by Mary Rundle
Hanging his head, Carson stared at the floor, thinking about what his brother said. He knew Cody was right, but that didn’t help him stop the carousel of possibilities going around in his mind every time he thought about her. All last night, he alternated between wanting revenge against Josiah and crying over the loss of the rest of his siblings—again. For a split second, when Jackson announced their mother had survived, his heart leapt for joy, thinking if she had, then his younger siblings must have also. Then, his joy was cut with a dagger straight to the heart, leaving it bleeding as he struggled with guilt—survivor’s guilt, Colton had explained to him.
“Have you seen mom yet?” Cody asked.
Shaking his head, Carson said, “I know I should, but I keep thinking it doesn’t matter because she won’t even know I’m there.”
“Maybe…but I’m hanging on to the belief our mother will know. When I asked Colton what would be a good time to visit today, he told me I should talk to mom, as if she was awake because it’s a good possibility she could hear me.”
Glancing up at his brother, Carson asked, “What are you going to talk about?”
“Everything that’s happened to me since the massacre…I figure if she was awake, that’s what she’d want to know,” Cody replied. Then bumping his brother’s shoulder, he said, “You can tell her about your job and your promotion. I bet she’ll be very proud of you.”
“But I don’t have a mate…or pups,” Carson groaned.
“Yet. You don’t have a mate yet, bro, but you will,” replied Cody. “Is that the reason you want to leave?”
Tilting his head back against the wall, Carson closed his eyes, wondering how his brother figured out the real reason he’d been crying. Of course, that’s how Cody knew…damn our triplet link! Snorting, he remembered how cool he thought it was when they were pups, but now it had bitten him in the ass. “Is Colton going to show up too?”
“Not unless you want him to,” replied Cody. “Have you seen Jackson lately?”
Knowing his brother wouldn’t stop until he knew everything, Carson answered, “Yeah, he came to tell me the great news about our cousin Hunter finding his mate. Whoop-de-doo.” Gods, I sound like a prick. Looking down at his dress pants, he brushed off the lint they’d picked up from the floor.
“Finding a mate is always a good thing,” murmured Cody. Then, noticing the slump of defeat in Carson’s shoulders, he said, “So you decided to leave because of that?”
Pissed, he growled, “Back off. Why I want to leave is my business.”
“Wrong. It’s also my and Colton’s business. What happens to you affects us and you know it,” Cody said. “Carsy, you know if you leave, Colton and I will be missing a note in our triad. So don’t you think we deserve to know the reason why?”
Anger surged through Carson, pissed at Cody for using their special bond against him. “Fine. You want to know why I’m going to leave? Because it’s obvious to me I’m not good enough to have a mate! There! Satisfied?”
Chapter 19
“Carsy, that’s bullshit!” retorted Cody. “No fucking way! Not good enough? Of course you have a mate. Everyone does. It just takes time. Honestly, why would you even think that?”
“Isn’t it obvious? All my brothers found their mates and then what happens? The Fates skip me and now my fucking cousins are finding theirs.”
“Not cousins…just one cousin. And that doesn’t mean anything except Hunter was in the right place at the right time. C’mon, bro, you know finding a mate isn’t anything except pure luck. Look at Jackson…he stopped to help two dudes and got robbed. If that hadn’t happened to him, how do you think he would’ve met Steel? And what about Dylon? An enforcer for Josiah’s pack who just happened to be beaten nearly to death before he was found? And that wouldn’t have happened if our uncle had decided to dump his body somewhere else. What about Zane…he goes to Scotland on vacation and finds his mate…talk about luck. No, your mate is out there, you just haven’t connected yet.”
Seizing the opening his brother gave him, Carson asked, “And how am I supposed to find him, if I just stay here? Wait until he shows up at the gate? Every one of my brothers has traveled except me.”
“Is that the reason you want to leave? To find your mate?”
Looking at the floor, Carson muttered, “Dylon said many enforcers travel from pack to pack looking for their mates.”
Searching his brother’s face, Cody slowly nodded. “Yeah, that’s true.”
“I thought I’d ask Maximus if Dire Enterprises has any job openings. They have offices all over the world.”
“So you’d still be working for Steel and Slate?” Cody asked.
“If they have a place for me,” Carson said.
“I guess that’s okay,” mused Cody.
Snorting, Carson replied, “I’m not asking for your permission, big brother.”
Shrugging, Cody replied, “Didn’t say you were. Just doing what any big brother would do…looking out for their little brother.”
“Big brother by five fucking minutes.”
“Doesn’t matter,” Cody smirked, then turning serious, he said, “Carsy, Colton and I will support whatever you want to do, you know that. I’m just worried about you—thinking you aren’t good enough for a mate—because I know you are. It might take you a little longer to find yours, but trust me, there’s one waiting for you somewhere.”
The certainty in Cody’s voice helped to erase some of Carson’s hopelessness. “Thanks,” he said, softly, overcome with emotion.
“Now, what can Colton and I do to help you? Do you want me to speak to Slate?”
Aghast at the suggestion, Carson replied, “Don’t you dare! Oh my gods, are you trying to embarrass me on purpose? I can do my own asking.”
“Just trying to help.”
“No, thank you. I’m perfectly capable of handling my own life, including dealing with my boss.” Carson pushed himself up off the floor. “I’ve got to get back to work.”
“Okay, bro,” said Cody, standing and giving his brother a hug. “Let me know if there’s anything I can do.”
Patting his brother’s back, Carson murmured. “I will, promise. And thanks for the support.”
“Always!”
~/~/~/~/~
There was a stop Jackson wanted to make before meeting Hunter in his study. Pausing at the bottom of the staircase to the hospital, he looked down the long hallway and saw Colton staring through a glass window outside their mother’s room. His brother’s stance reflected the pain caused by his inability to help her recover. Only Kieran could do it—might do it according to Ian—and that decision was Jackson’s to make. Swallowing the sour taste of fear filling his mouth, he wondered if he could live with the consequences of his choice. If there was ever a case of damned if I do and damned if I don’t, this is it. Then feeling his brother’s gaze turn to him, Jackson headed towards Colton. “How’s mom?”
“Resting comfortably but still not up. Dakota’s in with her now.”
“Is Ian around?” asked Jackson.
“In his office.”
Patting Colton on the shoulder as he walked past, Jackson asked, “Are you going to join us?”
“Nope, Ian wants me to watch mom to see if she responds to anything.”
“Okay,” Jackson said, leaving his brother and heading into Ian’s office. Taking a seat across from his brother-in-law, he waited until Ian finished entering some notes into his computer before asking, “How’s Dakota?”
“Good. Eager to get back to the kitchen, but he’s on mandatory bed rest for another day.”
“His pup is okay, right?” asked Jackson.
“Yes…and so is Kieran’s.”
“But you’re concerned Kieran’s pup might be affected if he does another session with mom?”
Ian mulled that over for a moment before answering. “Kieran is unique…there’s never been anyone like him before so there’s no medical history I can use as a guide for my recomme
ndation. Yesterday, when Kieran was removing Hope’s sorrow and grief, he overdid it and his heart stopped. If Dr. Evans hadn’t started CPR, I don’t think even Logan could’ve saved him. And before you ask, I don’t know how Logan was able to. However, it’s now obvious he has the ability to remove the darkness from Kieran’s aura, but to what extent or under what circumstances, your guess is as good as mine.”
“But Kieran’s the only possibility to help mom, right?” asked Jackson.
“Yes,” Ian replied. “Right now, your mother has given up, she wants to die. Neither Colton’s natural healing ability nor his Raphael’s power will work since they both work on healing the body. Kieran’s works on the mind. In your mom’s case, that’s what’s broken.”
“Have you spoken to Logan about Kieran trying?” asked Jackson.
“No, not until you approve it.”
“What happens to mom if I don’t?”
Shrugging, Ian replied, “Best case scenario, she wakes up on her own. Worst case, she progressively slips deeper into the coma at which time her organs will fail.”
“Fuck!” Jackson ran his hand through his hair. “How many sessions would mom need?”
“Don’t know,” Ian said. “This is unchartered territory. According to Dr. Evans’ notes, Hope was breathing her last breath before Kieran appeared. Now, after just one session, her vitals are stable.”
“But it just about killed Kieran.”
“True,” Ian said, “but Logan wasn’t with him. After Fionn was rescued in Scotland, Kieran worked his magic to revive him, but in that instance, Logan was with him, holding one of his hands.”
“Why would that matter?”
“I believe Logan was giving him additional strength. If that’s the case, it would reduce the risk to Kieran and his pup if Logan does the same at any sessions with your mother,” Ian said.
Tapping his fingers on the arm of his chair, Jackson thought about the tiny door of hope Ian opened. Then he said to Ian, “Talk to Kieran and Logan. Find out if you’re right. Even if you are…and Kieran agrees to Logan helping him…I want a shorter time period for each session with several days in between for Kieran to recover and there should be close monitoring of his pup during each session. If there’s any hint of danger to the pup, the session stops immediately.”
“Agreed,” Ian replied.
“Good. Let me know what you find out after talking to them.” Jackson said. “Also, “I was hoping to see mom before I leave.”
“C’mon, Dakota should be through by now.”
~/~/~/~/~
“What are you doing, Quin?” asked Theo.
“Finding out where Robin is,” Quin replied, typing out a message to Mason. “Do you know which of Red Force’s songs Fionn likes?”
“Why?” asked Norm.
“Because Robin’s stage name is Red Force.”
“Fantastico!” exclaimed Kieran,
“Yes,” said Quin, “and I’m going to ask him if he’d give a performance just for them and write them a love song to go with it.”
“Oh my gods!” Theo exclaimed, “I can make them a romantic dinner to have while your brother is singing to them.”
“And I know a special place where we can set it up,” Kieran said, clasping his hands to his heart. “Oh my, this is so romantic, Fionn can’t help but fall in love with Hunter, oh, we need some flowers and maybe some lights in the trees. Oh, I know, we can make these glass candle holders and hang them from the branches, so they’ll look like fireflies and then set up the table under them. That’s the bestest idea ever, don’t you agree? Are you sure your brother can write a love song fast enough because I know Fionn’s coming home soon and we don’t want to give Hunter any time to mess it up.”
“I know he can,” Quin replied, reading an answer to his text. “Mase says Robin’s in his bedroom.” Looking up at his friends, he asked, “Who knows where that is?”
“He’s in the south wing on the first floor,” Norm said, “but I don’t know which room is his.”
“Steel would,” Theo said. “We can ask him.”
“This is so exciting!” Quin exclaimed. “Hunt is going to be so thankful for our help!”
“C’mon Love Queens, we have a lot to do,” Kieran said.
~/~/~/~/~
Standing next to his mom’s bed, Jackson gently leaned down, kissing her cheek. She looked older than he remembered; the deep lines on her face, no doubt, the result of that night she lost everything. “Mama,” Jackson murmured, “I have so much to tell you…I really need you to wake up. Me, Logan, the triplets, Kota and Zane…we survived Mama and are waiting for you to come back to us.” Grasping her pale, fragile hand resting on the bed, Jackson brought it to his lips, kissing it, wishing he had the power to make her world whole again. Tears veiled his eyes as he remembered his heart shattering when they found out about the massacre. The loss of his parents was sad enough, but what really devastated him were thoughts of his younger siblings eagerly anticipating their trip to Disneyland with him—a trip they’d never make.
Now, through some weird twist of fate, their mother had survived, coming back to him and his brothers. But the cruelty of it was it made him feel as if he’d just lost his younger siblings all over again. Sinking into the chair next to his mother’s bed, his grief was rekindled. His memories of the Long Night Moon Festival—when the pups opened the envelope and found his gift—tore through him like a chill wind and he began to cry. The excitement on their faces, the squabbling over what they would see first, the ribbing his older brothers gave him for wanting to go to Disneyland—these flashbacks were now just too much to bear.
His mother was going to come along to help him manage the over-excited pups on their first trip into the world they’d eventually be part of. But not anymore. Josiah had stolen it from them. His sisters would now be entering their teens and he’d looked forward to playing the big brother; checking out their boyfriends, warning them to treat his sisters with respect—or else.
Staring at his mother, he, more than any of his brothers, felt her sorrow at losing her pups. He was more their dad than just a brother, especially when pack business took their father away from home. Picturing his mother sitting on his cousin’s back porch day after day, staring into the woods, waiting for her pups to come home to her just shattered his heart
Wiping his tears away, Jackson began, “Mama, I know you’ll find this hard to believe but I have a pup, Daniel. Wait till you meet him...so bright and clever…he’s already talking and standing up…and gets into everything. Last week, I found him in our bathroom, his face covered with shaving cream. I called Steel, my mate…you’ll like him…to clean up the mess. He’s so good with our son, mama.
“Now, I know you’re wondering how I had a pup…maybe thinking you’re hearing things, but no, it’s true. But before I tell you how it happened, let me tell you how I met my Fated Mate. I’d gone to my lawyer’s office and was driving home when…”
~/~/~/~/~
Quin stood outside Robin’s door, listening to his brother’s voice as he sang one of his songs. Looking over his shoulder at the other Love Queens, he grinned. “That’s one of his hits.”
“That’s the one Fi played over and over,” Norm said. “Drove me nuts.”
“Fi told me it helped get him through tough times,” Theo said.
“Uhmm, do you think the song has bad memories for him?” asked Quin.
“Good point,” Kieran said. “That wouldn’t be good if Fi is sitting there, listening to a song that makes him sad, cause then he might blame Hunter and that’s not good at all because then Fi isn’t looking at his mate with adoring eyes which is what he should be doing when Hunter woos him.”
“Maybe when he comes home, we can check the playlists on his phone and see which of Robin’s songs he has,” suggested Quin.
“Ki can do that!” exclaimed Theo.
“Absolument!” Kieran said.
Smiling, Quin turned back, raising his hand to knoc
k when the door suddenly swung open, causing him to squeak in surprise.
“Quin, I thought I heard your voice,” Robin said, “What are you and your friends doing here?”
“Can we come in?” asked Quin.
“Sure.” Standing back, Robin waited until his brother and friends were in his suite, then shut the door, leaning against it. “What’s up?”
“Uhmm…I need you to write a love song,” Quin blurted out. “A new one, just for our friend, Fionn. He’s a huge fan of yours.”
“What about the songs I’ve already recorded? He doesn’t like those?” smiled Robin.
“I’m sure he does…it’s just that this is a special occasion,” Quin replied.
“What’s the occasion?”
“Just go ahead and tell him,” Theo said, after seeing Quin hesitate.
“I can’t.”
“Why not?” asked Norm.
“Because I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone.”
“But you told us,” Theo said.
“That’s because I needed your help.”
Robin laughed. “Well, Quin, it appears you need my help too. So what’s the special occasion?” he asked.
“Uhmm, okay…Fionn found his Fated Mate and there’s a romantic dinner and since you’re Fi’s favorite singer, I thought you could write a love song just for him and his mate.”
“Don’t forget about the private concert,” Kieran said.
“Right. And I want you to sing it along with some of your other songs while they are eating a romantic dinner,” Quin said.
Robin grinned, looking at Quin’s sparkling eyes and his hopeful expression. He hadn’t seen his brother this excited, this alive, about anything for as long as he could remember. Knowing he’d do anything just to keep Quin feeling this way, he said, “Okay. Who’s Fionn’s mate?”
Chapter 20
Knocking, Hunter stood outside Jackson’s study, curious about the forthcoming meeting since the message he received didn’t offer a clue.
Opening the door, Jackson said warmly, “Hey, Hunt, come on in.”