all.”

  Benji really did hope Reign shared some of that information with Chase. And Benji would be sure to follow up as well. There was no doubt that the number of people who showed up did so because it was Chase Carhart, who hadn’t played a venue smaller than an arena in a couple of years.

  “That’s awesome,” Benji nodded, feeling his heart swell as he saw the sincere look of gratitude on Reign’s face. “I know he’ll be really happy to hear that. And it looks like it’s been a pretty good night for liquor sales, too, right?”

  Reign laughed. “Are you kidding? It’s been like…” he shook his head, “I don’t even know. We’ve done more business today and tonight than we do in a month. It’s been crazy. But a great, fantastic, wonderful kind of crazy.”

  It was the best thing Benji could have heard. Aside from making a ton of money for a really great cause—Benji had been so impressed with the work they did at GALA that he’d written a check himself—just knowing that the bar would get a much-needed infusion of cash, and that a lot of the people who came tonight would likely come back again now that they knew about the place meant everything to Benji.

  “That’s good.” Benji couldn’t stop smiling. He felt so relieved for Reign, and it was nice seeing him truly happy and enthusiastic in his bar—in his element. “That’s really good.”

  “And it’s all thanks to you,” Reign said, turning to face Benji. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t taken the lead on this. You really did make a miracle happen.”

  “No, I helped. But organizing all of this? That was all you. There’s no way I could’ve pulled something like this off on my own. You had the original good idea, I filled in a couple of blanks, and you ran with it. And it worked out pretty well, in my opinion.”

  “I’d have to say we make a pretty great team, Benji.”

  Benji wrapped his arms around Reign and pulled him in close, breathing in the sweet scent of his shampoo as he buried his face in Reign’s hair. “I’d have to say you’re exactly right. We do make a great team. The best team.”

  “I think we should celebrate,” Reign said, pulling away enough to look up at Benji with that beautiful smil
e.

  “You read my mind.”

  “With shots. At the bar. Right now.”

  Benji laughed. It wasn’t the first thought that had come to mind when Reign had mentioned celebrating, but Reign’s idea was probably more appropriate, especially in front of an audience. “Lead the way. I’ll be right behind you.”

  And beside you, if you’ll have me.

  But even though the words surged to the front of Benji’s mind, they died in his throat. He just hadn’t found the right time or place, but… soon.

  Hopefully.

  24

  Reign

  Reign wasn’t entirely sure how they’d ended up back at his apartment.

  He remembered being at the loud bar, how he’d felt like he was on top of the world after Chase’s concert. He remembered starting with shots, and that Benji had been reluctant to keep up, but everything after the first three or four started to get a little fuzzy.

  They had definitely said goodbye to Chase and sent him off in a limo for the hotel. They had also definitely kept drinking while everyone cleaned up the bar. Had Reign let the staff go home early, with promises of coming back the next morning and finishing the cleaning job? Or was that just a tequila-infused hallucination?

  “Almost there,” Benji said, mostly carrying Reign as they approached the front door of his apartment. “Just gotta get this thing unlocked and we’ll be good.”

  “Okay, let me get my keys.” Reign lurched forward as he reached for his pockets. Shit. No keys. Where were his keys? “Um, Benji, I think we need to go back. I forgot—”

  “Your keys?” Benji jingled them in front of Reign as he used his other massive arm to keep Reign upright. “Don’t worry about anything, okay? I’ve got you.”

  Reign smiled. It was nice to hear those words. It certainly wasn’t something he was used to hearing. But when Benji said it, Reign believed it. It just felt right.