Chapter 12
The leap of faith-
I spent the night writing in a notebook Peggy had given me. I jotted down every talent I would like. I wrote down personality traits I wanted, mapping out my dreams and potential careers. It was exciting to shape myself. I hoped Peggy was right. I hoped I could become the person I wanted to be. Since I got so caught up in my project, I didn’t go to sleep.
Monday morning found everyone grouchy as we prepared to go to school. I was going to start the day off by talking at breakfast, but it was too hard. I thought maybe I would talk on the bus ride to school, but I failed there again. I tried with several of my tutors, but I still wasn’t able to get my words out.
I was bugged at my inability to change. Toward the end of the school day, I found myself with Mandy. She told me about her weekend. She talked and talked until finally I said, “Peggy told me to tell you hi.”
Mandy stopped dead in the middle of her sentence. She stared at me with her dark brown eyes, her jaw dropped open.
“I knew you could talk,” she said. “Why have you been holding back?” See, once people know you can talk, all they want to do is ask you questions. That is one of the reasons I didn’t talk. I didn’t know how to answer people’s questions.
When she saw I wasn’t going to answer her, she asked a different question, “Peggy who?”
“Peggy Sanibel,” I said.
“Oh Peggy, she’s a hoot. How do you know her?”
“She’s my foster mom.”
“No kidding? Doesn’t she already have like eight kids?”
“Eleven. I make number twelve.”
Mandy opened her eyes wide. “Twelve kids! That’s a lot.”
“Yeah, tell me about it,” I said.
“Things must get pretty crazy around your house.”
“Oh, they do,” I replied. I couldn’t believe it, we were having a conversation. Each word I said came out easier and smoother. I looked at our unified, brilliant blue aura. It gave me the courage to keep talking.
“That doesn’t surprise me, though. Peggy has always loved kids, and she is so good with them. She used to make me a bit envious, because it seemed like she could do anything.”
I laughed.
“What?” Mandy asked as she wrinkled her forehead.
“I love Peggy, but she is nothing wonderful. She is really lazy.”
Mandy looked shocked. “Lazy? Not Peggy. She is always working on one project or another. She has perfect kids.”
I laughed again. “The thing Peggy has gotten to perfection, is lying. I have watched her at church. She talks about how amazing she is and our family is, and none of it is true.”
“Really?”
“Oh, really.”
Mandy shook her head. “I can’t believe that. Peggy lazy?”
“Have you ever been to her home? Have you ever seen her so-called projects?” I asked her.
“No.”
“Our home is a dump. No one cleans a thing there.”
“Really? The Sanibels are pigs?” Mandy looked like I had hit her up the side of the head with that news.
Suddenly, I got nervous. “Please don’t tell her what I said,” I begged as I shook at the thought.
“No. Jane, I want you to know you can trust me. I won’t tell her a thing you tell me. Every kid needs a grownup in their life who they can go to for anything. Think of me as that person in your life.”
“Thanks,” I said. “Oh, by the way,” I added. “My name is Alora.”
“Alora, the office told me it was Jane. Is Jane your middle name?”
“No, they didn’t know what my name was. They gave me a bland name like Jane Doe.”
“The office named you Jane Doe?”
“No, not the office, the stuffy people.”
“Who are the stuffy people?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “I think they are Child Protecting Services. They put me in the Sanibels’ home.”
“Oh, I see. And they didn’t know your name?”
I sort of wished I hadn’t started in on that part of my life. That meant there was going to be questions. Questions I didn’t have answers to.
“I was found in a cement room. I guess I was hooked up to a lot of drugs because they said I was in a medically induced coma, whatever that means.”
Mandy jumped up, clapped her hands then sat back down. “You are that girl they found in Bountiful?”
I wanted to look away and stop talking to her, but I decided not to. I was taking Peggy’s challenge to change my image. I no longer wanted to be the mute, dumb kid anymore. With much effort, I kept looking at Mandy as I replied, “That’s me.”
“Oh my heck, I bet you have one heck of a story.”
“I really don’t have any story at all. All my memories are gone. No one knows who I really am, not even me. You probably know as much about me as I do.” I couldn’t believe I was sharing so much with her.
“But they at least knew your name was Alora?”
“No, remember? I told you they had called me Jane. I gave myself the name Alora.”
“Oh, okay, you are Alora Sanibel.”
“No, Alora Funk.”
“What a strange name. What does it mean?”
“I don’t know, are names supposed to mean something?”
“You better believe they do. I will look it up for you when I get home.”
“Thank you.”
“No problem, Alora Funk.”
“Can you help me with something, Mandy?”
“Anything.”
“I need to take a test from the school. The first couple of times I did it, I didn’t fill a single thing out. I am tired of playing the dumb, mute role. I want everyone in this school to know who I am. Will you help me ask the office if I can retake the test?”
“Right now?” Mandy asked.
“Yes,” I said.
…
After school, I met London at the Country Store. She had a mint, chocolate chip shake waiting for me. As I sucked the thick, cold ice cream off the spoon, the flavor and texture brought me pleasure. The added joy made it easier for me to open up to London.
“Thank you for the shake,” I said.
London was so overtaken with shock by my words. She dropped her own shake in the parking lot. “Oh, dagnabit,” she said as it burst out the top and the bottom. Green shake splattered all over the asphalt and onto her white sneakers. She awkwardly bent down and tried to scoop it back up into the broken cup. Sticky shake ran between her fingers, dripping onto her white shirt and pants.
“Hold that thought,” she said to me. She looked hesitant to walk away from me, probably fearing when she returned, I wouldn’t talk again. Quickly she ran to her car to clean up. She was back in less than two minutes.
“Oh, Jane, I am sorry I interrupted you. You talked! Will you do it again?” she said as she stood right in front of me. She made me nervous being so close. I tried to talk, but I couldn’t with her right in my space. I backed away three steps. With the new distance between us, I felt I could talk.
“Thanks for the shake,” I stammered. It wasn’t as easy as it had been with Mandy.
Although London had learned I could talk, she took over the conversation and bombarded me with her many words. Sometimes she would pause long enough for me to answer a few questions, but mostly she jabbered on. I guess I was glad she had so much to say, because I didn’t.
…
Tuesday, I found myself back in the small room at school, taking the tests. This time, I tried. I was still afraid to fail on them, but I needed to move on. I needed an identity and I needed a life. I couldn’t hide behind my silence anymore. I still didn’t know who Jane Doe was. That part of me might have died when they chemically induced me into a coma. I was now Alora Funk, and it was time to define myself.
The tests took most of the day. I really tried my best, but it
was exhausting. I felt like I didn’t know any of the answers. By the end of the testing, my head was pounding, hurting something fierce. I think the last hour I picked the first answer that looked good, because I was so ready to be done. I was relieved when school ended, and I got to go home.
…
Wednesday, I was sitting in second period when I was called out of class and sent to the counselor’s room. Ms. LeAnn welcomed me in. I was surprised to see Peggy already sitting in there.
Ms. LeAnn stood up, reached across the desk, and offered me her hand. I really didn’t want to shake it, so I stared at her. When she could tell I wasn’t going to shake it, she retracted her hand.
“Come in, Jane, come in,” she said. “You can sit next to your foster mom.”
Where else did she think I was going to sit? It was the only other chair available in the small room, but I didn’t sit.
“We have been going over the scores on your test. Let me start by thanking you so much for doing it. I hear from the office ladies how you are now speaking to us.”
I hadn’t sat down yet. I stared at her. Was I ready to share my voice? I knew it was something I had worked myself up to do, but when it came time to doing it, my voice seemed to disappear. My vocal cords shutting down, not responding. It seemed easier to talk with people I knew and trusted, like Peggy and Mandy. But, it was going to take some work with other people.
“Please sit down,” she said as she pointed to my chair. I sat. The chair was cold and hard. She turned her attention away from me and faced Peggy.
“Her test scores were…Let’s say they were lower than we had hoped.”
My stomach dropped at her words. Great, I knew it. I shouldn’t have taken the stupid test. I was letting everyone down. With my results, they had proof I was dumb. Ms. LeAnn must have seen my face fall, because she turned to me.
“Don’t worry Jane, it is okay, we will work through this.” She then turned back to Peggy. “Her tests put her about three years back. She is testing at about a fourth grade level.”
“Mercy me!” Peggy gasped.
“Now, we aren’t going to send her back to fourth grade. But maybe it would be best to move her to sixth grade. She is going to continue to be lost and overwhelmed in seventh grade.”
“What about ‘No Child Left Behind’? Does that not apply to her?” Peggy asked.
“Mrs. Sanibel, from what I understand, you guys don’t even know if she is old enough for seventh grade. Child Protective Services created an age for her out of thin air. I am not sure she can even keep up with sixth grade, to tell you the truth, but most certainly not seventh.”
“You are not going to do this?” Peggy said, her voice elevating. “Alora has already been through enough. She already has a label here as the stupid, mute kid. If you suddenly send her back to sixth grade, it will create fuel for all the bullies’ fire. They will further tease her and destroy her self-confidence even more than they have.”
“I wasn’t aware this was happening,” Ms. LeAnn said. “We have a no bullying policy in this school.”
“Well you policy doesn’t work, because it’s happening!” Peggy said, with an elevated tone of voice. “And I am not going to give you the chance to make it worse, do you understand?” Peggy scooted her body closer to the desk, staring down Ms. LeAnn. Ms. LeAnn leaned as far back in her chair as she could, probably trying to put some space between her and Peggy.
“This is for her own good. She doesn’t have what it takes to keep up in seventh grade,” Ms. LeAnn said in a meek voice.
“What do you know of Alora’s capabilities? Let’s give her a chance and see what she will do with it.”
“We have already seen what she can do with it. She has been in seventh grade for three full weeks. This is now her fourth week. The teachers say she doesn’t even do her homework. They say she stares off in space. She is failing in seventh grade, being swallowed up. This isn’t the place for her.”
“Hogwash. This is where she belongs. Alora has needed some time to adjust. I am sure you are aware she is the child they talked about on the news a couple of months ago. They found her in a chemically-induced coma. Thank goodness we cared enough to let her into our home. We have been so patient with her shortcomings, knowing she would need time to heal. Now, you are in education working with children. I would think you would understand the need to help her heal, and the patience it takes to do so.”
Ms. LeAnn rubbed her head and sighed. “How much time do want to give her to continue failing?”
Did Ms. LeAnn forget I was sitting right there as she trashed my name?
“How about three months?”
“We don’t even have three full months left in the school year.”
“Fine, give her until the end of the school year. If she can’t make par, then we will talk about holding her back, but I want to see what she can do. With the proper help and tutoring, I think she can catch up,” Peggy said defending me.
“I don’t know about this. You are asking me to allow her to sit in seventh grade and fail and to fall further behind. Right now, you should put her in the sixth grade, then she can spend the summer preparing herself for seventh.”
“I am not going to let you do it,” Peggy growled. “Alora has decided to turn a new leaf, and now she is ready to try. Give her this chance.”
“Is this true, Jane?” Ms. LeAnn said, as she turned to me.
I sat and stared at her for a while. I hated how she talked about me as if I wasn’t even there. She didn’t deserve to hear my voice. As I contemplated what to do, Peggy jabbed me with her elbow.
“If you don’t talk, she won’t know you are serious,” Peggy said.
I stared for a moment more. I guessed if I was going to talk, I had to start when it was the hardest. At least I would have Peggy there to fill in anything I missed.
I looked at Ms. LeAnn and said, “My name is Alora, not Jane.”
You would have thought I had presented two tickets to Disneyland to her. Ms. LeAnn jumped out of her seat and clapped her hands.
“She talked, she talked,” she shouted out. Her bizarre reaction made me never want to talk to her again. She was freaking me out.
“What are your thoughts on all of this?” she asked with a real cheesy grin on her face.
Oh how easy it would have been to stop talking again. She made me so nervous. But, I didn’t want to go to sixth grade, so I spoke up. “I don’t want to go to sixth grade,” I squeaked.
“Jane, are you willing to try, are you willing to do what it takes to catch up?”
“Her name is Alora,” Peggy corrected.
Ms. LeAnn looked at her computer screen. “Well, my official records say it is Jane Doe.”
“Well, your records are wrong. What kind of teenager wants to go around with a generic name like Jane Doe? You need to change her name to Alora Funk.”
“I am sorry, I can’t do that. That is a legal issue, and I can’t mess around with legal issues. If you want her name changed, then you will have to go to the district office to do it.”
“Wow, you guys are difficult to work with,” Peggy mumbled.
Ms. LeAnn looked flustered. She turned to me. “Will you do what you need to catch up?”
“Yes,” I said.
“Alright, it is your choice. I want to type this up, so I have on record I advised against it. I will give it to Jane during her last period of the day. Jane, take it home, have Mrs. Sanibel sign it, then drop it off to me in the office tomorrow.”
“She’ll do that,” Peggy said standing up. “If you don’t mind, I really have to go. I have some important things I need to get to.”
“Thanks for coming in,” Ms. LeAnn said. I wondered if she really meant it.
As Peggy left, I stood up to follow her. “Not so fast, Jane, we aren’t quite done.” I am sure Ms. LeAnn wanted me to sit back down, but I stood facing her.
&
nbsp; “Would you like to be put with peer support? They are a group of very nice kids who want to help any of the students feel comfortable. What they will do is walk with your from classes, sit with you at lunch, and help you with anything you need. I think this would be good for you.”
I liked the idea, but I was uncertain. Maybe having instant friends would help me. “Sure,” I said.
“Well, come with me, we have a bulletin board with their faces on is. Let’s pick you out a couple of kids for your peer support.” I followed her to the board. She smiled and pointed to Angela. “We’ll look, there is your foster sister. Why don’t we start with her?”
Angela was always telling her friends I was stupid and mute. She would be a horrible peer support. “No, please,” I replied.
“Really, you don’t want your sister?”
“No please,” I choked out. Speaking was already so hard. Why must I say it again?
Ms. LeAnn scanned the board. “Here we go, how about Aleaha and Britney? They are very nice girls, and I think you will really like them.”
I was done speaking, so I nodded my head. Within five minutes, Aleaha had been called up to the office. She had shoulder length black hair. She was a bit taller than me, and she had a golden aura.
“Hi Ms. LeAnn,” she sung out as she reached us.
“Hi, Aleaha. Have you had a chance to meet Jane Doe?” Aleaha looked at me and blushed. I wasn’t sure what she was thinking. “I’ve seen her around,” Aleaha replied. I noticed she started to fidget her hands. She probably remembered me as being the mute, dumb kid, and I am sure she was disappointed about getting stuck with me.
“Jane has been here a couple of weeks now, and she could use a little extra support, isn’t that right, Jane?”
Why had she said it like that? Did she want me to say, “Yes, Ms. LeAnn, you are right, I am stupid and mute and need all the help in the world. Will you help me so I am not so stupid?” Instead, I bowed my head in shame.
Aleaha wrapped her arm around my shoulder and guided me to the hall.
“Do you have your schedule?” she asked.
I looked at her. I didn’t want to talk. But, if I didn’t, then her confirmation about my stupidity would be solid. “I know my schedule,” I replied.
“Well, tell it to me. I will help you with all the periods I can.”
“I am in math right now.”
“Who’s your teacher?”
“Mr. Braxton.”
“Hmmm,” she said looking at her phone. “Second period is already over. I have Mr. Braxton for second with you. Do you remember seeing me in there?”
I shook my head no.
“Okay, who do you have for third?”
“I have Mr. Seal for Science.”
“Tell me the rest of your schedule.”
“I have Mr. Frost for language arts. Then Mrs. Holbrook for history. My last class is PE with Mrs. Meow.”
“Well, I have two of those classes with you. Who do you have for first period?”
“I have Mr. Bates.”
“Three. I have three classes with you. I can help you with math, science, and geography. You will have to find someone for the other classes. But, you can have lunch with me.”
“They said my other peer support is Britney.”
“Oh, you will like her.”
Aleaha looked at her phone again. “There is only fifteen minutes of third period left. There is no use to going to it. Let’s go pop-a-squat somewhere and talk.”
Pop-a-what? I would have rather gone to class. I didn’t want to talk. The first words she would ask, would be to tell her something about me. I had nothing to tell.
We went and sat in the Foyer. She must have been a star pupil, because none of the teachers questioned why we were there.
“Tell me about yourself,” Aleaha said.
“There is nothing to tell,” I replied.
“That’s not what I have heard,” Aleaha answered.
I started to sweat. I really didn’t want to do this. Having a peer support was a bad idea. It sounded like she already had a perception formed of who she thought I was. She probably knew me as Jane Doe, the dumb and mute girl. I could keep quiet and validate the information she knew about me, or I could show her someone else, show her who I wanted to be. I decided to take Peggy’s advice and create Alora Funk.
“For starters,” I replied. “My name is Alora Funk.”
Aleaha looked stunned. “I thought your name was Jane Doe.”
“No, it is the stupid name the FBI gave me when they placed me at this school.” FBI? Why did I say that?
Aleaha looked even more stunned. “Stop it!” she said. “The FBI didn’t put you here, did they?”
Oh no, I was already stuck to my lie. I had to think of something to say. “Have you heard my story?” I asked her.
“Well, I thought I had.” She replied.
Instead of telling the truth, I intermixed lie into the details. Again, I wasn’t sure why I was doing it, I guess I was so desperate to impress her and change my image. “The FBI had rescued me from the Russians. I was their prisoner in a cement cell. I am sure you had heard about it on the news,” I said. I was shaking, my voice sounded so unnatural. The FBI could have rescued me, but I thought it was the police.
“I heard about you on the news,” she confessed. “And your foster sister Angela told me about you, but she never said anything about the FBI.” I shook more. Lying was a new thing for me. I felt so stupid for doing it, wanting to take back my words, but it was too late.
“Maybe Angela doesn’t know everything about me,” I said to hide the truth.
“Oh,” Aleaha said.
Just then the bell rang. I was glad, because I really didn’t have any more lies. Aleaha jumped up and grabbed her bag. “I guess I will see you around,” she said.
“Aren’t you my peer support?” I asked.
“Oh yeah, I am,” she said. “Let’s go help you make some friends.”
During my sixth period, an envelope was delivered to me from the office. It had Mrs. Sanibel printed on it. I took the letter and crammed it into my back pack.
Alora Funk- The Deliverance: Book 1 Page 12